OK, let’s pretend that I’m not biased. (In fact, I’m not, but you might not believe me.) Let’s pretend that my relationship with another woman, Lady T, has nothing to do with my emotions toward same-sex marriage. (Again, it doesn’t, but you might disagree.)
I want to emphasize that these are my opinions. I don’t claim to know it all, to have studied it all, or even to have worked through it all myself. These opinions are based on my personal experience and how I was raised.
I have a fundamental conflict with government controlling the legality of marriage.
I also have an issue with religion dictating that marriage is strictly between a man and a woman. Let me repeat, religion.
The Bible, according to some religions the word of God, was written how long ago? Additionally, how many times was it translated JUST in writing? Let’s not even think about how each individual person reads and interprets the meaning behind the words in that book.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not downplaying the importance of the Bible or the words within it, I’m merely suggesting that understanding the book within the context in which it exists is important to consider.
I understand that God’s intention for marriage was for man to not be alone and to lead a life that takes a person’s soul to heaven. Essentially, a life partner who makes you the best version of yourself and brings you closer to God.
What a brilliant concept.
I don’t know about you, but I loathe being lonely. I do the most random, idiotic things when I’m lonely–because I’m not accountable, I don’t have a sense of loyalty, nor do I feel the need to be a good version of me, because who cares but me?!
Having a partner to share your life with is downright genius. Props to you, Big Guy, for thinking of us enough to guide us toward sharing ourselves with one another in order to be closer to you.
Having said all of that, please tell me where the government was mentioned? Additionally, where was ANY religious institution mentioned?
It wasn’t.
So forgive me for being so forthright about it, but what the hell?
WHY do we allow other people to tell us what’s right, just, and best for us?
It’s not “standard” or “traditional” for a woman to choose a woman for marriage, but that doesn’t make it wrong when it happens. Just like it’s not standard or traditional for 98% of the world’s population to earn a terminal degree, but we don’t take away the rights of the people who do so when they become doctors. I might be comparing apples to oranges here, but do you see my point? Just because something isn’t mainstream doesn’t make it wrong or against the word of God.
The reason same-sex union is so highly debated is because it makes some people feel uncomfortable.
If I was downright against everything that made me uncomfortable, I’d never wear pants, never sit next to someone who is eating, or, heck, why leave my house? I’m ALWAYS comfortable there.
My point is, same-sex marriage isn’t an abomination in the eyes of God. How could it be? So long as the union causes both souls to lift one another up closer to God, who cares what their anatomy consists of?
Did you know that eating shellfish is an abomination according to the straightforward interpretation of words in the Bible? In fact, it says so just a few passages before it talks of man lying with man. My point here is to understand the context in which these words were written. When the Bible was written, times were different. Shellfish consumption was thought to be an abomination. Women were property. See what I mean? Different times, peeps.
The point of all the scripture in the Bible, in my opinion, is to learn to be a good person. Whom you choose to spend your life with should be someone who supports you, loves you, gives openly to you, and, most importantly, forgives you. Who cares if that person’s anatomy is the same as your own? I sure don’t!
When Lady T and I wed*, it will be “legal” in the state we’re getting married in, but when we come home it won’t be. Frankly, I don’t care about that. I KNOW I’m committing to her. I KNOW my life is going to be spent dedicated to her. I don’t need the government to dictate that for me.
So guess what? We’re going to get married anyway. And I’ll never refer to my WEDDING as a commitment ceremony. We’re having a wedding; we’re getting married. God knows it, we know it, our families know it. And we’re all flipping jazzed about it!!
*This pertains to the legal ceremony we’ll have, not our actual wedding in December.
I agree with you completely. Way to go, girl! I’m going to be marrying a man, but the commitment we make to one another and the commitment you and Lady T make to one another is on the same level. Vowing to spend our lives with the other person that makes us feel whole. I agree that the government shouldn’t be able to dictate whether or not a marriage is legal based on something like anatomy.
I agree with everything you just said. 
Love is lova and thats the main thing the Bible teaches us. And the Bible is subjet of a lot of different interpretations,if it brings you closer to God, thats what matters.
Agreed! 100% Agreed!! As a black woman marrying a white man, all I can think about is that a few years ago OUR marriage would have been illegal and “against the rules of the bible”. Now everyone looks back and thinks about how crazy and ridiculous that was.
As usual, history is repeating itself and people are freaking out over same-sex marriages. Which is absolutely ridiculous. I don’t care what anyone says, the Bible should never, ever be an excuse to persecute a person because they are in a loving, committed relationship. Using a book to defend blatant acts of discrimination is the exact opposite of what Christianity is supposed to be.
