A while back, I mentioned how our initial choice in officiant, Pastor Tom, didn’t work out because he already had another wedding scheduled. He was an ideal choice for several reasons—I’ve known him and his family since I was a baby, he’s a Lutheran pastor, he has a great sense of humor, he did my mom’s wedding last year, etc.—but alas, it was not meant to be.
I briefly panicked until my mom mentioned that her lifelong friend, Pastor Liz, could be another viable officiant candidate. While I don’t know her nearly as well as Pastor Tom, I was open to asking her to do our ceremony—at the time, having a pastor (who was willing to go light on or completely forgo the God speak) was important to me. Well, I thought it was. There was definitely a bit of fuzz between what I wanted and what I thought I wanted because of what I thought my parents wanted. Figure that one out, Sherlock.
So Pastor Liz and I emailed back and forth a bunch. She said she would be open to officiating the ceremony, and we even had a phone call (while Foxy was at work) that kick-started my mind to think about what I/we truly wanted our ceremony to be and what it would ultimately entail. While this was all very helpful and seemed to fit all my previous requirements, something still didn’t feel right. I thought I wanted a pastor, but…maybe I didn’t? Maybe a Justice of the Peace would be just fine…better, even.
To save you time (and because I like lists), here’s.. a list.
Pros (of using Pastor Liz):
Cons (same category):
A lot of these thoughts had been circling in my head for the past few weeks. Conveniently enough, I ended up having a heart to heart phone conversation with my mom the other day, where she randomly “put out there” that it’s OK if Foxy and I decide not to use Pastor Liz, even if we’ve already started talking with her. Honestly…? I didn’t realize that. Just hearing her say that sent a wave of relief over my body and mind that I didn’t know I needed. At that moment, I knew what I wanted. And it wasn’t Pastor Liz.
I relayed all this information to Foxy, we chatted about it for a bit, then decided we would cancel with Pastor Liz (cancel sounds way better than “fire,” don’t you think?), especially since we had someone in mind to fill in. Not quite a Justice of the Peace, but definitely someone certified in marrying couples. You may recognize her.
That would be miss EAQ219 (no, not our crazy pup.. although that would be awesome)! Miss E and her hubs have become super great friends of Foxy’s and mine, and seeing that she is already in the wedding biz and has some experience in marrying couples…well, we couldn’t think of someone better to ask. She knows both of us, she’s sassy and can be a bossyboots if need be (think: rehearsal), she has a spunky sense of humor, and the list goes on. Once we asked her to officiate (and heard her ultimate YES), I had a huge sense of… well, I’m not sure. Happiness? Relief? Sudden urge to plan my entire ceremony right.this.instant because I was so excited? You get the idea.
So no, E isn’t a pastor, but apparently these past few months have brought about a change of mind in terms of what we (I) value in our officiant. And while we aren’t using Pastor Liz anymore, she definitely got the ball rolling. I started thinking about my ceremony vision and realized that it would both mean more and be more appropriate if we had a friend do it. And so it shall be!
Did you have any officiant “drama” leading up to the wedding? How did you ultimately decide who to have officiate?