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Miss Porcupine, NYC/Lancaster, PA Age and Occupation: 26, Sales Coordinator/Publishing Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Assistant Manager/Sales Engagement Date: August 8, 2010 Wedding Date: March 2012 Venue: Riverdale Manor About Me: I'm a born and bred New Yorker with a love/hate relationship for the city I have always called home. Although I may seem quiet from afar, I have a loud personality once you get to know me. I am a book nerd at heart, but love a night out in the city with good friends. I have a serious addiction to all things cheese, chocolate, cardigans, Mexican food, and reality TV. The future hubs and I met in college, settled in New York, and decided to go with a rustic/peacock infused wedding in Lancaster, PA, right near his hometown. Come the big day, we will be together 5 years, and we're looking forward to making it official!
About Miss Porcupine

With the holidays upon us there has definitely been a recent upsurge of engagements. My Facebook newsfeed has definitely been plastered with many newly engaged couples changing their relationship status, and posting shots of their brand new bling to their Timeline.

I recently read an article that got me thinking about the whole conundrum of whether or not to post a picture of your engagement ring to Facebook. The article itself was written in a really snarky and rude manner, damning the women who choose to snap a picture of their engagement ring up-close and then send off to their mobile uploads. The writer, who is not-engaged but in a happy relationship which she felt the need to stress (over compensation, much?), got a lot of backlash in her comments section, and for the sake of preventing an internet war of words between said site and Weddingbee I think that it’s best that I leave the source of the article anonymous.

In essence, the article voices the view that it is cheesy, materialistic and alarming to post pictures of your new shiny bling to your Facebook.

One of her points made sense. For instance, yes, you’re not engaged to your hand so why not snap a picture of you and your fiancé together, instead of a close-up of your ring? (In my opinion, why not a shot of both?) However, she also said some things that I found to be a little ridiculous, along the lines of, “no one wants to see your sausage fingers up-close.”

I love seeing people I knew at different points in my life get engaged thanks to Facebook. It’s always kind of fun to see that XYZ-friend that I played on the swings with is now set to become a married woman. And, like most women, I love seeing diamond rings. I really don’t mind the ring shots people post to their newsfeed. In the exciting moment, I don’t think posting the ring comes from a place of materialism. The symbol of an engagement ring, and the act of showing it off to everyone, has become a right of passage engraved into our society. How many times after your engagement did someone swat at your hand and shout, “Let me see the ring!”?

When I got engaged I was still Smartphone-less (yes, I’m a Grandma. I also still refuse to switch to an e-reader) so there was no ring shot uploaded when it happened. I posted a pic of the ring later on within our engagement album. Only one and hey, why not? I don’t see why posting it to Facebook, a personal choice nonetheless, should concern anyone. If we aren’t close anymore and you could care less then go ahead and de-friend me. Mr. P spent a long time researching and picking out the ring. It’s certainly not the most important part of our engagement, but it IS a part of it, so why not snap a shot and include it as part of the other thousands of minute details we all post about each day? Why do I need to censor myself?

In our evolving culture we definitely share more parts of our life then ever before. The article in itself made it seem like a crime to post a photo of something that is going to be (most likely) one of your most prized possessions. Whether it’s 2 carats or ¼ carat, a sapphire instead of a diamond, a simple band, or a piece of twine is not the point. The whole point in posting the image is the excitement, bliss, and joy you feel the need to share in that moment (or day or week after).

Where do you stand on posting e-ring pictures to Facebook or other social networking sites? Did you post a photo of your ring for all your “friends” to see?

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62 Responses to “Facebook and the Engagement Ring Photo Conundrum”

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1.
seahorsey
Member
seahorsey (message)  576 posts, Busy bee

AMENNNNNNNN. If someone didn’t care to see my engagement when I posted it, they’re welcome to remove me as a friend. It’s a happy moment in my life and with lots of family who may not see the ring until the day of otherwise, I felt it totally fine to post it.

 
2.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Raccoon (message)  308 posts, Helper bee

I’m with you! I think most times those pictures are posted to share excitement and love whether it’s a ring made out of a twist tie or something that might cause blindness to people passing on the street. I’ve been trying to cut back on facebook, but I do love to see engagements pop up on my feed!

