Along with the invite design, Lil’ Boa worked on a card that would inform our guests about the dress code, the reception, the website and gifts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know what you’re thinking. Putting registry information on the invitation is rude and just plain wrong.
It wasn’t until I entered the wedding blogosphere that I learned this was an etiquette no-no. Even more of a no-no is asking for money on the invitation, which is exactly what we will be doing. I should explain that in my 22+ years of attending weddings (more than 30 so far) I have never NOT seen a request for money on a wedding invitation. Most of them had a message stating that gifts were not necessary but if the guest insists, the couple prefers to receive money.
Imagine my surprise when I learned some people could be offended by such a statement, to the extent of not attending the wedding! Further Internet research revealed that the “Don’t ask for money” rule is mainly part of American wedding etiquette. Wedding gifts in some European and Asian countries are expected to be monetary and in those cultures it is perfectly acceptable to state it on the invite. I guess you can add Puerto Rico to that list, since as far as I know, asking for money on the invitation is the norm.
On the other hand, if a bride ask for gifts from a registry, all hell will be upon her.
There is only one Macy’s, one Bed, Bath and Beyond and one Pottery Barn for the 3 million inhabitants on the island. These stores are all close to the capital, San Juan, which is 3 hours from my hometown. I don’t think anybody would be particularly happy to drive hours to buy a place setting or a blender from one of these chain stores and Internet shopping is not popular with the older generation.
What cultural differences have you learned about during the wedding planning? Would you ask for money on your wedding invitation? How would you react you received an invitation specifying money as a gift?
Totally agree, do what is right for you! Gifts = $$$, so how is it any different exactly?
I received an invitation that requested money. i did not give it to them I just considered it a request not a demand. No biggy. Most of the time your family members will honor it without hesitation. I would create a site for what you are trying to raise the money for. For instance, the Marriott lets your guest contribute money towards your honeymoon. If your guest feel like they are helping you with something it may not seem as bad.
In the end do not worry about what people are going to give you. Let them celebrate your day as they please. You can always take unwanted gifts back. Happy Planning!
Add Mexico to the list. Here peoploe registers but in my city there’s only one department stores that offers registry and is crazy expensive, even then almost every couple registers there. The money thing is the new vouge here and some family members have mentioned how easy it is, not braking your head thinking what to give the couple, not having to go out and buy something, and it’s something you know they will use.
Sometimes is confusing how so many brides label it as something outrageous, it’s a cultural thing.
Actually its okay to put your registry info with your invite. All of the invites that I have ever gotten throughout the years always had that info included. Im not offend at all about it. And Im glad it was included. I dont want to be searching for where the couple is registered,asking the couple,etc,etc. Its not rude, its helpful. And if I got an invite that asked for money, Im glad they said that instead of putting nothing down. Id rather them be honest then give them something they dont want ot need.
But no matter what, do what you think is right for you and your spouse. Who cares if people get offended. People need to get off their high horses. 
Eeek.. I would not ask for money on my invitation! If I got an invitation like that I would find it pretty rude..then again I WANT people to give us money, not gifts 
We just registered at Target (basic things we need for the house). We already live together so we dont need much so we really didnt register for much. I’m hoping most people will see the small register list and just give cash instead!
I know in Asian cultures money is usually given in an envelope, and given directly to bride and groom not on a card table. Bringing a gift is almost unheard of. Yea for us! Because I don’t really want to pack everything back home after our weekend of wedding events. But I still haven’t heard of asking for it. It just is kind of a known thing.
I agree, in the US it would probably be considered rude to ask for money, and definitely to put anything about gifts on the invitations. That is usually spread by word of mouth. It would be nice to be able to ask for money, though! It’s what many people want and need, so it’s nice to not have to beat around the bush! I love learning about cultural differences like that!
We did not explicitly ask for cash but we did get a lot of it for our wedding! It was much appreciated
Great post! I enjoyed reading about the differences in the US compared to other places! I personally wish we could just say cash please here. For our wedding, my favorite gifts were the cash ones, so from now on, all of my wedding presents will be in the cash form.
That’s so interesting! I didn’t know it was an American phenomenon. I guess it all comes down to that people you’re inviting and what their norms are. As they say, when in Rome… Thanks for sharing!
This post has been so reassuring! I was also baffled by the internet’s “no registry info” rule, and it made me feel very insecure about what to do with my invites.
I think it may be taboo in the US because they seem to already receive gifts in bridal showers and engagement parties. In Puerto Rico the reception is really the only formal event in which guests contribute to the couple’s happy future, so everyone’s just happy to know what they should bring.
We registered our honeymoon which is equivalent to getting cash from guests I think.. we each own our own homes so we definitely didn’t want an additional toaster =) I don’t think it’s rude including it in your invite but we just have the registry info in our wedding website.
I don’t understand why asking for what you need and want, whether it be money or gifts, is considered rude, but I didn’t put anything on our invitations. It just seems silly, yet most people still follow these traditions, including me.
I talked a lot with my family and with my husband’s family about this before we sent out invites and they all honestly thought that not including something about where we’re registered with invitations would be inconvenient to all our family members (especially the ones without internet access) who would then have to expend extra effort to track everything down and figure it out themselves. I personally don’t really like the statement about money on the invitation itself, but if you included it on a details card with a bunch of other wedding details I don’t see a problem with that at all.
Great post! It’s so interesting to see what is acceptable and not acceptable in other cultures!
Yes – we suggested money as our preferred gift in our invitation, but not before Weddingbee threw me into a worry-spin about it being a ‘no-no’… we are in Australia and everyone includes a ‘gift preferences’ section in their invitations here. I am yet to see anyone register at a store at any of the weddings we’ve attended (although I’m sure it’s occassionally done).
I’m always surprised by the many bridal showers/kitchen teas etc. that is in the American custom. Here we only receive presents at the wedding, and at the engagement party if you choose to have one (we didn’t)
I’m in Bolivia and here it’s common (well, now it is) to include a card with the place(s) you’re registered for your wedding gifts. I haven’t heard about an invitation asking for money… but sometimes relatives give you money as a gift.
Mrs. Boa Constrictor, Isabela, Puerto Rico Age and Occupation: 22, Undergraduate Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 23, Soon-to-be Civil Engineer Engagement Date: May 19, 2011 Wedding Date: May 2012 Venue: El Faro Convention Center About Me: I’m a Caribbean gal, born and bred on the beautiful island of Puerto Rico, finishing her last year as an undergrad. I describe myself as a “closet nerd” as I secretly enjoy reading research papers, playing video games, and geeking out on Lord of the Rings movie marathons. I will marry my college sweetheart, a soon-to-be civil engineer, who loves Legos and old-school Puerto Rican cooking. This is sure to be a fast-paced year with our wedding, honeymoon, college graduation, new jobs, and a cross-country move all within less than 30 days of each other!
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