We’re wrapping up our guest list in the next couple of weeks; yep, we’re still working on this. Someone posted a fun flow chart on Mr. Toadstool’s Facebook wall a few months ago. It was titled “How to decide whom to invite to your wedding.”
The guest list was THE first thing we did after getting engaged (even before the ring), and our policy was simple: family and people we can’t live without.
Our original guest list—created before we told our parents about the engagement—included 269 people (not counting kids), from which 170 were family, 25 were family friends, and 74 were our friends.
We made a point that this is our guest list, we really want to share this day with people who know us and we know, and that means not inviting my mom’s friend’s neighbor just because she invited her to her daughter’s wedding (not so much a made up situation: my mom gets invited to totally random weddings). So we told our parents this is a family and close friends affair, meaning we’re not inviting neighbors (’cause we don’t know them, don’t like them, or don’t have a relationship with them other than the daily “good morning”).
Of course that was over a year ago, and things change a lot in a year: friendships end, couples break up, family is added, and the parents have opinions and suggestions.
The first suggestion came when my dad asked me to invite my grandpa’s siblings; they all live in town and they’re close, and apparently there’s this kind of cold war between some of them since they were not invited to Uncle R’s son’s wedding. So wanting to avoid drama, Dad asked me to invite just them (eight) and plus-ones (a total of 16)—no kids or grandkids included, as that’d double our list.
So we kept adding and taking off people here and there. I haven’t talked to my college friends, who a year ago I wanted to invite, in months, so they’re out, but on the other hand I have new coworkers who I think I might want to invite. It’s a tricky game.
Up to this date we are inviting 260 people, 174 family (including our parents and ourselves), 27 family friends, and 59 friends.
Those numbers can still change; it’ll be at least a week before we start printing invites. Let’s see how our numbers turn out.
What is/was your guest-list policy? How much did your guest list change through your planning?