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No, this is not a post about horrendous invasions of personal space. This is about having a seating chart. Or not.
We spent Christmas at my family’s and I really tried to keep wedding talk to a minimum, however I could not pass up a chance with most of the major players present to ask: Seating chart? Yes or no? I personally had very mixed feeling on a chart. I know it is the “polite” thing to do so your guests aren’t wandering around like confused sheep, or (more likely) stuck next to people they don’t know and forced to make awkward conversation with because they came in late. On top of that, I really like the idea of fun, beautiful table numbers and seating cards.
On the flip side, we are celebrating in a brewery, not a ballroom. It is a casual atmosphere and people would hopefully be able to figure out a place to sit. The other bonus of this plan is that it saves me from having to make said table numbers and seating charts because, as beautiful as they can be, I have a feeling they will have a high PIA factor.
All of that considered, I was on the fence.
Mr. Aardvark had absolutely no opinion on the matter, so there we stayed together on the fence. And thusly we needed input from parental sources.
However, team MOM (aka Mama and Step Mama Aardvark) quickly made clear that a seating chart was the way to go. No ifs ands or butts (hehe…butts….get it? In seats… (oh boy)) about it.
I set out to start the skeleton of a seating chart, as the mothers had spoken. The first thing I needed was to know how many tables we had and how many they could seat. A couple emails later I had the following information:
on top of this, there is a bar and six high-top tables. Four of the high tops seat 8, and two seat 2. One of the larger ones will be used for cake and candy buffet (that was a stroke of wedding planning genius to keep small children away from the candy without adult help).
So, there you have it. We have 35 tables at which to seat people, hopefully 175 or fewer people. To save space (and paper and money) I have decided against escort cards in favor of something big that people will read when they come in and then find their seats. Other than that I have no plan.
Are you doing a seating chart? Why or why not? Do you have any advice for those out there looking to simplify the process of seating your guests?
I did table seating, not specific seats. And I bought a chalkboard and wrote their names. VOILA. Simple & easy.
We aren’t doing a seating chart, but we are…
For the actual food part, no. We’ll have a few tables locked off for us. But for the guests, no.
Then we have the baseball game. And we have to have those in their assigned seats, or atleast in that general area.
We figured that without some direction people may stand around awkwardly or leave seats between them (like at the movie theatre), so we’re assigning tables.
The reception will be set up Hogwarts style, and the rough plan is this: the bridal party and nuclear family will be at the head table with four long tables for my extended family, his extended family, family friends, and our friends. I was thinking of doing escort cards, but now I’m liking the idea of a sign.
We’re doing assigned tables and placing place cards on a ribbon board at the entrance for our reception. We went to a wedding last summer where there wasn’t enough seating (I guess there were a few surprise guests.) We ended up at the kids table while the parents of the ill behaved children enjoyed their nice adult only table. I decided on that day that I would at least assign tables… just makes it easier and more enjoyable for the guests.
Well Hello Miss Aardvark! I was excited to see that you were posting on the seating chart topic, because I have thinking about this a lot lately. Then when I clicked on your posting - I realized you live in Wisconsin… yay! I am in Madison - getting married in Delafield.
My mom has been bringing up the seating chart a lot lately, trying to figure out where to sit the family. I am leaving that to her & as of right now believe that seating arranging seating for all of my guests will be “fun” but have a feeling that will change.
GOOD LUCK!
@Kim, Yay for Wisconsin Bees! We have to plan a meet-up sometime because I know there are a lot of us but I am waiting for things to get a little less crazy first!
I think I will only be assigning tables and not seats… Seems to make the most sense!
@ Future Mrs. Vee, I can’t believe you got stuck at the kid’s table! Did you at least have crayons?!
My mother did not like the idea of a Seating Chart - but I really wanted to assign Tables not seats. Most weddings I have been to I’ve either searched for a chair or given mine up to someone elderly. I can’t stand that some people feel they are so important they deserve to be upfront and center while an older person or pregnant woman is having to stand just to see the couple. Call me “old fashion”
Other things at weddings I’ve seen is where the “Reserved Seating goes unused because either family and friends doesn’t know it was reserved for them or their friends were forced to sit elsewhere and they chose to be there.
So anyway - I am planning Table assignments - hopefully with a good mixture of People they know with people they will like once they meet.
@Future Mrs. Vee: Oh my gosh - I’ve been there too! It drives me crazy. My question is - at what age do the kids sit at another table?
We are doing a seating chart. We’ve been to way too many weddings where it was total chaos trying to find a seat, esp if you wanted to sit with certain people.
I wanted to do some cool escort cards, but the last wedding we went to we were chasing down the coordinator to find out where to sit since someone took our card (trying to do us a favor i guess). At that point FI said we must have a chart or something that wont move lol
Good luck getting it all figured out! We’re at the end of our RSVP date so we’ll be doing this very soon! We’re going to have a plan so no families get separated, but I’m thinking about doing cards in case we need to make any last minute changes.
