I think that getting married, in general, is stressful enough. But throw a HUGE party into the mix, you know, like a WEDDING, and things just get complicated. A wedding is meant to celebrate a marriage, which is meant to be a lifelong celebration of your love and commitment to each other. It’s not just a “party.” It’s also not a family reunion or a way for your parents to show off to all their friends. But geez, sometimes in the planning stages you can’t tell the difference!
At my last wedding, the guest list, at first, seemed effortless: my friends, my family, his friends, his family. But then, all of a sudden, the sides on the list were uneven! Oh no! I didn’t care but all of a sudden the ex did. Plus, it didn’t help I was given a strict guest-list cap by my dad who was so lovingly paying for the party, and therefore had to invite work people he didn’t want to invite but, you know, “had” to. Chaos ensued and thankfully the wedding went by somewhat smoothly—the marriage, er, not so much.
So this time around, I took a very pragmatic approach to the guest list. I wasn’t going to mess with old high school friends I no longer talk to, or even family members I’m not close to. We invited friends of our parents that mean something to us and therefore we couldn’t imagine celebrating without. Luckily three-quarters of our parents completely understood that since we were paying for everything we were picking the guest list.
Either way, our original guest goal was 75 people! Small enough to keep it intimate, large enough to still invite those important to us and have an awesome party. But 75 quickly turned to 85 and then 100. And wouldn’t you know it? We’re at 108! (my fingers are seriously crossed for that 20% decline rate). Of course I want everyone to come even that means spending extra money on the celebration. But geez, guests add up fast!
At the end of the day, I’m just thankful FI isn’t like his GM R. He and BM K tried to plan a 175-person wedding. They made their separate lists and brought them home to compare. R’s list was 170 people. Ultimately, they had an absolutely beautiful destination wedding in Kauai and the guest list was perfect.
Have you had any struggles with your guest list? Did you quickly lose control or stand your ground?