When it came to serving meals, we assumed that our venue would follow the protocol we’ve seen in use at every wedding we’ve attended in the area. Guests would pick up escort cards, and their meal selection would be indicated by a jewel on their card. I realized that some couples assign specific seats for their guests, but we could only remember escort cards and figured that was the way things went in Charlottesville. I created our fabric-covered escort card board to put a slight twist on the practice and bought ribbon to match the fabric for hanging the cards and colored jewels to attach to them once we knew what meals our guests wanted.
Out tasting came and went and invitations went out. Once we had all of our replies, we met with the venue to give a final head count and numbers for the different kinds of meals that would be served. This is when things came to a halt.
Eighteen days before our wedding, we were told that the venue required us to assign seats and provide a diagram showing what meal was being sent to each seat. Here’s a snippet of the example we were given:
I don’t know if I was more upset about their practice or about the fact that they were telling me about it with such short notice. At that point, a totally different Miss Mink emerged. We’re talking total metamorphosis, my friends. I looked at the venue representative, the same one we met with 16 months prior, and told her it just wouldn’t be possible to change our seating plans.
It was a surreal moment for me. When brides in the Weddingbee forum seek advice for dealing with people who want to change plans they’ve already made, I often tell them to say, “I’m sorry, but it just isn’t possible.” I never imagined that I’d be saying those words myself.
I understood that the venue had trained their staff to serve in a certain manner. I imagine they established their practices soon after they opened. Had that information been shared with us or our planner early on, we could have made adjustments.
From that meeting, the idea of using ribbon to indicate meal preferences arose. The venue was worried about the speed of serving, so they asked that we tell our guests to hang their cards on their chairs so staff could tell what meal was going to each guest as they approached a table. We just needed to make sure guests would hang their cards on their chairs.
As we drove away from the venue, I mentally designed a sign that might make the escort cards work. I looked up a picture of a Chiavari chair and sketched one as soon as we got back to the office and tucked it away to look at again when I got home. Once home, I worked on the wording for the sign and tried to copy the sketch I made at work. It wasn’t going well.
Photo by Mrs. Mink
I remembered when Mrs. Hawk used a pencil-transfer method to get letters onto her chair signs and did the same with the chair picture.
Photos by Mrs. Mink
I colored it in and made a mini escort card to “hang” on the picture of the chair. I thought it was a cute way to explain something that might seem a little strange to our guests.
Photo by Mrs. Mink
After mounting the sign on a scrap of fabric that Michelle Duncan had left over from making bridesmaid clutches, it was ready to be framed. I made a sign for our favor table at the time time.
Photo by Mrs. Mink
The situation wasn’t ideal, but I think we handled it well. Meal service wasn’t entirely smooth. We had to switch two plates at our head table, and I noticed that my parents’ table was not the second table served, which had been our instruction. With so many great hors d’oeuvres and a great selection of beer and wine being served, no one should have felt desperately hungry and therefore gotten upset about a slightly slow service.
Photo by Amanda Gray of Ashley Baber Weddings / Used with permission
Did you have any last-minute surprises that you had to handle? Did you have a creative solution for a problem at the 11th hour of your wedding planning?
You are so much nicer than me. At this point in the planning process my answer is just: No. No that won’t work. No. No, you should have told me at our six month meeting or three month meeting. Not two weeks before the wedding. Just No.
Wow, that was odd they didn’t say anything about it!
I’m glad everything worked out, I think the sign is really cute! 
Yup. I had the exact same issue that you had. Two weeks before the wedding I was told that seats need to be assigned. You handled it much more diplomatically than I did. Had they told me at the 3 month meeting that this needed to be done, I’d have adjusted. So we just went with what was already in place and the venue was less than thrilled with me. Eh…..so be it.
Glad you figured out a solution that worked for you and your venue, it’s so frustrating when they throw something at you so close to the end and act like you should have known that all along.
@Sara: I had been expecting SOME sort of bump in the road. Up to that point, everything had been eerily smooth.
@Miss T-Rex: We signed with this venue before it opened and while we thought they’d remembered how eager we were for them to open from day one, perhaps they forgot how few details they gave us when we signed our contract.
