*hangs head in shame*
I distinctly remember talking about catering. How it was the last “big thing” to do for the wedding. The last big decision, big vendor, the last big thing to figure out…
…well, here I am, hive, head hung in shame, because uh…I forgot a kind of big thing. You know, um…that person that actually marries us? Yep, forgot about that.
Image via She Finds / Featured in an article about choosing a wedding officiant…tips that I clearly need *uh hum*
You see, I totally had our officiant picked out LONGGGG before we were engaged. It was one of the vendors I worked with during my internship—he was hysterical, prompt, fun to be around/work with, and spent a lot of time working with the couple on their vows. Another bonus: he only included the religious elements that the couple asked him to include.
Now, I’m not speaking for Mr. Otter here, but I’m not a believer in God. This wedding is absolutely about the two of us, but when it comes to the vows, it was a simple decision. There wouldn’t be any religious talk happening, because it’s not something I believe in. Knowing that this vendor understood that and would still be hilarious to work with made it an easy choice.
But alas…like most ministers (oops, forgot to mention that, right?) he can only perform ceremonies for the members of his church. OK, understandable…except that I won’t attend church. My interest level also drops considerably when you add in the fact that the church I’m speaking of is now an hour and a half away. So, with that, he was off my list.
Leaving my list at exactly zero possibilities.
Help a girl out—I don’t have any friends I’d want to marry us (except possibly one, and that person is already in the wedding party), sooo…what do I do now?
Now that is a big OOPS! Hope you find someone! Can’t help you, I am not in your area…
Justice of the peace, one of your parents, or you can actually marry yourselves if one of you gets licensed in your state.
Hmmm…that is a toughie. We were married by my family priest, so we didn’t have that problem (we’re both practicing Catholics). For you though I’m not really sure. I noticed that a lot of the blogger bees on here use someone who is special to the bride as their officiant and not someone who means a lot to the groom. Have you asked your FI if there is anyone really important/special to him who he’d love to have as your wedding officiant? Who knows, maybe he’ll have the perfect solution to your problem. If you’ve already done this, I’m really sorry that I couldn’t be more helpful to you and I wish you luck with finding someone.
We are very much the same, not religious, wanting the wedding to be about our love for one another. We found ours on gatheringguide.com We searched the area and emailed her. She is awesome and turns out she is a friend of a friend.
I’m Canadian and I don’t really know the marriage regulations in the individual US states, but do they offer self-uniting licenses in your state/county? Perhaps that’s an option.
you can grab a justice of the peace to do it or get a judge to sign the marriage license when you pick it up that way your married then just write you own vows and have your ceremony then
happyface: Right!? I was looking at a checklist and thought oh no…
Sarah: We briefly considered the best man, as he is funny and a great speaker, but we didn’t want to move him out of his best man position!
faeriegirl05: Our story ended up working much in the same way! We found our officiant on weddingwire, met with her, and put our deposit down that day! She was very personable and so funny – a perfect match!
Angelwinged: A judge was our backup plan if we ended up not finding anyone because my mom works in the county courthouse! Thankfully we did find someone great 
I had to do a double take when I saw your post. That’s our venue and our officiant! Like you we wanted a non-religious ceremony that was about us joining our lives together. We found Rev. Susie through one of our other vendors. Maybe you could ask your vendors for recommendations. Good luck!
Sometimes Unitarian ministers or any non-denominational pastor would be able to marry you outside of the church and only include the religious stuff you want (or don’t want)!
If you were in upstate new york, i’d marry you! hahaha. I’d crack jokes, make your ceremony fun and do nothing but admire the two of you!
Good luck searching for an officiant!
We wanted religion to be a big part of our ceremony because it’s a big part of us and our relationship, so I can’t help you there.
However, we are having FH’s dad marry us. And I know that’s going to bring a HUGE personal touch to the wedding. Maybe you could have a dad or grandfather do it for you?
THAT PICTURE IS OF MY VENUE! So excited!
Sorry, that’s all I have…
We found an officiant service in our tri-state area that worked out wonderfully. They have a roster of many people that specialize in areas, types of weddings, etc. We hand-picked our officiant that way. Maybe investigate that as an option? Just as an FYI: our officiant let us include as much religion as we wanted, which is to say none, so there probably are other folks that can work with you.
The mayor of any town in your county. No cost and he let me write our entire ceremony. We included what we wanted to say and he had no problem with it.
Try GOOGLE. Thru it I was able to find a complete list of all the Officants in our Destination. Then I was able to check out their own Websites for more info (many will tell you on them either way if they will do non-denominational / non-religious ceremonies).
As to personalities…
I also found thru clicking around that I discovered that many had Wedding Videos on U-Tube… either linked to their own websites, or that other B&G’s had put up (using the Officiant’s name can help you find them). So I was able to watch and get a feel for the types of services they provided, and their approach to the ceremony etc.
IMO easiest way to narrow down the list… is when you can actually “see” the Officiant in their role, and you can judge for yourself.
Hope this helps,
This was an issue for us as well, and is why we chose a mutual friend that would make sure our ceremony stayed true to our beliefs. Good luck finding someone, hopefully it’s a quick search!
We’re using the officiant service that comes with the venue since the pastor I wanted is busy on our wedding day and the pastor I grew up with is now an atheist.
Start looking for secular celebrants in your area. I might also recommend Unitarian Universalist pastors, who will be SUPER flexible about language.
Our officiant actually runs a website called weddingceremony.org, where you can look up officiants in your area. We were able to pick our officiant based on religious affiliations (my fiance is Catholic but we are getting married outside) and location. We ended up being contacted by about 4 different people and then meeting with 3 of them. It really was quite easy to use!
Yeah I believe at the end of the day you are getting married and it doesn’t matter who marries you or whether they are religious and you are not! I am in that boat! My fiance is catholic whereas I have no religion (not atheist) so we are getting married in a church!
Mrs. Otter, Indianapolis, IN Age and Occupation: 22, Freelance Social Media Consultant Fiance's Age and Occupation: 23, CVS Shift Supervisor Engagement Date: November 11, 2011 Wedding Date: April 2013 Venue: Mustard Seed Gardens About Me: I'm a born and raised Hoosier girl, but a diehard Michigan Wolverines fan. I have a tendency to take too many photos and spend full days having TV marathons. Mr. Otter and I met in high school, started dating a couple years later, and moved in after a month of being official. He is easygoing and makes plans on a whim, while I'm color coordinating my planner and organizing everything in sight. He hates glitter, but it's my favorite thing. I have tattoos and he still won't get one, despite my attempts to convince him. We're planning a small, rustic, and (hopefully!) peony-filled wedding to get our married life started. (And yes, there will be glitter involved!)
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