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No, that’s not a misspelling in the title. You see, today we are going to talk about Mr. Elk and his real name, which sounds just like that river in Egypt.
Ever seen I’ve known Mr Elk, his name has been frustrating to him. He likes it. It’s Irish, and his parents moved here from Ireland when they were in their 20s, so it makes sense. But for some reason, people just cannot pronounce it correctly.
Most people, for whatever reason (I think it MAY have something to do with Frasier), like to magically add an S, which appears out of thin air! Even some of my family members, who he’s known for 7 years, have been known to occasionally slip up and add the dreaded S. Other people, upon reading his name for the first time, try to make it sound like Neil… kind of. “Neeh-ahl,” they always say, in a questioning sort of way, obviously confused as they realize that probably isn’t the way to pronounce it. He has even been called Nail once or twice!
Anyway, why are we talking about this? Well…our names will be a pretty major parts of the wedding. I’m not worried about our officiant (who we’ll talk about soon enough), but the other vendors, especially our DJ, are concerning to me.
You see, some people it seems just don’t WANT to hear the correct pronunciation. Regardless of how many times I correct them, they continue to add that S. They think they know better than me how his name should be said aloud!
I plan on approaching each vendor head on with this concern, especially the ones who will have anything to do with addressing us at the wedding. I really don’t want to turn into a frustrated Franny at the wedding, and I don’t want Mr Elk getting annoyed either.
Anyone else have a semi-hard-to-pronounce name? Are you concerned about the possibility of it getting mispronounced?
I wouldn’t worry about other vendors - when our DJ did the introductions, we pronounced the names for him and he said them into the microphone immediately following, repeating exactly what we said. It was all behind the scenes, but to help along the process, we phonetically spelled names for him. My first name is Adria and I literally sent him an e-mail in which I wrote “A (as in the first letter of the alphabet) DREE-Uh” and he got it when he called us later to discuss further details.
Your vendors are your people - you are paying them good money to do you a service, and part of that includes calling you by your chosen name.
I feel ya - My fiance’s name is Selvin but when people hear it for the first time they call him Sullivan. Then he corrects them and says, no its Selvin, kind of like Melvin but with an S… so now his new nickname at the Fire Department is Smelvin or Melvins -
Ugh my name is always mispronounced and I don’t know why… It sounds exactly like it’s spelled! It’s a strange last name though so people see it and automatically freeze up or something. FI has a nice, normal last name… Can’t wait til I get to share it with him!
Your poor hubby, I would probably say it like “Neal” the first time too. But I would at least try to get it right! People can be really rude about uncommon names sometimes.
My new last name…
It is excpetionally uncommon, and has a silent “L” in it that took me literally years to drop. It doesn’t help that my kind FI and his family never corrected me.
Anyways, I expect to spend a lot of time spelling and pronouncing my new name, FI is used to it naturally. But I’m going from a name that’s a common last name and is also a word in English, so I’ve always just said “not [ANTONYM]” if people don’t get it hearing me say it aloud.
So, good luck to you two.
Oh yes, my friend. It’s right there in my user ID. My married name is indeed pronounced “a-bear” (like, Look, there’s a bear!). Well, his name is of French origin by way of Cajun Country (i.e. Louisiana), so it looks NOTHING like it’s spelled: “Hebert”.. No, it’s not Herbert, or Hee-bert, or Hey-bert! People just LOVE to imagine that extra R belongs in there. Even after I say “A-Bear, h-e-b-e-r-t” people still come back and callme Mrs. “Hay-bear.” They just can’t fathom the fact that the ‘H’ is NOT pronounced.
I have had at least 3 places where I changed my name, then had to call back weeks later and have them correct the spelling. Now, I automatically just add (Note: my name is NOT “HeRbert”). So I totally feel your pain, sister!!!
(My maiden name, coincidentally enough, is in fact your problem name from Fraiser. People almost never screwed that one up.)
I should also mention that during our wedding rehearsal, the Pastor, with whom we did 2 months of counseling with, called us “Herbert”. Well, you can imagine the uproar from both families as we all envisioned such a terrible faux pas on the actual day of! the DJ, on the other hand, had no problems once we gave her the “Look, There’s A-Bear” pronunciation.
Most DJs will ask for pronunciation notes on each name so that shouldn’t be a worry. I have a common name with a decidedly uncommon spelling that gets butchered every time (I’m more surprised when someone says my name correctly the first time they read my name!) so I’ve come to roll with the punches but come wedding day, everyone will know how to say my name!
I feel your FI’s pain. My first name is Shoshana, and my last name is a Polish name that is ridiculously hard to pronounce. I’ve spent my entire life hearing people mispronounce my name, and most of the time, unless they ask if they’ve pronounced it wrong, or are completely off base, I just let it go, because I would be correcting people ALL of the time.
That being said, I love my name, and it’s uniqueness. Although I’m super excited to take FI’s last name, because it’s one that’s both easy to spell and pronounce, I’m also a teeny bit sad that I won’t be the only “me” in the world. That’s right. I’m the loser that googled my name!
When I said your FI’s name out loud it totally came out sounding like a question! And now I realize that I do that every time I pronounce a name that I’m unsure of.
People have always said my name wrong, my first name Lindsay gets pronounced “Lin-SAAAY” , which I guess is understandable? My last name is German and people would always spell it wrong and then a realized about a year ago that it’s because I don’t pronounce it right and I tend to add a “U” sound where there is an “E”. Odd! I like my married name, it’s short and sweet!
Rhymes help. My last name is Henkel, and people come up with creative ways to pronounce it. Once I tell them “rhymes with ankle,” they get it. A friend in high school had a last name with an unusual spelling. When she told people “rhymes with chocolate,” they always got it right.
I totally understand where you’re coming from! My fiance has a totally normal name. Cameron. Can’t get any easier than that, well maybe you can. But my name is Cheriee. Pronounced Shuh-reee. Like Marie with a Sh at the beginning. Gee thanks Mom, it’s been a real peach living with that for the last 25 years. So far our officiant has only called me Sherry (the most common mispronounciation) once. But I am terrified that the DJ will do it. Especially after Mrs. Frog’s post about calling her the wrong name altogether.
Good luck to you and Mr. Elk! His name is beautiful by the way!
I feel ALL of your name pains. My last name is Lithuanian and his last name is Croatian. Top that with two normal enough first names with odd spellings… sometimes it is a headache! However I love my last name (it rhymes with bronchitis) and I love that his last name is just as interesting with a little spunk (it ends in ack!).
So I will take the time to make sure everyone can spell and pronounce them all and appreciate them for their uniqueness. Plus it helps cut down on telemarketers. Is blahfksdfhaf home? No sorry, never heard of ‘em.
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Miss Elk, City: Syracuse/Long Island Age and Occupation: 25, Medical Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Computer Engineer Engagement Date: November 22, 2010 Wedding Date: May 2012 Venue: The Old Field Club About Me: I’m a Long Island girl finishing my last year of medical school in western NY, on the road to becoming a pediatrician. When I’m not studying or sleeping at the hospital, I spend my free time watching bad TV (Vampire Diaries anyone?), playing with my pooch, singing incredibly off-key (to the annoyance of Mr. Elk ), and reading Harry Potter for the zillionth time. Mr. Elk and I are planning a secular wedding infused with both Irish and cultural Jewish traditions. Only a week after I become an M.D., I will get my Mrs. degree, too!
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