@StarryNight2011: WOW! So I’m not alone?!? I usually shy away from confrontation in person (in writing, I’m fine), so I was pretty proud of myself for handling things in person, without budging. I’m glad it worked out for you, too!
@Mrs. Pony:I know! It upset me that our most expensive vendor was the one that was causing so much stress. One of our friends who owns a catering business, when we told him what was going on, said that what the bride wants goes, as long as it doesn’t put the staff in a bad situation. He didn’t see any problem with doing things the way every other venue in the area does.
Wow good for you – I would have been annoyed at that too! Your solution was perfect!!
@Mrs. Mink: Nope, you are not alone. Usually I am very non-confrontational too, but 2 weeks before the wedding?!? Seriously, if that’s their policy they should make clients aware of it sooner rather than later. No one I talked to about it at the time had ever been to a wedding where the table AND the seat were assigned, so I didn’t feel too bad about standing my ground. 
Loved your solution though! I wish I had thought of something like that!
Um – the sign is freakin’ adorable! And I’m proud of you for standing your ground and rolling with the punches.
I’m really impressed with the way you handled it. Most of all, I love your Chiavari sketch with the demonstration card you hang.
Ha ha, you are way nicer than me. I got married on Sunday. On Tuesday, they told me I had to assign seats. I told her ‘NO!’ and that’s the last you are going to hear on the subject. I couldn’t believe my ears. I had already made the menu, done my escort cards and everything. I was so not doing place cards. I wasn’t really implacable, I just explained that I had an African wedding on Saturday and the Country Club wedding on Sunday and I couldn’t deal with her. They ended up serving both entrees on one plate Not the best option but what can one do??
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How odd that your venue would be unable to properly serve your guests. I don’t know that I’ve ever been to a wedding that didn’t use a sticker, jewel, or design to indicate food selection at a seated meal. It’s been very rare for us to have specific assigned seating at the table, and when I think of those rare events, I also know that people are known to swap places, so having a piece of paper that was written based on an old chart, and not on the actual event would be useless!
Literally the last event that I attended that had assigned seating, I discovered that after the event multiple people had swapped locations, and the end result was that I ended up not seated with my family, and we think that there were multiple tables swapped as well as seat swaps!
May I ask what font you used for you “Please hang you..” sign? Thank you
wow it all sounds so complicated. In Australia the way they have done it at every single wedding i have been to is you have no choice as a bride/groom on who gets what. from a menu offered you may select say 2 dishes from a choice of 6-8. Mine is coming up next year and i have chosen a chicken and beef as my 2 dishes, what they then do is alternate chicken beef chicken beef, so on a table of 8 there will be 4 chicken and 4 beef. vegetarians or special diets are dealt with specially (this is usually only 1 or 2 guests). So basically once dishes are served the guests just swap amongst themselves should they want, usually with their partner whom they bully into it etc. for Entrees the same deal. It always works well and i guess people just accept it as thats what they are used too. Im glad it all worked out for you in the end.
“I’m sorry, but it just isn’t possible.”….. I’d like to use that on my FMIL!!!
I am glad you were able to come up with such a cute solution, but boo to the venue for not giving you much notice!
That is insane. At every wedding I have even been to (that is not a buffet), the servers come around after guests are seated. They ask what your pre-selected dish was, or they take your order right there. It works quite well. I had never heard of the escort cards indicating a meal choice before reading WB.
Anyway that was a great idea under pressure, I am glad it worked out!
Mrs. Mink, Charlottesville, Virginia Age and Occupation: 34, College Administrator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 40, Craft Beer Consultant Engagement Date: November 26, 2010 Wedding Date: June 2012 Venue: Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards About Me: I left a pre-war brownstone in Boston six years ago to live in a funky, Southern city where Thomas Jefferson, Dave Matthews, and urban chicken keepers enjoy equal social standing. I still love my Patriots and Red Sox, but have fallen in love with Virginia. I work in education and specialize in integrating technology into my work to improve the student experience. I’m a diehard blogger, animal lover, jamband follower, and DIYer. I paint to relax and have transferred by energy from home projects to wedding projects in recent months. When Mr. Mink and I started talking about marriage, we knew our wedding would be outdoors, that my golden retriever would be part of the day, and that the music would be fantastic. We’ve taken a few risks during our planning process and we’ve been enjoying the process immensely!
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