 
3.
Lexy
Member
Lexy (message)  404 posts, Helper bee

Sort of! I posted a photo of me holding a glass of champagne with my new ring on that said “celebrating”. So it took people a second to figure out what the deal was. But, yeah, people on the internet like to start stuff (obvious statement of the day).

 
4.
knvprincess143
Member
knvprincess143 (message)  807 posts, Busy bee

Haha, I blogged about this not too long ago. I was done with the upload before FI couldn’t get the word “me?” out of his mouth. Okay not really, but it was fast. Then 5 minutes later I deleted it. WHY? Becuase I wanted to tell people like my grandma (who does have and use FB) in person. Or have a moment when someone spots the ring for the first time on my hand and scream “O-M-G”. Later after a few weeks and I was sure all the my closest knew I reposted it.

 
5.
Lexy
Member
Lexy (message)  404 posts, Helper bee

Also, I’d rather see people posting about their happy engagement than regaling me with tales of their misery as some of my facebook friends have been wont to do.

 
6.
Ocean
Member
Ocean (message)  228 posts, Helper bee

I would say someone is jealous.

 
7.
Legallyblondiebride
Member
Legallyblondiebride (message)  682 posts, Busy bee

I really feel like the people who get pissy about this have a chip on their shoulders. I have never seen a happily engaged or happily married woman ever care about this type of thing. Women get excited when they become engaged…what’s so wrong with posting a picture of the ring? I actually didn’t post a picture until a few weeks after we got engaged - I caved when people kept posting on my wall asking me to upload a pic.

If this annoys women so much, they can always block their friend’s newsfeed instead of composing an entire bitter article bitching about it. Good grief, let people be happy and be happy for them!

 
8.
pfizertobe
Member
pfizertobe (message)  93 posts, Worker bee

I doubt posting the ring is to show off but just a post of excitement. I personally did not post a picture of my ring nor did I announce my engagement on FB. I’ve been engaged a month and people are still now finding out about it. But that’s just me. I love reading engagement news feed and I’m always curious about the ring. I love shiney things,

 
9.
redherring
Member
redherring (message)  1,976 posts, Buzzing bee

Someone has too much time on their hands if they get so upset about people posting pictures of their engagement rings on FB that they bother writing and publishing an entire article detailing their rage.

 
10.
Member Icon
Member
alphagam84 (message)  57 posts, Worker bee

I think posting a few pics of the ring is fine! I have a lot of out of town family and friends and actually received requests to put a pic on FB so they could see it.

 
11.
Coffee cup
Member
Coffee cup (message)  1,843 posts, Buzzing bee

I haven’t posted anything cause we’re still secretly engaged. I’m not sure if I’ll post a picture or if we’ll change our FB status right away cause I want important people to hear it from us and not FB, but I’m really not the kind of person who shares everything on FB.

 
12.
LibraryBride2013
Member
LibraryBride2013 (message)  164 posts, Blushing bee

I posted a picture, a few weeks after we got engaged, mostly because a lot of people were asking about it. I tried to do the artistic shot - not on my finger because I DO have sausage fingers and I hate the way my hands look close up! I love seeing other people’s rings, and before I got engaged there was also a twinge of jealousy there too, but I would never unfriend someone or say anything bad about it, that’s ridiculous!

 
13.
Guest Icon
Guest
Army Amy*

I don’t mind fb ring shots. It’s the same when celebs get engaged; everybody wants to see the bling!*

 
14.
sugarpea
Member
sugarpea (message)  1,460 posts, Bumble bee

I plan on posting a few pictures of my ring when my boyfriend finally proposes ;)

I would much rather see some pictures of an engagement ring than generic pictures of that night’s beer pong tournament hahah (:

 
15.
KatyLovesJoey
Member
KatyLovesJoey (message)  262 posts, Helper bee

I definitely posted mine! But I waited until we called parents, siblings, close friends, etc. first, since I didn’t want to break the news on FB. Everyone’s first question was about the ring and would I send them a pic because they wanted to see, so it didn’t even occur to me to think twice before putting it out there! :)

