The Wedding Dress Chronicles, Part 1: The Bad

The search for my dream dress has been a bit of an ordeal, to put it mildly. Over the course of a year, I’ve tried on over 100 dresses, at nearly a dozen stores in three major cities. To be honest, the process was really stressful and frustrating, and I found myself more anxious at each successive appointment…for the record, that was no help.

Forget “saying yes to the dress.” I said no to lots of dresses, more than I can count. Some were so unflattering on my curvy body I didn’t want to leave the fitting room, much less show pictures on the internet. Others were not nearly as bad, but just didn’t give me the look or feeling I was searching for. I wanted to share some of them with all y’all, with the caveat that these dresses were wrong for me, my figure, and/or the Archer wedding. Just because these dresses were “bad” for me doesn’t mean they are bad dresses. (I don’t want anyone who chose one to get their feelings hurt just because I like themed blog posts and have a flair for drama.)

The discards included…

Photo Jun 25, 2012 6_53 PM

Winnie Couture Emily, style 9133

I liked the straps and amazing low back of this dress, but the stretch chiffon fabric was more casual than I liked, and the snug fit plus the ruching and wrapping was a little sexier than I wanted. Let’s be honest—it was overly booty-licious and more attention-getting than need be.

Photo Jun 25, 2012 6_51 PM

Winnie Couture, style unknown

I don’t know what was going on here—a lot! I tried this dress on when trying to be open minded, but I felt like I was wearing a cream puff—and I wanted it off promptly, as you can tell by the awesome face I am making. The shiny bodice, blingy belt, tiers of ruffles, and the giant floral on the skirt were all overwhelming me.

Photo Jun 25, 2012 6_41 PM

Enzoani, style unknown

Flower Girl C joined us on one dress-shopping trip, and I let her make a selection for me to try on—she felt like such a big girl! She chose this one, and while it was pretty, it was a little traditional and princess-y for me.


Style unknown

This was another dress I tried early on, in the open-minded stage. Honestly—I couldn’t get this off my body fast enough. It was far from comfortable, genuinely looked like I had toilet paper stuck to my feet, and somehow made my body look straight up and down, which is really a practical impossibility. There are women on whom this dress would be a vision—I am not one of them.


Enzoani Fatima

I liked that this dress was lace transitioning into tulle. It would have been far more flattering if the drop waist was not quite so dropped—it made me look very long waisted. I could barely walk or breathe, even in the correctly sized dress, and I felt like this was way too much dress on me.

Photo Jun 25, 2012 6_39 PM

Ramona Keveza dress, style unknown

I love Bridesmaid S’s “Um, I don’t think so” face in the mirror. The salesgirl chose this one off a mannequin as being figure flattering. It looked great in the shop window, but on my body, I looked and felt like I was wearing a couture diaper—not really the look I was going for on my wedding day.

Up next, TWDC continue with Part 2, The Good.

What was the wedding-dress hunt like for you? Did you leave dozens of discards in your wake, or find your dream dress right away?


Mrs. Archer

Los Angeles/New Orleans
Wedding Date:
October 2012
We Do(e): Waking Up and Hair Time
Deerly Beloved: The Elks Model at the Beach

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  1. Member
    megaleg 27 posts, Newbee @ 4:55 pm

    Dang girl! I have to say you look amazing in that first dress.

  2. Member
    starrynight 896 posts, Busy bee @ 5:02 pm

    Bought the first dress I tried on. I tried on three more afterwards, but went straight back to that first one. And it was NOTHING like I thought I’d end up wearing!

  3. Member
    sleepypanda 60 posts, Worker bee @ 5:03 pm

    I’m so JEALOUS! You have an amazing view from the back in that 1st dress! Speaking as a woman with practically no ass…haha, though I totally understand, it would be way too sexy of a wedding dress for me. But, woo, such a hottie! 😉

  4. Member
    Becky33 166 posts, Blushing bee @ 5:04 pm

    Funnily enough I too actually really like the first dress on you. So did you find the dream dress?
    I would love to know what style you went for.
    I tried on 3 dresses in my first fitting. But I went it there with pretty specific orders. I asked for sweetheart, lace on the top and sort of dribbling down to lace on the bottom edge and v shaped back. I pretty much got all that except I fell in love with mermaid shape on me that day.
    I found my dream dress that day but not my dream price. So I too searched every other store trying to compete. I ended up finding a picture on-line, hunted down the designer, hunted down a store near me where to get it, then ordered it in without even seeing it.
    Crazy hey! But luckily it worked out. I am head over heels in love (Just need to get it altered to fit perfect).
    Best of luck. :)

  5. Member
    the_future_mrs 1909 posts, Buzzing bee @ 5:09 pm

    I looove the first dress on you. And your body. Hot damn, I’d kill for those curves.

    Do you remember how much the first dress was?

  6. Member
    BookishBelle 1629 posts, Bumble bee @ 5:13 pm

    …If it were me I would have bought the first dress, damn girl you look amazing. My one thing was I wanted my body to look good in the dress, I didn’t care what the dress itself looked like lol.

  7. mspony Member
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 5:19 pm

    You look awesome in that first dress, albeit very sexy. I tried on a lot of dresses, sometimes it takes a while to find the perfect gown!

  8. sword Member
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 5:46 pm

    Wow, if this is how you look in the bad ones, I can’t wait to see the good ones! Seriously girl, you are rockin that first dress!

  9. Member
    jilliebean1 889 posts, Busy bee @ 6:24 pm

    I think that first dress is the way to go!

  10. beanstalk Member
    Mrs. Beanstalk 770 posts, Busy bee @ 6:38 pm

    I agree with everyone… that first dress was amazing on you! Can’t wait to see the “good” dresses!

  11. porcupine Member
    porcupine 633 posts, Busy bee @ 6:40 pm

    Seriously, you were made to wear wedding gowns! Bridal model side job? I love all these dresses. If these are the bad I can’t imagine how gorg the good will look!

  12. Member
    sugarbox 226 posts, Helper bee @ 6:53 pm

    I also think the first one dress is good for you,you can choose it.

  13. Member
    MsMagtoMrsK 52 posts, Worker bee @ 7:21 pm

    I am so glad some other bees did not have magical first time dress buying experiences. It has been really hard and I have been looking for months, which feel like years. Thanks for reminding me I am not alone.

  14. Member
    priyathescientist 1514 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:23 pm

    HAHAHAH! I nearly spewed out my tea at “couture diaper”! I’m sorry finding a dress has been a problem. :(

  15. Guest Icon Guest
    Nicole, Guest @ 7:55 pm

    I agree that the first gown is stunning on you! I also liked the one with the ruffled skirt. I thought you pulled it off beautifully! New Orleans is up to the drama! Can’t wait to see your post with the ones you like!

  16. mstreasure Member
    mstreasure 1655 posts, Bumble bee @ 9:40 pm

    In the words of LMFAO: Girl, look at that body!
    Can’t wait to see what you picked!

  17. funnelcake Member
    funnelcake 1171 posts, Bumble bee @ 11:05 pm

    You have such a nice behind to go with that gorgeous back! I hope the final pick shows them off in a toned-down version. I agree the first dress is a little too sexy, but it would have been perfect if you were going for a bootylicious sexy dress! :)

  18. Member
    mayabean 1567 posts, Bumble bee @ 5:18 am

    What’s the secret for a booty like yours? Please tell!

  19. Guest Icon Guest
    Erin, Guest @ 5:57 am

    Holy Crap! While agree with the reasons for not choosing the first dress…WOW…your body is AHHHHHH-MAZING!!

  20. sunhat Member
    sunhat 1453 posts, Bumble bee @ 6:23 am

    Um, I hope I’m not out of line here, but you have a bangin’ booty!! Seriously rocked that first dress but I can agree that it is prob too sexy for your wedding day. But daaayyyymmmmnnnn girl! LOL

  21. msdragon Member
    Mrs. Dragon 814 posts, Busy bee @ 6:33 am

    I love the first dress, but I can see why you wanted something a bit less sexy. You look great in all of them!

  22. msfairy Member
    msfairy 976 posts, Busy bee @ 6:51 am

    Wow, I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who found dress shopping to be utterly horrible lol. I had such a hard time finding a dress (to this day, with a month left, I still like my dress, but never fell in love with a dress). You look great in all of them and I love that you tried on such a wide variety! Looking forward to seeing which one you chose!

  23. Member
    miss narwhal 1297 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:31 am

    Your butt looks AMAZING in the first dress!

  24. Member
    southernpearl 169 posts, Blushing bee @ 9:01 am

    OMG that 1st dress looks AMAZING on you!!! my face was like O_O when I your picture!! Im sooo jealous.

  25. Member
    Beaukat 317 posts, Helper bee @ 9:10 am

    That first dress is AMAZING. You have such a lovely figure!

  26. msfox Member
    msfox 1635 posts, Bumble bee @ 10:21 am

    Hayyyyy booty in the first dress! To be honest, I think a lot of the dresses look great on you! You have one of those bodies where pretty much everything looks good on you.. jealous! But if these were the bad, I’m excited to see the good!!

