My First Full-Blown Meltdown

My first, and hopefully only meltdown.

For the first time this weekend I really regretted deciding to have a destination wedding. I realize that I have somewhat touched on this subject before, but I am writing this to be a completely open book. So far the planning process has been really easy and stress-free, but as the wedding gets closer, the real stuff is kicking in.

My aunt (the one whose veil I am using) has rheumatoid arthritis and has had some complications due to the disease lately. She has gotten numerous tests done, but they can’t figure out exactly what is wrong with her. She is so sad and disappointed that she will miss the wedding and I am so sad and disappointed that she wont be there. I completely understand why she can’t come, as no one likes to travel internationally when they aren’t feeling well. At the same time, I started regretting our decision to have a destination wedding.

On the other end of things, one of my bridesmaids dropped out of the wedding.

Yep, two weeks before the wedding she told me she won’t be coming after all. Although I was never fully convinced she was coming, it still sucks to know she won’t be there for sure.

Things have gotten better since hearing this disappointing news and my parents have reminded me that our wedding will be full of love no matter who is there. As we get closer I am getting really excited to be on the island and not have to think about anything for a while. Hopefully when I return I can come back and tell y’all that our wedding was amazing and I didn’t regret a thing. For now though, I have mixed feelings.

Have any of you had a destination wedding you regretted?

BLOGGER

Mrs. Petit Four

Location:
San Antonio/Isla Mujeres
Wedding Date:
March 2012

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  1. Member
    Miss_Manda 301 posts, Helper bee @ 12:21 pm

    I am so sorry to hear about your sad news, and glad you’re feeling a bit better. I think it’s really brave and important that you are sharing the hard stuff as well as the fun. Your honesty is helping other brides make our decisions about our own days. So thanks, and hope things are all hearts and flowers from here on!

  2. Member
    PrettyRoyalT 129 posts, Blushing bee @ 12:24 pm

    I don’t regret my decision, but I have gone through similar situations.
    Both sets of our grandparents probably won’t be traveling to our wedding. Our grandfathers have had strokes and traveling is difficult for them. I am my grandparent’s first grandchild to get married so I feel very bad.
    My fiance’s aunt and uncle both have Lupus and cannot travel since they need dialysis 3 times a week.
    Lastly, although she hasn’t officially dropped out yet, one of my bm’s is being pretty vague on her status of attending and I think she’s just scared to tell me flat out she can’t make it.

    But, remember there will be other big life events for you that these people will hopefully be able to be apart of. Also, they love you and will be happy as long as you are happy.

  3. Member
    paw 871 posts, Busy bee @ 12:59 pm

    Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings about a DW! I ended up going the DW route, and it was the right decision for us even though there are difficult things that come along with a DW.

    Also, I think it is important to remember that while it is not exactly the same, there are a lot of these same issues even if you were to have a wedding closer to home. Family members still become ill and cannot attend, and bridesmaids drop out of weddings for many reasons. I think it is easy to blame it on having a DW and question whether it was the right choice. I just think that even if you were having a wedding closer to home, you would probably still be having similar issues.

  4. Member
    ostrich 2402 posts, Buzzing bee @ 1:05 pm

    *HUGS*
    Deep Breaths
    You’re wedding will be out of this world.
    You will be SO HAPPY you had a destination wedding.
    Have a (big) glass of wine….and trust me.
    xoxo

  5. Member
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 1:08 pm

    Sorry things are so tough right now, I can imagine it’s upsetting to know people you love wont be able to come. Your wedding will be wonderful and full of love regardless. And two weeks, that’s so exciting!

  6. Guest Icon Guest
    Ms %252BPanda, Guest @ 1:10 pm

    Oh I feel your pain! We are not doing a destination wedding and we had a bridesmaid/groomsman couple in our wedding (both myself and the fiance were in their wedding). Bridesmaid backed out 2 months before the wedding, groomsman 1 month before the wedding. Now they live 1.5 hrs away and aren’t even attending …

  7. Member
    trailmix 6663 posts, Bee Keeper @ 1:31 pm

    I’m so sorry, Petitfour, I’d be pretty upset about both those things too!