 
16.
Member Icon
Member
JD193 (message)  43 posts, Newbee

I posted a ton of shots of my ring right after I got engaged - which, in retrospect I think may have been a bit showy but I just LOVED my ring and was so excited about it, I never even thought about it - along with a ton of shots of my new fiance and I together. I see no problems with it - I was excited, as should anyone that just got engaged be, so who cares?? I also stalk people’s pages after they get engaged, hoping to see the ring, because I just love to see them! I get that some people can be obnoxious about getting engaged/married (or even just about being in a relationship in general) but it sounds to me like this writer was a bit harsh, and may just be a tad jealous.

 
17.
TinyTina
Member
TinyTina (message)  3,312 posts, Sugar bee

I posted a single shot of my e-ring along with a few photos of the two of us a few days after the engagement. And I love seeing ring pics when my FB friends get engaged!!! I live far from most of my friends and family and you just never know when you’re going to see them again. Sure I guess you could email them all individually, but that just doesn’t make any sense. I don’t see anything wrong with it.

Someone sounds jealous. ;)

 
18.
Member Icon
Member
dragonbride (message)  14 posts, Newbee

I don’t always post everything on FB - a few things are not meant to be share to the world, but I don’t think engagement topic is one of those. I posted our engagement pics first. Well, actually, our friends did cause FI proposed at a surprised dinner, so we had many people there to witness and once FI was down to his knee, I could see from the corner of my eyes that everyone was taking pics and the next second its all on FB. LOL. Later I posted my ring. It was a gorgeous ring and my FI got it himself (with a help from his friend) and I LOVE it!!! FI was not making a lot of money but he’d been saving some $$ so he could buy me a really nice ring. SO, I was really proud of him. And I wanted to share that with everyone. Plus I have lots of friends and family who live out of state. If anyone feel that was inappropriate and can’t be happy for me, well, I guess they can remove me from the friend list =)

 
19.
Guest Icon
Guest
bmiyo

As a wedding photographer, who has taken countless pictures of other people’s rings, I was SO excited to finally have a ring of my own to take pictures of!

A ring is so much more than materialism, it represents a life together, the commitment to spend your life with someone and the fact that someone loves you unconditionally and there is something physical that represents that! Awesome!

 
20.
Kant
Member
Kant (message)  1,527 posts, Bumble bee

Thank you for saying this! I don’t know why posting your ring to Facebook gets such flack. When a couple gets engaged the first thing I want to see is a ring picture, and I think secretly everyone feels the same way. I posted multiple pictures of my ring (and I’m talking clear, digital SLR photos, not just grainy cell pics) as well as nice photos of us immediately post-proposal in an album when we announced it on Facebook. I got a lot of comments on the ring pictures from all my female friends because that’s what they all wanted to see!

I never think of it as “show-offy” or “materialistic”. That would be like saying, “Post pictures of your wedding, but don’t post a portrait of you as a bride” because doing so would be showing off the fact that you wore an expensive dress and veil. A ring is inherently part of an engagement (if you got engaged with a ring, of course) just as much as a dress is part of a wedding…it’s part of the whole picture and something that people want to see. I don’t see anything wrong with posting pictures of it. Plus, an engagement ring is a visible and almost cultural symbol of being engaged, so it’s a fun way to announce the engagement by showing your be-ringed finger.

 
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Miss Porcupine
Miss Porcupine

Miss Porcupine, NYC/Lancaster, PA Age and Occupation: 26, Sales Coordinator/Publishing Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Assistant Manager/Sales Engagement Date: August 8, 2010 Wedding Date: March 2012 Venue: Riverdale Manor About Me: I'm a born and bred New Yorker with a love/hate relationship for the city I have always called home. Although I may seem quiet from afar, I have a loud personality once you get to know me. I am a book nerd at heart, but love a night out in the city with good friends. I have a serious addiction to all things cheese, chocolate, cardigans, Mexican food, and reality TV. The future hubs and I met in college, settled in New York, and decided to go with a rustic/peacock infused wedding in Lancaster, PA, right near his hometown. Come the big day, we will be together 5 years, and we're looking forward to making it official!

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