What Type of Bride Are You?

You’ve all heard of the phenomenon that is Bridezilla, right?? Tell me you’ve seen the TV show! It’s a train wreck of a show but a guilty pleasure I used to enjoy. It’s been a long time since I’ve watched it (I swear!). I remember that while some episodes are just plain sad, some are freaking hilarious. Some of the brides are batsh!t crazy, and others just seem to be surrounded by idiots. I’m embarrassed to admit this, but Mr. Sword and I have a favorite Bridezilla. It’s true, he watched a few by default back when we were first dating. (Sorry, hunny!)

To this day if we need a good laugh we quote this one episode of the show. The premise is a cute, petite, dark-haired girl’s mom does not have a dress to wear a mere three days before the wedding. The mom comes in ON THE MORNING OF, while the bride is getting ready, and displays the dress she has recently purchased. The daughter can’t help but shout (and this is my favorite part), “AHHHH, MOM, YOUR DRESS IS WHITE!! OHMIGOD MOM, YOUR DRESS IS WHITE!!! MAA-OM! OHMIGOD!!!” Thankfully, the daughter apologizes for her behavior and the mom ends up wearing said white dress and all is well in the end. BUT STILL. What MOB buys a white dress??

A Bridezilla is surely not the only type of bride! There are so many, in fact, that I decided to make a list. Where do you fit in? Are you a mixture of two? I can see bits of myself in every single one, and I don’t judge—to each bride her own!! I love all things bridal, even the crazies! :)

Wind-up Wendy: This is a girl who doesn’t care to plan. She pretends to like planning but does nothing for weeks and then when someone asks her about her wedding, she freaks out and realizes how behind she is, which causes her to wind up and get some work done! But once that momentum stops, she does nothing for a while until someone asks, and the process starts all over again”¦

Control-Freak Carmen: This bride does every little thing herself. She is sooo grateful and appreciative when help is offered, but that doesn’t mean she’ll take it. If you want something done right, you better do it yourself and that’s exactly what she does.

Naive Nelly: This bride-to-be is constantly walking around in a state of shock and wonder. She has no idea why the food has to cost that much or how she’ll ever afford a photographer. She can’t believe the tax they add to these events, and forget about tipping! Don’t be surprised if she refuses all social events leading up the big day. This girl’s motto is “Save, save, save!”

Sweatshop Susan: This lady is not only working her ass off but everyone around her’s ass too! She is calling in favors from every person she knows to help make her day special, and that includes her fourth cousins and ex-lovers. This bride is not afraid to ask, “Will you help with this or that?” She knows how to delegate and she knows exactly who is right for each role. Better buckle down, work fast, and pray she has a short engagement!

Yes Ma’am Yolanda: This bride is the one who loves to rely on others’ input. She wants to hear that, yes, she looks pretty in her veil, yes, that color goes with her linen choices, and, yes, it’s OK if the band plays that song for her first dance. You can disagree with her, but it might set her back for days, so just say “YES!”

Avant-Garde Anna: What is this bride even doing? We have no clue. But like many before her, this girl is having an offbeat wedding. She is breaking every rule and rewriting every tradition. There might be nothing recognizable at this wedding, but it will be memorable and unique, just the way she likes it!

Barbie Brenda: This bride is planning the most beautiful and elegant wedding you’ve ever seen”¦4,638 times before. She is taking note of beloved traditions and recreating her childhood dreams. To quote one of my favorite girls from TLC’s show, Four Weddings, when a bride is asked a question about the theme of her wedding she stares at them blankly and then responds with, “Ummm, a wedding has a theme. (Pause) It’s called a wedding!?!”

I’m going to say I’m a Control-Freak Carmen mixed with a Barbie Brenda, but who will probably end up more like Avant-Garde Anna and with some Naive Nelly thrown in.

I am sure there are some I’m missing. Any more ideas???

BLOGGER

Mrs. Sword

Location:
Chicago
Wedding Date:
March 2013

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  1. Member
    steph01924 308 posts, Helper bee @ 1:38 pm

    Haha, very cute! Love the little names. It’s too early for me to tell what kind I will be.

  2. Guest Icon Guest
    Susie Q, Guest @ 1:45 pm

    OOOOOHMIGOD! I love bridezillas & loved that episode! :D

    I’m a total control-freak carmen. So much so that I’m doing my flowers myself & plan on going to my reception venue & church to set everything up. Yeaaaaah. Actually, I think I’m going to be veering more towards the title of bridezilla….

  3. Member
    pinkpandabear 931 posts, Busy bee @ 1:47 pm

    I’m going to say that I was equal parts Wind up Wanda, Naive Nelly and Avante Garde Anna. Phew, I’m so glad I won’t have to do this again any time soon!

  4. Member
    kit_kath 1331 posts, Bumble bee @ 1:51 pm

    My SO and I have a favorite Bridzilla that we quote too! I subjected him to a handful of episodes. Our faviorite is a bride had her family/friends over helping make decorations and her mom spilled modge podge on her carpet. She ends up on the phone with her dad yelling/crying about how mom ruined her rug that’s an “original andy warhol”…the rug had an andy warhol design printed on it. Almost everytime I’m crafting he warns me not to get glue on our andy warhol original :)

  5. Member
    iammcdibble 995 posts, Busy bee @ 1:56 pm

    This is awesome! I am definitely a wind-up Wendy. Speaking of which, I really do need to get started on that list again. Oops.

  6. Guest Icon Guest
    KimbeeQ, Guest @ 2:08 pm

    Oh man this is great….I’m a bit of the Wind-up Wendy, though I dont have much time to un-wind any more so I will probably work no stop for the next month or so.

    Control-Freak Carmen, though I was very proud of myself for letting go of the boutonnieres when my crafty neighbor offered to help. I showed her what I had and left her to it (i’m just hoping they turn into what I envisioned)

    Naive Nelly, I knew going in how much everything costs, but I have definitely turned down some girls night out’s so I can Save Save Save!

  7. Member
    priyathescientist 1514 posts, Bumble bee @ 2:26 pm

    THese are cute! I’m pretty sure I’ll turn into control-freak Carmen!

  8. Member
    Beaukat 317 posts, Helper bee @ 2:42 pm

    DEFINITELY a Control-Freak Carmen mixed with Barbie Brenda.

  9. Member
    jbeath1 209 posts, Helper bee @ 2:52 pm

    I am Naive Nelly!

  10. Member
    Mrs. Dragon 813 posts, Busy bee @ 2:59 pm

    Oooh man… I think I’m every one! Haha! My DIY slacking would make me a wind-up Wendy, but my refusal to let other people help sends me to control freak territory!

  11. Member
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 3:21 pm

    @Susie Q: haha I’m sure you’re not a bridezilla!
    @PinkPandaBear: That’s a good mix!
    @Kit_Kath: LOVE that you guys have your fave bridezilla!! That’s so cute.
    @iammcdibble: haha nice!
    @Miss Dragon: haha! Me too, I’m a big mix!

  12. Member
    genie 723 posts, Busy bee @ 3:23 pm

    I’m going to say that I was a Yes Ma’am Yolanda, Barbie Brenda, and a liiiiiiittle of Control-Freak Carmen. Great post, Miss Sword!

  13. Member
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 3:35 pm

    @Mrs. Genie: Finally a Yes Ma’am Yolanda- one of my faves. Thanks Miss Genie!

  14. Member
    amethystmeg 235 posts, Helper bee @ 3:43 pm

    These aren’t types of brides… these are STAGES of bridal madness! I think I went through most of these stages! :) These are hilarious!

  15. Member
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 4:52 pm

    Ha, I love this post! I agree with amethystmeg, I went through most of these stages while planning!

  16. Member
    BeetleGrl215 67 posts, Worker bee @ 5:10 pm

    OH this was the BEST. I am definitely a Wind Up Wendy…I got a lot done at the beginning of planning (12 months out), and then nothing until about a month ago (2 months out.) Full steam ahead!

  17. Member
    mstoadstool 2485 posts, Buzzing bee @ 5:20 pm

    I’m control freak carmen with a bit of Avant-Garden Anne, however I’m Anne just for the locals, internationally I’m Baribie Brenda, meaning I’m doing everything everyone else is doing, but no one in my family has seen it.