  8. Member
    heather5743 1984 posts, Buzzing bee @ 1:58 pm

    Oh this seems just like what’s happening to me. And I think we have the same wedding date?

    One of my close aunts won’t be able to attend our wedding either. We’re having a destination wedding too. It’s still in the US, but it’s about 10 hours from our hometown. I was so heartbroken she wouldn’t be able to attend.

    While I haven’t had a BM drop out, one of our GM called last week and said he wouldn’t be able to make it to our wedding anymore. He gave some BS reason why. My FI asked him numerous times if he was sure he could do it, and he said yes, but then just cancelled the other day.

    So I know EXACTLY how you feel. I tried not to have a meltdown either, but telling us 2 weeks (16 days actually) before our wedding that you can’t make it is really inconsiderate and quite rude.

    I know your wedding will still be amazing. I can’t wait for recaps! :)

  9. Member
    honey 1684 posts, Bumble bee @ 2:13 pm

    Aw I’m so sorry about your aunt not feeling well and your BM dropping out…hang in there lady, your mom is right, it will all be amazing and perfect :)

  10. Member
    khutson 3 posts, Wannabee @ 2:51 pm

    Maybe try to set up a live video feed so your Aunt can watch the ceremony? Would probably be fairly easy if someone can bring a laptop with a webcam and if you have internet access!

  11. Member
    woodpecker 270 posts, Helper bee @ 2:54 pm

    Hugs! Your wedding WILL be amazing, and you will enjoy it. And then, when it’s over, you will get to relive all the amazing details when you show pictures and videos to your aunt :)

  12. Member
    petitfour 695 posts, Busy bee @ 4:47 pm

    @Mrs. Ostrich: Yes, I do believe a glass of wine is in order :)
    @paw: Very, very true. That’s a good point.@heather5743: We almost have the same date! Mine is the 13th (Random tuesday :)

  13. Member
    maggierose 632 posts, Busy bee @ 6:23 pm

    I TOTALLY understand you, and am in the same boat. We are having a DW in DR and I found out a few weeks ago my sister and brother-in-law have decided not to bring my four year old niece, who was supposed to be my flower girl. I had been dreaming about having her as my flower girl since the day she was born! I am really sad that when I look back on pictures of my special day, she won’t be in any of them – I love her like my own daughter so it breaks my heart.

    To top it off, my Maid of Honor also told me recently that she won’t be able to afford to come to the wedding. Even though she has known for almost a year and a half when it was and was excited about it from the get go. I am so mad and upset that people had so much time to plan and then just back out. Why not tell me at the beginning, I can’t be your MOH, or she can’t be your flower girl, then get my hopes up for a year and a half.

    I also had another close friend tell me she couldn’t afford to make it – and in the same e-mail tell me she was planning a trip to Bali because it was cheaper and she was ‘so upset’ about not being able to make my wedding so this side trip was to console herself.

    Sorry for the rant! I don’t regret our decision in the end. My FI has a lot of family in the DR so it made sense to do it there, for them. In the end, this wedding has made me realize who my real friends are and also taught me to just suck it up and it’s one day of our lives and the people that can be there we will have a blast with and those who can’t, it sucks, but hey, that’s life.

    Good luck with everything..

  14. Member
    JamJamAK 3 posts, Wannabee @ 8:00 pm

    It’s all a matter of what your priorities are. If having a beautiful wedding in an exotic location was your priority, then you have nothing to regret.

  15. Member
    porcupine 633 posts, Busy bee @ 6:47 am

    Ugh, weddings bring out a lot of suck. But, when it comes to the day, all that will be washed away. Sometimes I’m like BUH, I should have just done it in NY. I am definitely having my “I don’t want to do this anymoreeee (the wedding, not the marriage)” moments as it gets closer and more stressful. You will make it through! It will be amazing. All that matters is the two of you make it there. ;)

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