I swear I couldn’t think of a more clever title than that. Fortunately, it does make sense because this post is partly about a woman’s top half, or more specifically my top half.


Heading out with my girls on a return trip to my college campus—not my best face”¦

See, Mr. Sword had opinions regarding what I wear, or more specifically the dresses I wear, and I’m not sure what is more abnormal: that fact that he’s a guy and cares about my style of dress, or that he prefers me to show off my cleavage as opposed to hiding it from the rest of the world. Before I go any further I should note that I do solicit the opinions, but instead of the more common male response of, “Yeah, looks good. I can’t tell a difference from the last thing you wore,” Mr. Swords says things like, “I don’t really care for that one.”

I must backtrack for a minute. There are three reasons Mr. Sword’s clothing opinions make me laugh.

  1. Sometimes it’s a competition of who likes my boobs more, me or Mr. Sword. I’ve had boobs since I was 11—I can’t remember life without them. And I’ve always enjoyed wearing tighter, more low-cut tops. In high school, my friends and I even nicknamed them Mitzi and Ditzie. (I can’t believe I just shared that online!) And since moving to Illinois, they’ve been known as The Minnesota Twins. Get it? :) So yeah, he’s a guy, he likes boobs (duh), but I really like them too! They’re fun for everyone.
  2. Mr. Sword is one of the most laid-back people I’ve ever met. He doesn’t have strong feelings about most things. He could care less about the fact that I rarely make him a home-cooked dinner, that I get tipsy after one glass of wine, or that I’m a huge dork who likes to sing to herself while cleaning the house naked (true fact that’s also embarrassing—clothes only slow me down). Yet, he DEFINITELY notices and cares about what I wear!
  3. Mr. Sword secretly LOVES it when other guys hit on me. So not typical, right? One day a group of us were walking through a busy intersection, the girls in the front, the boys in the back, so there was no indication that I was with Mr. Sword. Well I was wearing a very tight black dress, and some guy leans out of his car to holler at me that, “Damn, you’re wearing that dress really well.” I turn around to look at my then-boyfriend and he’s just grinning away. If it had happened to another one of my friends, her husband would have been ready to throw a punch! Sometimes I think it’s a cultural thing. When we used to go out more with Mr. Sword’s Scottish friends in Chicago, I noticed that all of his friends flirted with me and the other girls despite who was dating who. I asked one of Mr. Sword’s buddies, “Why is it OK to hit on your friend’s girlfriend?” And he replied, “Better your friend than a guy you don’t know.” Good point.

This all brings me back to the fact that Mr. Sword is VERY picky about the dresses I wear. He strongly dislikes all vintage, old-fashioned looking, modest, or conservative style dresses. Oh, and flowers. He doesn’t like rosettes or floral prints on me either. I know, so demanding!! Mr. Sword is so low-key most of the time, and he never makes me feel bad about what I’m wearing, but when I ask him if he likes something, he gives me an honest answer, as he should. Over the years, I’ve been able to figure out which ones he’ll like and which ones he won’t (which sometimes I still buy anyway because, hey, I can’t have my boobs out all the time!).

Finally, this brings me to my long-winded point. I MUST look SEXY on our wedding day. I think my dress is up to the challenge, but when I was trying on wedding dresses this summer and bridal consultant after bridal consultant kept telling me that my fiancé will like anything I wear and it won’t matter as long as I’m happy, I had to explain to them that they are wrong and some guys do care!

Ready to see some of Mr. Sword’s LEAST favorite dresses?


Our first Easter together. Didn’t know he hated this until MONTHS later”¦


At a friend’s wedding. I love this dress and wear it frequently, despite his opinions.


Easter 2011

I’ve recently decided that I dress too juvenile for an almost 29-year-old and I should really start dressing more conservatively! HA. The man wants cleavage and cleavage he shall get! It is his wedding too, after all!

Just in case you need more proof of Mr. Sword’s opinions, during the inventory review at our premarital counseling session with our pastor (more on that soon), when answering the question what is one thing you’d change about your partner physically, Mr. Sword said “style of dress”! Granted that’s better than height or weight, but not better than “other.”

Is your partner really opinionated about what you wear? Do they get jealous if someone else hits on you? OH, and yay for boobs!


Mrs. Sword

Wedding Date:
March 2013
Holy Matri-pony: Our First Dance
Pure Michigan
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  1. mswizard Member
    mswizard 554 posts, Busy bee @ 7:14 am

    Umm…I totally clean the house naked too. I thought I was the only one!!