  18. Member
    karineh 628 posts, Busy bee @ 5:22 pm

    i am just layed back and having fun. I guess Avant Garde Ann

  19. Member
    coyote 1547 posts, Bumble bee @ 5:37 pm

    OMG Sword, this post is freakin’ hilarious. I am definitely a Wind-Up Wendy and a Barbie Brenda. Hahaha I am still laughing at this.

  20. Member
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 5:42 pm

    @amethystmeg: You’re so right! Everyone feels like each type of bride at least once in the process I bet!
    @carawhelli: There is that weird middle time where you can’t get much done because the big stuff is done, but it’s early for the other stuff!
    @Miss Toadstool: Yea, that makes sense, it depends on what your family deems “avant-garde!”
    @Mrs. Coyote: Haha thanks Coyote! I’m glad you share my sense of humor. :)

  21. Member
    porcupine 633 posts, Busy bee @ 6:53 pm

    Haha, I love this list!! I was definitely a wind-up wendy.

  22. Member
    scepter 333 posts, Helper bee @ 7:25 pm

    This is hilarious! I alternated back and forth between being a Wind-up Wendy and a Control-Freak Carmen. It was a 360 turn, but I made it work lol

  23. Member
    MsMagtoMrsK 52 posts, Worker bee @ 7:28 pm

    Love Bridezillas because it reminds me that I am not too crazy, only a little bit. I am leaning towards being an Avant-Guard Anna because the word “traditional” makes my skin crawl…along with the phrase “dress to impress”, but that is another story…

  24. Member
    sloyourroll 17 posts, Newbee @ 8:12 pm

    I am totally a Control-Freak Carmen and he is an Avant-Garde Andrew. Not sure what we will actually end up asking our attendants to help with, since we both want everything so specifically personalized! We are going multi-cultural esoteric eclectic from ceremony officiated by gay friend to cocktail hour with ethnic music to multiple course family style meal and video game music interlaced throughout the day.

    Thanks for the thought provoking list! :)

  25. Guest Icon Guest
    guest, Guest @ 8:20 pm

    LOL. All true!

  26. Guest Icon Guest
    Taymi, Guest @ 1:24 am

    lol……nice post I’m definitely Barbie Brenda…..

  27. Member
    mcdonald_515 93 posts, Worker bee @ 5:12 am

    Control-Freak Carmen for sure!! I like details and I no I will do them right :)

  28. Member
    MrsPeachMartini 679 posts, Busy bee @ 5:22 am

    LOL Bridezilla is also a guilty pleasure of ours! I think we watched a full marathon one lazy Sunday. I love your categories!!

  29. Member
    AllShookUp 643 posts, Busy bee @ 6:03 am

    I’m adding a new one: Picky Pauline. She used to say she didn’t care about weddings, but now suddenly she wants every detail “just so.” Compromise is not in her vocabulary. Once she has a vision in her head, she’s going to obtain it, come hell or high water. She spends weeks searching Etsy for any one tiny aspect, and won’t quit until she finds exactly what she envisions.

    I’ve been that the entire time. Spent 6 months looking for the “perfect” shoe. Went to every jewelry store and site possible to find the “perfect” ring. Had my guestbook custom made. Threw 37 fits until my mom agreed to spring for manzanita centerpieces instead of flowers. I love every detail about my wedding, but it’s certainly been a process. “No Compromise!!”

  30. Member
    msfairy 976 posts, Busy bee @ 6:11 am

    Haha, I absolutely LOVE this list!! Totally a Carmen with a side of Yolanda and a small dose of Barbie :)

  31. Member
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 9:26 am

    @sloyourroll: Sounds like a wonderful wedding you have planned!
    @AllShookUp: Yay, thanks for adding a new one! Picky Pauline is a great addition to the list. Good luck with your planning!

  32. Member
    dancindiva 130 posts, Blushing bee @ 9:47 am

    Windup Wendy + Sweatshop Susan + Picky Pauline = ME!!!! LMAO

    I also love Bridezillas and in particular the episode you named! OMIGOODD MO-OMMM!

