I swear I couldn’t think of a more clever title than that. Fortunately, it does make sense because this post is partly about a woman’s top half, or more specifically my top half.


Heading out with my girls on a return trip to my college campus—not my best face”¦

See, Mr. Sword had opinions regarding what I wear, or more specifically the dresses I wear, and I’m not sure what is more abnormal: that fact that he’s a guy and cares about my style of dress, or that he prefers me to show off my cleavage as opposed to hiding it from the rest of the world. Before I go any further I should note that I do solicit the opinions, but instead of the more common male response of, “Yeah, looks good. I can’t tell a difference from the last thing you wore,” Mr. Swords says things like, “I don’t really care for that one.”

I must backtrack for a minute. There are three reasons Mr. Sword’s clothing opinions make me laugh.

  1. Sometimes it’s a competition of who likes my boobs more, me or Mr. Sword. I’ve had boobs since I was 11—I can’t remember life without them. And I’ve always enjoyed wearing tighter, more low-cut tops. In high school, my friends and I even nicknamed them Mitzi and Ditzie. (I can’t believe I just shared that online!) And since moving to Illinois, they’ve been known as The Minnesota Twins. Get it? :) So yeah, he’s a guy, he likes boobs (duh), but I really like them too! They’re fun for everyone.
  2. Mr. Sword is one of the most laid-back people I’ve ever met. He doesn’t have strong feelings about most things. He could care less about the fact that I rarely make him a home-cooked dinner, that I get tipsy after one glass of wine, or that I’m a huge dork who likes to sing to herself while cleaning the house naked (true fact that’s also embarrassing—clothes only slow me down). Yet, he DEFINITELY notices and cares about what I wear!
  3. Mr. Sword secretly LOVES it when other guys hit on me. So not typical, right? One day a group of us were walking through a busy intersection, the girls in the front, the boys in the back, so there was no indication that I was with Mr. Sword. Well I was wearing a very tight black dress, and some guy leans out of his car to holler at me that, “Damn, you’re wearing that dress really well.” I turn around to look at my then-boyfriend and he’s just grinning away. If it had happened to another one of my friends, her husband would have been ready to throw a punch! Sometimes I think it’s a cultural thing. When we used to go out more with Mr. Sword’s Scottish friends in Chicago, I noticed that all of his friends flirted with me and the other girls despite who was dating who. I asked one of Mr. Sword’s buddies, “Why is it OK to hit on your friend’s girlfriend?” And he replied, “Better your friend than a guy you don’t know.” Good point.

This all brings me back to the fact that Mr. Sword is VERY picky about the dresses I wear. He strongly dislikes all vintage, old-fashioned looking, modest, or conservative style dresses. Oh, and flowers. He doesn’t like rosettes or floral prints on me either. I know, so demanding!! Mr. Sword is so low-key most of the time, and he never makes me feel bad about what I’m wearing, but when I ask him if he likes something, he gives me an honest answer, as he should. Over the years, I’ve been able to figure out which ones he’ll like and which ones he won’t (which sometimes I still buy anyway because, hey, I can’t have my boobs out all the time!).

Finally, this brings me to my long-winded point. I MUST look SEXY on our wedding day. I think my dress is up to the challenge, but when I was trying on wedding dresses this summer and bridal consultant after bridal consultant kept telling me that my fiancé will like anything I wear and it won’t matter as long as I’m happy, I had to explain to them that they are wrong and some guys do care!

Ready to see some of Mr. Sword’s LEAST favorite dresses?


Our first Easter together. Didn’t know he hated this until MONTHS later”¦


At a friend’s wedding. I love this dress and wear it frequently, despite his opinions.


Easter 2011

I’ve recently decided that I dress too juvenile for an almost 29-year-old and I should really start dressing more conservatively! HA. The man wants cleavage and cleavage he shall get! It is his wedding too, after all!

Just in case you need more proof of Mr. Sword’s opinions, during the inventory review at our premarital counseling session with our pastor (more on that soon), when answering the question what is one thing you’d change about your partner physically, Mr. Sword said “style of dress”! Granted that’s better than height or weight, but not better than “other.”

Is your partner really opinionated about what you wear? Do they get jealous if someone else hits on you? OH, and yay for boobs!