  2. Member
    Beltacular 51 posts, Worker bee @ 7:18 am

    Yea, my fiance likes it when other guys hit on me. He says it makes him feel good. Also, I totally get the wanting to be sexy on your wedding thing. I’m working out and eating better and everything, and I want a dress that shows off my hard work!

  3. msfairy Member
    msfairy 976 posts, Busy bee @ 7:34 am

    This post is too funny – I can complete relate!! My chest is um… rather large, which is more so highlighted by a smaller than normal rib cage. Fiance usually likes all things I wear (or so he says) however he also doesn’t mind when others hit on me. Strange boys! :)

  4. castle Member
    castle 1191 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:34 am

    Love this post. My DH is defiantly a boob man as well. I also felt I needed to look a little sexy on our wedding day. I kept asking everyone, how do my boobs look? Are they OK? Everyone thought I was crazy but I had to make sure they looked good!

  5. Member
    ddavila2001 611 posts, Busy bee @ 7:38 am

    Idk, personally I’ve always subscribed to the “women don’t dress for men, they dress for themselves first AND then other women”. That’s just how I am and my guy generally doesn’t have too much to say about how I dress. My assumption is that he likes it, lol. I’ll get the “you look cute” type of comment, but he’s generally not very vocal. For my wedding, I wanted to feel good and look good in the photos, so I set out months ago to change my lifestyle, eat healthier and work out, so I would look back on my photos and feel good regarding the way I looked. Course I want him to like my dress, but my intention in purchase wasn’t all “OMG, I hope HE likes it”. My dress is body-con, a mermaid that shows off my shape, but I definitely worked hard and continue to do so. I think I ended up with a nice balence of body-con meets classic- Because personally, I’m not an exposed corset, tits out kind of gal.

  6. Member
    BookGirrl 897 posts, Busy bee @ 7:42 am

    This post is hilarious because my lovely FI is sort of similar, except his obsession is not about just my boobs, per se, but about the tightness of my clothes. I work in a school, with middle school students, and most of my clothes (because work clothes bleed into at-home clothes, and vice-versa) reflect that I work with children. Plus, I also have big books, so I think when big boobed girls wear tight clothes, we look really trashy, whereas a small boobed girl can wear tight clothes and still look sweet or cute as opposed to trashy.

    Anyway, so most of my clothes are NOT tight. Like, I like cute drop-waist dresses, and blouse-y shirts, and lots of cardigans over everything since my library is always cold.

    And he HATES my “big” clothes. That’s what he calls them. He’s like, “why is everything you own so big?”. It’s as if he wants me to walk around in spandex dresses all the time! I am not skinny, and even if I were, I’m just not a super-tight-clothes kind of girl. I’ve tried to explain the trashy vs. classy thing to him, and he just doesn’t get it. We’ll go into a store and he’ll offer to buy me a new outfit, as long as he gets to pick it out. Um…no thanks! I don’t want to wear a tight bandage dress on a sunday afternoon!

    Oh boys. Such weirdos.

  7. msfox Member
    msfox 1635 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:52 am

    Hah! Yayyy boobies! Foxy has definitely opinions on what he *doesn’t* like, which honestly is about half of my closet. I just chalk it up to the fact that he’s a boy and has no fashion sense. 😉 When it came to dresses, he was very much against lace (looks like a doily to him) or “nightgown” dresses. I ended up choosing one that could probably be thrown into the latter category, but he still seemed to love it (I think?!).

  8. Member
    Crindy 319 posts, Helper bee @ 7:53 am

    My FI keeps his opinions about my clothes to myself. I had no idea he HAD an opinion about anything I wore until, a year or so into our relationship, he tagged along on a trip to Macy’s with me. I swear he hated everything I liked, and vice versa!

    I really think that he doesn’t care about what’s I’m wearing on a daily basis (unless it’s spectacular or completely awful), but now I know that if I ask him, he WILL have an opinion! Guys are so funny.

  9. Member
    stephk527 987 posts, Busy bee @ 8:11 am

    I just told a story about how I’ve had boobs since I was 10 and my girlfriends used to dare me to flash them at sleepovers, since they were so fascinated! LOL. My FI is also obsessed with my chest area (he calls them WB’s for “wonderful breasts”) and loves when I wear low-cut shirts and dresses. He is also all for other guys hitting on/flirting with me – strange, silly boys 😉

  10. Member
    kbiceling 298 posts, Helper bee @ 8:14 am

    It’s so funny that you wrote this post because this is something I’ve been thinking about! Not because my FI has an opinion one way or the other (or at least, he probably wouldn’t share it) but because I’ve been trying to find a strapless bra that will work with my dress and not make my chest look sad. It’s an ongoing struggle.

