So, I’m about to get real with you today Hive. I hope you’re ready!
You may or may not have noticed by now my little badge of honor. Honestly, you probably haven’t. It’s glaringly obvious to me, but we are our own worst critics. I have been told many times that it’s not noticeable (but the self-conscious part of me thinks everyone is saying that just to be nice).
Anyways, I’m done being vague.
Here it is:
See it? No?
How about now?
When I was two years old my mother took me to a routine checkup with my pediatrician. He heard something in my ticker that concerned him and referred my mother to a pediatric cardiologist. I’ll spare you all the medical-speak, but things were not good and I underwent open heart surgery at the ripe old age of two.
Due to my thorough pediatrician, a wonderful cardiologist and an incredibly skilled surgeon (not to mention about a billion prayers) everything went smoothly. I have no restrictions and have lived a completely normal life. I’m lucky to be alive, let alone totally healthy, and you bet your butt I count my lucky stars every day that I’m here, breathing, living and enjoying my life.
I’m sure you’re wondering right about now what this has to do with weddings. I promise it’s relevant.
The only physical reminder I have of my heart condition is this doozy of a scar. I’ve already shown off my dress to you… It’s strapless and it has a sweetheart neckline. Not very conducive for hiding a large scar.
Now, I know I am not the only person to have a noticeable scar and in the grand scheme of things I count myself lucky that it’s not any worse. Regardless of that, I am incredibly self-conscious about my scar. I know it’s vain, but I can’t help it. Up until about age 17 I would only buy shirts that covered my scar. Although my parents were probably thrilled that their teenage daughter was uninterested in plunging necklines (like many of my friends were) it was also incredibly difficult to find “cool” clothes that were fit for a nun. Scoop neck shirts were my best friend:
I wore this particular swim suit for years simply because it almost completely covered my scar. (Okay, okay, and the dragon is pretty kick-ass.)
Now I know it’s faded tremendously over the years, but I see it all the time… Especially in photos.
I wish I was brave enough to rock my scar. I feel guilty even as I type this out. But I’m just not that strong. And I’m vain. I want to look my best on my wedding day and unfortunately no amount of dieting or tanning will make this go away. And at the end of the day the photos are for me and my husband. Even if I am oozing happiness and beauty that day I know I will focus on my scar if it shows up in photos.
I am hoping that the combo of an awesome make up artist plus my photographers’ amazing editing skills will do the trick. I went back through our engagement photos and noticed that it’s actually not very noticeable at all once they worked their magic:
Hopefully I will get similar results for our wedding day photos!
Do you have any badges of honor? Are you covering them up for the big day or proudly showing them off?
Everyone is going to be too busy seeing your awesome smile to notice your scar! Well done to you for going through something so major so young. You are going to look amazing on your day, scar or no scar.
Everyone is going to be too busy looking at your awesome smile to notice your scar! Well done to you going through something so major so young. You are going to be beautiful on your day.
I saw a similar thing on Say Yes to the Dress! A girl had a scar in the same spot and was dead set on getting a high-necked one shoulder dress to cover her scar, but then I think she ended up taking her families advice and going with a sweetheart neckline. She looked gorgeous and so will you!! And no, you totally CAN’T see the scar in the engagement photo!! So I’m sure your wedding photos will turn out just as lovely. Congrats!
I have a heart condition and may require surgery. Docs are hoping the medication will keep it under control. I never noticed the scar. An your photographer did an amazing job. But I would wear that scar with pride. 
Engagement photo looks beautiful and I would never know (and I was looking). Even if the scar shows up, it’s an easy enough photoshop correction for any kind of skilled photographer.
My FH had a badge of honor and will be attempting cover up. Likely we’ll just bring it to the photographer’s attention so the angles avoid it because the coverup is not perfect. We too will be using the engagement shoot to test that all out.
I have a huge scar too! Mine is down my whole forearm. I had plastic surgery on it too and it’s still fairly noticeable (actually I have two 7 inch scars)… but at this point I’ve learned to embrace it and never really notice it anymore unless someone asks me what happened. It’s part of our past, and it is BEAUTIFUL Just like you are beautiful inside and out!
I agree! You’ll look amazing and you can’t see the scar at all in the engagement pictures
I know what you’re feeling though. I have a thyroid scar in the middle of my neck and have made a hobby out of finding big chunky necklaces to distract from it. Even though everyone says they can’t see it, I feel like its always there!
I think your scar is barely noticeable. Of course you can see if it you’re staring right at it, but it’s not really polite to stare at a lady’s chest anyway. I’ve got a fairly visible scar right above my right eyebrow that I got from crashing in a bicycle race a few years ago and although I tend to notice it in the mirror, it’s not something that bothers me and I don’t get weird looks or comments about it. I won’t be doing anything special to cover it up on my wedding day.
I didnt ever notice it and to be honest even when looking I still cant!
I isn’t very noticeable at all. Actually in the close up photo it looks like a little bit of sunburn where sunscreen wasn’t applied or a faint mark from pressure such as being hugged by someone wearing a purse with a bulky strap. My FH is self conscious about a scar on his nose, but no one seems to notice it but him. Let your photographer know that you want it photoshopped because he or she might not notice. My mom is a photographer and sometimes clients ask her to photoshop things she missed simply because it wasn’t noticeable to her when she first edited the photos. And btw your engagement photo looks wonderful!
