I’m a fan of tradition—family tradition, holiday tradition, wedding tradition, you name it. Following traditions makes me feel like I’m a part of something bigger than myself, like I’m a part of those generations upon generations of people who did it before me. However, sometimes traditions are outdated, meaningless, even downright offensive, and then it’s time to reevaluate them. There are some wedding traditions that fall into that category, which these Wizards will most definitely not be following.
1. Bride and groom not staying together the night before the wedding.
Uh, guys? We live together. We sleep in the same bed every night. It’s part of our everyday lives, and it would be downright silly for us to sleep separately just because it’s the night before our wedding. I don’t sleep very well without him there, and goodness knows I’m going to be having enough trouble falling asleep that night anyway. I don’t need anything else to complicate it. Plus, I’m so excited to share such an exciting moment with him—the night before our freakin’ wedding. Lying there trying to fall asleep, amazed at what we’re about to do, taking it all in, trying to wrap our brains around it. It’s crazy. It’s huge. We’re going to have a lot on our minds, and I don’t want to share that with anyone else but him.
2. Groom not seeing the bride until the aisle walk.
We are not going to wait until the aisle walk to reveal Bridal Miss Wizard to Mr. Wizard. We’re doing a first look instead. I originally didn’t really like the idea of a first look because I thought it would “ruin” the aisle walk, but after thinking about it, I just don’t want to share that huge moment of seeing each other for the first time with everyone else. Seeing each other for the first time as bride and groom is such an intimate, emotional, personal, big thing for me, and I’d rather it just be me and him. Plus, that way Mr. Wizard will actually get to take in my whole ensemble that I’ve worked so hard on, versus just getting a general impression of “Yup, she’s a bride—she’s wearing white and a veil” if he saw me for the first time walking down the aisle. And dammit, I feel pretty freakin’ beautiful in my wedding ensemble and I want him to appreciate every last detail.
3. Bouquet/garter toss.
This is a pretty common one to ix-nay these days, and we’re jumping on the bandwagon. I’ve never been keen to go up and catch the bouquet, and Mr. Wiz has never in his life gone to catch a garter. We don’t really have any single guests so I’m not sure who would go up to catch a bouquet or garter anyway. Plus, in case you hadn’t noticed from numbers 1 and 2, um, I’m kind of a private person. I don’t want Mr. Wizard all up in my business for everyone to see—that can happen later, just the two of us (TMI?).
4. Father/daughter and mother/son dance.
I’ll just level with you, here: neither Mr. Wizard nor I have particularly good relationships with our parents. They’re not terrible relationships by any means, but we both grew up as the types who never saw eye-to-eye with how our parents raised us. Now that we’re adults, we still don’t agree on our upbringings looking back, and our relationships with our parents are more…respectfully agreeing to disagree and regarding each other as adults, rather than “daddy’s girl”/”mama’s boy.” Dancing with them to sappy songs about parents and children growing up too fast just seemed out of character and made us both feel a little queasy, so we decided to cut it. My dad is fine with this as he hates to dance anyway, but I’m not sure how FMIL Wizard feels yet.
So that’s where we stand on the tradition front. What about you, hive? Do you find yourself cutting or changing certain traditions to better fit your personalities/beliefs?