I never felt old before I started reading wedding message boards and blogs. Age was never really something I thought about all that much. Perhaps it’s because my mother wore her age fairly proudly and never seemed obsessed with looking younger. People always seemed shocked to know her age. Her hair stylist seems convinced that she has a colorist because she’s still a redhead in her late 60s.
Working in academia has probably kept me young at heart. I’m surrounded by the energy and enthusiasm of students in the college bubble. Though I finished graduate school just over a decade ago, people still ask me what year I am as if I’m a student. I haven’t yet considered that a compliment, but I know there’s a time when I will.
Getting engaged at 33 felt just right. I considered myself a city girl before coming to Virginia and city dwellers (especially those in the northern cities) tend to marry a little later than others. I didn’t realize that in the world of wedding blogs and message boards, I’m old.
Image 1 from Style Me Pretty / Photo by Agnes Lopez Photography
Image 2 from Style Me Pretty / Photo by Mademoiselle Fiona
Image 3 from Style Me Pretty / Photo by Olive Juice Studios
Early on in my planning, I felt just fine about my age.
Everyone reading and commenting on wedding sites was in same process and I thought that would bind us together. Over time, however, I started to notice the pictures. I saw one stunning bride after another and as I looked at their amazing gowns and jewelry and hair, I also noticed their completely smooth complexions.
Now, I have a great skin, but at 34, I’m not without a line here and there. I started to think that there was no way I would look as beautiful in my wedding pictures. I’ll have the amazing dress and the pretty details, but I fear that I won’t have that youthful beauty that I see when I seek out wedding inspiration.
Image 1 from Style Me Pretty / Photo by Mirelle Carmichael Photography
Image 2 from Style Me Pretty / Photo by Brooke Courtney Photography
Image 3 from Style Me Pretty / Photo by Laurie Bailey Photography
So what’s a Mink to do? You buy wrinkle cream. I did a bit of research online and decided to start using the Olay Pro-X line and consider seeing a dermatologist to bump up to something stronger about three months before the wedding.
I started drinking more water, assuming that would help, but found articles from NPR and Real Simple that debunk that a bit. I’ll still drink water, but I’m not expecting it to be a fountain of youth.
Lastly, I decided to look through the portfolios of the makeup artists I’ve been considering to see if I can spot some brides who might be around my age. I’ve been looking at blog posts and inspiration shoots, but most of those feature women in their early 20s. I should probably be digging a little deeper. There are plenty of 30-something brides, but we don’t seem as prominent on the wedding blogs.
Image 1 from the Full Bouquet / Photo by Genevieve Leiper
Image 2 from Style Me Pretty / Photo by Jana Marie Photography
Image 3 from Green Wedding Shoes / Photo by Kate Headley
Mr. Mink thinks I’m being totally silly. He says I don’t need any of this stuff. My reasonable side knows that this is a short-lived feeling. That little voice of self-doubt remains.
Has anyone else felt more aware of their age while wedding planning? How have you dealt with it?
Yes I felt a bit weird about my age which was 36 when I was planning.
I did sometimes wish I was younger, but I look pretty good for my age and I’ve learned many things to enhance myself over the years.
Embrace your age.
Dress shopping was bad some places but not at others.
@kayakgirl73: I think dress shopping was okay because I went alone and went to upscale places. I’m guessing they see a greater percentage of “older” brides.
I can’t believe I wrote older! I’m not old! Bah!
All the brides on Style Me Pretty are in their early 20s, wealthy, and gorgeous. Of course they’re going to make us feel inadequate. Offbeat Bride is much more realistic, diverse, and achievable.
Oh my word, Mink, you look gorgeous! And I don’t even think about your age when I read your posts or see pics of you! If it makes you feel any better, I often feel like I’m too young to already be married at 25. It’s mostly because I never saw myself as that woman who would be married at 25, and I kind of can’t believe that I am. But that’s life–you meet your person when you meet your person, and then you get married. 
I will be 30 this year, and although I know that’s a couple of years younger, I was surprised a couple of years ago when my friends started getting married. I was in no rush, and was very happy (now) fiance and our relationship.
I did have a friend from TX ask me why I didn’t give FI an ultimatum, and I was certainly taken aback. There really is a difference in average marriage age in different regions of the country, and the past year or so has definitely made me aware of that! Sometimes I still feel like an “old” bride, but I have to remind myself that I’m at the lower end of the age range for most urban areas (DC). I can’t imagine getting married earlier – that wouldn’t have been right for me!
I don’t have much to offer other than the fact that I know *exactly* where you’re coming from. As in, I was 33 when Mr. Lox and I tied the knot. So my pictures may not be overly reassuring since I’m a bit of a chub ( 
) but you’re not all alone.
One more thing to remember… you may have a line or two or even a spot here or there. (I know I most certainly do, and I’ve been using wrinkle stuff every day since I was 25.) But those are part of you. They speak to your life and your experiences, and who you are. Eventually we all have those things on us somewhere. They’re not so much battle scars as personality. Your Mr. doesn’t see them when he looks at you because he sees *you*… all of you. Not lines and spots.
But yeah, I feel old sometimes too.
@oatmealpie: I feel like Weddingbee has a pretty good range. Offbeat is nice, but it’s a little more alternative than my tastes run these days. I like the aesthetic of Style Me Pretty…they just need a few more 30+ brides.
I got married at 34 (just a couple weeks shy of 35)…here is my sneak peak photos of another “old gal” age is nothing but a number and your self confidence and joy will definitely come thru in the pictures…and i’m proud of my “laugh lines”…that has meant that i’ve had a HAPPY life! http://melissalinellis.com/blog/anna-jeremy-said-i-do/
@Mrs. Parasol: Aw, thanks, Mrs. P! You seem far more mature than I was at 25!