I don’t think your opinion of your scar as being vein. It’s natural in our society to be concerned about such things. Just about every woman goes though the same thing. We shouldn’t be this way – we really should be happy with ourselves just the way we are, but society has conditioned us to think otherwise.
Bottom line – most of the time we notice blemishes, scars, etc. much more than anyone else does. Keep that in mind. Besides, you’ll be having such an amazing day that a little scar will be the last thing on your mind!
I have a scar on my neck that looks like I had a tracheotomy. I didn’t have one I just ran into a mailbox on my bike as a child and probably should have gotten stitches but I didnt… I don’t mind it and people rarely notice. I do notice it in pictures though. I had some headshots retouched and the guy removed my scar very easily. Your pictures look great an I’m sure you won’t be able to see your scar at all
I totally feel your pain…..however you are so beautiful! I didn’t even see your scar in your engagement pic. You are who you are and your fiancé loves you for that. On your wedding day hold your head up high in confidence and enjoy the moment for what it is. Your friends and family will not judge you on that day. I’m sure they will be in awe of how beautiful you look. Besides it won’t be as if you are in front of strangers who would be criticizing you from head to toe.
I was in an ATV accident back in October and broke my ulna bone (which is still not healed) and I had road rach on my whole forearm and a huge hole in my arm…it was gross looked like ground beef. so now i have a scar and looks like i got scratched up by a bear or something. its funny my scar bothers people more than it bothers me..everyone keeps asking me what i am gonna do about it for my wedding. but to me it sucked to go thru the pain of the accident, but I got 3 months off on disablity which was the best time for my family to have me home more and it turned out to be a good thing in my life, and my scar reminds me of the time I got to be a stay at home mom and take care of my family and house!!! so i wont be stressing at my wedding if people are looking at my scared up arm!!! I am just glad that they finally let me out of my cast!! 5 months of a cast is a HUGE pain
Have you ever watched Return to Me with Minnie Driver? Other than being an amazing movie (so adorable and funny, the old men really make it!) she also had heart surgery and was self-conscious about the scar, and if people would see it and ask about it. Anywho, her grandpa was trying to set her up and told the guy that she had “Had some work done, you know, on your chest!” “Grandpa, he’s gonna think I, uh, you know…” so funny. Anyway, I really don’t think it’s very noticeable in photos. Plus, photoshop is magical. I’m not going to tell you how to feel about it or that you should be grateful or yada yada, but that I don’t think you’ll need to worry much about it showing in photos. Your day will be fantastic anyway!
I also have a scar that I am hiding. I had some breast tissue removed from my right underarm, and it left a huge scar, but since it is under my arm the scar itself is not the issue. Each edge of the scar, the front and back create a tip and it is right at the fatty part where your arm and chest come together. THe best way I can describe it; is it looks like a little nipple or something. The back of the long scar groups up a bunch of skin near my shoulder blade wich creates an unnatural back fat roll. Since most wedding dresses are strapless or shows arms and if you lift your amrs you can see your underarm. I struggled finding a dress that would go up far enough to the armpit or with sleeves. I really didnt want sleeves becuase it is going to be an outdoor wedding. I feel your pain and had my dress special ordered and adjusted to cover up the scar, but I am still nervous that it might peek out during a picutre. Thanks for sharing!!!
My niece was born with a heart defect and had surgery almost immediately after birth. She’s supposed to be going back for another surgery in the next few months. I’ve definitely heard the medical jargon and know how scary it is. I’m SO glad you don’t have any lasting effects!
I don’t think you should feel vain or guilty for not showing your scar. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable and don’t look back!
I honestly stared at the first photo of you and your fiance in this post for like 10 seconds and just could not figure out what you were talking about… maybe in person it is more noticeable but honestly, if its anything like that picture or your engagement ones im sure no one will even SEE it… i know i couldnt except for in the close-up shot! im sure its 1000x bigger in your eyes than anyone else’s, we all have things that we see and are convinced others do too!
I have not one, but two scars on my forehead right next to each other from two different accidents and sets of stitches. They’re noticeable in person, not so much in pictures, but I’ve never once covered them with makeup. They’re just part of my face. But I can understand wanting to cover them up and don’t consider that vain. I wouldn’t stress though, it definitely isn’t noticeable in the first picture, and even if it shows a little, its just part of you and your story.
I have the exact same scar as you do! (Mostly the same story, too… I had my heart surgery when I was four.) Having the scar has never really bothered me – most of the time, I completely forget that I even have one in the first place – but I can totally understand how it might make you self-conscious. (And you definitely shouldn’t feel guilty over the way you feel about it!)
I wish I could tell you my secrets to being blase about my membership in the Zipper Club, but I don’t really know why it doesn’t bother me. But what I can tell you is that no one is going to be looking at it on your wedding day, no matter what your neckline – they will be looking at you, the happy, glowing bride and your gorgeous smile!
Mrs. Coyote, Westchester, NY Age and Occupation: 26, Administrative Assistant Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Computer Programmer Engagement Date: August 2010 Wedding Date: June 2012 Venue: Franklin Plaza About Me: I am an overly-caffeinated, sports-obsessed history nerd who loves a good book and hates bananas. Originally from a small town in Upstate NY, I made the move to Westchester County and never looked back! My loves include NBC Thursdays, red wine, fleece pajamas, and my amazing fiancé. Together we are planning a formal evening affair for 175 guests with a mix of new and old traditions and plenty of personal touches.
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