This was a wonderful post and congrats on your upcoming wedding. I wish you a lifetime of happiness!!!
@Mrs Bravo: virtual high-five to you!! well said, my friend!
@cwbrown85: and a hug for you–thank you for being so kind! And YAY for you and your upcoming wedding!!
I completely agree with everything you said too!! I don’t think anyone should be told that you can’t marry who you choose as your soulmate. I am marrying a man but to each their own. Marriage is hard enough to make a success out of these days, everyone should have to endure those tough times with the one they love! I’m all for everyone marrying whoever the hell they want to.
I completely agree. I think every argument against gay marriage is complete BS. If your religion is against it, fine, don’t get gay married! But last time I checked, we had freedom of religion in this country! I’m an agnostic, but the government isn’t stopping me from getting married because I’m not Christian or religious, therefore marriage is not a religious institution. Straight people who can’t have kids or don’t want to are not prohibited from getting married, so it’s not about procreation. It’s totally about what some people are not comfortable with, which is simply not fair for the rest of us. I just hope that younger generations, who know more gay people and are exposed to gay culture at a younger age will change our society’s attitude towards it.
When I picked up my marriage license at the county clerk’s office it made me SO MAD that there were people, LOTS of people, who could not sit in line and fill out paperwork because of the gender of the person that they were committing their life to. And as far as trying to use religion to invalidate someone’s committed love, totally insane. God is love, so how can love be a sin? And even if YOUR God says it is a sin, whatever happened to freedom of religion!?
Sorry to get ranty. I agree with you 100%. On a slightly different note, I love your writing.
I love your viewpoint on this, and wish more religious people could understand this point of view.
Beyond that, though, in regard to legal marriage, I’ve never heard a (valid) argument against legal same-sex marriage that did not involve some sort of religious institution – so – since church and state are (supposed to be) separate, I don’t understand why the man/woman requirement for legal marriage stands nationally.
@Miss Aardvark: I have to admit, I’m practically a professional writer with all my PhD course work–online education=writing, writing, writing! Blogging helps me let out the conversationalist in me . I like to write how I speak and generally that’s not acceptable in academia!
As a Christian, and, you know, a human being, I couldn’t agree with you more. I can’t wait to hear all about your wedding journey!
Not to hijack your thread, but your post reminded of great article called Christianity in Crisis that was posted recently: http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2012/04/01/andrew-sullivan-christianity-in-crisis.html
I have a gay friend who is engaged to be married and can see the forest through the trees so to speak, so he identifies as Christian. So props to you for doing so also. But I just can’t handle the judgment that I see so many Christians project on a wide range of issues from gay marriage to abortion, so I’ve left Christianity myself.
I totally disagree but respect your opinion- just like I would want you to respect mine! Let me start by saying that my Aunt is gay and I also have gay friends. So I am not a person who thinks gay people are “other” or weird or less than me, etc. I don’t mean to offend anyone in what I say, but also please understand that what you just wrote about the Bible offends me (I know that wasn’t your intention).
If you believe that the Bible is the Word of God then it doesn’t matter when it was written: the Word of the Lord endures FOREVER.; if you are a Christian then you believe this. Now yes there are some things in the Bible that are outdated, such as the roles of women, some traditions etc, but the MESSAGE of the Jesus does not answer to time. God’s word supercedes time. It is true throughout all times.
Also, the Bible is not just about “being a good person” because much of what God’s word commands is not what everyone would think is “good.” For example- none of you like that I am against gay marriage..you think that makes me NOT a good person, but it’s what the Bible commands. Some of it is hard to do and hard to uphold, you see my point? Being a “good person” is a piece of the Bible, but it is not enough, and God expects much more than that out of us. Sometimes we have to look like the bad person just to stand up for what is right.
Also, each time the Bible has been translated it has been translated from the ORIGINAL language (ie Hebrew, Greek, Aramaic). So regardless of the language, it has only been translated ONCE.
Additionally, I do not support gay marriage NOT because it makes me “uncomfortable,” but because it goes against my very belief system. It goes against my FAITH, not my “religion.” Religion is about control, faith is about freedom in God and trusting him to know what is best for you. When the Bible tells us something, we have to TRUST that it is for a reason (again- only if you believe that it is God’s word). I cannot say “well, God, I agree that adultery and greed are sins, but gay marriage for everyone- yay!!). It doesn’t work that way!