We didn’t want one, but my mum really pushed for one. We pushed back and ended up getting our way. 
We had a head table for the bridal party, a parent table right near it (mum was concerned about not getting a ‘good seat’, even though we had a ’strolling’ reception) and everything else was 4-person cafe tables and a few high-tops to stand at.
There were enough chairs in the room for everone to be able to sit down at once, but that only happened for the speeches.
We assigned guests to tables but let them choose their own seats once they got there. Most stayed put for dinner and there was some table-hopping afterward as people mixed and mingled. We tried to put people where they would be comfortable - elderly guests far from loud speakers, college friends next to the dance floor, family members close together. Everyone seemed to get along well.
I have a little social anxiety, and as a guest I always appreciate being assigned to a specific table!
We had assigned tables but even that turned into a disaster. I would suggest if anyone decides to assign tables or seats, DO NOT let anyone know where they or anyone else is sitting.
If on the day they don’t like where they are sitting they will not bring it up to you and after the day well it can’t be changed so it doesn’t matter.
My MIL decided that 3 days before the wedding she wanted her brother to be invited (even though we had given her his invite 3 months earlier and she had torn it up - she only changed her mind as he was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor) Because we didn’t have the room (as both mums had invited extra people) we couldn’t accommodate him but said that if anyone pulled out we would be able to give him a seat, we also knew that he was that sick that he didn’t want to be there but no one else had asked him they told him. Because of all this we were also told that MIL didn’t want a kids table and I was forced to change the entire seating plan will grieving my miscarriage (which MIL knew about but her grief for her brother was overwhelming and she was unable to see anyone else in this)
SO long story short if we hadn’t shown anyone the seating plan they wouldn’t have been able to get upset over it and I wouldn’t have spent the last 2 days before my wedding in tears trying to make others happy because I knew that if she was unhappy on the day it would make me unhappy. She also called me an asshole at the end of the reception but thats another story
Oh no Dea! That does sound awful! Thanks for the tip. We will for sure keep our under wraps until the last second!
We did a seating chart (table assignments only, not specific seats). Our venue actually required that we have one, but I would have done it anyway. We just started the same way you did - grouping people together - and then we played around with different table combinations. We always made sure that each person had at least one person they knew at their table (usually a date, but not always), but whenever possible we grouped larger groups together. When combining groups, we tried to think of personalities and who would get along with each other. We actually had a fun time figuring it out!
We don’t plan on having a seating chart but only because we’ll have less than 30 people and they’re all family so we figured we’d add an extra few tables so people could space out or even move around if they wanted to, So far everyone I’ve asked has been okay with it 
We did assigned seating. I was expecting that process to give me a huge headache but it wasn’t too bad. The hardest part was that after all my place cards were printed, I was missing 1 person! Took me forever to figure that one out but all is good now. Yeah - I’m not letting anyone know ahead of time who they are sitting with. It’s only for dinner anyway! Good luck with the process!
We’re doing table assignments… I think not having a seating chart only works if you a smaller wedding. With 200 guests it’s just too easy for large groups/families to get split and be unable to sit together. I know they are a total PITA, but I think seating charts are the way to go!
Im still on the fence, I dont want one but then again I want one! UGH!
We are doing table assignments! It’s going to be really easy for Vegas, so that’s already finished. I haven’t even started thinking about the chart for Milwaukee. Ack.
I feel like seating charts are a huge pain in the butt when you are making them, but they make the actual wedding reception go so much smoother — especially if you are tight on seats/tables.
I’m also leaning towards table assignments. Mostly because I’m concerned about people trying to spread out and we don’t have the tables or space for that. I also like the idea of having assigned tables because then if you want to leave your coat or purse you know where you left it and you can also be sure of having a spot that is yours.
Plus, since we are not doing a receiving line, we need a way to get to everyone during the reception. It would be so hard with out having tables where we can corral them on the wedding day.
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Miss Aardvark, Beaver Dam, WI Age and Occupation: 23, Assistant Product Manager Fiance's Age and Occupation: 31, Business Analyst Engagement Date: May 28th, 2011 Wedding Date: April 2012 Venue: St. Philip Catholic Church/Arcadia Brewing Co. About Me: I am a resourceful lady who love surprises and adventure. At the same time, I value traditions, family and friends. I like to make crafty messes, sometimes, clean them up, and do pretty much anything outdoors. The Mister and I are pretty avid cyclists---we have nine bikes in our home right now...and one motorcycle! We both enjoy eating food we can't pronounce (language doesn't really matter) and going places we've never been. We currently reside in rural Wisconsin, enjoying the cheese and beer it has to offer, and getting outside whenever we can!
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