Weddings For Anxious Introverts

A few weeks ago we were talking with friends who got married about a year ago. The topic moved to weddings, and the former groom said, “You won’t have time to be nervous. It all just goes by so quickly.”

“You don’t get it,” I replied. “When I think about the wedding itself I actually start to feel panicky, just sitting here.”

It’s true. I think I have a touch more anxiety than the usual pre-wedding jitters. Mr. Dragon is the same way. Neither of us can really start thinking about what it’s going to be like to walk down the aisle/wait at the front without having to shut it down immediately because we start feeling terror.

I really am excited about our wedding, as is Mr. Dragon. It’s just that as the days tick by, everything is becoming a lot more real instead of that nice, fuzzy abstract image of wedded bliss.

It’s not that we don’t want to get married, it’s just that there are going to be SO MANY PEOPLE staring at me. At least, that’s my problem. Mr. Dragon gets nervous when he’s stuck in a situation he can’t gracefully duck out of, and one can’t really gracefully duck out of a wedding when one is the groom. And now I’m at the point where I’m anxious about what to do if he faints from anxiety and we’re stuck in an anxiety cycle.

Another problem for me? I’m an introvert. I like small groups, quiet get-togethers, controlled scenes where I’m not bombarded by fifty people trying to hug me, talk to me, or otherwise engage with me. How the heck do introverts tackle weddings?!

I’m afraid that, with all the people to see and things to do before the wedding—and during the wedding—that I’m going to melt down into a puddle of leave-me-alone and hyperventilate. I’m really hoping that blissful bride feeling takes over before that can happen.

So, hive, can you help me out? Are there any fellow panicked people/introverts out there who successfully made it through their own wedding without fainting or hiding in the bathroom? I’m willing to entertain any and all coping mechanisms. Even writing this entry has me feeling a bit panicked!


Mrs. Dragon

Sioux Lookout/Brockville, ON
Wedding Date:
September 2012
Engagement Photos: The Not Quite Perfect Ones
Gallery of the Day

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  1. Member
    Future MrsB 865 posts, Busy bee @ 12:10 pm

    @anemonie: Don’t worry about the aisle. Just look at your FI and you’ll be at the end before you know it. All I remember from mine was searching for his face to see his reaction, and then it felt like a second later I was there next to him. I don’t think I looked at anything other than him. No one will expect you to acknowledge them. If you happen to look at someone else, just smile.

  2. Guest Icon Guest
    Mrs.Farmer, Guest @ 1:36 pm

    I was the exact same way when I got married last year! A couple months before the wedding I felt so anxious about our ceremony and standing up in front of everyone. The “What if’s” were starting to take over. My Aunt is a homeopath and recommended I get some “rescue remedy” drops at Whole Foods. They are basically a natural stress relief (liquid drops that are made of all natural stress relief’s like flowers etc.) You put a couple drops under your tounge and it helps ease any anxiety, stress you’re feeling. It totally helped and I was fine the day of my wedding. Once I saw my soon to be husband standing there, I focused soley on him and made it through. Best day of my life! Don’t worry!

  3. Member
    repeart 8 posts, Newbee @ 2:45 pm

    This post describes my feelings exactly — I’m so glad I’m not the only person out there feeling like this!

    Thank you for sharing <3

  4. Member
    HummusGal 178 posts, Blushing bee @ 6:56 pm

    Thanks for this post, I loved reading all of the responses… and may refer back to it closer to the big day for me :) Good luck ladies!

    PS – @Mrs.Farmer: Totally going to look into that Whole Foods remedy!! Thanks for sharing.

  5. Member
    Lakeside003 1673 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:46 am

    I’m so nervous just to be a guest at a wedding… my SO is a groomsman and the bride is his cousin, groom is his best friend. I’m SO anxious to go to the wedding and it’s today! They have a guest list of nearly 150 and I know about 3 people total… I’m super nervous because the bride changed her mind from letting SO’s sit with the bridal party for the reception and also the ride to the reception, so now I have to drive over an hour away, show up to a large wedding, not know anyone, sit by strangers, wait 3.5 hours for the reception (with no where to go since it’s out in the middle of the country) Drive ANOTHER hour to the reception alone, and have no clue who I’m supposed to sit by for the dinner. It’s utterly terrifying for me and it makes me tear up and have a panic attack thinking about being alone in a crowd of strangers… Idk how I’m going to deal… The groom said it’s ok if I just go to the reception dance but then I feel bad for not attending the wedding and having that memory. It’s not that I don’t want to see the ceremony, it’s just that I’m horribly terrified and afraid I’m going to have a panic attack around strangers and have no where to go and no one to talk to!

  6. Member
    sweetbee29 525 posts, Busy bee @ 5:44 am

    @ crisy- I probably wouldn’t show up. If they say anything about you RSVPing yes and not showing, I would let them know that you committed based on the prior info that you would be driving in and sitting with your S.O. For me, attending wouldn’t be worth a panic attack

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