We’re nine days out.
I just woke up in a cold sweat, having had the worst wedding nightmare of all time. Fiancee Eagle has had plenty of wedding nightmares, and I used to have them about a year ago. I once dreamt we got married in a pool and the centerpieces were those floating containers that hold your beer.
Image via Home Wet Bar
Fiancee Eagle has had several dreams that we get to the wedding and it has been changed to be a “Slip ‘d Slide” wedding. Ya know, those long plastic backyard “aisles” that make perfect sense for a bride to go down, right?
Image via Crazy Sales
But last night’s dream was different. It was more real. Fiancee Eagle tripped twice going down the aisle, my dress got hacked into two pieces because the alterations were so difficult, and my mom made them glue fake brown flowers to the bust. Then, our wedding got moved to a condemned building and rats were crawling all over everyone. Because I work in research, and know how to ethically sacrifice (kill) rodents, my mom asked me to kill the rats with my bare hands in my dress. Our centerpieces weren’t completed; rather I thought I could just put the flowers in the teapots at the venue. I couldn’t find my brooch bouquet so I walked down the aisle grasping a television remote.
It was all sorts of horrible, hive. I woke up almost ready to vomit.
I think clearly I’m concerned about my dress (which I’m picking up from alterations tomorrow), that it may rain and we’ll have to move inside…that our flowers won’t get done (we’re buying the flowers wholesale and making our centerpieces ourselves), and that somehow my brooch bouquet just isn’t going to work out. Also our previous dreams center around water—I think we’re both afraid it’s going to rain!
I need a (strong) drink. Some whiskey to be exact.
Did you have wedding nightmares? Share your funniest or most panic-inducing dream!