I Feel Like I’m Being Punished for Having an Early 2013 Wedding

I have to gripe about something real quick. It’s just a stupid little email from a potential hair and makeup artist, but it seriously annoyed the crap out of me and I find myself thinking about it more than I should. This one vendor says she can’t do my hair and makeup trial before the start of the new year. She specifically said she cannot be flexible in booking my consultation. Really? Granted, she is being nice enough to offer to book me before the 1st of the year (even though it’s a huge exception), but she it appears that she is flat-out refusing to do my hair and makeup trial before the normal five-six weeks before the wedding. I mean, what if I were a January bride like Lyre or Gloves? Would she make an exception then, or are winter brides forced to have their trial mere days before their wedding?

This vendor’s email was just so annoying! She said things like,

“I understand you’re out-of-state,” but clearly she doesn’t understand. Christmas is going to be my time in Minnesota to get shit done, and flying back and forth in January and February is something I’m trying to limit because of weather and other wedding related tasks that will have to wait until then. I’ve talked about it before, but being in an LDR with my wedding means my schedule might be a bit different from other brides. For example, I have a bridal shower coming up in MN in October, yes that’s a tad on the early side, but it’s the best month for my North Dakota family to get to Minnesota to help host it. Then, I have my Hen Do (bachelorette party) in November—pretty early again, but that’s when Mr. Sword’s AMAZING friends are flying him back to Glasgow for his Stag Do and I wanted to do mine the same weekend so I could host all of my out-of-town girls at our apt. My Chicago shower will be in February to round out the festivities.

Plus, I’m nervous about using extensions for the first time, and I’d really like to have time (like more than a few weeks) to change my plans if I don’t like the way they turn out, but if I’m only in town for that trial and then the wedding, how would I have a second go at it?

I understand I’m booking things a bit ahead of the curve, but it helps me to stay calm (and Lord knows my friends and family prefer me to stay calm!!), and the comical thing is I am still in the researching part of the process. But this artist doesn’t seem to have any desire to try to convince me that she’ll be a great vendor, so I’m going to keep moving. Unfortunately, the other company I was seriously considering has similar timelines and strict rules about when the trial should take place as well, and since my event is so far in the future, they wouldn’t even quote me a price! Although, maybe that’s normal in the hair/makeup biz.

After hearing Mrs.Coyote’s hair and makeup nightmare, I’m even more certain that I want to go with someone I like and trust. I’ve sent out another inquiry so I will keep you all posted on how that goes. Clearly I’m in the thick of wedding planning because my panties got in a twist over one small email, but as someone who’s had years of bad skin, my wedding day makeup is very important to me.

I always pay for professional makeup when possible, like when I get my theatre headshots taken:

Sorry for the rant, hive, but thanks for listening, I feel so much better! Anyone else struggling with booking things in the early part of the year?


Mrs. Sword

Wedding Date:
March 2013
Deerly Beloved: Sneaking Out for a Quick Pic (or Two)
Love Under the Moon: Becoming a Bride

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  1. Member
    Elvis 1757 posts, Buzzing bee @ 5:19 am

    This just sounds like a bad vendor, to me.

  2. Member
    booradley 2467 posts, Buzzing bee @ 5:21 am

    I completely understand, Miss Sword! I’m planning my wedding from 12 hours away and it’s a whirlwind tour of vendor meetings anytime I can schedule a visit. People thought I was crazy for booking a caterer a year ago but now a year’s past and there is no other chance I would have gotten to go back for that. Getting things done ahead of time does help to keep me calm, too. I think you should definitely keep looking for another hair/makeup person, that kind of attitude isn’t acceptable. I found vendors who wanted my business so they’re working with my schedule- you can do it, too!

  3. Member
    FutureMrsSpencer 526 posts, Busy bee @ 5:34 am

    Sounds like someone who doesn’t take their business seriously. I decided to do a trial run with my makeup artist for my engagement photos. That was in June 2012 and my wedding isn’t until May 2013. After the photos came back and I really liked what I saw, I booked her. Most people say the earlier the better.

  4. Member
    happyface 5777 posts, Bee Keeper @ 5:35 am

    I don’t understand why she can’t do a trial this year, when you’re in town? What’s the difference? It’s not as if your hair is going to dramatically change between now and the wedding is it?

  5. mspony Member
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 6:15 am

    You have every right to be annoyed, it is just bizarre to me that a vendor would put such restrictions on booking and trials. I would hold out until you can find someone that values your business!

  6. Guest Icon Guest
    Heather, Guest @ 6:26 am

    I am using my personal hair lady that I have used for 10 years and she recommended a makeup artist to me. I feel like any “company” is going to try to enforce too many guidelines and rules. Maybe you could ask for rec’s for someone that follows their own set of “rules”.

