Catering. We meet again. The last of the “big things” to get done. The last piece of the puzzle as far as comparing prices, meeting with people, and figuring out deposits/payment schedules/etc. After this—decisions are already made (for example: I know who I’ll be using for makeup, but I haven’t booked them yet), and now I just need the corresponding deposits made and I’m done.
But that is not the case with catering.
Image via Just Wenderful / Photo by Becca Rillo Photography
With catering…I’m at a standstill. You may ask why? There are a ton of caterers! We can bring whoever we want! So why am I still on the caterer search? Well, it’s complicated.
I met with one caterer that I really liked. They were fun to talk to, they got exactly what we were looking for, and they got me the contract quickly. In my mind—booked. But my mom had a friendor (friend/vendor) in mind and wanted me to give her a chance to get back to me with a quote. Understandable—but I hadn’t gotten a response from the friendor for just over a month, which scared me a little. A lot of communication comes with the wedding, so it was important to me that whoever we went with was quick to respond to emails.
I finally got the quote from the friendor. It was more affordable than the vendor I liked, yes, but it also wasn’t from the friendor. It was from a local cafe. That confused me. To be quite frank: it also led me to feel a little deceived. I had been told this was something that friendor was doing “on the side” and “outside of work”…but the cafe is her place of work. So now, I’m talking to a cafe that I’ve never eaten it or been to, which definitely isn’t my preference. (As it turns out, we found out later this is something that her place of work had been doing quite a bit—essentially stealing her side work—but at the time, we weren’t aware of that.)
But this is my major issue: we’re spending a lot of money on something that I don’t place a huge value on. The meal is just one part of the evening, and while I do want the guests to enjoy it, I just didn’t love the price tag. The photos? Worth spending a good portion of the budget on because we will have those forever. The venue (i.e., setting for the photos) is also worth a good chunk. The food? Not so high up on the list for us.
So I’m at a crossroads. As far as I can tell, I have a very limited range of options:
Was catering a big-ticket item for your wedding? Up next…we do actually make a decision!
Catering was the most frustrating part of my vendor search, too! I totally agree—it wasn’t a priority for us to serve food that changed our guests’ lives, we just wanted to feed them some tasty hors d’oeuvres.
From my personal experience, I would suggest wading back into the fray and trying to find another caterer. It took us like 8 quotes and 40 preliminary emails to find our caterer, so it was definitely a time suck (and as a grad student with two jobs, I definitely doubted whether it was worth it). But in the end, we found that perfect person who serves awesome food that we don’t have to pay a fortune for.
I think your perfect caterer is out there somewhere! If you have the energy, see if you can find them. If not…there are pros and cons to both your friendor and the professional. I think I would be most frustrated by paying for something I didn’t actually want (the cafe) than paying more for something better than I needed (the other caterer), if that makes sense, but it’s definitely a personal choice!
Good luck! Vendor searches can be SO FRUSTRATING!
Food is one of the most important parts of our budget. Nevertheless, we still don’t have a lot of money to spend on it, so we decided to have a heavy hors d’oeuvres lunch reception. It will save money, without sacrificing quality.
If you don’t want a lighter meal, I would go with your first choice. It may be more expensive, but it will be less stressful in the long run – better safe than sorry!!
My advice – don’t skimp on the food. Food is something that people will not only remember forever (whether it was really good or really bad) but it’s also part of saying thank you to your guests. There is nothing worse than going to a wedding and feeling like you aren’t satisfied or that the food wasn’t good. If people are going to be dancing, drinking and partying all night then good food should be an equal part of that equation. Yes, it’s expensive, but it is an expense that will be worth it! The actual eating of the meal may only take up a small portion of the night but if people don’t like the food and don’t eat enough they’ll be hungry for hours!
Catering is definitely a tough (pricey) decision, and something that you don’t want to have to worry about the day of the wedding. We were really lucky that our venue has an exclusive contract with one caterer, so we didn’t have to do the vendor search ourselves. I’m sure that must be stressful! Good luck!
Ugh I am in the middle of this too. Food is a priority for us, but it still seems crazy to me how much money we are spending on it.
I think you should go with your gut on this, if you like the menus from the original vendor and you have the money to spend then do it. There is no reason to hire someone that is unreliable and unresponsible when you have time. People will definitely remember if the food is bad or the service is bad, and it doesn’t seem like you think the vendor is reliable.
For us, feeling that the caterer was organized, a problem solver and had professional staff was way more important than the quality of the food. We wanted the night to run smoothly and if the food was not memorable that was fine by us. Just something to think about re the friendor.
I’d go with the caterer that you liked. Although food is not a top priority for you (and your future memories), it will be a major part for your guests. I can remember well the food I’ve been served at wedding and whether it was good or not. As a guest you sit and eat for a long time!
I would say go back to your first choice and negotiate. You’ve got a second choice offering you much more affordable rate, so go back to choice one and tell them to sharpen their pencils! They don’t need to know you don’t *really* want to go with the other choice. Good luck!
We are major foodies, so food has always been one of our biggest concerns and we’re totally okay with paying more for it to be wonderful. My only advice is to think about the kind of experience you want to provide for your guests. I would say that if you know your guests will get a great meal AND great service with the vendor you liked rather than your mom’s friendor, go with the vendor. Think of it as paying more for what you know will be impeccable service.
Our caterer came with our venue, but they have an excellent reputation. At the wedding’s I’ve been to as a guest, the food is the thing I remember the most usually so that was important to me. Most guests don’t have an album of photos to remember the wedding. I would go with the amazing food.
I would go with the food that you loved, even though it’s more expensive…the guest will remember what they ate and what a good time they had! We went through a local italian restaurant and the food was to die! It made me so happy that my guests raved about the food. Even now, 3 weeks later…I’m still getting people who are texting me and asking me where the restaurant is! And, it was WAYY cheaper than if we had gone with the same menu (probably subpar food too) with a catering company.
Our caterer search was much less difficult–we basically met with one and were sold after the menu tasting! I’d say if the more expensive option is within your budget, go for it! You clearly love it more and it seems like they’re more professional than the other option. Sure, it’s more expensive–but you’ll be paying for more delicious food AND peace of mind!
We actually booked our venue (which does not allow outside caterers) without tasting the food yet. They serve dinner on Thursday nights in their pub, but it was closed for some renovations when we put our money down. We fell in love with the place, so we did it anyway, and were pleased when we had the food later and it turned out to be delicious.
That being said, my sister-in-law recently got married, and food was a huge deal for her and that’s what she spent most of her budget on. Throughout all of her wedding planning and now mine, everyone in the family keeps bringing up a family friend’s wedding a few years ago with not-very-good food. So people do tend to remember that stuff. My view is that I want people to remember my food as good, but I’m ok if there aren’t fireworks about it.
I really don’t care that much about food either, sorry, but I don’t. For us it was choosing the nice enough option at an affordable price, even if it was a bit more expensive than other options, we’re not just going with the cheap ones because we want it to (at least) be nice.
Food may not be something that is important to you, but trust me it will be important to your guests. Ask someone how a wedding was that they went to and I guarantee you one of the things that will get mentioned first is whether or not the food was good or bad. Bad food means your guests won’t hang around. We had our wedding at a restaurant and we placed a high priority on the food and as a result we had people stay well into the night (past when the reception was scheduled to end). We had so many compliments on our wedding and one of the things people mentioned was the food. Your wedding is not just about you and your fiance getting married (yes that’s a big part of it), but these people are your guests and you are inviting them to a party. Part of throwing a good party and making your guests happy (which is your responsibility as hosts of this party) is to make sure the food is good. If you forget that part of your wedding day is making sure that your guests have a great time you will not have a great wedding because your guests won’t be happy.
Catering was the most expensive single item for our wedding, simply because we were feeding 85+ people a lot of food and drink for 5 hours.
I think it’s important to use a vendor who is familiar with the venue and scope of weddings in general so that minimizes the stress on you.
While I don’t think you need to spend a fortune on food (we certainly didn’t), I do think you should go with someone that meets your full expectations when it comes to taste, communication, and service.
I’d say what you feed your guests (and eat yourself) is important..so “Go with your first choice, even though they’re more, but know that they have AMAZING food and a great staff who all have worked at our venue before.”
I would go with the first one who you were happy with even though its slightly more expensive!
Mrs. Otter, Indianapolis, IN Age and Occupation: 22, Freelance Social Media Consultant Fiance's Age and Occupation: 23, CVS Shift Supervisor Engagement Date: November 11, 2011 Wedding Date: April 2013 Venue: Mustard Seed Gardens About Me: I'm a born and raised Hoosier girl, but a diehard Michigan Wolverines fan. I have a tendency to take too many photos and spend full days having TV marathons. Mr. Otter and I met in high school, started dating a couple years later, and moved in after a month of being official. He is easygoing and makes plans on a whim, while I'm color coordinating my planner and organizing everything in sight. He hates glitter, but it's my favorite thing. I have tattoos and he still won't get one, despite my attempts to convince him. We're planning a small, rustic, and (hopefully!) peony-filled wedding to get our married life started. (And yes, there will be glitter involved!)
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