  11. mstoadstool Member
    mstoadstool 2485 posts, Buzzing bee @ 8:22 am

    This is so funny. I think in some way all guys secretly love when other guy likes you/hits on you, but most guys also get angry or feel they need to stand up for you, the difference is that Mr Sword is laid back about it, it’s kind of cool.

  12. Guest Icon Guest
    apple, Guest @ 8:26 am

    one word: HE IS A BOOB GUY!

  13. Member
    Future Army Wife 2213 posts, Buzzing bee @ 8:32 am

    My dress inadvertently umm, showcased my rack. My mom spent the whole reception telling me to pull my dress up. Though my boobs look really nice in all our photos, haha. If you have boobs, you can rock them without nip slips :)

  14. Member
    phoenixandstars 565 posts, Busy bee @ 8:32 am

    My FI is the same way, he loves it when I dress sexy and promotes me doing so, but I’m just not on board with it. Not because I couldn’t pull it off, but more so because I have a really hard time finding stuff to fit. I am the TOTAL opposite of you, no boobies to speak of. It’s really hard to pull off sexy sometimes when you’ve got nothing on top! LOL!

  15. Member
    radiolassie82 65 posts, Worker bee @ 8:53 am

    Interesting post. lol! Especially since I came across a dress I saw and thought of you! It reminded me of your new tartan and I thought you’d appreciate me passing on the link, but it would definitely be too conservative for Mr. Sword’s taste. Oh well, I’ll share anyway. Top line, middle dress. :)

  16. Member
    anemonie 1578 posts, Bumble bee @ 9:01 am

    I’m very well-endowed but somehow ended up with an ass man. Go figure.

    That being said, he still loves my boobs, and I find myself wondering if I’m going to regret not asking for more of a sweetheart neckline when I ordered my dress. The neckline is slightly dipped, but it’s definitely not a cleavage-y dress, plus he won’t get to see any booty underneath my ball gown.

    And like you and @Mrs. Wizard, I say there is no shame in cleaning nude. I usually go on cleaning binges, so I’ll start laundry when I get started, and if I wear clothes while the laundry’s going, 100% of my clothes won’t be clean when I’m done!

  17. Member
    MrsFutureG 1696 posts, Bumble bee @ 9:11 am

    Mr. Sword sounds like my fiance. He loves my chest and wants them out all the time. He loves catching other people staring and will point it out to me. Then again, we’re the couple that will point out other people to each other.

    As for my wedding gown (bought THIS PAST WEEKEND YAY!), it is going to have church cleavage. My boobs will look huge regardless. I could wear a baggy sweater and they’d be obvious. However I am 5’1 and my fiance is 6’4, so he’ll get a good eyeful looking down!

  18. Member
    Sterlingstreak 38 posts, Newbee @ 9:17 am

    I agree, yay for boobs! My guy hasn’t seen my wedding or reception dresses yet, but I think I’m almost more excited about the reception dress! *lol* The wedding gown doesn’t show hardly any clevage (was a tiny bit disappointed at that), but the reception dress is HOT! My best friend said it made me look like somebody’s hot mistress, there to start trouble. *GRINS* I’ve been schlumping along in t-shirts & baggy jeans (yay to losing weight before the wedding, too!) for so long, it’ll be wonderful to look & feel sexy for myself and my guy!

  19. mspony Member
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 10:31 am

    Ha! This post is hilarious :) I like my boobs just as much as Mr. P does, so I made sure to highlight them appropriately on our wedding day.

  20. Member
    This Time Round 10219 posts, Sugar Beekeeper @ 11:03 am

    Funny post !!

    To be honest men never change (grow up?)… Mr TTR at over 60 is very much a Boob Man.

    Lol, and an @ss Man if truth be told… which I guess just makes him… A MAN.

    And he too has opinions about what I wear. He doesn’t mind clothes shopping with me at all… because he gets to give his opinion.

    Since meeting him, I have to say, I understand that men like different things in clothing on us than what us gals would pick (and it is no wonder why… their choices are all about the body, and not much about comfort)… so Short Skirts, Tight Dresses, Silky or Soft Fabrics, High Heels, Sexy Lingerie …

    And the ever loved favourite… CLEVAGE !!

    Men could enjoy “Boobs On Display” 24/7×365 from the day they are born, to the day they die…

    Honestly, in my years of wisdom… I’ve come to realize that men are very very basic creatures. Give ’em what they want, and they tend to be quite happy fellows.

