”¦What a Weekend Baby: Miss Sword Has a Meltdown

This is the last installment in my series (my apologies if you’re ready for me to move on by now).

That said, if you want to read what else happened during my “My Wedding Dress Doesn’t Fit, and I Feel Crazy, But My Shower Rocked, What a Weekend Baby” posts, then you can catch up now!

First, I showed off my White House Black Market shower dress, then I booked a florist and forced Sister Big Eyes and Mom Sword to make tartan fabric boutonnieres, and finally I shared all about my shower!

As I’ve already shared the good, it’s time to progress to the bad and the downright ugly.

My dress, lovingly referred to as Evie, arrived in late August, but I wasn’t able to schedule an appointment to pick her up until October. NO PROBLEM. Mom Sword and I showed up at 5 PM snagging one of the last appointments of the day. I was a wee bit hangry which put me off to a bad start, but BM L Dawg had encouraged me to skip on a pre-fitting snack and I’m glad she did!

This is what I looked like before my appointment:

black-and-white-shower-in-mn-oct-009

This is what I looked a mere ten minutes later:

black-and-white-shower-in-mn-oct-014

Evie didn’t zip up, hive. Well, that’s not entirely true. Here’s the whole (ugly) story:

When I first ordered my dress, I was encouraged to buy a strapless bra that would be sewn into the dress to keep the MN twins in check. Well, both bra and dress were in my room when I arrived, so I put on the strapless bra first and slipped into my gown.

black-and-white-shower-in-mn-oct-007

But when the girl tried to zip up my dress, IT DIDN’T HAPPEN. She tried really hard but there was no way it was going to zip up to the top. I feel like I’ve lived through every bride’s worst nightmare and I’ve come out a better person on the other side (said in a sappy, melodramatic voice).

The thoughts running through my head were, “This isn’t happening to me! MY dress is a size bigger than the sample dress which FIT LIKE A GLOVE. Could the sample have stretched out that much? Damn my huge boobs, back fat, and wide Scandinavian rib cage! Damn them all!” To make matters worse, I was having my monthly girl thing and I’m sure the extra bloating wasn’t helping my case. Ugh.

The panic started to set in as the girl helping me went to get the alterations lady. Mom Sword was sitting quietly on the couch feeling terrible for me, and that’s when the tears started to fall. There was no way I was going to ask them to take out my dress! When the alterations lady arrived she suggested we try it without the strapless bra saying that it was a terrible bra with really weird cups that were most likely adding to the problem. So we went bra-less and relief upon relief, Evie zipped up!

But it was too late to stop the meltdown, because things got even worse. As I stared at my dress it struck me how wrinkled and disheveled it looked. In my hangry, fragile and period-driven state, I was starting to doubt why I’d chosen this dress in the first place!

Then I noticed A FLAW. On the right hip of my dress a small part of the ruched fabric was puffing up. It looked like there was extra fabric there or that it had been stretched or pulled, because while the left hip lay flat, the right side looked like crap. Of course the alterations lady didn’t believe me at first and kept trying to calm me down instead. I’m sorry, but I hate being told to relax—it’s my pet peeve! I’m an emphatic and intense person, and people have been telling me to me to relax my entire life and all I wanted was some compassion, not someone glossing over things and making me feel like a freak for getting upset!

Anyway, she started to say that a good steaming/pressing would fix the problem on the right side. On the exterior I was trying to be understanding but on the interior I was getting even more upset! It’s a flaw! How could she not see it?!?! I begged Mom Sword for some support but Mom Sword doesn’t know dresses all that well, and said from far away it wasn’t visible, but as she got closer she could see the imperfection on the right hip. Just when I was beginning to feel like I was in a dream and clearly imagining things, the alterations lady said she’ll pin the fabric in question down and then sew it, and we’ll be able to pick up the dress in a week’s time.

Excuse me? Does this mean you’re agreeing with me? She even went to steam the dress to show me how the wrinkles would come out (they were so bad), and my guess is IF she could have steamed out the flaw, she would have, but it looks like she couldn’t.

When we went to the front desk to schedule the pickup they asked when I could come back and I said, “I can’t! I live in Chicago; I won’t be back until December!” We decided Dad Sword and MOH/Sister Big Eyes would pick up the dress the following week. I asked Sister Big Eyes to try it on for me so she could assess how it looked, even though she hadn’t been there to see the flaw in the first place. It was my best option!

