Not about Bossyboots! I am dramatic, but not that dramatic.
My fiance and I have been wedding planning for about a year now. In Wedding World, there is a major emphasis on making choices based on how your photos will look. “If you do XX, it’ll look great in photos.” “Choose XX color, it’ll look great in photos.” “That just won’t photograph well; don’t do it.”
Mmmmm, ok? 
Bossyboots works in lighting, I work in media—we care about what things look like. We have educated opinions. However… making choices about an incredibly important day based on what looks good in photos feels no bueno to me. Many of our wedding choices WILL look great in photos, but I don’t want to make a wedding choice purely because it’ll photograph well. For example, I already tried a makeup look that was geared towards photos, and it made me feel like a cakeface. This look suits me much better.
For a long time, I definitely was in the “do-things-for-photos” camp. Well, (Bossyboots, cover your ears) I was wrong. This is our wedding. We love each other—that’s what this is about.
When I think about the intention for our wedding, it’s not to create a magazine article. We’re not having a wedding in order to create a fashion show. We’re having a wedding because some things in life are worth celebrating.
This is our Wedding Intention:
My makeup isn’t geared towards photographs. We aren’t doing a First Look. We chose flowers that are beautiful and make us feel good. We geared our budget to food that will make our guests happy. We chose a photographer who is a spectacular photojournalist.
On the flip side… my wedding shoes WILL look pretty fun in photographs. 
I guess what I’m getting to is… many people tell us brides and grooms to make wedding choices based on the exterior or superficial factors. Bossyboots and I will definitely have a gorgeous set of photos by which to remember our day—but it will be a legit day, not faked in any way. Life isn’t a magazine, it’s a series of special moments, and I don’t want to sacrifice something special so that I could “get THAT photo.”
Are you struggling with making these sorts of decisions? How are you handling it?
HOORAY no first look! So glad to hear this–I’m so tired of people doing first looks. When your almost-husband sees you for the first time as you walk down the aisle to him…well, it’s indescribable.
I know what you mean, I think as brides we alll go through that “pretty for pictures” stage. Luckly most of us snap out of it in time.
Thanks for such a thoughtful post- couldn’t agree with you more!! I am a person who rarely takes photos because I don’t want to ruin the moment or only remember it because of a photo. I do love looking through pictures later on (and I love our photographer), but I want to live in the moment during my wedding- rather than make it about photos every minute of the day.
Love this post! I am not much of a photo person anyhow, so I do not want to be thinking through this entire planning process about what will look good later. I too just want to celebrate with friends and family in a way to feels right.
I totally agree! I am gald that there are others who see things this way too! It is your wedding not a runway show. We are not doing a first look either – the emotion and tradition are more important than photos, we are also not missing our cocktail hour to go take photos – we have instructed our photographers just to take pics as things happen and that is good enough. I wold hate to remember my wedding day as a series of poses!!
I totally agree! I am glad that there are others who see things this way too! It is your wedding not a runway show. We are not doing a first look either – the emotion and tradition are more important than photos, we are also not missing our cocktail hour to go take photos – we have instructed our photographers just to take pics as things happen and that is good enough. I wold hate to remember my wedding day as a series of poses!!
THank you. I keep feeling kid of bad that we didn’t do a first look so that we could have had more time to take pics. THe crazy thing is, I don’t even like first look photos- i think it’s kind of silly looking to be sneaking up on the groom to tap him on the shoulder- we don’t do that in real life. It was really important to both of us that the first look be from opposite ends of the aisle. And so to hear you say that, it reminds me that we made the right choice.
I think its great your sticking to your guns! When I commented on your last post that you should wear more makeup to show up in photos better, I was saying it because I thought you wanted that. I’m sorry if you took it the wrong way!
Word. People keep giving me crap because “maroon and orange don’t match.” Too damn bad.
A touch of extra make up for the special day can go a long way (liner/extra blush) not only for pics but to go with the formality of wearing a wedding gown! But I see some brides get really done up for the purposes of photos and they look like newscasters! 
We did a rather quick first look and it was a great grounding time for me and my husband and kept us down to a one hour cocktail hour between ceremony and reception. I’m glad we did it because it was a nice experience, but those pics are not that special to me. (I prefer us coming down the isle or cutting the cake.) Maybe consider doing a first look if the alternative is making your guests wait while you trounce around town for a photo shoot….otherwise, they aren’t an important tradition or anything, IMHO
Anyways, to the main point, I have always said that weddings are not photo ops! Keep it real–take some pressure off! 
Amen! I will admit I am a crazy photo person, but sometimes I need to be reminded to step back and really appreciate what this is about. Thanks for the reminder!
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Mrs. Snapdragon, Chicago/Dallas Age and Occupation: 32,Associate Producer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Lighting Designer Blogging Since: November 14, 2008 Engagement Date: January 1, 2011 Wedding Date: March 2012 Venue: Marie Gabrielle About Me: Voracious reader of short stories, Russian literature, National Geographic and Cosmo. I'm a GENIUS at spicing up Weight Watchers recipes and a pathological cheater at board games. I run a slow marathon, but my feet are learning to move faster. Mornings aren't my thing, but I can night owl with the best of them. Don't tempt me with your Cherry Cokes---I'm trying to quit. Tomorrow. Or never.
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