Big Changes in the Mink Bridal Party (a Pregnant Bridesmaid!)

I’m pretty good at keeping secrets, but am relieved when I’m let off the hook and can share something that was previously private. I’ve been giddy over the prospect of sharing this news. My sister-in-law is pregnant! She and my brother, who are the reason I have an amazing gaggle of ring bearers, are having their fourth little boy!

Sister Mink was actually a little bit nervous to tell me her great news and explained that many women do not like having pregnant bridesmaids. I must have missed something because I couldn’t figure out why this would be. I know I’ve seen plenty of charming pictures of bridal parties with a baby bump or two.

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From Bridal Mussings / Photo by Erin Johnson Photography / Via Lover.ly

So what’s the big deal? I did some Googling and found some places on the web where brides say they want a pregnant bridesmaid to step down! Some seem to think a pregnant bridesmaid diverts attention away from the bride or that a baby bump in a picture isn’t attractive. I could see offering a bridesmaid a way out of the bridal party if her due date coincides with the wedding date, but other than that I don’t see the problem.

I even get a little misty thinking about my future nephew seeing my wedding pictures one day. I hope he loves seeing his mother, happy and pregnant, in them.

So, why do you think brides don’t like having pregnant bridesmaids? How do you feel about them?

BLOGGER

Mrs. Mink

Location:
Charlottesville, Virginia
Wedding Date:
June 2012
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  1. Member
    Birdee106 3237 posts, Sugar bee @ 2:13 pm

    My sister and MOH is TTC right now and my wedding is in October. I am excited for her! I really don’t care if she is pregnant in my wedding and agree with you, I don’t see the big deal! Congrats to your SIL!

  2. Member
    zagora 767 posts, Busy bee @ 2:18 pm

    I can see how it might create a kink if the bridemaids will have matching dresses – it might be hard to predict what size the pregnant ‘maid will need, or might be hard to find matching dresses that include a maternity dress. But it’s a joyous occasion, not something to get stressed over!

  3. Member
    castle 1191 posts, Bumble bee @ 2:22 pm

    Congratulations to your sis in-law and brother. How exciting! I would never ask a pregnant bridesmaid to step down. I might ask them if they’d like to sit down during the ceremony though lol. I love the thought of your future nephew seeing his Mom in your wedding pregnant. So special!

  4. Guest Icon Guest
    Kim, Guest @ 2:23 pm

    I have a newly pregnant ‘maid too! & am actually counting on at least one other. I think its great :)
    only downfall in my mind, is no champagne!

  5. Guest Icon Guest
    Stacey, Guest @ 2:28 pm

    I had two VERY pregnant bridesmaids [my sister, and one of my good friends]. I was delighted that they were still up for being in the bridal party.

  6. Member
    BookishBelle 1629 posts, Bumble bee @ 2:30 pm

    I second all above. People are crazy. My mom had a friend who didn’t let another friend be in her wedding party because she wasn’t attractive enough. WTF? The point of your bms is to have people you love and who love you be up there supporting you on your big day. Not to appeal to some wack sense of vanity…Congrats to you and your SIL!

  7. Member
    kit_kath 1331 posts, Bumble bee @ 2:32 pm

    I wouldn’t mind at all having a pregnant bridesmaid, I picked those girls for a reason and I’ll take them in whatever form they happen to currently be in. If for some reason she no longer wanted to be in the wedding party I’d be fine with her decision to (though probably a little bumbed). I’d do whatever I reasonably could to accomodate and keep her in the party, like sitting during the ceremony, choosing a dress that will work, etc.

  8. Member
    Mariska24 81 posts, Worker bee @ 2:37 pm

    Aw this is really sweet, because you’re right about when your future nephew sees your wedding pics. Every time I see an old picture of my mom while pregnant with me always puts a smile on my face :)

  9. Member
    FutureMrsSpencer 526 posts, Busy bee @ 2:37 pm

    I think pregnant bridesmaids are not a big deal. I can see where the problem would be because they probably won’t be able to be there for every little thing. But, I think it isn’t a big deal.

  10. Guest Icon Guest
    Liz, Guest @ 2:39 pm

    I don’t think I would ask this person to step down, but I would offer her if she wanted to, to not worry about it. I’m sure pregnancy brings along its own aches/pains and worries, and if she felt she wasn’t up to the task anymore because of her pregnancy, I wouldn’t want her to feel guilty about it

  11. Member
    mstreasure 1655 posts, Bumble bee @ 2:45 pm

    That’s so exciting! Hopefully the dress will still fit her. That would be my only concern.