**********

I’m happy to report that the dress was picked up this past weekend and it looks beautiful. I wish I could say I was 100% happy now, but to be perfectly honest, I’ve fallen out of love with my dress. I just feel so annoyed with myself for barely fitting her, and I’m frustrated with the delicate fabric and its haphazard look. I’m sad that I didn’t smile very much when I was wearing her, I’m pissed I started off on such a terrible note, and I’m angry with society (and myself again) for all the pressure I feel to love my dress.

I love my groom more than anything and that’s all that matters, right? My relationship with Evie is a work in progress, like any relationship I guess. In the end it was a bit of a blessing that she didn’t fit me well, because if she was too loose, I’d have gotten overly comfortable and relaxed. I would have become less diligent about what I ate, and I might not have had a good fitting come December.

While that whole experience was really difficult, I feel like I learned a lot.

1. Don’t go to your appointment hangry. Or bloated (although there’s not much you can do about that).

2. Try to look your best so you FEEL your best.

3. Set the expectations bar super low.

4. Keep in mind that EVERYTHING is super tight and tiny in the bridal industry.

5. Remember your groom loves you for the size you are, and that size is not just a good size, it is the right size for you in that moment.

Mom Sword even got me to chuckle during my meltdown because she started laughing hysterically at me when, through my tears, I asked her to get a few photos for the blog. I knew this would be a good story and I want to make a real effort to share the not-so-good parts of wedding planning as well as the sunshine-y moments. So yea, I was thinking of Weddingbee during this moment:

black-and-white-shower-in-mn-oct-012

The good news is I am going to have a family friend do my dress alterations and that already makes me feel more comfortable! Evie is currently hanging in a closet in my parent’s house and I’m hoping our next meeting goes a lot smoother! :)

(all photos personal)

So, that’s my story. What’s yours?

BLOGGER

Mrs. Sword

Location:
Chicago
Wedding Date:
March 2013
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comments

  1. Guest Icon Guest
    Jashshea, Guest @ 7:59 am

    Oh girl! I feel you. Down to the weird hip/ruching thing.

    My timeline was about the same – Try on sample/buy in February (sample was 3 sizes smaller than what I bought so clearly very stretched out, try on end of July, wedding in November.

    July: Dress was TIGHT and I felt fat and ugly and so so so hot. When I went in for my fitting in Sept about 2-3 lbs lighter (which is weight I can gain from morning to night, so no big drop) and it was completely FINE. They tied the corset looser, jacked my twins down a bit and fixed the hip thing. At my 3rd fitting this past week it was absolutely AMAZING. Alterations are my best friend.

    I don’t want to be another voice in the chorus telling you to relax, but wanted you to know there were others who had been there and it may just work out great. Good luck!

  2. Member
    mstreasure 1655 posts, Bumble bee @ 8:08 am

    lol @ Minnesota Twins

    I’m sure you’ll look gorgeous the day of. Maybe you should get a different bra and see if that helps.

  3. Guest Icon Guest
    39bride, Guest @ 8:14 am

    “My relationship with Evie is a work in progress, like any relationship I guess.”

    SOOOOO true, I think!

    I had a similar experience, though without the geographic problems. I had some concerns at my first fitting and the small change the seamstress subsequently made did NOT look good. It was compounded by me having my period with the 2nd fitting. I was so freaked out and the seamstress said it was simply because of the bloating. She insisted any of the other concerns (including one hip looking funny!) would be fixed by the steaming. I took it home with two weeks to go, and desperately searched for a couture seamstress. I was lucky to find a superb one who not only reversed the mistake the first one had made, but clipped some stitches here and there that made the dress absolutely perfect.

    I always thought the dress was beautiful, but not until she had made those final fixes did I feel that it was perfect. And I think it wasn’t until I saw the wedding pictures that I completely fell in love with it and felt 100% comfortable about my appearance.

    Hang in there!

  4. Member
    mstoadstool 2485 posts, Buzzing bee @ 8:38 am

    I’m getting my dress custom made and loving it is definetly a work in progress.
    I hear you about the pressure of loving your dress, I felt so bad I didn’t cry in happiness when I saw mine.