One thing I will say is that Christians make homosexuality out to be so “evil” and “sinful,” and all the while they are out cheating on their opposite-sex spouses …PLEASE don’t mistake their hypocrisy for Christianity. They are expressing hatred, which is not Christ-like at all. Hatred of homosexuality, violence against homosexuals, etc are sins just like the sin they are calling your gay relationship. They will answer to God for those actions one day, don’t you worry.
However, those who are saying that the message of the Bible is just “love” and thus it doesn’t matter if it is homosexual or heterosexual love, this is simply NOT what the Bible says. And I understand that for most people it is HARD to trust what the Bible says when it is contrary to what you THINK (like, I love my girlfriend so how can that be bad?), but that is what being a Christian is all about. You surrender your mind, will, and emotions to Jesus because you know that God knows what is best for you. Read Romans 1:26-27 and tell me that God thinks homosexuality is all about “love” and it’s just fine with him.
And as far as the government thing, I get what you’re saying. But is it okay for a father and daughter to marry if they are in love? What about a brother and sister? 50 year old woman and 12 year old boy if they are in love? The answer is no. And if the government can say what is legally and morally right and wrong via the judicial system than gay marriage cannot be exempt.
One final point- I AM NOT THE JUDGE. Your friends are not the judge, your family is not the judge, God is the ONLY judge. So as far as I am concerned, you have to answer to him, not me, so what other people think (and what I think) ultimately doesn’t matter. It’s what God thinks that matters and that is between you and him. I hope this made some sense to someone out there!!
I am so with you on this one! I’m a Catholic lesbian and the whole religious justification thing does nothing for me. Does Jesus grill the couple at Cana about their openness to conception? Hell no – he just brings them a vat of wine. Thus also proving that God likes parties.
And I am so fed up of people flinching when we use the “w” word. Commitment ceremony my arse.
I support same sex marriage, cause who are we to say someone they’re not allowed to marry their soulmate, I know I’d hate for someone to tell me that.
At the same time I feel like I don’t have a say, does gay marriage affect my life? NO, so I have no right to say in it.
@gummie310@yahoo.com: Don’t apologize for having an opinion!! We all live, interpret, and breathe differently–the important thing is that were all doing it!
You don’t have to support my marriage, but I don’t have to agree with your faith, as you put it. Simple as that–no apologies necessary!
Thank you for chiming in!
I’m on board with gummie310@yahoo.com. I wish I could express myself so elegantly. That said, I do have friends who are lesbians, and married. I don’t hold their orientation against them or anything.
Good luck with wedding planning!
Well put, gummie. The Bible never condoned homosexuality, which is a sin. However, I think the wickedness of man leads him to judge and condemn other men, although condemnation is a right fit only for God. People just make a point to single out homosexuality and ignore other sins like lying, cheating, stealing, etc, but in truth a sin is a sin. No man or woman is perfect, but God will judge each man accordingly.
I don’t think you’re a horrible person; I think we’re all flawed and the ONLY way to escape the wrath of God and his judgment is through Christ, who for our sake bore our punishment instead. If you profess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus is your Lord and Savior, it is then and only then, will you escape the wrath of God.
I can’t help but also point out your shellfish argument is in the old testament, probably in Leviticus. These rules were typically held by the Jewish nation for THEIR sake. A lot of these rules were established to prevent them from dying from a bad dish (albeit not all these rules). I am not an expert on these Jewish laws, but that’s what I’ve read across my studies. Christians do not follow these laws (how many Christians do you know that offer a goat to God whenever they sin?) because Jesus Christ is the perfecter of the law and fulfilled them all at the cross. Now whoever believes in him has freedom from these laws. Now when I say freedom, I don’t mean you can cheat, steal, kill, lie, etc, but that you’re not bound to offer up goats whenever you do so. What’s more is that you are forgiven of mistakes and you’re rewarded by entering the kingdom of God. You are forgiven AND given a gift after you have done wrong. That’s an amazing God.
My point isn’t to arguing with you so you conform, but my hope is simply to clarify some misconceptions about what Christianity is. I hope you meet someone who truly understands the Gospel and shows you Christ-centered love. A love that doesn’t put up with sin, but embraces you without condemnation.
Miss Tiara, Wichita Age and Occupation: 25, Procurement Agent Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Law Enforcement Engagement Date: March 30, 2012 Wedding Date: December 2012 Venue: Iron Gate Inn About Me: I’m quite particular, but I always know what I want when I find it---including Lady T. Born and raised in southern Kansas, I have a lot of love for wheat fields and building airplanes. In my spare time I’m working on earning my PhD in management. I work full time, school full time, and am the president of an emerging leaders organization. Beyond the job and school, I love anything that shimmers or has ruffles. Our wedding will be charming, shimmery, personal, and an event we’ll never forget.
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