There was a time in my life when I was preoccupied with perfection. For many, the idea of attaining perfection inspires. We’re driven to succeed or work harder or be more resilient. Unfortunately, perfection can become a dangerous taskmaster for some.
In reality, being obsessed with perfection was crippling at some points in my life. If I didn’t think I could do something flawlessly, I didn’t even try. If I didn’t think I looked or felt absolutely perfect, I stayed in and worked on something at which I knew I’d be successful. I could put on a happy face even if I felt sad or upset about something. I considered this to be a tremendous asset at the time, but it probably cut me off from some great experiences and creating bonds with some people.
I started using the mantra “perfect is boring.” I gave myself permission to mess up and take risks. As I became a little more laid back, my life got much more interesting and I probably was a lot more fun to be around.
When wedding planning came up, the need for perfection started to creep back into my life.
I made list after list of projects I had to execute, of things I needed to buy, and of people I had to wrangle. All the while, I was worrying about looking old in photos, about having enough time to juggle all of my commitments, about not being a burden on my bridal party, and about a mother who couldn’t be present during the planning process. Mr. Mink was a calming force at those times when I was especially worried. He was the picture of consistency as I jumped around from one project or idea to the next.
On top of Mr. Mink’s support, I was getting positive feedback from all around. Friends, bloggers from my design-blog days, and members of the hive would say nice things about my projects or about some aspect of our wedding plans. Instead of simply accepting those positive words, I worried about making our wedding “worthy” of them.
Though I love blogging, I have to say that some blogs probably fueled my preoccupation with perfection a little bit. I spent hours gobbling up all the eye candy on wedding blogs. I still love them, but I realized that I have to keep my distance and not spend too, too much time on them. Perfection was everywhere on some of those blogs.
In a way, I should be thankful for the dust-ups that have happened in the last week. (I already told you about the problem with printing programs, but there’s more to come.) When I told my sister-in-law about what was happening, she told me that the two weeks before the wedding are full of speed bumps and missteps, but at the end of the wedding day, those won’t matter.
That drive for perfection that’s inside me wants our wedding to look like one of those styled shoots on the wedding blogs, but I know I need to be at peace with the idea that something might not go according to plan.
Are you a perfectionist or a recovered perfectionist? Did wedding planning make you obsess about being perfect? How did you handle that?
- Charlottesville, Virginia
- College Administrator
- Wedding Date:
- June 2012
- Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards