There’s a song I grew up listening to. It’s kind of a classic. In the song a guy asks the woman in his life about the new man in her life, telling her to go with him and be happy and not to think about how he’s hurting. In the chorus he sings:
What’s he like? Where did he fall in love with you?
Where’s he from? What does he do with his free time?
Ask him why did he take a piece of my life?
He’s a thief that took everything away from me.
Here’s Marc Anthony’s version with English translation:
I always liked the song, but it took a total different meaning a few months ago when a coworker mentioned that although the song is widely known as a romantic song, it was inspired by the writer’s daughter when she got engaged.
After a brief research I found it’s actually widely used as a father/daughter dance song. According to Mrs. Boa Constrictor’s timeline, she used this song to dance with her dad on her wedding day!
All this got me thinking about the father/daughter dance. My dad and I have a tricky relationship. We have similar tastes and personalities, and maybe that’s why we don’t get along easily—we’re so similar we just don’t click, and although I can always talk and joke with him I’ve never been daddy’s girl.
Last year at my graduation ball we danced to the collective father/daughter dance. It was awkward and a bit forced, but we had a lot of fun ’cause we took it as a joke; we were acting up and joking the entire time.
So what will it be when it comes to the F/D dance at the wedding?
I don’t think there’s a way I’ll use “Y Como Es El” because I consider it a romantic song, but I would really like to dance with my dad. I’d have to discuss it with him and see if he’s up to it. I think I would like to have that awkward moment trying to dance with my dad while he complains about how short I am. Will I tear up? Probably, but weddings are tear festivals.
Now, I just need to ask Mr. Toadstool if he’d like to have a mother/son dance and see if my shy FMIL will want to do it.
Do you like the F/D, M/S dance tradition? Did you/would you do it?
My dad and I are only just starting to get along again after a long time of not speaking. There are a couple of other people I’d rather have that dance with than him, so I’m thinking I won’t do it. The man wants to dance with his mom, which is absolutely fine with me.
Even without the prior issues with my dad, I don’t think I’d use a song like that to dance to with him. It seems kind of a downer to focus on loss like that. Plus, my dad wouldn’t have ever seen it that way.
We actually considered not having a reception, and along with a first dance with my new hubby, the father/daughter dance was one of the reasons we decided to have a (super small) one.
I was a little concerned about it at first, because FH has 2 moms, the one who raised him since he was 6 years old, and the one who gave birth to him and has recently come back into his life. But he’s decided to dedicate a song to both of them, and have 2 dances. And I’ll get to dance with my dad 
Really enjoying all your posts!
I just listened to that song for the first time and it is beautiful. Yes, I can see where it would come off as a romantic song, but after your description, it definitely sounds like a sad father facing moving on while his daughter is all grown-up with the new man in her life. The fiancé and I were discussing the whole first dance, F/D, M/S dances…I personally am a shy dancer (especially to slow songs) and am not looking forward to it. The future hubs isn’t a dancer either, but says he will do it for that day. We have no songs selected for any of those dances either (but the wedding isn’t until next May so we have time). My dad and I don’t have the best relationship these days and I have no idea if he’d want to do a F/D dance (he likes to lay low, so I don’t think he’d want to do it, but who knows?)…we’ll see… :-p
The dad in my life didn’t join my family until I was 18. He’s been the best dad ever for the last 11 years and we’re def dancinging together. He met my mom dancing so we’re actually used to dancing with each other. However all the traditional F/D songs are all way to sappy and for dad’s who raised their little girl, which totally doesn’t work for us. If we could have made AC/DC work we’d be dancing to that. Wedding is in 39days and we still dont’ know what we’re dancing to! I say if you have someone you want in that moment you should have that moment.
We did the father daughter dance but i didn’t get emotional at all, which was shocking. Even now when I think about all he did for us for the wedding I start tearing up. But at the time we just chatted and enjoyed the moment. No tears at all.
