Sorry I’ve been MIA for a bit, y’all. We’ve been knocking things off our wedding to-do list like crazy, I’ve been traveling for consulting and, most of all, I’ve been giving Humpty Dumpty a run for his money—which is equally painful, sucky and horrifically ill-timed.
Illustrations by the source for learning, via teachersandfamilies.com
Let me explain what I mean. I’ve mentioned before how I have a bad foot, and four years after the accident, it continues to be contentious. But I’m not talking about that—in the last few months, I’ve had two other accidents that have had friends and family suggesting we invest in a Bubble Boy suit.
screencap image via imdb
Toward the end of the summer, while visiting flower girl T and her family in Dallas, I tripped over a high curb/my own feet and landed on my face, busting off half of one of my front teeth. Not going to lie, it was awful—I knocked out my two front teeth as a kid and have had teeth anxiety ever since, so it was pretty much a nightmare come true again. Thankfully, T’s mama, who is beyond fab, got me into her dentist the next morning and I was able to get it bonded for a temporary fix.
Then, when I was in New York to have my wedding dress made, I was involved in a total freak accident the second day of my trip. Momma Archer and I had gone for a walk and hadn’t even made it off her block. As we approached a teenager mowing the grassy patch of sidewalk, he mowed over a pipe, causing it to shatter. I was only a few feet away and a chunk of that exploding pipe embedded itself in my ankle. I’ll fast forward through the long, gruesome story, but suffice it to say I was wheeled out of the ER six hours later with 15 stitches, a tetanus shot, a small skin graft and a bone bruise. I was stuck elevating it on the couch for two weeks (thank goodness for the end of Olympic coverage and DVR), and the stitches were in for another week after that. Since they were removed, though, healing has been slow and frustrating and I’m really rather cranky about having a painful open wound and limp five weeks later, and am stressed about healing by the big day.
And about those teeth…the saga continues. Last week, I spent three hours clutching Mr. Archer’s hand as I had my busted tooth and its pair drilled and prepped for veneers. I have HORRIFIC dental anxiety, but found a really patient dentist, Xanax, and blasting Pandora at top volume (Zac Brown Band, in this case) helped some. That being said, my upper lip was so swollen from nine (!!) novocaine shots that I looked like a kitten for a few days, according to Mr. A. I felt like I got punched in the face for most of the week, am still achy, may still need a root canal and paid a fortune for this torture. And frankly? The bonding made my smile crooked, my current set of veneer temporaries resemble yellow chicklets and my formerly-nice smile was just that, so I’m looking forward to having the procedure finished next week.
Mr. Archer has been a champ. He’s in charge of wound care (I’m a ninny, and can barely look at my foot without feeling ill), has been helping me hobble and just in general has been taking gold-star care of his broken girl. We’ve tried to find the humor in it, though…
(No, I don’t remember what he did to make me threaten violence. Like I said, I’m cranky.)
As Groomsman J said to me when he visited us a few weeks ago, “You’re kind of a clumsy person, so this is not all that surprising.” But, like I said, the whole mess is s generally sucky. I’m self-conscious about my smile in pictures from my showers, and we had to reschedule our first dance lessons because I couldn’t walk, much less dance. At this point, I’m running out of healing time, so I’m worried that I’ll need to replace my pretty wedding shoes with something else more supportive and less cute, and I’m worried that I’ll be in pain on our wedding day.
I’m headed out of town again in the morning, and we have tons to do in the next few weeks, so I’m just staying busy and crossing my fingers for quick healing. Is there anyone out there as uncoordinated as I am, or who dealt with a pre-wedding injury? Any suggestions for cut healing, or advice for dealing with situations you can’t control?
- Los Angeles/New Orleans
- Marketing and Consultant
- Wedding Date:
- October 2012
- the Columns Hotel