Guess what? My parents had a DRY wedding. Yes, as in, alcohol free!! Back in 1979, they got married early on a Sunday morning and hosted a late breakfast sort of meal following their ceremony. They did not serve any booze. While Dad Sword has a beer every once in a while, Mom Sword never drinks; consequently, I am not a huge drinker myself. Growing up NEVER seeing alcohol in the house coupled with a phobia of vomiting leaves little room in my life for binge drinking. But the thing is, I’m marrying this guy:
In Scotland, at a B&B, pre-dinner drink, June 2010
He’s from the United Kingdom, or as I call it, The Land of Drinking.
His 28th birthday hotel/massage surprise
Our engagement party
(all photos personal)
Mr. Sword is a recreational drinker who drinks a lot. Does that make sense?? He rarely gets “wasted” these days (as he says the hangovers are worse in your late 20s), and frankly, just being in a serious relationship leaves less time for going to bars with your buddies. When we go out, Mr. Sword usually drinks beer, sometimes he gets wine with me, but regardless drinks are ordered. At the beginning of our relationship I wasn’t used to the frequency (or quantity for that matter) of his beer intake, but now I remind him to pick up his favorite beer when we’re at the grocery store, I brag about his ability to drink most Americans under the table, and I purposely refrain from drinking so I can drive him home if we are at a friend’s place.
My favorite thing about the Scottish people, (and mind you this is based on my limited experience) is their refusal to drive after drinking. They take great steps to ensure that no one is driving even if they’ve only had one or two. I really respect their diligence, and now it makes so much more sense why Mr. Sword chose to live in an urban area that is within walking distance to tons of restaurants, bars, and pubs.
But what does that have to do with weddings, you ask?!? Well, we have to serve alcohol at our wedding. Not only would the Scottish folk be lost without it, but many of our American friends enjoy drinking as well. However, I’d like to point out that I really dislike the notion that a wedding is merely an excuse to get drunk. A wedding is first and foremost about love, the joining of families, and having one hell of a good time, but if a few drinks will add to the overall enjoyment, I’m on board.
Since my family and I aren’t big drinkers, we decided a good compromise would be to serve beer and wine, and to have two signature drinks that contained liquor. If you’ll remember I’m keeping our wine and beer choices a secret, but I’m too excited to not spill the beans on our signature drinks!
One drink represents Mr. Sword and one represents me. The names will be top secret until the wedding day, but I will say they make us laugh and show off our humorous side. I plan on making a menu of the drink options to display at the bar so people can order them by their fun names.
We will be serving a whiskey sour and a grape vodka chambord with sprite and a lime for our signature drinks. Can you guess which drink goes with each of us? Hint: my drink is going to be a shade of purple to tie in one of our main wedding colors. Yay!! With all of these options, plus free pop (or soda, depending on where you’re from) I’m hoping that everyone will be able to find something they like! If not, there will be a cash bar available (on Mr. Sword’s insistence) so people can buy something else, but I would prefer if no one had to spend any money at the reception (besides bartender tips)!
Interestingly, when I was discussing the distaste and poor etiquette of having a cash bar at a wedding in the US, Mr. Sword’s family and friends told us they rarely get free alcohol at weddings in the UK. I guess it’s too expensive to quench the thirst of that many Scots!! (Hehehe. 
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Is anyone having a dry wedding? If you are doing signature drinks, how are you naming them?
OMG I have a complete phobia of vomiting too! And it definitely prevents me from drinking a lot!! I don’t even like being around drunk people if there’s a chance they might throw up. It’s such a bad phobia lol. Also, I 100% agree that the purpose of a wedding is to get drunk. That’s such an awful philosophy. We’re just serving beer and wine.
I have to agree with the mister and I’m only in my mid-20s — hangovers seem to get more and more brutal as the years go by!!
I so wish I could have a dry wedding, alcohol’s exoensive and people around here drink like there’s no tomorrow.
I wish I could have a dry wedding as well! Not many of our guests drink, but we are providing alcohol for the handful that do. The only problem with that is you usually have to pay per adult head no matter who is drinking! Maybe we’ll do a hosted bar for part of it and then a cash bar for the rest?
I giggled a bit when I read your blog post especially knowing you’re marrying a Scotsman. Of course you have to serve alcohol at a Scottish wedding and that was not even up for debate in our house. My experience with my fiance is really similar to yours when it comes to alcohol. My fiance also drinks beer often but he’s so used it that hangovers are not something he experiences. I respect how drinking and driving is just not an option.
I wasn’t sold on the idea of having a cash bar because here in the US it’s seen differently than there in the UK. We also just cannot afford to pay for everyone to drink as much as I imagine our guests will drink 
. It’s also what they expect when attending a wedding. We will provide poured wine but they’ll buy beer and mixed drinks from the cash bar.
@Beast:
I’d recommend part hosted, part cash. Here’s how we’re doing it, so as not to break the bank: hosted beer and wine up to $400, cash after (bartender keeps track); hosted sodas all night; cash bar for mixed drinks. We wanted to just bring our own kegs and cases of Two Buck Chuck but our venue requires a licensed bartender provide the booze. We have a lot of friends who like to drink like there’s no tomorrow, so we’ve been warning them about the bar sitch and telling them to bring a flask if they really wanna party.