  7. Member
    Miss. Mew 3 posts, Wannabee @ 6:28 am

    This definitely sounds like a bad vendor to me. I was in a similar predicament, I wanted to book my hair trial 3 months out since my fiance and I live so far away. They pretty well told me I was an idiot, didn’t know what I was doing, but ended up booking it anyways. The trial went terribly so I actually ended up dumping that vendor and found a new one who is amazing! Best of luck to you! I hope everything works out :)

  8. sunhat Member
    sunhat 1453 posts, Bumble bee @ 6:37 am

    Keep moving on is a smart choice in my opinion. So strange that they wouldn’t be flexible to gain your business. You shouldn’t have to jump through hoops to get a vendor to take your business. Keep searching and calling for someone that really WANTS your money!

  9. Member
    ladybugs 151 posts, Blushing bee @ 6:38 am

    I agree- you should keep looking. I recently had my hair and makeup trial with someone I got bad vibes from over the phone. I tried to shrug off her bad attitude by saying maybe she was just having a bad day. After meeting her in person and having a trial- I’m pretty sure every day is a bad day for her. That’s not the type of person you want to be around to start off your wedding day. Now I’m talking to another stylist and it’s like night and day. She’s friendly and seems genuinely interested in making things perfect for my wedding day. Trust your gut and find someone else :)

  10. Member
    hustrawberry 112 posts, Blushing bee @ 6:39 am

    She sounds like she doesn’t know how to make money. Find another vendor who does enjoy making money.

  11. Member
    ziggy86 79 posts, Worker bee @ 6:39 am

    My hairdresser did say she likes to do the trial as close to the wedding as possible because she finds that doing it further out people tend to second-guess themselves and change their minds (probably looking at more pictures, etc). So I understand the reasoning, but having a hard-and-fast rule about it seems silly. Like the florist I called that absolutely refused to even talk to me about floral arrangements unless I had bridesmaid dresses picked. Since they need to match apparently? Explaining that my dresses are going to be navy and the flowers will be yellow did not sway her. I went elsewhere.

  12. Member
    MrsKeAloha 1044 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:01 am

    I am not trying to down play your feelings or the fact your vendor should try better to accommodate you, but you will likely look back at this and other things and wonder why you stressed so much over a trial. If it is such a source of stress, maybe you should find a new vendor who can accommodate you better or even take a slight break from wedding planning – it should be fun and exciting.
    Personally, I did have some difficult times planning. My vendors were thousands of miles away from me, hours away from my family. My hair trial was 2 days prior and it was fine. Take a deep breath, it will all work out – it really does.

  13. parasol Member
    parasol 2955 posts, Sugar bee @ 7:15 am

    Yep, it sounds like you made the right decision by walking away from this vendor. I don’t think it’s fair or good business to have strict rules like this because, as you point out, so many brides don’t fit into that particular mold! While it may not be super convenient for them to do your trial early, as the paying customer, they should be at least trying to accommodate you. Good luck finding someone who’s willing to work with you and will do a great job!

  14. gloves Member
    gloves 190 posts, Blushing bee @ 7:22 am

    Sword, I have to tell you- I didn’t have any problems like that. Is she serious that she’ll only do the trial in the calendar year that your wedding is being held? Thats a) incredibly arbitrary and b) complete nonsense. I did my makeup trial six months before my wedding {in June} just so I could narrow things down and move on to something else. I’ll do my hair trial in October, a full three months before my wedding.

    I say, if a vendor makes up crazy restrictions like this, she clearly doesn’t want your business, and I’m sure that someone else will. Good like :)

  15. gloves Member
    gloves 190 posts, Blushing bee @ 7:23 am

    erm, good luck, rather :)

  16. Member
    kit_kath 1327 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:54 am

    If you’re having trouble with a vendor so soon in the process you’re probably lucky to be rid of them. If she can’t accommodate your schedule restrictions now just imagine what could happen later should something not go 100% accoridng to plan. It sounds like this vendor is just not the best choice for an out of town bride, and I’m sure there are lots of other options that will be a much better fit.

  17. Member
    soon2bmrs.riffey 34 posts, Newbee @ 8:00 am

    ugh this just makes me mad… ive been getting that from every direction.. including my mother telling me “you have a whole year, dont worry about that stuff yet.” well guess what.. had to move my wedding back an other year because i had so many things that needed to get done… she even started to call me a bridezilla just to push my buttons… btw im am so far from a bridezilla, for the most part im laid back, and im doing everything on my own so i dont have to “bother” any of my wedding party or hear them complain… but i am the kind of person that doesnt like being rushed so i want everything done ahead of time.. anyway my point is dont let them bring you down.. there is going to be a vendor that wants YOUR business and will work with your tight schedule.. you are the bride, so you are the one they should work around.. end of story :)

  18. mstoadstool Member
    mstoadstool 2485 posts, Buzzing bee @ 8:08 am

    Oh sweetie, this is so annoying! I know they have timelines, but can’t they make an exception? not everyone can work with their timelines.
    I get annoyedby “famous” make up artist ’cause they act like you should be begging them to work with you, there’s plenty talented people, I don’t have to beg no one.
    I hope you find someone fantastic that’s willing to work with you.

