Soooo, our first big wedding-related fight discussion occurred about a month after we got engaged. It was a discussion concerning the topic of kilts, which is traditionally formal wedding dress for a Scottish man. Since Mr. Sword didn’t already own a kilt, we had to decide between renting a standard tartan, such as the Black Watch, or designing our own…
Image via Wikipedia
One of us thinks it’s too expensive to design a custom-made kilt and get it legally registered in Mr. Sword’s last name. The other person thinks it’s worth the money for a lifetime of family memories. Can you guess who is on what side?
My logical, realistic, super-smart Scottish fiancé believes we should NOT go the custom route simply because we cannot afford it. He says it’s something we can do in three years time. My opinion is this: When is there ever an extra 1,500 dollars lying around to spend on a specially made tartan fabric and all the accoutrements that go with it (and trust me there’s a lot of things, including but not limited to a man purse and a knife type thing). There is always something expensive to buy no matter what the stage in life, e.g., car, house, babies, etc., so why not now? Why not have the beautiful memories captured on film of this one-of-kind kilt for generations and generations to come? This isn’t for us—this is for our kids who are going to grow up learning about both America and Scotland, and this is for Mr. Sword’s mum and dad, for his wee sister and her future family, for my family, for everyone!!
I close my eyes and I can picture my future with Mr. Sword, and I can see our adorable (albeit pale) children, and I get tears in my eyes. While I know it’s a bit soon to start talking about kids, I can’t think of a better way to start our new life together than with my future husband wearing a kilt representing his Scottish last name (and my new last name!). Of course a custom-made tartan fabric is not the most-budget friendly item, especially when most grooms spend a lot less on a suit or a tux rental. But I would be so proud to have his family name attached to his wedding garb.
Photo by Pink Sugar Photography/ via Edmonton Wedding Photographers
So we were stuck, at a crossroads. And soon Mr. Sword was heading back to Scotland to renew his visa. I was going to visit him for a week while he was there, and I thought it would be a perfect time to discuss the kilt options again!
I knew just how serious I had become when I started begging Mr. Sword to rearrange some of the money in our budget. I suggested we nix a videographer and also take money from my dress budget (yikes). It was that important to me!
Is anyone else trying to incorporate some part of their partner’s culture into the wedding clothing? Who or what (if any) is your obstacle?
Wow, this is such an interesting post: it’s really cool that you want to represent your fiance’s culture so much in your wedding, and getting his own tartan sounds like a great investment. I’m not Scottish myself, nor do I or my partner identify strongly with any culture, but I do go to a school with very strong Scottish roots: my college even has its own tartan, so I know it’s a huge deal! Good luck!
Am I understanding correctly that he is not from a clan that already has a tartan? You are proposing the creation if a brand new tartan?
From experience looking into it, it would cost a LOT more than $1500 to have a tartan designed, registered with the Tartan Authority and then milled into even just one kilt. A standard kilt outfit is usually between $900 – $1200 (£600-£800) to have made in an *existing* tartan.
My fiance doesn’t have a family tartan, and we didn’t care for the tartan of his town, so we chose one in colors we liked that had meaning to us. As it turns out, it’s only legally milled by one mill (Lochcarron) and our kilt budget had to increase a bit. In the end, having a kilt made rather than rent is quite special (my fiance never owned his own in the past), but even with a less-usual available tartan his outfit cost more than my dress!
Best of luck with whatever you decide!
My FI is a pipe major of a band on the East Coast. If you go to a reputable supplier, you should be able to rent a kilt in close to 100 different tartans. You can also rent all of the accessories to go with it. You can try O’Kane Outfitters, Pipeline or the Piper’s Cove.
I agree with SoontobeMrsBagpiper above, you should be able to rent different tartans. Also like Guest above I wasnt sure if you were saying you are paying to create a tartan pattern or to create a kilt using his family tartan. You could also incorporate other things such a family crest you could put up on the wall with the tartan design on it. You can also buy Tartan ties and tartan scarves with his family tartan on it.
You make a good argument for having a special kilt. It’s interesting to hear someone argue to spend a fortune on the groom’s attire, when that privilege is usually reserved for the bride. 
