Weddingbee Blog

One of the things I’m looking forward to the most post-wedding is finally being able to share an address with Mr. Opossum. I can’t wait to start fresh together and be able to organize, decorate, and make decisions about our home together as a team. I’m probably not going to know what to do with all the time I now spend commuting back and forth between our respective homes.

Many other bees have addressed this topic in the past very eloquently (including Mrs. Snow Cone, Miss Aardvark, Miss Porcupine, and Mrs. Dumpling). Before I move forward with this post, I’d like to put it out there that I pass zero judgment on any couples who make a decision to live together before marriage. Every couple is different and what works for some won’t necessarily work for others. Not living together has actually worked out great for us personally for several reasons…some of them being more complicated than others.

The main reason we haven’t lived together is that we haven’t really had the chance to live together. I’m from Tallahassee (home of Florida State University), but I was “traitor” and ended up attending The University of Florida in Gainesville, about a two-and-a-half-hour drive from my parents’ home. Mr. Opossum and I spent four years commuting back and forth. Even though it wasn’t a long drive, it was difficult enough trying to manage jobs and schoolwork while traveling as many weekends as possible. Living together just wasn’t an option.

Now that we’ve been back in the same town for a decent amount of time, we’ve found other reasons to postpone living together. Financially it makes more sense that we try and save as much money as possible before we’re married. Even though it stinks to be a twentysomething living in my old bedroom at my parents’ home, economically it is the responsible thing to do. We’re able to save up every penny that would be going toward rent, utility bills, and cable/internet (plus, the free food isn’t bad either). I’m pushing through this time in our lives reminding myself that I want to go to grad school and I want to buy a house one day. Blowing unnecessary money on rent right now, especially while our parents are being so generous, is probably foolish.

Because we’ve already gone so long without living together, we mutually decided that we don’t want to live together before we’re married. Part of this is because of religion and our families…but mostly it’s just that we want to experience some sort of change after the wedding. We’ve been dating for so long that it’s always fun to have some positive change in the dynamic of the relationship.

And I have no doubt that moving in together is going to be a positive experience for us. I know that there will most likely be changes and issues we’ll need to work through, but that is going to be true for any change in the relationship (babies, anyone?), and changes throughout our lives together are going to be unavoidable. Might as well practice compromising early, right? The one thing I do know is that there isn’t a single problem that we’ll face that we won’t be able to solve. We spend so much time together that sometimes it feels like we could be living together anyway…I’m just ready for it to be real!

What changes are you expecting once you tie the knot?