Planning, Groom-Style

Mr. Dragon and I are, in many ways, opposites. I’m a capital-P Planner, while he’s more spontaneous. I worry about little details, but as long as the big picture looks OK he’s happy. Once I get an idea in my head I’ll fight for it, no matter how minute an issue it is. He’s more the unflappable type.

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Personal photo / Screwed up suspension one hour into a 10,000 kilometer trip? No biggie. Meanwhile, I sat on the ground eating granola bars and thinking about how I was surely going to die at some point on this journey.

When it comes to wedding planning, that plays out as follows: Mr. Dragon’s concern is that we, by the end of the day, are married, and our family can be there, and there will be beer and food, and people will have fun, and he won’t faint. My concern is all of that PLUS what kind of flowers we’re going to have, what the invitations will look like, how we will decorate the tent, on and on into eternity. I’m quite good at sweating the small stuff.

At first I tried involving Mr. Dragon in every wedding decision we had to make. It’s his wedding, too, after all, so I imagined he’d want to have a say. Turns out he doesn’t really understand a lot of the logistics of wedding planning, nor does he care. Dude couldn’t tell a dahlia from a daisy and that is not a problem for him.

We decided decor, flowers, and anything involving bridesmaids would be firmly in my territory. He wanted to dress the guys as he chose, which was fine by me. (I recently had a dream that all the dudes were wearing bright yellow suits, which Mr. Dragon took as a subconscious sign that I’m actually deep-down worried about the male style aspect of this shindig.) As a graphic designer he called dibs on invitation/save-the-date design, and I took on the task of researching photographers.

The who-plans-what method we eventually sorted out was that Mr. Dragon will have some specific tasks delegated to him, and I will handle the rest. When there are big decisions to be made (photographer, music, hotels) I will narrow down the options and present Mr. Dragon with a handful from which we can both choose.

Some grooms, from what I understand, are gung-ho and want to drive the wedding-planning bus. Some take a backseat for the whole ride. My groom is somewhere in the middle, and that works for both of us. The end result will hopefully be a personal, carefully planned wedding that is a reflection of both of us (with or without yellow suits).

How involved is your partner with major decisions?

BLOGGER

Mrs. Dragon

Location:
Sioux Lookout/Brockville, ON
Wedding Date:
September 2012
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  1. Guest Icon Guest
    Amanda, Guest @ 12:48 pm

    I originally thought that my groom was gonna be involved in every aspect of the wedding planning, but so far it’s been the opposite. Maybe as we get closer to the wedding or start to book things. I have to say I thought he’d be driving the bus! lol

  2. Member
    sn2bmrsmntgmry 1118 posts, Bumble bee @ 12:59 pm

    My groom and I sound just like you and your groom. He has actually said to me on more than one occasion that all he cares about is that at the end of the day we are married. He doesn’t get all wrapped up with the little things, like I do! He has been involved in the larger decisions such as venue and caterer, but that is because he is a GREAT researcher. Props to him for actually finding our venue. As for the photographer/dj he left that to me. I am the one sweating the small stuff…the flowers, favors, cutlery, linens and all other general decor issues. But if I press him for input he’ll oblige. It is working for us so far! When I get all wrapped up and stressed out he reminds me about what the day is really about and it calms me down.

  3. Member
    coyote 1564 posts, Bumble bee @ 1:01 pm

    Haha Mr. C is pretty similar. I usually do all the background research and provide him with 2 or 3 options and ask him if he has an opinion. It’s usually one of three responses: a) I don’t care. b) I like option “x”. c) I hate all of these, what on earth are you thinking?!

    Response c usually sends me over the edge. ;)

  4. Member
    Miss_Manda 301 posts, Helper bee @ 1:43 pm

    I always grew up with the stereotype that the guy wouldn’t care much about the details, it’s “the bride’s day,” etc. etc. Funnily enough, my groom completely doesn’t match these preconceived notions. He was happy/excited to go to the registry event with me and MOH at Crate and Barrel. He is a landscaper, so he has muchas opinions about flowers. He was married once before, so he has lots of “let’s do this / let’s NOT do that” input. He even has opinions about my dress! (Wants it white — where I am kinda tempted by all the pretty colored dresses…) I guess I can’t be too miffed by that last one, since I have MAJOR opinions about his outfit on the big day. Overall, it’s a total gift that we’re such partners… I know it’s all a part of the package of having found a guy who’s my partner in so many other aspects of my life, who’ll be a great and equal partner in parenting, and so on. But every once in a while I catch myself a little grumpy that I don’t just get to pick everything myself cause the groom “doesn’t care”. Not THIS groom!

  5. Member
    northmeetssouth 22 posts, Newbee @ 1:48 pm

    I laughed so hard at your photo caption! I think my Mr. and I have taken the approach you and Mr. D have; I have my tasks, he has his, we combine when important and necessary. I think it’s a pretty good system.

  6. Member
    Mrs. Dragon 814 posts, Busy bee @ 2:07 pm

    @Amanda: I find that as we’re getting closer Mr. D has a bit more of an opinion on things (which is kind of frustrating when he suddenly has an opinion on something he told me he didn’t care about so I already did) BUT he is also taking a seriously pivotal role in calming me the heck down when I get stressed out.
    @sn2bmrsmntgmry: Yesterday I got the “these are small details” speech so I hear you on the calming down thing! :)
    @Miss Coyote: Ooooh I hate option C!
    @Miss_Manda: I think Mr. D skimmed the registry and promptly ignored it so anything we get is for me. :D He is opinionated about some things that I’m like really? that?! but I’m just happy to have him involved.
    @northmeetssouth: Haha, we were literally just off the highway for like half an hour while he futzed around with it and I stress-ate!

  7. Member
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 2:29 pm

    Mr. P was pretty similar, and actually, towards the end, he just told me to pick things myself. I was happy to do just that :)

  8. Guest Icon Guest
    gonnabeMrsHH, Guest @ 8:06 am

    Great picture! My groom is pretty involved in big decisions that have to be taken (budget, venue, guestlist, honeymoon). But whenever i start talking about the details such as colors (and yes FI there are various shades of purple) I know that that is really far out of his comfort/interest zone :)

  9. Member
    Miss Ariel 83 posts, Worker bee @ 6:15 pm

    My fiance’s is a lot similar to yours. He wants to be involved in what he and the groomsmen wear and that’s about it.

  10. Member
    jessicamourine 10 posts, Newbee @ 10:24 pm

    Miss Dragon, your post describes my fiance and me exactly!! I laughed so hard at “kind of frustrating when he suddenly has an opinion on something he told me he didn’t care about so I already did.” At first he told me that he doesn’t care, I can choose what I want. We’re two months away and he’s decided the grooms attire, his attire, had huge opinions about the venue, chose the honeymoon, wanted to help design the save the dates and invitations, and today told me about his plans for the ceremony. Haha! I am Polly Planner so it was a struggle to stay flexible but in the end the result has been a special day that reflects both of us :)

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