Disclaimer: Yes, my mother reads my blog. Yes, a majority of what is in the post to follow I have said to her in person so none of this will come as a shock to her. This is *mostly* meant in jest. If there is one thing you should know about me it’s to never take me too seriously. Right, Mom?!
Miss Mink talked a little bit about mothers not being present during wedding planning, but what happens when you have a mother on the other end of the spectrum? You get a Momzilla, that’s what happens.
You guys all know how important my family is to me, so I’m sure it won’t come as a surprise that my mom and I are super close. Even though we are separated by a three-hour drive, we see each other often and call each other weekly (although with the wedding approaching our phone calls have increased in frequency).
Momma Coyote and me at my bridal shower last month.
Now, my mom is a pretty rational person (most of the time). She has a good head on her shoulders and I’ve always looked up to her and respected her greatly. But in the months following my engagement something changed, and it is clear to me that Momma Coyote has been bitten by the WIC bug. Badly. This lady wants ALL THE THINGS and she’s not afraid to say it.
In fact just the other night she called me and said, “You know, I was talking to my friend about her daughter’s wedding and they made these bags for the guests who booked a hotel room and put all sorts of fun things into them! Like homemade cookies!”
Miss Coyote: “Oh yeah, those are called welcome bags…I’ve heard of them before.”
Momma Coyote: “We should do that!”
Miss Coyote: “Mom, we have just over a month left til the wedding. I still have to assemble the favors and print the programs and menus. Oh and there’s that pesky little full-time job that’s been taking up a lot of my time. I think it’s a nice touch, but there just isn’t enough time. I think it’s OK to do without.”
Momma Coyote: “Well I can do them! We wouldn’t really need that many…”
Miss Coyote: “OK, if you really want to do them you can. But you’ve got enough on your plate right now and I just think they’re going to end up being really time consuming.”
Momma Coyote: “No you’re right. It’s just another thing to buy anyway.” Laughter. And a pause. She’s thinking. This can’t be good. “How about bathroom baskets?!?!”
Miss Coyote: “Sigh.”
I love you Momma, but you’re drivin’ me crazy!
My mom has been with me for every step of our wedding journey. Mr. Coyote is an amazing person and he has many wonderful qualities, but planning a wedding is not one of them. Basically, I make all major decisions, wave them in front of his face for approval, and move on. I’d love for him to be more involved in the planning, but he has told me from day one that he’s just not that interested. And although my bridesmaids have been super supportive, the reality is they just don’t care about all the minute details that go into a wedding. And to be honest, half the time I don’t really care either! That’s where Momma Coyote comes in. This woman is interested in EVERY aspect of wedding planning…maybe even a little too interested.
Need another example? A few months ago we all sat down together to finalize the menu. Each entree comes with a vegetable and a starch. I thought the zucchini sounded nice for the vegetable side, but Momma Coyote really wanted the asparagus. We went back and forth a bit until I relented. I added it to the list of things-about-the-wedding-that-I-really-don’t-care-about and moved on. That is until last weekend when the phone rang:
Momma Coyote: “Miss Coyote? I’m in the car. I’m driving to your grandparents’ house and all of a sudden I thought of something. I know we decided on asparagus, but now I think maybe we should do the zucchini. Do you think people would prefer zucchini or asparagus?”
Miss Coyote: “Zucchini. That’s why I suggested it.”
Momma Coyote: “Yea, you know I’m just not sure. I think people like both. And I think the asparagus will be presented better on the plate.”
Miss Coyote: “Right. That’s why we decided on asparagus.”
Momma Coyote: “But what if people don’t like asparagus? Maybe more people like zucchini. I wish we could take a poll and see what people like better.”
Miss Coyote: “Mom, I don’t care. But we’ve only got a month left and we need to tell the venue if we’re going to change our minds. I don’t care which one you pick, you really just need to make a decision.” (I can’t believe I just said to my mom regarding a decision for my own dang wedding.)
This went on for a few minutes and a decision has yet to be made concerning the asparagus-zucchini debate. In fact, my friends are so excited about the outcome that they are in the process of creating “Team Asparagus” and “Team Zucchini” shirts to don on the big day. It’s going to be an all out vegetable war. In the meantime a separate battle has cropped up pitting the penne against the cavatelli.
Here’s the thing. I really appreciate that my mom is so interested in the wedding. Planning a wedding can be an incredibly lonely process when your friends are single and your groom is more interested in Diablo 3 than if the program should have a purple or silver border. I consider myself very lucky to have someone who is genuinely invested in our wedding to bounce ideas off of. And if that means letting Momma Coyote make decisions about asparagus or zucchini or favors or bathroom baskets then so be it. It makes her happy, and at the end of the day these decisions are just not that important to me. All I really care about it is that 20-minute little ceremony that will bond Mr. Coyote and me together as husband and wife. Everything else is just fluff.
But for Momzilla, it’s the most important part of the day.
Is anyone else struggling with a Momzilla?