To What Song Shall We Dance?

This post could also be titled “The Second Most Difficult Wedding Decision” (next to the guest list).

Since we didn’t have a song that was “ours,” we were starting from scratch. And it was a rouuuuuuugh process. Almost every song that I suggested to Mr. Turkey as a first dance song was either:

A) “Too girly”: Seemed to translate to anything sung by Michael Buble

B) “Too common”: Anything by any artist our parents would know

C) “Too sappy”: Vague term used to capture anything that didn’t fall into A or B

Honestly, if I left the first dance up to him, we may have started our life as Mr. and Mrs. dancing seventh grade swaying rocking out to AC/DC. Awesome.

With my initial failed attempts, I clearly needed a different approach.

I’ll back up. I’m a big country music fan. In fact, I think I’ve been to a country concert with every member of my bridal party except Bridesmaid D.

Sunday in the Country concert – throwback photo with Bridesmaid B (2005)

Country Fest in NY with Cousin C – crazy humid day that turned into Mud Fest later (2005)
Tailgating for Kenny Chesney (2009) – Bridesmaid M, MOH J, me, Bridesmaid C

Despite my love, I originally left country music out of the picture since I thought for sure Mr. Turkey would find a category D for those songs (“too hokey”? “too hillbilly”?). However, in July, we attended his Cousin L’s wedding and the couple’s first song was “Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not” by Thompson Square. Mr. Turkey later made mention of how much he liked the song (more specifically, its lyrics). A country song, mind you.

And, with that, I had my new first dance song approach—starting with fun lyrics that would have meaning to us but not be too sappy (see C above). Below are the top 5 songs I presented to Mr. Turkey (along with those lyrics that resonated). Note the lean towards country (win!).

“You” by Chris Young

“Got a whole new direction it seems these days

I used to rush off to work and get home late

But now I show up late and rush back home

My priorities are different, I can’t leave you alone”

“I Hope That’s Me” – Brad Paisley

“Somebody’s gonna buy a ring,

Somebody’s gonna make you cry,

Somebody’s gonna lift that veil,

And get to look into your eyes,

And I hope that’s me, I hope that’s me”

“Alright” by Darius Rucker

“Don’t need no five star reservations

I’ve got spaghetti and a cheap bottle of wine

Don’t need no concert in the city

I’ve got a stereo and the best of Patsy Cline

Ain’t got no caviar no Dom Perignon

But as far as I can see, I’ve got everything I want”

“Makin’ Plans” by Miranda Lambert

“We can go on and on

Won’t ever feel too long

I’ll always call you home

And we’ll go on and on”

“Lucky” (the Glee version)

“I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again”

Yes, some of the songs are more popular than others, but, unlike my original approach, these were not immediately rejected. We’ll save the reveal of our first dance song until the recaps, but I can promise you our final choice is among this top 5 and that Mr. Turkey made the ultimate decision.

I, now, will be listening to the song on repeat until May so that I’m numb when it plays on our wedding day (very fearful of unleashing the waterworks).

How did you choose your first dance song?


Mrs. Turkey

Wedding Date:
May 2012
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  1. Member
    totheislnds 7804 posts, Bumble Beekeeper @ 1:06 pm

    I love country music too and I WISH “are you gonna kiss me or not” had come out before my wedding. We danced to kenny chesney’s “me and you”. def sappy! haha

  2. Member
    amethystmeg 235 posts, Helper bee @ 1:12 pm

    Wow I feel the same as you. We couldn’t agree on anything. I realized I needed to let him pick the song because it was the only way we would both feel good about it! Ours is probably going to be country as well. :)

  3. Member
    MrsKeAloha 1044 posts, Bumble bee @ 1:22 pm

    Thank you for posting this – I thought my fiance was the only one who rejected every first dance song.
    We are not the sweet slow 6th grade sway dance type, so I wanted something that was a little twirly and upbeat. We also have an accoustic guitarist who will be playing and singing our song – if we ever find one…
    He suggested we play “our” song. Except our song was “our deployment song” it is what got me through missing him and helped me be stronger during those times. Although a beautiful song, with lots of sentiment. I want something to celebrate and smile and focuses on all that is in front of us. Eek.. Help… :-)

  4. Guest Icon Guest
    maggieg, Guest @ 1:24 pm

    Our first dance song was an easy one to choose. I recently fell in love with Michael Bolton (lame, I get it) and so I decided to expand my collection by buying his greatest hits (circa 1985 – a/k/a the year of my birth). FI and I played “I Promise You” on repeat for months. When he proposed, part of his speech were lyrics to that song so it was a natural choice for our first dance. Hope I can keep it together!

