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It took quite a while to decide who would marry us. We knew it wouldn’t be anyone affiliated with a religion, as we want a secular ceremony. Once we had made that decision, I completely stopped caring about this (extremely important) detail for months.
Finally, a friend mentioned how awesome it would be if someone we knew married us, since we had no other requirements of our officiant. I realized this would be amazing. We could have a truly personal ceremony, led by someone who has known us our entire relationship.
Thrilled with the idea, I talked it over with Mr. Elk who also seemed excited (though a little apprehensive at first). Mama Elk was a whole other story. For whatever reason, even though Mr Elk and I are mature enough to be GETTING MARRIED, our friends are not mature enough to marry us. Yes, there is no logic in this at all, I understand. Mama Elk really preferred a Justice of the Peace, and even threw out the idea of having one of her best friends marry us (who has never met Mr Elk).
Mr Elk and I were frustrated—we both felt like it was OUR wedding ceremony, and we wanted it to be personal for us, not her.
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Both of my parents liked Mr. Mole from the very beginning. They liked him for the same reasons that I did: he is incredibly caring, considerate, and supportive (plus a whole long list of other admirable qualities). Of course, they also liked him because he made me happy. Yet during the holidays, I was able to see how much they love him — and not just as my future husband but as their own son.
Seeing this subtle shift in the relationships between Mr. Mole and my parents made me think about the way that the relationship between Mr. Mole and me is about to change. Now, I know that to some extent that a legal marriage is no more than paperwork. I can’t imagine that I will love Mr. Mole any more just because I signed my name to the marriage license. I can’t imagine that either of us will change in the way we act, talk, sleep, eat, do the dishes, etc., now that we are called husband or wife. Nothing fundamental will change. But I also have to acknowledge that there is a great deal of symbolic value tied up in these legal categories (something that just makes the bans of gay marriage in many states and countries even more problematic and unfair). This symbolism may very well affect the way that we feel or think about ourselves as a couple.
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The other night, we were at dinner with Mr. Dalmatian’s coworkers discussing marketing (this is what happens when you attend the office holiday party of a start-up company) when one of them commented that if you put a bird on something, girls will buy it. This made me laugh because as I thought about my personal experience and quickly realized: It’s funny because it’s true. This point seems particularly poignant when it comes to weddings. I am quite confident that I am not the only bride who is drawn to anything with a these feathered, winged, bipedal, endothermic, egg-laying, vertebrate animal (definition of bird via Wikipedia.com). Perhaps it is because we ourselves feel like little lovebirds.
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| Image via LilyBelleEvents.blogspot.com |
Perhaps it is because birds look so dapper in bowties.
There are two dress brides and two shoe brides, but I was lucky enough to be a two shower bride! Due to travel schedules during the winter, Mr. Turkey’s cousins were kind enough to throw me a bridal shower this fall (that is why we registered so early).
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| How beautiful are these invitations? |
I was very excited about this event, but also a little nervous*. Despite my years performing in front of people, for some reason, in smaller settings, when I’m the center of attention, I get super nervous.
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Featured on Weddingbee
All-Inclusion Invitation Suites
“Make an elegant invitation statement without the fuss. Stylish invitation sets with matching envelopes, reception and response cards included.”
Having grown up with a devoutly religious mother, the wedding scenes I imagined as a child were all inside the church I visited every Sunday. As my identity developed in my 20s, my relationship with that church evolved and I no longer felt compelled to get married in it. I moved away and was exposed to more belief systems as a result. I remember taking the “Belief-o-matic” quiz and reading a lot on ReligiousTolerance.org during that period and was surprised by some of what I learned. Meanwhile, Mr. Mink grew up going to church occasionally, but didn’t feel a connection to a particular sect as an adult.
When we started to talk about finding an officiant for our wedding, Mr. Mink suggested a friend of his who got ordained online a while back. At the time, I didn’t know the friend very well and the idea wasn’t all that appealing. I was much more hopeful that a wonderful neighbor who was serving as an interim pastor for a church in town would be part of our day.
Image from the Charlottesville Wedding Blog / Photo by Anne & Bill Holland of Holland Photo Arts
This is the final installment of our bee blogger ornament exchange! It was so fun to see the incredibly creative ornaments the bees came up with this year!
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Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
What is the number one rule of wedding planning? Any wedding planner will tell you: “STICK TO YOUR BUDGET!”
Well…we didn’t set a budget.
Canada’s New PLASTIC money! / Image via The Huffington Post
This may have been due to our naivety about how much a wedding really costs, and because we had set ideas about what sort of vendors we wanted to work with and what details we wanted at the wedding. I also planned to DIY a ton of stuff for the wedding, so I really didn’t know how much everything would cost. When we were looking for a venue and photographer, we had a few thousand bucks saved up as a couple, so we were all set (and then some!) for vendor deposits. We then made a savings plan that required both of us to save up a certain amount each month. With that plan intact, we would be able to pay for everything (we thought).