  19. Member
    kbiceling 298 posts, Helper bee @ 8:29 am

    Ugh! How frustrating!

    I think that vendors all have different timelines, and the thing that annoys me the most is when people aren’t upfront!

    I hope you find someone awesome, who will work with you in exactly the way you deserve!

  20. scone Member
    scone 184 posts, Blushing bee @ 9:18 am

    Pass! It is soooo very different to plan for a distance and if she doesn’t get it now she never will. You will find an awesomesauce pro that will make you feel gorgeous and calm!

  21. Guest Icon Guest
    AT, Guest @ 9:56 am

    Bad vendor! Move on! Do not deal with vendors that make life difficult. They are supposed to make sure that you are taken care of properly.

    This vendor is not professional nor sensitive to your needs and pressures. There are lots of talented people out there! Never feel like everything is tied to working with so-and-so… Instead deal with the people who are professional and accommodating.

  22. coyote Member
    coyote 1960 posts, Buzzing bee @ 10:07 am

    Yea this definitely leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but I might be biased when it comes to hair/makeup vendors. :) Who CARES when your wedding is?! You’re an out-of-town bride and you’re paying her for a service. She should deff be more accommodating. I say keep looking! Good luck!!

  23. Member
    stephk527 987 posts, Busy bee @ 10:38 am

    Definitely poor service, I’m glad you’ve decided to move on – I’ve never heard of such a thing. I’m getting married in May of 2013 and I started booking things in December ’11 and January of this year. If any of my vendors had given me crap about it, I’d have peaced them out. . .although they are doing brides a service, they are still getting PAID. I’m so sorry you even have to deal with the frustration, but it’s totally something you should be comfortable and happy with – good luck with the new vendor! <3

  24. Guest Icon Guest
    Amy, Guest @ 12:06 pm

    I think you should just keep moving. There are tons of hair and makeup people out there. I have been looking for one also and booking someone and my wedding in summer of 2013 and price is one of my factors so if they say they can’t book me or can’t tell me the price I move on. I understand prices change but if you are booking someone you are giving them work for that date when otherwise they may not have a bride that day/ won’t make money. That vendor sounds like she is hard to work with and you don’t need someone like that when planning your wedding. Any good makeup artist is booked so far out that they need to schedule things early and will understand that you are a Long distance bride and work with you. I would look at it this way you are paying them to do this and you deserve some type of consideration for how busy you are and why give your hard earned money to someone that seems to not have any consideration for your time.

  25. Member
    Soontobemrslear 10 posts, Newbee @ 12:20 pm

    They are not being considerate to your situation…my wedding is april 2013, and i have had some interesting conversations with vendors let me tell you….but one thing should remain consistant with you and your process….customer service is always key….

  26. Member
    jacofblues 1468 posts, Bumble bee @ 2:22 pm

    My Makeup artist seemed perfect! I loved her makeup, she was well known but had one of the best prices so i didn’t hesitate booking her and paying the deposit! Fast forward a couple of months and I get a phone call from her saying she is now unable to do my wedding day look! It was the first thing that went wrong with our plans and I was devestated because all the other semi decent MUAs had been booked months prior! So MUAs can be a little tricky, but I am sure it will be okay in the end!

  27. sword Member
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 6:19 pm

    Thanks for all the love and support everyone!!! :)

  28. Member
    Beezysbreezy 540 posts, Busy bee @ 9:32 pm

    I think those of us that like to plan things out – i.e. book early – are treated like we’re crazy! I tried to book the liquor vendor right after we booked the venue, and they told me we had to wait until closer to the wedding. Why, is there a reason you can’t keep a calendar for more than a year out?

    I say keep looking around at other vendors. If all the others say the same thing, maybe its just something everyone around there does.

    You can always ask them to do your makeup for a party or something and not say it’s your trial… Good luck!

  29. Member
    Miss Ariel 83 posts, Worker bee @ 8:59 pm

    I wasn’t planning my wedding long distance, but I do live in Louisiana, and my family all lives in California so it made time lines a bit difficult. Our wedding was Labor Day weekend, but I had my shower in California in May. And since we weren’t able to get everyone together sooner, we wound up having the bachelorette party two nights before the wedding.

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