Mrs. Sword

Wedding Date:
March 2013

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  1. Member
    jkingsqueen 22 posts, Newbee @ 12:06 pm

    I was told by my fiance that ALL men like other men to hit on/look at their women. “who wants a girl no other man wants” were his words. Sorry he doesnt have the best filter but it makes sense! He said its his duty to stand up for me but he wants a sexy wife that other men with they had.

  2. Member
    honey 1684 posts, Bumble bee @ 1:18 pm

    The title of this post and Mr. Sword are just awesome. I love that he is so confident in your relationship that he handles you being hit on so well :)

  3. Member
    FairyWinkle 31 posts, Newbee @ 5:34 pm

    My FI says if you’ve got it flaunt it…but at the same time looking is different than gawking. He’ll give the poor guy who gawks a look and if they still don’t get the hint and if they (god forbid) actually attempt anything he’ll put a stop to it. My guy is also like yours in that he does have an opinion on what I wear. In fact, he actually enjoys watching What Not to Wear with me on Tuesday nights! :0) He draws the line there, though.

  4. Member
    Bebealways 4698 posts, Honey bee @ 7:24 pm

    I wish someone would ask me what I’d change physically about my partner. I have a perfect smartaleck answer. I’d make his vision worse so he didn’t care how I looked.

  5. Member
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 8:05 pm

    Seriously LOVING all of these responses!! Thanks for all of your input. OH and yay for boobs again! :)

  6. Member
    Napakitten 137 posts, Blushing bee @ 9:51 am

    my husband admitted to me while i was saying the vows I had written for him the only way he kept from crying was he was staring at my cleavage the whole time!!! lol I was kinds flattered by that

  7. Guest Icon Guest
    LilJLarson, Guest @ 1:44 pm

    My FI loves my top half. I gave into my own request and got myself an amazing set last year. This year the request was from FI, and it was show more and make sure it shows on our wedding day. He loves the look, feel, and everything about them. I have woken up in the middle of the night cuddling and one hand is on the twins without FI even realizing… :) that being said, I also clean the house naked and I am so impressed that so many others do as well! I also dry my hair naked bc frankly I get way too hot from the dryer! :) FI LOVES IT! You go girl! Show off the twins and know you aren’t the only one!

  8. Member
    jacofblues 1468 posts, Bumble bee @ 4:45 pm

    I love it when my fiance notices when I wear something new. We go shopping together more than I go alone and I always like to ask his opionion before I buy something :)

  9. Member
    t3al3af 61 posts, Worker bee @ 8:11 am

    This post was hilarious! I love your honesty! My SO is also extremely opinionated on clothes. I didn’t know this until over 2 years into our relationship, but his preferences differ from mine. I’m more girly-girl, conservative. I saw the dresses your FI didn’t like and thought, ‘I’d wear that!’ lol. My SO prefers skin-tight and booty hugging – that’s right…he’s a booty-guy. Maybe guys just want their ladies to flaunt what they’ve got b/c it reflects on the guy?

  10. Member
    funnelcake 1171 posts, Bumble bee @ 1:46 pm

    First off – I also clean naked. It just makes sense… why get your clothes yuck with cleaning products?? Just jump in the shower at the end when you clean that. :)

    Mr. FC is also pretty picky about what I wear. Not so much about how much breastesses are showing, but more about if it is a particular style or looks “too Grandma” or something. He hates all my frilly flowery things and he’s so against me buying anything animal print (hello cute Zebra heels??) because he thinks it’s trashy. He’s against fishnets too… too skanky for him. Yet other times he thinks really skanky things are “sexy”… so I don’t get it!

    He is opposite of Mr. S though, he’s got the jealous Brazilian streak and he doesn’t want any other guys looking at my chest but him… but he sure does enjoy doing it himself. He’s totally happy if we go out and I have a low cut top on, but if we’re going to his parents or I’m going out alone, he’d rather I cover up a bit. :)

  11. Member
    cicijapan 263 posts, Helper bee @ 3:39 pm

    Im going through these something similar! I want to have a somewhat poofy princess wedding dress but my fiancé is insisting on something tight and sexy. I don’t know if is should just make myself happy and go with what I want or make him happy when he sees me walking down the aisle.

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