    PS… Wedding Dress – To be honest, I’ve been concentrating on what I want… this post makes me realize that I may now need to rethink things a bit. May have to find a compromise between the elegant & sophisticated lacey number I had in mind and no doubt the silky (looks like lingerie) number he may have envisioned. Hmmmm…

  21. Member
    jkingsqueen 22 posts, Newbee @ 12:06 pm

    I was told by my fiance that ALL men like other men to hit on/look at their women. “who wants a girl no other man wants” were his words. Sorry he doesnt have the best filter but it makes sense! He said its his duty to stand up for me but he wants a sexy wife that other men with they had.

  22. honey Member
    honey 1684 posts, Bumble bee @ 1:18 pm

    The title of this post and Mr. Sword are just awesome. I love that he is so confident in your relationship that he handles you being hit on so well :)

  23. Member
    FairyWinkle 31 posts, Newbee @ 5:34 pm

    My FI says if you’ve got it flaunt it…but at the same time looking is different than gawking. He’ll give the poor guy who gawks a look and if they still don’t get the hint and if they (god forbid) actually attempt anything he’ll put a stop to it. My guy is also like yours in that he does have an opinion on what I wear. In fact, he actually enjoys watching What Not to Wear with me on Tuesday nights! :0) He draws the line there, though.

  24. Member
    Bebealways 4698 posts, Honey bee @ 7:24 pm

    I wish someone would ask me what I’d change physically about my partner. I have a perfect smartaleck answer. I’d make his vision worse so he didn’t care how I looked.

  25. sword Member
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 8:05 pm

    Seriously LOVING all of these responses!! Thanks for all of your input. OH and yay for boobs again! :)

  26. Member
    Napakitten 137 posts, Blushing bee @ 9:51 am

    my husband admitted to me while i was saying the vows I had written for him the only way he kept from crying was he was staring at my cleavage the whole time!!! lol I was kinds flattered by that

  27. Guest Icon Guest
    LilJLarson, Guest @ 1:44 pm

    My FI loves my top half. I gave into my own request and got myself an amazing set last year. This year the request was from FI, and it was show more and make sure it shows on our wedding day. He loves the look, feel, and everything about them. I have woken up in the middle of the night cuddling and one hand is on the twins without FI even realizing… :) that being said, I also clean the house naked and I am so impressed that so many others do as well! I also dry my hair naked bc frankly I get way too hot from the dryer! :) FI LOVES IT! You go girl! Show off the twins and know you aren’t the only one!

  28. Member
    jacofblues 1468 posts, Bumble bee @ 4:45 pm

    I love it when my fiance notices when I wear something new. We go shopping together more than I go alone and I always like to ask his opionion before I buy something :)

  29. Member
    t3al3af 61 posts, Worker bee @ 8:11 am

    This post was hilarious! I love your honesty! My SO is also extremely opinionated on clothes. I didn’t know this until over 2 years into our relationship, but his preferences differ from mine. I’m more girly-girl, conservative. I saw the dresses your FI didn’t like and thought, ‘I’d wear that!’ lol. My SO prefers skin-tight and booty hugging – that’s right…he’s a booty-guy. Maybe guys just want their ladies to flaunt what they’ve got b/c it reflects on the guy?

  30. funnelcake Member
    funnelcake 1171 posts, Bumble bee @ 1:46 pm

    First off – I also clean naked. It just makes sense… why get your clothes yuck with cleaning products?? Just jump in the shower at the end when you clean that. :)

    Mr. FC is also pretty picky about what I wear. Not so much about how much breastesses are showing, but more about if it is a particular style or looks “too Grandma” or something. He hates all my frilly flowery things and he’s so against me buying anything animal print (hello cute Zebra heels??) because he thinks it’s trashy. He’s against fishnets too… too skanky for him. Yet other times he thinks really skanky things are “sexy”… so I don’t get it!

    He is opposite of Mr. S though, he’s got the jealous Brazilian streak and he doesn’t want any other guys looking at my chest but him… but he sure does enjoy doing it himself. He’s totally happy if we go out and I have a low cut top on, but if we’re going to his parents or I’m going out alone, he’d rather I cover up a bit. :)

  31. Member
    cicijapan 263 posts, Helper bee @ 3:39 pm

    Im going through these something similar! I want to have a somewhat poofy princess wedding dress but my fiancé is insisting on something tight and sexy. I don’t know if is should just make myself happy and go with what I want or make him happy when he sees me walking down the aisle.

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