The Wedding Dress Chronicles, Part 1: The Bad

The search for my dream dress has been a bit of an ordeal, to put it mildly. Over the course of a year, I’ve tried on over 100 dresses, at nearly a dozen stores in three major cities. To be honest, the process was really stressful and frustrating, and I found myself more anxious at each successive appointment…for the record, that was no help.

Forget “saying yes to the dress.” I said no to lots of dresses, more than I can count. Some were so unflattering on my curvy body I didn’t want to leave the fitting room, much less show pictures on the internet. Others were not nearly as bad, but just didn’t give me the look or feeling I was searching for. I wanted to share some of them with all y’all, with the caveat that these dresses were wrong for me, my figure, and/or the Archer wedding. Just because these dresses were “bad” for me doesn’t mean they are bad dresses. (I don’t want anyone who chose one to get their feelings hurt just because I like themed blog posts and have a flair for drama.)

The discards included…

Photo Jun 25, 2012 6_53 PM

Winnie Couture Emily, style 9133

I liked the straps and amazing low back of this dress, but the stretch chiffon fabric was more casual than I liked, and the snug fit plus the ruching and wrapping was a little sexier than I wanted. Let’s be honest—it was overly booty-licious and more attention-getting than need be.

Photo Jun 25, 2012 6_51 PM

Winnie Couture, style unknown

I don’t know what was going on here—a lot! I tried this dress on when trying to be open minded, but I felt like I was wearing a cream puff—and I wanted it off promptly, as you can tell by the awesome face I am making. The shiny bodice, blingy belt, tiers of ruffles, and the giant floral on the skirt were all overwhelming me.

Photo Jun 25, 2012 6_41 PM

Enzoani, style unknown

Flower Girl C joined us on one dress-shopping trip, and I let her make a selection for me to try on—she felt like such a big girl! She chose this one, and while it was pretty, it was a little traditional and princess-y for me.


Style unknown

This was another dress I tried early on, in the open-minded stage. Honestly—I couldn’t get this off my body fast enough. It was far from comfortable, genuinely looked like I had toilet paper stuck to my feet, and somehow made my body look straight up and down, which is really a practical impossibility. There are women on whom this dress would be a vision—I am not one of them.


Enzoani Fatima

I liked that this dress was lace transitioning into tulle. It would have been far more flattering if the drop waist was not quite so dropped—it made me look very long waisted. I could barely walk or breathe, even in the correctly sized dress, and I felt like this was way too much dress on me.

Photo Jun 25, 2012 6_39 PM

Ramona Keveza dress, style unknown

I love Bridesmaid S’s “Um, I don’t think so” face in the mirror. The salesgirl chose this one off a mannequin as being figure flattering. It looked great in the shop window, but on my body, I looked and felt like I was wearing a couture diaper—not really the look I was going for on my wedding day.

Up next, TWDC continue with Part 2, The Good.

What was the wedding-dress hunt like for you? Did you leave dozens of discards in your wake, or find your dream dress right away?


Mrs. Archer

Los Angeles/New Orleans
Wedding Date:
October 2012
We Do(e): Waking Up and Hair Time
Deerly Beloved: The Elks Model at the Beach


  1. archer Member
    archer 551 posts, Busy bee @ 11:11 pm

    @priyathescientist: sad but accurate- glad i made you giggle!
    @Nicole: thanks dear!
    @Miss Treasure: I work out! lol.
    @Mrs. Funnel Cake: you nailed it sister- it was just a bit too much!
    @MayaBean: honestly? genetics. it is mostly unchanged by diet/exercise… and i’ve had a booty since i was a baby.
    @Erin: you are way too nice!
    @Mrs. Sunhat: no such thing as out of line- i put it out there, literally lol! thanks for the compliment!

  2. archer Member
    archer 551 posts, Busy bee @ 11:43 pm

    @Miss Dragon: thanks, precious!
    @Miss Fairy: right there with you- i friggin hated it. i’m glad you found something you like- i’m sure it looks amazeballs on you!
    @miss narwhal: thanks- it is def hard to miss!
    @SouthernPearl: you are too sweet!
    @Mrs. Fox: hayyy booty every day of my life! lol. thanks!
    @Mis Iris: glad you could relate- i know exactly what you mean!
    @radiolassie82: i totally feel you- i really wish i had enjoyed this process more! im envious of those who love dress shopping!
    @Mrs. Coyote: that is such a lovely thing to say, thanks!

  3. Member
    jacofblues 1468 posts, Bumble bee @ 1:42 pm

    I quite like the Enzoani Fatima one on you but I can see what you mean about the others! The plus side of the bad I found when I went shopping is that you realise what you DONT like, and that can be as important as what you DO like!

  4. Member
    jennicole01 371 posts, Helper bee @ 4:02 pm

    I totally understand your reasons for not wanting the first one for a wedding… but man, your butt looks fantastic!

  5. Member
    pinkprincess1952 15 posts, Newbee @ 3:18 am

    I would say the first one or the last one look the best on you :)

  6. Guest Icon Guest
    blade and soul gold, Guest @ 8:59 pm

    What’s up, just wanted to tell you, I scared this article. It was cool. Keep on! blade and soul gold

  7. Guest Icon Guest
    Kate, Guest @ 10:36 pm

    I am dying to find the Winnie Couture dress “emily 9133″

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