We’re providing two kegs and wine for about 100 people. Any hard alcohol will be available at the cash bar. I don’t think it’s poor etiquette in this day and age. If anyone who came to my wedding had a complaint about us not having a full open bar, I’d tell them to pay for it. We’re on a budget, and like you said about weddings being about love, not an excuse to get drunk, many people do the latter. I don’t want to encourage people to get wasted by offering that much free alcohol. My Fiance’s friends tend to have too much fun on occasion and I don’t want to risk it.
We did the same thing, open beer and wine with two signature cocktails in our colors, blue and yellow. They were named “Something Blue” and “Sunny Futures”!
We’re not dry (as you said, a European wedding can’t be dry), but we’re limiting the alcoholic beverage choices because a) weddings are not meant for drinking and b) because Mr. B’s family comes from a teetotal Christian background. It’ll be wine and champagne, plus of course the usual assortments of sodas, juices, etc.
I’m the same as you with the vomit phobia! I am so glad I am not alone! We are planning on having beer and wine. Firstly, because it it cheaper that way and second because I don’t want people smashed at the wedding.
There would have been rebellion if we had had a dry wedding. We’re from new Orleans, and all of our family and friends are drinkers. Open bar was one of our top three priorities for the wedding, despite the cost- we cut live music in its favor.
Scots are cheap – and drinking and driving is way too expensive! lol
We did an open wine and beer bar. Honestly, I had two glasses of champagne during the reception. I didn’t want to get drunk, but I also never made it over to the bar (too busy talking to our guests).
Your signature drinks sound so yummy! We did an open bar, and while I’m glad we did, I think we should have cut back on liquor as some of our guests indulged a bit too much
I hate feeling like I have to provide alcohol for people. I mean, I don’t think anyone suffers from an alcohol deficiency, and I certainly don’t want to take care of drunk people on my wedding day. For months we have been saying that we are not having alcohol. Now that were less than 30 days away, it’s starting to feel more and more like we HAVE to, or some people won’t stick around and we will have a massive amount of food thrown away; I don’t like to waste anything. I think we have decided to have 1 keg for 150 people. If it runs dry, too bad. We are paying for it, after all, and like someone else said, we’re on a budget.
We are providing Pimms and champagne for the drinks reception straight after the ceremony, then a selection of wines and beer plus Pimms during the meal, with anything left served for a short while as evening guests arrive then the cash bar opens for the rest of the night.
In my experience it is very rare to have a completely open bar here in England and I guess the rest of the UK is similar. I have only been to one wedding with an open bar and they only served champagne, beer and soft drinks. What you have planned sounds great – love that your signature drink matches your wedding colours! x
We have the ability to be drinkers, but we don’t always drink. I personally like vodka and tequila:)
I’m having a dry wedding for various reasons: my fiance’s dad is a recovering alcoholic, my reception is in my church which doesn’t allow alcohol, it’s in the daytime so alcohol isn’t that much of a “necessity” (though I don’t believe it’s ever necessary, truly!), my fiance doesn’t drink and I only drink rarely, and we’re having a lot of kids there and want it to be a family-friendly affair. I completely agree that weddings are not about alcohol, but I also believe they should be an authentic representation of who you are, and since Mr. Sword is Scottish it sounds just about right that you’re having plenty of beer and wine! And your signature cocktail sounds delicious–love how it matches the purple in your colors!
Alcohol was a must for me. My husband is not much of a drinker, he is usually my driver (another reason he’s perfect for me) I don’t like to get drunk, but I do like to drink. I’m a big wine and beer snob and live the occasional cocktail. We picked two local brews and a domestic had two reds a white and a blush sangaria. Along with a ginger infused vodka lime soda cocktail. It was delicious, but I only got part of my drink. All the time put into choices and I never tasted anything. I think most things made it to my hand, but we were late getting pre ceremony pics done so I missed lots of my reception. BOOOO…
Drink up be marry, have a great time.
Even dry receptions are a marvelous event..
I’ve only ever been to one open bar wedding in the UK and that turned out horribly messy (not for me, I hasten to add, but for my friend who’d come straight from work without any dinner!). The wedding I went to last weekend had a cash bar, which I didn’t think anything of until one drink cost me £9.90 ($15.50). I was not impressed.
Mrs. Sword, Chicago Age and Occupation: 28, Nanny/Actress Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Software Engineer Engagement Date: February 19, 2012 Wedding Date: March 2013 Venue: Embassy Suites Bloomington West in Bloomington, MN About Me: I am a true girly-girl originally from the great state of Minnesota and my fiancé hails from the beautiful country of Scotland. We met and fell in love in our favorite city, Chicago, and are having a blast blending our cultures for "A Highland Fairy Tale" wedding! We are truly a case of opposites attract in that he’s a world traveling introvert and I’m a social butterfly who is never too far from home. We both love hanging out with family and friends, fine dining, and laughing at ourselves. He drinks a lot of beer and I talk too much. We wouldn’t have it any other way!
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