I intended to write a name-change post for Weddingbee at some point. We obviously evaluated options and made a decision (I took his)…but I haven’t had the urge to blog about it. But I would like to blog about my new name.
With our slightly unconventional distribution of wedding events (a civil ceremony in Germany in May, followed by our American wedding next month—so close!), my name change is also a bit on the unconventional side.
My name change was made legal by informing the authorities before our civil ceremony about our choice of married name and by signing the wedding documents with my new name. I updated my important German paperwork before I moved to the US in June, but I’m waiting to update my paperwork here until we have a permanent address (we’re moving into a new apartment in September).
Mr. Bracelet is doing an internship in Bozeman this summer, and I didn’t feel like being the “stay-at-home newlywed that moved across an ocean and doesn’t have anything to do,” so I signed myself up for summer school. I’ve always wanted to do that! I’ve been spending the last two months near Boston by myself—but with my new name as my companion.
I’ve been living with my new name quite amicably. It’s on my dorm room’s door. It’s on my ID card. I sign all my homework with it. I introduce myself to people with it. Since nobody knows that I’m a newlywed (at least not within the first five minutes of small talk), nobody fusses about it. It simply IS. People here have never known me as anything else.
I’m actually quite thankful that I got to spend time with my new name without having to be a newlywed at the same time. Changing one’s name is a big deal. Being a newlywed is a big deal. Being both at the same time is an even bigger deal.
How did you navigate the name change? Did you enjoy it or was it stressful?
Since I couldn’t technically change my name until after the wedding ceremony, of course all my plane tickets, passport, hotel reservations, etc. for the honeymoon were in my maiden name.
This caused me quite a lot of distress for a little while, as evidenced by one night on our honeymoon where I got drunk and ended up on the floor crying my eyes out and complaining “Who am I? No one knows my name! What’s my name??” (Poor DH.)
It helped a lot after I started getting my SS card, licence, etc. changed over.
I’m very excited to change my last name but it’s going to be weird too. I think it may be hard to break the habit of signing my name lol.
I’m finding it a bit stressful to consider but I’m not there yet — hopefully it will seem a lot more natural and easy when the time comes!
This sounds like the perfect way to transition into your new name, so much less confusion!
We’ve been married for three months and I haven’t done anything but fill out the paper work… Ive got to get on that…
It’s great you have some time to get used to it, changes are hard and it’s even harder if you have to deal with a lot of changes at once.
Sounds like you are handling the name change well. Kind of neat to be in a situation where you are a newcomer, so that you get to try out your NEW identity… as the only one those around you have ever known.
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In my case, I have had my OWN name now for over 50 years… having kept it thru my first marriage (mostly for professional reasons)
So changing it… LOL, is a resounding change this time round
I’ve decided to take my Hubby’s surname as I approach retirement. So after half-a-century of being known as one name, going to another is a BIG Deal in some regards.
But, beyond making the initial choice to do this, I am truly surprised at how easy a transition it is becoming.
For one thing, Mr TTR and I have been together for years, and at “our age” a lot of folks just assume we are married anyhow (lol, going to look for E-Rings and Salespeople asking us “is this ring for a Milestone Anniversary”… brought youthful smirks to our faces and winks back and forth).
We’ve been together so long, that in some of our social circles, we’ve always been known as Mr & Mrs HisLastName and we’ve never bothered to correct them… as it much easier to go along with the flow than explain the reality of it all.
But then again, we live in Canada, where folks have soooo many choices when it comes to how they wish to define themselves and their relationships legally (Marriage – Common-Law – Civil Unions) as well as what they wish to “call themselves” (here you can “adopt” any name you like as long as it isn’t for illegal purposes) so in that regard, a lot of folks have numerous names they are known by… their Legal Name, as well as perhaps others for Professional or Social purposes. And no one blinks an eye.
Still though, I have to admit, I’m finding it fascinating to be practice writing my NEW Name (lol, memories of being a pre-teen with a high school crush). Because, although I may find the NEW name quite familiar on one basis, (being “called it” in some circles)… I rarely have had the opportunity to write it out.
My name change is something I’m actually looking forward to. I don’t relish waiting in another 2 hour line at the DMV (which I *just* did to get an enhanced ID to go to Canada for our honeymoon), but for really the first time in my life I am going to have a last name I identify with.
Growing up, my mom legally changed my name to match whatever her married name at the time was. You could say she’s a serial monogamist. I still have my last stepdad’s last name, and I greatly dislike him, so I’m excited to finally be proud of my name.
Hi, I’ve been married for about 6 months and I still haven’t decided what to do about my last name. My husband is American and I was born and grew up in a Hispanic country where your last name is made out of two words, the first word comes from your dad’s last name and the second one from your mom’s. Where I’m from, you never change your name, not even after you get married. For social occasions, you “might” be called something equivalent to Mrs. X, but legally, you name doesn’t change. So I am having a big problem deciding what to do. I know I’ll be keeping my last name for now, but I won’t know what to do when we have kids. I can’t imagine my kids having a completely different last name than mine and I can’t imagine changing my last name either. And since my kids will grow up here in the US, I wouldn’t want them to go through all the confusion and questioning that comes with having a 2-word last name in the US.
Ah that sounds like a great way to transition! People in my office are having a hard time getting used to the change and every once in a while I find myself still using my maiden name! I know I will get used to it, but right now it feels so strange!
Wow, this is such a cool post. I like how you got to know your new name. I’m looking forward to changing mine but at the same time I love my last name and I think it will be more difficult to adjust to than I anticipate.
Aw, what a nice way to get to know your new name! I didn’t want to be all “newlywed” after our civil union so I just sent an email at work telling everyone I changed my name and to look for the new name in the directory if they want to find me. It didn’t go over as smoothly as your summer school introductions. 
I enjoied this post. My SO and I have a unique situation. Originally he was named after his father. But he decided that he wanted to switch his last name around and adopt his mother’s maternal family name. I never liked my name so I ended changing it all together. We both kept our original first names and just moved them as middle names. We filed paperwork to change our names legally and it will be official April 30- so excited. Heres were most get confused We legally married last August no one but us- we told family and friends afterward that their would be a spiritual ceremony next summer We consider that to be our real wedding date. But I digress. The case in point is that I will be carrying his name legally which I love and majority of people know me as Li and still call me by my now middle name. Strangers just call me Isabelle Grace. I love it. 
Miss Bracelet, Frankfurt, Germany/Rapid City, SD Age and Occupation: 26, Post-Graduate Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 31, Electrical Engineering Student/ Ex-Navy Cal Tech Engagement Date: May 11, 2011 Wedding Date: September 2012 Venue: Schloss Heiligenberg/ Spearfish Canyon Lodge About Me: I'm a half-American from Germany who fell in love with a wonderful guy from Montana. We met in Japan and have been in a LDR for most of our relationship. I love organizing so much that it could be my middle name (Post-Its, anyone?). I have a serious addiction to paper products and milk chocolate. My fiancé totally gets my tomboy-princess-combo personality and will bring me chocolate when I need a pick-me-up. After a legal ceremony in Germany, we're planning a down-to-earth (semi-destination) wedding with our friends and family in the US.
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