  12. Member
    MrsKeAloha 1044 posts, Bumble bee @ 2:49 pm

    I have two preggers in my bridal party :D . One will be 7 1/2 months and we are giving her a seat instead of standing all that time. The other is only a couple months and just starting to show. I told her to pee before the ceremony cuz if she does the potty dance I’ll tease her forever more.
    I’m so excited

  13. Member
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 3:10 pm

    What exciting news, I don’t understand wanting a pregnant bridesmaid to step down, it’s just more joy to add to the day!

  14. Member
    honey 1684 posts, Bumble bee @ 3:19 pm

    I have heard the horror stories of a bride asking a ‘maid to step down because of being preggers…YIKES!! I had 2 pregnant bridesmaids (one the MOH) and it was just perfect :)

  15. Member
    HeathenSwan 779 posts, Busy bee @ 3:24 pm

    Pregnancy, hair color, tattoos, weight gain/loss, you name it. All are incredibly selfish, self centered, and stupid reasons to kick someone out (or even complain).

    The way I see it, if someone is worried about their pictures that day, or even how the bridal party will look (beyond the dress), they’re completely doing it wrong. When I see a post like that, I usually suggest they fire the bridal party and use mannequins, or models for their bridal party. It’s obvious these ladies care less about friendship, and more about wanting a “perfect little micromanaged Martha wedding”.

  16. Member
    pharlley 27 posts, Newbee @ 4:13 pm

    I have friends of different cultures, and it can be frowned upon to have a married/pregnant woman in the bridal party….but these are old time traditions that really dont matter to most.

    If I was having a bridal party, I completely agree and think its cute!!

  17. Member
    Mrs. Dragon 814 posts, Busy bee @ 4:46 pm

    If any of my ‘maids are pregnant for the wedding it’s fine by me! Life happens, far beyond the reach of my wedding.

  18. Guest Icon Guest
    Ginger5729, Guest @ 5:36 pm

    Ha! I’m so glad you posted this! My wedding is in August and I now have 2 pregnant maids! One will be 7.5 months and the other 6 months with twins!! It is very exciting! Unfortunately we had already purchased their dresses so we made a stop this week to see what could be done. The dresses we had would not work with their baby bumps and we only had about 5 other dresses to choose from. I have one other female bm and 2 male bm’s so we went with a dress that is a slightly different style but both have flowers on one shoulder so it will look fine. Luckily we were able to exchange the dresses!! I am leaving it up to the other bm if she wants to switch to the other dress but I am not making her.

    I don’t know why brides would be upset about their bm’s being pregnant. They should be the people that you would ask no matter what because they are closest to you. I did talk to both of them and asked them if they were okay with still being in the wedding but I would never kick them out for being pregnant. It is rediculous to expect other people to put their lives on hold for your wedding. As far as the dresses go I just really want them to be comfortable and they will look great no matter what!

  19. Guest Icon Guest
    Katie, Guest @ 5:44 pm

    You shouldn’t have had to google far- there are plenty of threads here on the ‘Bee that have brides flipping out over a pregnant BM. Good for you for being so reasonable!!

  20. Member
    Future Army Wife 2213 posts, Buzzing bee @ 6:34 pm

    To me, it’s pretty rude to ask a pregnant friend to step down. So she was okay before she was having a baby? The only reason I could think of a prego bridesmaid stepping down is if she wasn’t comfortable (like physically). One of my cousins was her sister’s MOH 8+ months pregnant. She was miserable the whole night. That is a good reason to step aside.

  21. Member
    Red Poppy 21 posts, Newbee @ 7:28 pm

    I’m getting married May 26 and my sister is Matron of Honor. She’ll be 6 months pregnant at that time and I think it’s fantastic! Hopefully the dress will fit fine because we ordered it knowing how pregnant she will be!

  22. Member
    turkey 654 posts, Busy bee @ 7:31 pm

    So exciting for your brother & sister in law – congrats (again) Aunt Mink!

    And I can’t even imagine asking a bridesmaid to step down because of pregnancy (unless they requested it because of physical / health reasons).

