Beware the…Momzilla?

Disclaimer: Yes, my mother reads my blog. Yes, a majority of what is in the post to follow I have said to her in person so none of this will come as a shock to her. This is *mostly* meant in jest. If there is one thing you should know about me it’s to never take me too seriously. Right, Mom?!

Miss Mink talked a little bit about mothers not being present during wedding planning, but what happens when you have a mother on the other end of the spectrum? You get a Momzilla, that’s what happens.

You guys all know how important my family is to me, so I’m sure it won’t come as a surprise that my mom and I are super close. Even though we are separated by a three-hour drive, we see each other often and call each other weekly (although with the wedding approaching our phone calls have increased in frequency).

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Momma Coyote and me at my bridal shower last month.

Now, my mom is a pretty rational person (most of the time). She has a good head on her shoulders and I’ve always looked up to her and respected her greatly. But in the months following my engagement something changed, and it is clear to me that Momma Coyote has been bitten by the WIC bug. Badly. This lady wants ALL THE THINGS and she’s not afraid to say it.

In fact just the other night she called me and said, “You know, I was talking to my friend about her daughter’s wedding and they made these bags for the guests who booked a hotel room and put all sorts of fun things into them! Like homemade cookies!”

Miss Coyote: “Oh yeah, those are called welcome bags…I’ve heard of them before.”

Momma Coyote: “We should do that!”

Miss Coyote: “Mom, we have just over a month left til the wedding. I still have to assemble the favors and print the programs and menus. Oh and there’s that pesky little full-time job that’s been taking up a lot of my time. I think it’s a nice touch, but there just isn’t enough time. I think it’s OK to do without.”

Momma Coyote: “Well I can do them! We wouldn’t really need that many…”

Miss Coyote: “OK, if you really want to do them you can. But you’ve got enough on your plate right now and I just think they’re going to end up being really time consuming.”

Momma Coyote: “No you’re right. It’s just another thing to buy anyway.” Laughter. And a pause. She’s thinking. This can’t be good. “How about bathroom baskets?!?!”

Miss Coyote: “Sigh.”

LaborDa

I love you Momma, but you’re drivin’ me crazy!

My mom has been with me for every step of our wedding journey. Mr. Coyote is an amazing person and he has many wonderful qualities, but planning a wedding is not one of them. Basically, I make all major decisions, wave them in front of his face for approval, and move on. I’d love for him to be more involved in the planning, but he has told me from day one that he’s just not that interested. And although my bridesmaids have been super supportive, the reality is they just don’t care about all the minute details that go into a wedding. And to be honest, half the time I don’t really care either! That’s where Momma Coyote comes in. This woman is interested in EVERY aspect of wedding planning…maybe even a little too interested.

Need another example? A few months ago we all sat down together to finalize the menu. Each entree comes with a vegetable and a starch. I thought the zucchini sounded nice for the vegetable side, but Momma Coyote really wanted the asparagus. We went back and forth a bit until I relented. I added it to the list of things-about-the-wedding-that-I-really-don’t-care-about and moved on. That is until last weekend when the phone rang:

Momma Coyote: “Miss Coyote? I’m in the car. I’m driving to your grandparents’ house and all of a sudden I thought of something. I know we decided on asparagus, but now I think maybe we should do the zucchini. Do you think people would prefer zucchini or asparagus?”

Miss Coyote: “Zucchini. That’s why I suggested it.”

Momma Coyote: “Yea, you know I’m just not sure. I think people like both. And I think the asparagus will be presented better on the plate.”

Miss Coyote: “Right. That’s why we decided on asparagus.”

Momma Coyote: “But what if people don’t like asparagus? Maybe more people like zucchini. I wish we could take a poll and see what people like better.”

Miss Coyote: “Mom, I don’t care. But we’ve only got a month left and we need to tell the venue if we’re going to change our minds. I don’t care which one you pick, you really just need to make a decision.” (I can’t believe I just said to my mom regarding a decision for my own dang wedding.)

This went on for a few minutes and a decision has yet to be made concerning the asparagus-zucchini debate. In fact, my friends are so excited about the outcome that they are in the process of creating “Team Asparagus” and “Team Zucchini” shirts to don on the big day. It’s going to be an all out vegetable war. In the meantime a separate battle has cropped up pitting the penne against the cavatelli.

Here’s the thing. I really appreciate that my mom is so interested in the wedding. Planning a wedding can be an incredibly lonely process when your friends are single and your groom is more interested in Diablo 3 than if the program should have a purple or silver border. I consider myself very lucky to have someone who is genuinely invested in our wedding to bounce ideas off of. And if that means letting Momma Coyote make decisions about asparagus or zucchini or favors or bathroom baskets then so be it. It makes her happy, and at the end of the day these decisions are just not that important to me. All I really care about it is that 20-minute little ceremony that will bond Mr. Coyote and me together as husband and wife. Everything else is just fluff.

But for Momzilla, it’s the most important part of the day.

Is anyone else struggling with a Momzilla?

BLOGGER

Mrs. Coyote

Location:
Westchester, NY
Wedding Date:
June 2012

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  1. Member
    potion 223 posts, Helper bee @ 8:59 am

    I don’t have a Momzilla, per se. She definitely has her opinions, but she also knows when to say “you know what? it’s your day.”

    However…I have a FMILzilla. Is that a word? It is now. We just spent a week with both moms getting wedding stuff done and she has SO many opinions, especially on flowers, and EVERYTHING I say is “wrong” and is met with a headshake or scowl >.<

  2. Member
    stephk527 987 posts, Busy bee @ 9:30 am

    I love how you write. I can feel your pain and laugh along with you at the same time. 1. Totes Team Zucchini. 2. My FI is also more interested in Diablo 3 (and Starcraft. . .and COD. . .and Skyrim. . .) than wedding activities and I totally do the ‘wave in front of face for approval’ thing, too. It’s just how it is, he requests it. “Just have sit downs with me every once in a while and keep me posted and we can talk about big decisions as they come up.” BUT EVERYTHING IS A BIG DECISION!!! I kid. . .sort of ;) 3. I love that entire conversation with your Mom. Hilarious.

  3. Member
    KYbride86 307 posts, Helper bee @ 9:47 am

    Haha, this was hilarious! Your mom sounds so sweet — and it least it sounds like she’s the funny, sweet kind of overinvolved and not the mean, judgy kind.

    My mom has been really great about everything, but I have a friendzilla. She’s super sweet but is just nuts! She loves weddings and is really excited to help plan one because she doesn’t have any sisters. She sent my sister (my MOH) a three-page email about ideas for the bachelorette party, including what color outfits they should all wear so I “stand out.” I had no words…

  4. Member
    mstreasure 1655 posts, Bumble bee @ 9:59 am

    Team zucchini! hahaha My mom is on the opposite end of the spectrum, but my future mother-in-law is like your mom. Fortunately, we’ve been able to keep her momzilla tendencies under wraps for the most part.

  5. Member
    FutureMrsKamilDark 303 posts, Helper bee @ 10:05 am

    Most definitely team asparagus! I’ve never liked zucchini. Sorry. However, I don’t deal with a momzilla either. My mom couldn’t be less interested in our wedding. She’s happy that we’re together and that we’re getting married, but she wants us to do whatever makes us happy. I guess I got lucky.

  6. Member
    bridesmomma 433 posts, Helper bee @ 10:16 am

    Ha ha, loved your post! This could have totally been written about me! ;-)

  7. Member
    gonnabeMrsHH 466 posts, Helper bee @ 12:08 pm

    LOL…great post…really laughed out loud :)

  8. Member
    cicijapan 263 posts, Helper bee @ 6:24 pm

    Great post! My mom can be a bit of a control freak too. Also, team asparagus !

  9. Member
    MrsKeAloha 1044 posts, Bumble bee @ 10:39 am

    I had a groomzilla… The whole weekend.. And a soon to be sister in law being horrible. Oh the heartache… And a bridesmaid who thought it was funny she was trash talking me and drunk throughout every event.
    At least your mother is filled with love for you. The two women causing grief were all about themselves. Including snubbing my family. Thankfully my father in law and brother in laws and nieces and nephews know how to go above and beyond.. My new husband too.

  10. Member
    MrsKeAloha 1044 posts, Bumble bee @ 10:40 am

    Oops meant groom mamazilla. My groom is wonderful

  11. Member
    mink 2178 posts, Buzzing bee @ 9:53 am

    Aw, I’m kind of jealous! My mother is almost 70 and while she’s still pretty spry, she lives 6.5 hours away (8 if she’s driving) and wasn’t very involved by today’s standards.

  12. Guest Icon Guest
    Nicole, Guest @ 10:26 am

    Ok, so I think I have QUEEN momzilla on my hands….unfortunatley she wanted to be SO involved that I finally put my foot down and now the whole wedding has halted and I haven’t spoken to her in 5 months, and my fiance and I are struggling to envision and make a wedding happen on our own, especially in this economy. She is 52, menopausal, wanting it to be HER wedding and I am completly at a loss for what to do. I am one of many granchildren, but my fiance is the only one on his side and I don’t want his family to miss out of a traditional wedding. Do I just call her and deal wiht the momzilla to get through it or stand my ground? How can I reconnect and make this work? HELP!

  13. Member
    Miss Pez 267 posts, Helper bee @ 12:16 pm

    Love this! I once told my mom that I was going to Elope (havent yet) and she threw a temper tantrum! SHe said, ” You are not about to rob me of throwing my baby girl a wedding.” I said mom, I understand but I am paying for everything, please relax. Tehe. Gotta love our moms!

    Btw, I am team for either Asparagus or Zuchinni. Preferably grilled. Bot baked. Not fried. But grilled to give it that crispy crunchy texture. In case you are wondering. Haha.

  14. Guest Icon Guest
    September bride, Guest @ 6:19 pm

    My mom wanted to sit in the second row at the church but she also doesn’t want anyone sitting in the first row… becausd that is for the mother of the bride and groom

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