A few days ago the New York Times posted an article in their Weddings/Celebrations section titled “Talking Points.” The article consisted of a short list of questions that the author suggested couples discuss prior to marriage.
Some questions like, “to what extent are you willing to go to have a family, medically?” and, “will we share our credit reports with each other?” seemed to be pretty straightforward and something one might naturally discuss with their partner over the course of their relationship. There were also other questions I would have never considered such as, “what will we do if we find out our child has severe disabilities?” that seemed very valid. I had never thought to discuss something like that with Mr. Hawk, but I think it would be a great conversation to have.
Finding it thought provoking, I was about to hit the forward button to Mr. H. Then I came to the end of the list. “Should we have an exit strategy for the marriage, and if so, what would it be?”
I had a hard time stomaching this one, as it seemed so counterintuitive to me. I wouldn’t think most people go into something as serious as a marriage with an exit strategy. Is it like the saying, “prepare for the worst and hope for the best?” Maybe I thought this question was a way of dooming a relationship because I faithfully believe that Mr. H and I will make our marriage work. Is it pessimistic planning for the end or just a dash of harsh realism given current divorce rates? I couldn’t decide and am still having a hard time processing it.
What do y’all think? Is an exit strategy something to discuss prior to marriage? What other questions do you think should be discussed before tying the knot?