  27. Member
    Mis Iris 218 posts, Helper bee @ 10:25 am

    @MsMagtoMrsK: I totally feel your pain. I found my dress on the 16th bridal salon. (multiply that by 8-15 dresses per trip….ugggghhhh).

    Love this post, totally cracked me up. I think you look great, but I had lots of similar experiences. I wanted to hide the booty, everyone else wanted to cover it in flashing neon lights. :)

  28. Member
    radiolassie82 65 posts, Worker bee @ 10:26 am

    Like the other girls said, you have an amazing figure! Dress 1 was my fav of the no’s. Just beautiful.

    I too had a tough time finding a dress. 20+ dresses and 7 shops later, I finally found it. Casablanca 1992. I hated shopping. It felt like such a chore, and it shouldn’t. Either the shop was really great, but didn’t have a decent dress, or they had lots of dresses, and sucked at customer service which made me not want to give them my money. Then there was the shop that was WAY outside my budget, and I started crying for wasting an hour drive. We stayed and tried on dresses anyway, but it’s hard to salvage an appointment that starts with unhappy tears. My poor mom still hates that I was such a sourpuss shopping. That’s just how it happens sometimes I guess.

  29. coyote Member
    coyote 1930 posts, Buzzing bee @ 5:16 pm

    Oh honey you are way too hard on yourself… You look so freakin’ gorgeous in ALL of these dresses!! BUT you’re the one wearing it so you should feel and look beautiful when you look in the mirror. I hope you found the perfect dress!

  30. archer Member
    archer 551 posts, Busy bee @ 11:05 pm

    @megaleg: thanks doll!
    @sleepypanda: lucky girl- i would have loved to be one-and-done!
    @sleepypanda: you flatterer… and i’m jealous of you- i wish i could by pants that fit off the rack!
    @Becky33: sounds like you had a great dress experience- keep reading for the rest of mine!
    @the_future_mrs: i’ve got more curves than i know what to do with. and emily was priced a bit under 2k.
    @BookishBelle: i have some body image issues, so i was very concerned with how dresses looked on my body as well as how they made me feel.
    @Mrs. Pony: it was totally worth it for you, you were a VISON!
    @Miss Sword: thanks love!
    @Jilliebean1: i’m glad you like it!
    @Miss Beanstalk: yoou are so sweet! and you won’t be waiting much longer… :)
    @Mrs. Porcupine: you are so sweet! i only wish, if i was taller!
    @sugarbox: thanks, girl!
    @@MsMagtoMrsK: you are definately not alone- i’m right there with you!

  31. archer Member
    archer 551 posts, Busy bee @ 11:11 pm

    @priyathescientist: sad but accurate- glad i made you giggle!
    @Nicole: thanks dear!
    @Miss Treasure: I work out! lol.
    @Mrs. Funnel Cake: you nailed it sister- it was just a bit too much!
    @MayaBean: honestly? genetics. it is mostly unchanged by diet/exercise… and i’ve had a booty since i was a baby.
    @Erin: you are way too nice!
    @Mrs. Sunhat: no such thing as out of line- i put it out there, literally lol! thanks for the compliment!

  32. archer Member
    archer 551 posts, Busy bee @ 11:43 pm

    @Miss Dragon: thanks, precious!
    @Miss Fairy: right there with you- i friggin hated it. i’m glad you found something you like- i’m sure it looks amazeballs on you!
    @miss narwhal: thanks- it is def hard to miss!
    @SouthernPearl: you are too sweet!
    @Mrs. Fox: hayyy booty every day of my life! lol. thanks!
    @Mis Iris: glad you could relate- i know exactly what you mean!
    @radiolassie82: i totally feel you- i really wish i had enjoyed this process more! im envious of those who love dress shopping!
    @Mrs. Coyote: that is such a lovely thing to say, thanks!

  33. Member
    jacofblues 1468 posts, Bumble bee @ 1:42 pm

    I quite like the Enzoani Fatima one on you but I can see what you mean about the others! The plus side of the bad I found when I went shopping is that you realise what you DONT like, and that can be as important as what you DO like!

  34. Member
    jennicole01 371 posts, Helper bee @ 4:02 pm

    I totally understand your reasons for not wanting the first one for a wedding… but man, your butt looks fantastic!

  35. Member
    pinkprincess1952 15 posts, Newbee @ 3:18 am

    I would say the first one or the last one look the best on you :)

  36. Guest Icon Guest
    blade and soul gold, Guest @ 8:59 pm

    What’s up, just wanted to tell you, I scared this article. It was cool. Keep on! blade and soul gold

  37. Guest Icon Guest
    Kate, Guest @ 10:36 pm

    I am dying to find the Winnie Couture dress “emily 9133″

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