We are going to do it as it’s really important to my dad. I thought it would be a bit imbalanced to have the F/D dance and no M/S dance (even though it’s not a “thing” where we live). My FI isn’t really into being in the spotlight, so I’m 99% sure we are going to combine the two into a parent song, and invite other parents and children to come dance with us BUT finding a gender-neutral parent song is DAUNTING. I’m thinking about just saying eff it and picking a father/son song, (Father and Friend by Alain Clark and his dad)
We did it and I really enjoyed having that time to talk to my dad about the wedding and just be happy with him. Honestly, we didn’t even really notice the song (aside from the fact that it started and stopped and was our signal to start and stop). We danced to Amy Grant’s “My Father’s Eyes”.
Though much of my wedding still isn’t planned, I know for sure I’m not doing a father daughter dance. My dad and I get along fine but we just DO NOT have that kind of relationship. He is definitely not into any sentimental/emotional stuff, the only “bonding” we do is intellectual: like having long conversations about science, politics, etc. I’ve literally hugged him like 5 times in my life. It’s funny because my fiance’s family is also not very huggy. It didn’t occur to me until now but even his mom who is a wonderful person and really easy to hang out with is just anti-touching.
I think it would be a nice idea to do a toast to our parents because it would honor them in a way I think we’re all more comfortable with.
Though I have always been a daddy’s girl, in recent years our relationship has started to become quite rocky and hurtful at times for different reasons. With that said, the daddy/daughter dance meant even more to me for that exact reason. I considered some of those YouTube videos where the dance starts out all sweet and then the two break out into some hysterical dance and maybe that’s some route you two can go? It doesn’t have to be choreographed and done to “Baby Got Back” but you could still have some fun with it and that may break some of the tension and still allow you to have your last dance with your dad before becoming a wife.
Either way though, I did learn from my wedding and all the planning and such (Gosh I miss it!!!) that you have to remember it’s your day and there are no rules! You get to make them so if you skip it all together that’s fine too! My husband’s mom had passed away a couple years ago so, obviously, no mother/son dance but his dad, who is very lonely and wants to badly to be “part of the new family”…we decided on a “family dance” where all 5 of our kids, our parents, a couple special aunts and, of course, my wonderful husband and I all danced to “My Wish” by Rascall Flatts and everyone loved the idea and no one felt left out or awkward.
Hope this helps in any way and remember to have fun!! It’s your day and it goes by SO fast!
God bless you and your soon to be marriage!
Jamie
I asked my father a little while ago what song he wanted to dance to and he was not planning on dancing at all. He’s VERY traditional, and always figured I’d have a very “church” wedding – no drinking, no dancing, but we’re having both. He said he’s happy to sit and enjoy the evening, and not dance.
It wasn’t meant as a slight, and I don’t take it that way at all – he’s also quite shy and private, so that’s fine.
My fiance will be dancing with his mother, and it’ll mean a lot to him, as he didn’t dance with her at his Grade Eight Graduation dance, and he wants to make it up to her, which is sweet.
I panicked a little, admittedly, but I found out it’s not totally uncommon to have just the bride/father or groom/mother and not the other.
If we WERE dancing, I have a feeling my Dad would have wanted a Scott Joplin tune, and that’s fine with me
After reading your posts on how Perales wrote it for his daughter, I did a little research. He actually wrote it for Julio Iglesias, under his request. Iglesias wanted to sing it for his ex-wife, who has just remarried. Perales did not write it for his daughter as it shows here, Iglesias never got the song because Perales´s record company prohibited.
But story aside, it makes a gread father-daughter song.
http://www.milenio.com/cdb/doc/noticias2011/0040b737a39dc5ab49b345a8c18cee1c
Mrs. Toadstool, Obregon, Mexico Age and Occupation: 23, Research Assistant Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Sales Manager Engagement Date: October 1, 2011 Wedding Date: December 2012 Venue: Hacienda los Agaves About Me: I’m a born and bred Mexican girl with a severe coffee addiction, an obsession for books and an aversion for exercise. I like to plan things, so this wedding’s my dream project---I just need to remind myself from time to time that I’m the bride and not just the planner. I recently realized brown’s my favorite color as I was trying to incorporate it in every aspect of our wedding and I'm dreaming of an autumn vibe since we don’t have that around here. I’m marrying my best friend and partner in crime on the day of our nine-year anniversary! He’s an awesome, smart, fun guy who is patient, and crazy enough to spend the rest of his life with me. We’re planning our not-so-dreamy dream wedding in December in a non-traditional way and making it our own.
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