  5. aardvark Member
    aardvark 1129 posts, Bumble bee @ 1:27 pm

    We were thissss close to having “You Move Me” by Garth Brooks. I too am a big country fan.

  6. honey Member
    honey 1684 posts, Bumble bee @ 1:33 pm

    Yay country music!! All great choices, can’t wait to see what you ended up with…we couldn’t decide between 2 and it came down to the wire with minutes to spare, no joke :)

  7. Member
    jessm10 194 posts, Blushing bee @ 1:39 pm

    I am a huge country music fan and I love all of your choices!

  8. mspony Member
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 2:20 pm

    I wish Mr. P like country music, it would have been much easier to find a song because there are so many great songs with great lyrics.

  9. Guest Icon Guest
    Mrs.K, Guest @ 2:39 pm

    Yay, Country! We went with Blake Shelton’s “Nobody But Me”… my husband used to sing it to me when it first came out.

  10. Member
    miss.sarah 49 posts, Newbee @ 2:49 pm

    We are having the same trouble finding a song because we don’t have an “our” song. But this has given me renewed hope in finding something that suits us :)

  11. turkey Member
    turkey 654 posts, Busy bee @ 2:56 pm

    @totheislnds: I love Kenny – great song. “Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not” is so cute – and underused!

    @amethystmeg: Hope he picks a great song for you. Guys are so hard, aren’t they (and about things you wouldn’t think)?

    @Miss Ke Aloha: Tough call…maybe you could play your deployment song for a bit and then transition into a new song for you both? I agree, we’re not good at dancing so wanted something we could have fun with!

    @maggieg: Great song. Like how there’s extra meaning for you both.

    @Miss Aardvark: Oh Garth…

  12. turkey Member
    turkey 654 posts, Busy bee @ 3:00 pm

    @Mrs. Honey: We would have likely been a last minute couple too, but our band has a document we have to fill out and submit 45 days beforehand!

    @JessM10: Thanks! A lot of country fans around here it seems!

    @Mrs. Pony: Maybe he’ll come around someday (too late for the wedding, though). Mr. Turkey just finally became open to the idea.

    @Mrs.K: Fantastic song. I am a HUGE Blake Shelton fan. Besides being talented, he’s hilarious.

    @miss.sarah: Good luck! You get to pick “your” song now :)

  13. Member
    anna4041 210 posts, Helper bee @ 4:45 pm

    Wooo Country! Miranda Lambert’s makin plans is going to be somewhere, I might walk down the aisle to it I love it that much. Almost all our music will be country since there is so much to pick from. We are having a guitarist play, so they will sound slightly different.

  14. coyote Member
    coyote 1930 posts, Buzzing bee @ 5:50 pm

    Can’t wait to see which one you chose. If it was up to Mr. C we would TOTALLY be rocking out to AC/DC for our first dance. 😀

  15. Guest Icon Guest
    adthaphon, Guest @ 8:58 pm

    I love music and dance. It’s very nice.

  16. bacon Member
    bacon 695 posts, Busy bee @ 9:19 pm

    “Too Sappy” was becoming my least favorite phrase on the PLANET when we were trying to find a first dance song!! Luckily, I managed to hoodwink him with a Star Wars reference and we were on to smooth sailing.

  17. Member
    Rhi 19 posts, Newbee @ 3:57 am

    Hmmm, we had our first dance all picked out (Sam Cooke – Wonderful World) but two friends of ourse had it at their wedding last month. Nightmare!! There will be many of the same guests at our wedding – can we have it too!? xx

  18. Member
    colli459 875 posts, Busy bee @ 5:24 am

    We’re still working on it. Love that you love country, though! FI is not big into lyrics. He’s a pretty serious hobby musician and is more into melodies. What’s worse is he can’t understand Brad Paisley…. I mean, legit cannot understand the words coming out of that man’s mouth and it makes me sad… Oh well… The search continues.

  19. Member
    hollyglasscock 19 posts, Newbee @ 6:18 am

    I love all these choices, as I also love country music. However, the other half is not so into it. I think we’re going to go with the acoustic version of Everlong by the Foo Fighters 😀

  20. Member
    Miss_Manda 301 posts, Helper bee @ 3:25 pm

    I think we have our song all picked out. I’m not hugely into music – strangely enough, since I’m a singer – so I don’t have a ton of favorite songs at my fingertips to suggest. I had thought through several ideas, but since sweetie’s and my tastes in music don’t overlap much, it was a case of “my songs” and “his songs.” Then, we were at a friend’s home one evening for dinner and mahjongg and she had the TV tuend to one of the satellite radio channels. A song came on that I had not heard much, though it sounded vaguely familiar, and the lyrics just went straight through me… I called sweetie’s attention to it, but only near the end. I wrote down the title and artist, and that night, I downloaded it from iTunes. When I played it for him he agreed, this was our song. Now if only I don’t second-guess myself/change my mind a hundred times during our 17 month engagement!

  21. turkey Member
    turkey 654 posts, Busy bee @ 5:47 pm

    @anna4041: Wow “Makin’ Plans” in acoustic guitar would be amazing!!

    @Miss Coyote: Gotta keep him in line :)

    @adthaphon: Thanks!

    @Mrs. Bacon: Haha must be in the groom-to-be handbook.

    @Rhi: Sure you can! You could also acknowledge those who had it as their song too by asking them to join you after a while on the dance floor if you wanted. Maybe could do something like bring on newly married couples and those married X years.

  22. turkey Member
    turkey 654 posts, Busy bee @ 5:50 pm

    @colli459: With his musical talent, I am sure you’ll end up with an amazing song. Sad he can’t understand Brad, though!

    @hollyglasscock: Wonderful selection!

    @Miss_Manda: Great story on how you chose your song. Wishing you luck on not second-guessing!

  23. Member
    Future Army Wife 2213 posts, Buzzing bee @ 6:49 pm

    How about “Then” by Brad Paisley? It’s country but very sweet!

  24. Guest Icon Guest
    Amie, Guest @ 8:38 pm

    Sunday in the Country is so much fun!!

    We picked our song based on a mutual love for music. He love The Cure, and I’m a sucker for covers. Luckily, The Watson Twins (who’ve also worked with Jenny Lewis and I loved it) did a great cover of Just Like Heaven, featured on True Blood season 1. It’s a slower, more “love song” version and when it came time to figure out the first dance issue it was almost a no-brainer it came to us so quickly.

  25. turkey Member
    turkey 654 posts, Busy bee @ 5:19 pm

    @Future Army Wife: I love that song, but, alas,it ended up being in the “B” category :(

    @Amie: Wonderful song!

  26. Member
    KYbride86 307 posts, Helper bee @ 6:47 am

    My fiance has chosen our first dance song himself and is keeping it a secret until the dance! We don’t really have a song that’s “ours,” so I can’t wait to hear what he’s picked! He’s very excited about it :)

  27. Guest Icon Guest
    Brittney, Guest @ 11:06 am

    Our first dance was to “Are you gonna kiss me or not” It was a given though, that was our song from the very beginning! I can’t wait to hear what y’all picked! All great songs!!

  28. Member
    Ms CH 132 posts, Blushing bee @ 1:48 am

    omg!!!!!!!! this exactly sums up my OH’s attitude. It was seriously draining me and we got nowhere. And you’ve just reminded me. WE have never disagreed on country! THANK YOU! And I do apologise but I’m gonna give him this very list to choose from. I hope it works because he gives EXACTLY the same sort of reasons for his refusals. OH THANK YOU! I’m so pleased :)

  29. Guest Icon Guest
    lyricsmv, Guest @ 4:32 pm

    I like “Alright” by Darius Rucker”. I bike Venice beach weekly, so nice place.

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