  33. Member
    sjlberry 190 posts, Blushing bee @ 11:00 am

    I would have to say I’m a Control freak Carmen mixed with a Barbie Brenda with a little bit of Naive Nelly.

  34. Member
    jaquita 74 posts, Worker bee @ 11:00 am

    I’d say I’m a Wind-up Wendy, Control-Freak Carmen, and Barbie Brenda.

    I heard about a MOB at David’s Bridal that tried to buy a wedding dress for her MOB dress! The sales associates actually refused to sell it to her.

  35. Member
    Mis Iris 218 posts, Helper bee @ 11:43 am

    This is crazy hilarious…..now people will figure out that I’m not working on the budgets I should be…. lol

  36. Member
    stephk527 987 posts, Busy bee @ 12:17 pm

    @AllShookUp: LOL, that is a HILARIOUS addition.

    I’m also 100% Control-Freak Carmen. I honestly don’t know if anything else comes into play (we still have time, though, haha), because that one is so incredibly accurate.

  37. Member
    alleycat 661 posts, Busy bee @ 3:47 pm

    Hahaha I totally know what episode of Bridezillas you’re talking about. I’ve only ever watched like five episodes (when they were free on demand with my cable) and that was one of them.
    Funny post! I’m definitely Wind-up Wendy, Control Freak Carmen, and Barbie Brenda.

  38. Member
    Mis Iris 218 posts, Helper bee @ 3:58 pm

    You forgot DIY Dottie! You know, the one who starts all kinds of mad DIY projects, and maintains an insanely long list of ideas that may or may not happen. Thats me, and the control freak Carmen…..certainly hope I’m not a bridezilla

  39. Member
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 5:49 pm

    @dancindiva: isn’t she the funniest bridezilla!?!?!
    @Mis Iris: Yea DIY Dottie!! Nice! How could I forget DIY Brides?

  40. Member
    jacofblues 1468 posts, Bumble bee @ 6:59 pm

    I think I am a combination of Naive Nelly (though I know why things costs but I am very save save save!) and Barbie Brenda! Although we are using a lot of traditions we are putting our own spin on things too :)

  41. Member
    Miss Ariel 83 posts, Worker bee @ 7:59 pm

    I feel like I’m a bit of a Wind-up Wendy mixed with a Control-Freak Carmen, which you wouldn’t think would normally go together.

  42. Member
    Firinne 688 posts, Busy bee @ 8:32 am

    Definitely a Control-Freak Carmen with a mix of Avant-Garde Anna! I don’t quit unless everything is the way I want it, even if it’s weird.

  43. Member
    lindseyl06 2962 posts, Sugar bee @ 1:24 pm

    OMG I think I am a mix of everything! Is that even possible??

  44. Member
    kellyb53 21 posts, Newbee @ 2:32 pm

    I was soooo the Control-Freak Carmen, I did it all myself, not even really wanting my mom to help make the vests but knowing there was NO WAY I could find time to get them done. The only thing I didn’t plan to the T was the reception decorations. I told my daughter it was her job to NOT let me turn into a Bridezilla while we decorated the reception hall. My wedding was exactly what I had planned it to be. WITH ONE HUGE exception, my brother was scheduled to be in Idaho fighting wild fires and he didn’t have to go, everyone did a SUPER good job of keep the secret and when he knocked on the hotel door 15 minutes before I was to leave for the church, I cried. It was the most perfect day!

  45. Member
    KtGannon 39 posts, Newbee @ 10:18 pm

    This is so funny! I’m a mix between Control-Freak Carmen, Naive Nelly, and Yes Ma’am Yolanda. In other words, I try to do everything myself, I’m cheap, and I need my mom to love absolutely every choice I make! Haha.

  46. Member
    MapleMoose 6294 posts, Bee Keeper @ 6:07 am

    I’m Control Freak Carmen + Barbie Brenda. Nice to meet you. lol ;)

  47. Member
    pocketsizedriss 5 posts, Newbee @ 8:39 am

    Hahah I love this! I made my FI read it and tell me what he thought. Definitely a combo Control-Freak Carmen and Yes Ma’am Yolanda…I want everything to be perfect and for everyone to like every decision I make. I’m sure I’ll give that up for just being happy as the process goes on! Thanks for the giggles :)

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