  23. Member
    PitBulLover 8411 posts, Bumble Beekeeper @ 8:05 pm

    Two of my sisters in law were pregnant at our wedding (one was showing, one we didn’t even know at the time!) and I didn’t care at all. I didn’t even think about it! They both looked beautiful and like you said, I like to think of the idea of my nephews seeing their mothers young, pregnant and happy!

  24. Member
    hhnhsq 22 posts, Newbee @ 8:47 pm

    buy cheap wedding dress http://www.millybride.com/

  25. Member
    chasesgirl 5152 posts, Bee Keeper @ 10:03 pm

    In theory I was totally okay if it happened because the only one who might have been preggo would have been my big Sis and I would be thrilled to have a baby to spoil then send home. But in reality I am also pretty happy she wasn’t because being the her oldest granddaughter and what would be the first grandbaby on our side and living 12 hours from the rest of the family, it would have been kind of a show stealer. But luckily reality was no baby bumps at the wedding.

  26. Guest Icon Guest
    Ms Kit, Guest @ 11:25 pm

    I’d be worried about her comfort constantly, and her flying if that’s an issue. The latter one is kind of silly, she couldn’t fly if she were due really soon and would know from her doc if she were at high risk for a preemie, but I know so, so many preemies I’d just be scared the entire third trimester about her flying. That said, I completely don’t understand why anyone would not trust their own friend, who they want up there supporting them, to not know their own ability to be happy and comfortable.

  27. Member
    irish.melis 41 posts, Newbee @ 5:35 am

    I love pregnant people! One of my bridesmaids will be 7 months pregnant at my wedding. Her Husband is an usher, and her 3 y/o son is our ring bearer. It’s been a running joke that her entire family will have been in our wedding when it’s all said in done. I think that it’s beautiful to have someone who is pregnant to stand for you because it represents another opportunity for unconditional love. If my lovely bridesmaid at anytime feels like she’d rather take a seat, I’m ok with that too. I picked the people I picked to stand for me for a reason, for who they are in my life, and what they mean to me as far as being beside me on my wedding day. Asking someone to step down because it’s not aesthetically pleasing to your photo opportunities, means that they didn’t mean that much to you anyway.

    Congrats on being an Aunt again, and enjoy!

  28. Member
    littleprettyliz 358 posts, Helper bee @ 6:19 am

    One of my bridesmaids is pregnant too. I never even considered any of these things- stealing the attention away from the bride, etc. That’s ridiculous! These are our family and friends- we should be celebrating everything together and be happy for everyone and things going on in their lives. I can’t believe people could be so petty!! (after reading what you wrote about people not being happy). Wow…

  29. Guest Icon Guest
    Kirsty Hall, Guest @ 6:23 am

    I can understand checking that a pregnant bridesmaid still wants to be in the wedding if it’s very close to her delivery date or if she’s having a very tough pregnancy but asking her to step down for aesthetic reasons seems rude and weird to me.

  30. Member
    jaykayel 84 posts, Worker bee @ 7:13 am

    I am having a gaggle of nephew ring bearers too! My brother has 4 boys – all under the age of 5 (set of twins in there) : ) Should be exciting!

  31. Member
    cancanny 61 posts, Worker bee @ 7:24 am

    I think it’s AWESOME! If you are planning to have kids, there’s almost something “past, present & future” that having a pregnant bridesmaid represents. Am I weird for seeing that?

    I will say, my friend was 8mo pregnant at a wedding and wished she had more control over what she would wear (as in, wait until that month and go shopping instead of buying some bridesmaid dress and then obsessing over if it will fit or not in 5 months!) So yeah, just give them a little more leeway and it’s solid!

  32. Member
    Jennawesbren 192 posts, Blushing bee @ 7:24 am

    We have a Bridesmaid that will be 38weeks and 2 days pregnant! Well hopefully she will still be pg or a week post partum. We were ecstatic to find out the news after years of them trying. If it took a wheelchair and a mop(you know if her water breaks lol) that girl was going to be up there with us! We just mixed things up a bit for her, obviously she can sit if need be but she is still running 3 miles a day so pretty sure she will be ok. The girls are all wearing different shoes so she wasn’t the odd one out in flats and I offered to pick out a longer similar dress for her but she is stubborn and got the same one as the other two. Hope that works out for her, kinda scares me that she will need shorts under it. ha ha
    Congrats to your SIL!