@hoogirl05: I’m with you. I remember a slew of college friends getting married when I was 22-26. I have friends who have been settled in the suburbs for over ten years now. It’s hard for me to believe because I’ve moved around a bit. I’m happy to have been a city girl in my 20s. It was the right thing for me. An “ultimatum” is not my style at all.
@Mrs. Lox: I think my lines, which are on my forehead, are from worrying too much at times. I look back now and laugh at what seemed so troubling over the years. My life has been pretty great since meeting Mr. Mink, so it’s hard to identify with the worry wart from years ago.
I would totally just embrace your age. Any slight lines/wrinkles just denote your life experiences. I mean I think in the end when you look back, will you really want to look like twenty-x year old you and not the age you were when you got married? I mean I’m 28 and frankly 21 year me old may have been super cute, but she hadn’t experienced and learned a lot of things that brought me to this point with this man. I think it is more about being uniquely you at whatever age you are when you get married, than worrying about looking as young as someone on a wedding blog. Frankly, these days you never know if/how much a photo has been airbrushed, so it might not even be something that you could naturally achieve.
@Miss Tiger: Your pictures are stunning (and I just pinned your husband’s bout into my pinterest files because I LOVE your flowers!). Thanks for sharing them!
Hugs to the over 30 crowd!
I’m pretty young, so I have the opposite: people keep telling me I’m too young to get married.
Don’t feel bad about the wrinkle cream – I’m 22 and I use it daily. The best fight for wrinkles is moisture.
And by the way – you don’t look your age a bit. You have great skin and you look a lot younger than you are. Don’t worry!
I’m 22, and my parents are acting like their 8yr old just told them she wants to get married. At the boards sometimes I feel like the silly girl playing wedding surrounded by mature brides.
I get flabbergasthed sometimes when I see a girl planning her wedding wHo S!LL Typ3s L!k3 ThIs (that was painful), but as far as I know they’re mature enough to get married so to each their own, we can only hope they’ll last more than 72 days.
Marriage’s not age dependant, someone might find their perfect match at 18 or 40, the thing is being mature and prepared for a marriag, not a wedding.
I had a moment of worry after the Royal Wedding because Kate Middleton looked just so perfect and I’m sure we all have similar moments in the planning about our looks over one thing or another. But the truth is, that smile on your will be the most gorgeous thing and what actually matters.
I hear you! Particularly on the urban northern brides getting married later. Almost 32 at engagement, I’ll be almost 33 at wedding date. I was shocked to see so many young brides on these boards – I thought it was just my sibs who married in their very early twenties.
But you know what? I’m not going to hide it. I’m ok with my age and I think that I want to look like ME on wedding day. I don’t want to look like a young dewy-eyed bride because I didn’t want to be that bride, and I’m not going to try to pretend otherwise.
That said…I still intend to find myself a makeup artist! I want to look like me – but the best version of it!
1. You are not old… not even close.
2. I understand feeling a certain way about your age… many times throughout this planning process I’ve felt super duper YOUNG (which I kind of am, but oh well).
3. While you’re worried about fine lines I’m stressing about possible acne, so I guess every bride has some sort of “flaw” that they worry about emerging in their pictures.
I married last year, at 28 – ‘old’ among many of my friends and family, who married in their *very* early 20s. I’ve got my share of things I don’t like about my face/skin, and I’ve always looked older than I am. A good wedding-day makeup artist can do wonders! Don’t stress about trying to look a certain age, or trying to look younger than you are. It’s the years you’ve lived and the experiences you’ve had living them that have brought you to where you are today – about to marry your guy, at the time that is right for you.
You are SO NOT old. I was really thrown off by all these 20-somethings getting married when I first got into wedding blogs. Granted I was 25 when we got engaged, but I’m not even sure how that happened either. Like Parasol, I didn’t think I would get married this young. Being from NYC my friends and I- the married ones- in our early (or I guess mid, now) 20s are kinda not the norm. It happens when it happens and age is just a number. It’s how you feel that matters anywho. =)
@Miss Tiger: I just fell in LOVE with your wedding! Your dress made my jaw drop! And I love the shout out to Juno. So gorgeous!
Also, Miss Mink, you are an incrediably vibrant woman. It is so bizarre that girls are getting married at such a young age. (um hello outrageous divorce rate!?) I myself am getting married at 25 and I can’t really fathom it. I feel mature enough but I still can’t believe this is happening already. And Style Me Pretty is indeed very aesthetically pleasing, but I often find it hard to believe that those are even real people.
Mrs. Mink, Charlottesville, Virginia Age and Occupation: 34, College Administrator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 40, Craft Beer Consultant Engagement Date: November 26, 2010 Wedding Date: June 2012 Venue: Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards About Me: I left a pre-war brownstone in Boston six years ago to live in a funky, Southern city where Thomas Jefferson, Dave Matthews, and urban chicken keepers enjoy equal social standing. I still love my Patriots and Red Sox, but have fallen in love with Virginia. I work in education and specialize in integrating technology into my work to improve the student experience. I’m a diehard blogger, animal lover, jamband follower, and DIYer. I paint to relax and have transferred by energy from home projects to wedding projects in recent months. When Mr. Mink and I started talking about marriage, we knew our wedding would be outdoors, that my golden retriever would be part of the day, and that the music would be fantastic. We’ve taken a few risks during our planning process and we’ve been enjoying the process immensely!
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