I had no idea that you could design a brand new tartan! Crazy. My Fiance’ got a custom one made in his clan tartan, but if he didn’t have one I think we would have gone with black watch or something because of expenses. We are on a very very tight budget.
If you are designing a new tartan that the whole family could go on to use (does he have any siblings that might use it in their OWN weddings someday?) is there a possibility that they might chip in because it will be a part of the whole family?
Just wondering if he has a particularly common Scottish name. Once upon a time, families could use the tartan of their clan, whether or not they had the same surname as said clan. Maybe his ancestry used another clan’s.
I think it is so great that you want to invest so much into your future family name and culture, it will be something you treasure for years!
I find the idea of manufacturing an entirely new tartan strange – its like manufacturing a family history. You know, from someone who does have a family tartan, another point of pride for Scots is being cheap!
We’re doing a Scottish handfasting ceremony as part of our wedding. FI decided that he didn’t want to wear a kilt which is good because his tartan totally doesn’t match our colors! lol
My sweetness has requested a Claddaugh ring for his wedding ring (a bow to my Irish heritage), and I’m including my tartan around my flowers. Should he not get his kilt to go with his Army dress blues (apparently that’s allowed because he’s retired) in time, then I’ll include his tartan with mine.
Wow, lots of good ideas! To answer a few questions, Mr. Sword’s last name is not associated with any clan, in fact his last name could be originally English or Canadian, we are unsure. His family has been living in Scotland for generations but no one has ever coined a family kilt.
I might have put the price in dollars when it was supposed to be closer 1500 pounds, oops!
It’s so great to see all the UK knowledge! As a Scandinavian girl I am definitely still learning!
Hi, please dont take this the wrong way as its very sweet to want to honour your FI but it is a bit strange to ‘create’ a tartan as it is part of history for families through generations and each part of it tells a story. I am only part scottish (& Irish) and mostly feel like a NZer, but my FI is half scottish also. Your FI;s family will have some affliation to an area and that area will have a tartan so could you make use of that? Or what about his family crest/motto? You could research that. You should be able to find out the root of his surname by doing a google search.
My fiancé is Korean-American, and we will wear Korean hanboks at part of our reception. In Korean tradition the groom’s parents buy the couples hanboks for their wedding as a gift. We were very grateful for this because our two combined hanboks were over $2,000! They are beautiful though and we are excited to wear them. We have cake toppers of a little couple in Korean wedding hanboks since we will cut the cake while wearing them. We are also incorporating italian food and cannolis in addition to an Irish prayer and blessing to incorporate my culture.
I think it is fun to incorporate cultures into the wedding if it fits and is affordable! Just have open communication with your fiancé and both families, also be willing to compromise on all sides!
A little history on the Argyll Campbell Tartan (or blackwatch)
http://www.ccsna.org/jsep50a.htm
Thought you might find it interesting =)
That’s a wonderful idea! I totally understand why you’d want to make your own. We are both mutts, we have very mixed roots, trying to find one just culture to identify with would be quite hard. So we are having a very American wedding, outside at an old fort. But one tradition I wanted to keep alive is the luckenbooth brooch. It’s a Scottish tradition that the groom gives his bride the brooch and she wears it pinned to her shawl when they marry. For good luck they pin it to the baby’s blanket when it is baptized.
@Mrs.Ebers: Luckenbooth brooches are so so pretty. I hope to get one!
It’s so fantastic that this kilt is so important to you! I hope Mr. Sword understand its importance considering you’re willing to sacrifice other parts of your budget (including dress) for it!
Mrs. Sword, Chicago Age and Occupation: 28, Nanny/Actress Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Software Engineer Engagement Date: February 19, 2012 Wedding Date: March 2013 Venue: Embassy Suites Bloomington West in Bloomington, MN About Me: I am a true girly-girl originally from the great state of Minnesota and my fiancé hails from the beautiful country of Scotland. We met and fell in love in our favorite city, Chicago, and are having a blast blending our cultures for "A Highland Fairy Tale" wedding! We are truly a case of opposites attract in that he’s a world traveling introvert and I’m a social butterfly who is never too far from home. We both love hanging out with family and friends, fine dining, and laughing at ourselves. He drinks a lot of beer and I talk too much. We wouldn’t have it any other way!
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