  33. Member
    almostmrsj 3243 posts, Sugar bee @ 7:38 am

    Congrats to your brother and sister-in-law! I think it would be great to have my best woman pregnant! I tried to talk my brother into knocking her up before the wedding, but they’re waiting to start TTC ’till after. :)

  34. Member
    Missido 813 posts, Busy bee @ 7:54 am

    Same thing happened to us! My FI’s honor attendant is pregnant! We just found out like 2 weeks ago :) I love that we will have a pregnant lady in our wedding party. We couldn’t be happier for them. She’s going to look so adorable with her dress (matching the men’s suits) and a 7.5 month pregnant belly!

  35. Member
    mink 2178 posts, Buzzing bee @ 8:50 am

    I LOVE that so many Bees are supportive of their pregnant bridesmaids. I think adult women are perfectly capable of deciding if they want to be in a bridal party and in light of how active most pregnant women are, it wouldn’t be a problem to stand for 20 minutes (for those having a secular ceremony).

    As for dresses, I think a good seamstress can work wonders. :)

  36. Member
    coyote 1564 posts, Bumble bee @ 8:57 am

    Congratulations!! That is so exciting! :) My aunt was recently married when I got engaged and asked her to a BM. I know they want children and I kept telling her she would be the cutest preggo bridesmaid ever!! ;) Haha, but they are not trying yet. BOOOO.

  37. Member
    Season 99 posts, Worker bee @ 9:57 am

    One of my bridesmaids was pregnant as well. She told me they were trying to for their second and she might be “a little pregnant….like 1st trimester” by the time of the wedding. A few days later she called back and said “ok, a lot pregnant!”. She was about 7.5 months at the time of the wedding.

    Fortunately, in this day and age, it’s common to put bridesmaids in different dresses and shoes. We went with The Dessy Group (google em, they rock). All the dresses were made fo the same material and color but in styles that made each girl happy. They all wore nude shoes so preggo BM wore flats. It was no big deal at all.

    I think the coolest part is that she has been my friend since the 7th grade and my wedding had both of her children in it (her daughter was my flower girl)! Someday we will get to tell Levi that he was an honorary bridesmaid. =)

  38. Guest Icon Guest
    Libby, Guest @ 10:32 am

    what! i would be so happy if one of my bridesmaids was pregnant..wouldnt even bat an eye at it! and honestly, a lot of times you cant tell a pregnant bridesmaid from a fat bridesmaid, haha.

  39. Member
    lovebuttercup 50 posts, Worker bee @ 1:32 pm

    I was a pregnant bridesmaid, had my BM dress purchased on clearance so we could not return it. My mother and I made a beautiful wrap dress with black ribbon above my 8+month bump. I was the only one standing up for the bride and was honored to be there. She is my best friend and now is a BM in my wedding. We can always make her a dress ( or get a new one) if she decides to be preggers during mine! I love her no matter what!

  40. Member
    sara.courtney3 33 posts, Newbee @ 8:28 am

    Congrats on becoming an auntie again! I think it’s as ridiculous to be upset over a pregnant bridesmaid as it is to expect your bridesmaids to lose weight for your wedding! (I’ve watched a lot of bridezillas in my day!!)

  41. Member
    ItsPronounced_ABear 715 posts, Busy bee @ 7:39 am

    I actually didn’t know I had a pregnant bridesmaid until 5 months after my wedding! Apparently she was about 6 weeks into the preganancy. This is the same girl who was 7 months pregnant as a bridesmaid at my sister’s wedding 4 years ago. It didn’t bother either of us to have her in our bridal party. (That is, if she had also been many months preggers at my wedding, I wouldn’t have cared either).

  42. Guest Icon Guest
    Kelsey, Guest @ 11:53 am

    I don’t get those people either. I actually love a pregnant bridesmaid and was thrilled when one of mine told me she was expecting! It might be a concern when the wedding rolls around and she’s 7 months pregnant only because she wasn’t pregnant when she ordered her dress, but we’ll figure that out when the time comes.

    Babies are always exciting and it just means y’all now have to wonderful events to celebrate!

  43. Member
    anna.pereira1 1 posts, Wannabee @ 7:18 pm

    Hello, I love your bridesmaids dresses, can you tell me where did you buy them, or what is the designers name? Maybe I can find it in a store in my area :)

  44. Member
    mink 2178 posts, Buzzing bee @ 7:20 pm

    @anna.pereira1: The source of the picture is right below it. I’m sure the blog where the photo is from has the name of the designer.

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