MexiRicanWed is selling a Melissa Sweet “Pearl” wedding gown. Make an offer on the size-10 dress.
Have a wedding item for sale? Post it with pictures in the Weddingbee Classifieds, and you might see it featured on the blog!
Other great items for sale:
See what I did there? Ha. I’m such a nerd.
Mr. Opossum wants to be very involved in planning this wedding. A few nights after he proposed, he asked me what he was responsible for in the wedding-planning process. All I gotta say is I love a groom that gets involved! He has some strong opinions…like the fact that he was 100% opposed to a summer affair, but then he isn’t as picky about most of the design decisions (which is great because that is my forte).
One decision he knew NOTHING about was photography. He told me I got free rein on that one. And even though I am super-duper picky about photography (yes, I’m a photography snob), that decision wasn’t hard for me either.
I’ve taken a sort of “stand,” if you will, about the types of vendors I’m choosing to work with, and the photographers I’ve chosen fit the mold perfectly. I know they’re fantastic because they are friends of friends…awesome friends that are really good people and would only be friends with other really good people. Plus, they’ve already managed to work with me in so many ways (even during the booking process) that have made my life SO. MUCH. EASIER. (If you’re reading this, thank you!)
Where we will actually be standing for our ceremony is pretty bland, aside from the surrounding scenery of a frozen lake and *hopefully* snow covered landscape, so this is where my dreams of a handmade arch came into play. For our wedding arch, we wanted something natural and rustic, to complement the outdoor winter setting. Aspen trees are plentiful in our part of Colorado, and to us, are the perfect winter tree. The white bark is beautiful all by itself, even without the foliage to complement it.
Every year we go out into the National Forest surrounding Durango, hand-pick, and then chop down our Christmas tree. It’s a tradition I’ve participated in with my family for years and years, and now that I have Mr. Honey by my side, it makes the tradition even more special. This year, in addition to the Ponderosa Pine we would be chopping down, we added Aspen trees to list. We bought a permit for $22 which allowed us to cut 20 Aspens down. This not only provided enough trunks to hand build our arch, but we helped thin out our forests, too. Yay for preventing forest fires!
My dad happens to be the most handy, creative man I know. He can build anything, fix anything, and tends to go big when doing so. I left this project in my dad’s very capable hands, after showing him a couple pictures of what I was envisioning, similar to this:
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| Image via Elizabeth Anne Designs/Photo by Apertura Photo |
The bee ornament exchange continues! Check out these cuties!
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- I tracked down two dozen unicycle charms, hung them from a ring at different lengths with sparkly embroidery floss, and suspended them inside a glass ornament
For some reason, changing my name has been weighing on me more and more lately. I am a pretty traditional gal and never, ever considered doing anything else but take my husband’s name. It was a no-brainer for me. But for some reason, as of late the idea of losing my last name has started a bit of a mini-panic in me. Maybe it’s the thought that changing my name will no longer make me a member of my family, or maybe I worry that I won’t be “me.” I really can’t pinpoint it, and I’ve found these feelings to come completely out of left-field. I never in my life knew it would bother me, and it took me by surprise. So what to do?
Well Mr. Hawk is also very traditional and is not a big fan of us having different last names.
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Miss (almost Mrs.) Sunhat got me thinking the other day about our own winter wedding. We are getting married at the end of January, and our Milwaukee party is going to be in the beginning of February. We chose our wedding date because it is our third anniversary. What better way to celebrate that occasion besides getting married? (Sure beats a dinner and a movie!) We chose our hometown party date because it was convenient to our honeymoon plans.
Getting married in Vegas in January is not much different than getting married there in March or October. The temperatures tend to range from the upper 30s to the upper 50s. However, the weather in Milwaukee during this time is an entirely different beast. Want to see what it looked like outside there last February?
Well, someone loved it at least
abenyo and her husband wore coordinating black and red wedding shoes
Keep on loading your inspirational wedding pics to the Weddingbee Gallery to see them featured here on the blog! Remember, your images must be under 1MB in size, or they won’t load.
If your photo is featured as the Gallery of the Day, you’re eligible for a special Weddingbee badge for your blog or website! Check out instructions on how to grab the badge here!
Long ago, I revealed our Hawaiian rental treasures to the hive. I was pretty excited about staying at all three rental places, but I wasn’t expecting the awful amount of rain that we encountered during our stay in Hawaii. We made the best of the weather though, and here I am to report back about the quality of the rental homes in case you happen to be planning a honeymoon (or vacation) to the islands.
Nightly Rate: $98-110
When we arrived at the first house, the sun was setting and Mr. Funnel Cake raced out excitedly to see the ocean from the property.
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