Mr. Dragon and I have been having lots of heavy-duty conversations about what the future holds, making big decisions and sorting out our plans—and I think it has a lot to do with getting married.
We’ve always had buying a house and having kids as future goals, but they were pretty abstract in that there was no timeline in place aside from “relatively soon.” Under two months out from the wedding, however, Mr. Dragon and I ended up accidentally hammering out an actual plan, with dates and everything.
Baby Dragon—hello, future!
I’m curious if getting on the road to marriage, or actually getting married, has firmed up anyone else’s major life decisions! To be fair, this kind of skews toward people who have children and real estate in their future, but I’m really interested in all perspectives.
I’ll share my own answers with you here.
For Question 1, my answer is Yes, but just for the next year or two. While it’s in a document titled “[Mr. and Miss Dragon’s] Five Year Plan” (and Mr. Dragon is the one who made me create it before you think I’m crazy!) it basically gets us to Winter/Spring 2014. I realize that these things aren’t set in stone, but I’m really enjoying having a road map for what lies ahead.
For Question 2, my answer is After we got engaged but before we got married. I suppose we would have figured it out after we got married and had to start making decisions, but it’s nice to have it in advance—I have things to look forward to after the wedding!
For Question 3, my answer is Yes, after marriage. Saving for the wedding actually taught us we could save, so we’re going to keep on saving and work toward a mortgage.
Question 4—the truth is I already had baby fever before we were engaged/married. Not terrible baby fever, but I know I want kids. Luckily, so does Mr. Dragon! This is one of those things that was an eventual guarantee but now has a timeline attached to it.
For Question 5, my answer is Yes. I know there’s not really a truly typical path for anyone, as that’s a pretty huge generalization, but when I think about the couples I know who have married recently, most of them went out and bought a house ASAP and have kids on the horizon. I don’t think we’re going to shock anyone with our plans!
My answer to Question 6 reveals my laziness—We plan to but haven’t done so yet. Mr. Dragon has life insurance through his employer of which I’m already a beneficiary, but I imagine some paperwork will need to be done post-wedding. Of course, buying things like a house makes for different property insurance, and I suspect our vehicle insurance will change too. I’m putting it all off until we get married, though!
Question 7 is the exact same: I plan to but haven’t done so yet. Right now, I don’t think I need a will as I’m basically worthless in terms of assets, and Mr. Dragon knows my end-of-life desires should he have to deal with that. Once we have property to contend with, and especially when children enter the picture, a will becomes a lot more important in my eyes!
For Question 8, despite all these lofty goals, I’m going to have to go with I feel like I’m behind. That’s because we’re not actually there yet, so I’m not really sure if our plans will work as we’d like them to. If we manage to have a house and kids on our preferred timeline then I’ll feel like I’m right where I should be, but if things start falling through, I can’t help but think I’m going to have some “but what about me?” feelings.
So, there you have it! A bit more serious and complex than picking out flowers and DIY’ing pretty things, but there’s a practical side to marriage, too. I can’t wait to read your answers!