We’re wrapping up our guest list in the next couple of weeks; yep, we’re still working on this. Someone posted a fun flow chart on Mr. Toadstool’s Facebook wall a few months ago. It was titled “How to decide whom to invite to your wedding.”
The guest list was THE first thing we did after getting engaged (even before the ring), and our policy was simple: family and people we can’t live without.
Our original guest list—created before we told our parents about the engagement—included 269 people (not counting kids), from which 170 were family, 25 were family friends, and 74 were our friends.
We made a point that this is our guest list, we really want to share this day with people who know us and we know, and that means not inviting my mom’s friend’s neighbor just because she invited her to her daughter’s wedding (not so much a made up situation: my mom gets invited to totally random weddings). So we told our parents this is a family and close friends affair, meaning we’re not inviting neighbors (’cause we don’t know them, don’t like them, or don’t have a relationship with them other than the daily “good morning”).
Of course that was over a year ago, and things change a lot in a year: friendships end, couples break up, family is added, and the parents have opinions and suggestions.
The first suggestion came when my dad asked me to invite my grandpa’s siblings; they all live in town and they’re close, and apparently there’s this kind of cold war between some of them since they were not invited to Uncle R’s son’s wedding. So wanting to avoid drama, Dad asked me to invite just them (eight) and plus-ones (a total of 16)—no kids or grandkids included, as that’d double our list.
So we kept adding and taking off people here and there. I haven’t talked to my college friends, who a year ago I wanted to invite, in months, so they’re out, but on the other hand I have new coworkers who I think I might want to invite. It’s a tricky game.
Up to this date we are inviting 260 people, 174 family (including our parents and ourselves), 27 family friends, and 59 friends.
Those numbers can still change; it’ll be at least a week before we start printing invites. Let’s see how our numbers turn out.
What is/was your guest-list policy? How much did your guest list change through your planning?
That is a great chart! I used it too!! The guest list was by far the hardest part of the wedding planning process for me, and you are totally right that it changes over time, especially if you have a long engagement. For example our wedding is 2 weeks away but I just invited a new friend b/c I didn’t know her when we made the list but now we hang out once a week so she is invited. The hardest part for me was leaving off old friends for example my college roommate and I haven’t seen each other for over ten years (other than on fb). We were inseperable in college but just didn’t stay connected after. I didn’t invite her and when she found out she wasn’t invited she unfriended me! O’well, guess I made the right decision there. I went with my gut and that is all you can do! Good luck on your list!!
Wow, that’s a lot of family to invite! Good luck working it out! i’m sure you’ll the right decisions. 
Families are a big mexican thing… you can’t ever get away from not inviting them. My wedding will be Mexican and Cuban and so far the Mexican side is taking over 90 percent of the guest list. He is an only child with only 2 cousins living in the country, only one parent living in the country and one uncle. I have dozens of uncles/aunts and too many cousins to count so I’m dominating the guest list.
Bahahah, love that flow chart!! Our guest list exploded (thanks to my huge family) so we kept it on the smaller side by only inviting a small group of VERY close friends.
The guest list is always tough! We invited everyone who was really important to us (all 200 of them) and added a few here and there at the end, but there will always be people that we could have added. Only you know best on how many/who should be invited/budget restrictions.
Oh boy! We could have used this chart this summer. Two of my 5 children got married in our small town. We should have just put an ad in the paper! My hubby is a well liked attorney and we’ve lived here 34 years. So many friends we couldn’t exclude. The couples had all gone to 4 different colleges. And the two marrying into our family were from different states. Plus my daughter (one of the brides) was working in a different state. Holey Moley! It did explode. We sent 450 invitations for one wedding and 250 to the other (plus my son’s verbal invitations to everyone he saw to “come to my wedding). Somehow it all worked out. Everyone was fed, there was much laughter, tears and dancing. We hired 4 teenagers at the first wedding to play with 60 kids in a separate room during dinner, fed them pizza and my already married, balloon animal/hat maker helped entertain them. They joined us later for the dancing.
It’s never an easy thing and with two young women still unmarried, we’re considering buying them off with a large sum of money instead of the wedding. (JK, wouldn’t want to miss any of the craziness).
Many thank, will print this out for the future!
This is an awesome flow chart for you to put on your guest list. Weddings are so expensive these days – you don’t want to waste a seat. Next step in the process, decide who sits where – http://www.socialtables.com makes that part easy!
Mrs. Toadstool, Obregon, Mexico Age and Occupation: 23, Research Assistant Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Sales Manager Engagement Date: October 1, 2011 Wedding Date: December 2012 Venue: Hacienda los Agaves About Me: I’m a born and bred Mexican girl with a severe coffee addiction, an obsession for books and an aversion for exercise. I like to plan things, so this wedding’s my dream project---I just need to remind myself from time to time that I’m the bride and not just the planner. I recently realized brown’s my favorite color as I was trying to incorporate it in every aspect of our wedding and I'm dreaming of an autumn vibe since we don’t have that around here. I’m marrying my best friend and partner in crime on the day of our nine-year anniversary! He’s an awesome, smart, fun guy who is patient, and crazy enough to spend the rest of his life with me. We’re planning our not-so-dreamy dream wedding in December in a non-traditional way and making it our own.
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