  5. Member
    otter 1321 posts, Bumble bee @ 9:22 am

    I’m SURE that you’re going to look amazing – but I have to say, I got a chuckle out of asking your momma to take photos! :)

  6. Member
    honey 1684 posts, Bumble bee @ 9:25 am

    Oh girlfriend I had second thoughts/doubts at my fitting too…I very much cheated on my dress for a few months. The good news is that the day of, the feeling is a million times better and you will love Evie :) Thanks for sharing your story, I’m willing to bet it is for more common than we think!

  7. Member
    caradcollins 46 posts, Newbee @ 10:16 am

    This literally JUST happened to me last week!!! 1st fitting I put the dress on and it was perfect/flawless, but too big and needed to be altered. So they pinned and tucked and got it all ready. I came back 2 weeks later and honestly, I looked in the mirror and thought they botched my dress!!!! There were parts of it that were all bunchy and sewn all crooked, buttons missing, the woman that was putting it on me was trying to close the hook and eye closer above the zipper and you would have thought they were each located on my hips the way she was yanking on the dress trying to close it…it zipped just fine…why on earth are you pulling that hard for a hook and eye?! and why am I hearing seams ripping while you’re doing it? Then I walk out to where the mirrors are and I start crying because i can’t believe this nightmare is happening! My seamstress they assigned me didn’t speak any english at all…and the shop owner keeps saying..but with your hair and make up done, you’ll be just stunning that day!!! STUNNING WITH HAIR AND MAKEUP?! what about the $2,000 dress I’ve purchased that you’ve apparently taken very little pride with fixing. then the seamstress kept saying..”i steam, I steam, all ok”, yet my mom who knows how to sew well could clearly see that the seams were off and that there was something wrong with the dress, just like I could. I currently have a backup plan in place in case I go back to try it on again and it’s worse, or not suitable to move forward with. Oh yeah, forgot to mention we’re 18 days away from my wedding. :/

  8. Member
    anemonie 1578 posts, Bumble bee @ 11:46 am

    I paid for custom cup, custom cut, all that…but I don’t know why, because when my dress came in, it did not fit. At. All. I had a lot of dress regret because when it didn’t fit right, it looked all lumpy and unflattering and blah.

    I only had a month for alterations, so after a couple fittings, I pressured my seamstress into giving me one more fitting before she finished putting on the snaps and hooks to make sure it fit properly, even though she said it wasn’t necessary. I also made a point to speak up and be firm about exactly how I wanted. It fit perfectly. It’s amazing what a good fit can do to raise your dress esteem. I also didn’t end up wearing the strapless bra I got, even though I’m very busty, since it does make a boned dress fit a bit wonky, and a good fit was enough support.

    I don’t know that I was jumping-on-a-couch in love with my dress after seeing so many long, white dresses for so many months; maybe it’s wedding dress apathy caused by overexposure. But I can tell you that I like the way I look in my wedding photos and especially the way the dress looks when it’s part of the big picture (hair, flowers, veil, shoes, groom, etc).

  9. Member
    RapunzelRapunzel 812 posts, Busy bee @ 1:53 pm

    I absolutely love this post: it’s so honest and I love that you had your mom capture this moment because you wanted to post honestly about the good, the bad, and the ugly. You’re right: no matter if you come to love your dress or not, which I hope you will, Mr. Sword is what counts! He loves you no matter what, and if you need to find another dress–even if it’s a much cheaper one, if it makes you feel more beautiful on your big day then do it! But again, no matter what, I’m so glad you have kept perspective on Mr. Sword since he’s what really matters!

  10. Member
    ChicagoDreamer 509 posts, Busy bee @ 3:05 pm

    I love the photos for the blog. I’m sorry your fitting didn’t go as you imagined but I know you’ll make a beautiful bride!

  11. Guest Icon Guest
    CoCo, Guest @ 3:41 pm

    Please make sure you get adequate support for your twins!!! My dress also didn’t fit at the first fitting unless I took off my corset bra and I choose to have the dress fitted with the expectation that I wouldn’t wear a bra on my wedding day since I didn’t want to let my dress out and the seamstress said my dress had a built in bra. BIG MISTAKE! Like you, I have some mighty impressive twins (36DD). I lost weight during the fitting process and by the final fitting the dress looked fantastic on me. Unfortunately, on the wedding day I was slightly bloated (from drinking and indulging at the rehearsal dinner and other pre-parties) and I didn’t anticipate that the dress would be SO heavy and constantly pull down due to the weight (which I’ve worn many strapless dresses and never had that problem before). I looked like a porno star the whole day and had to constantly pull up on my dress and try to push my twins down. Everyone wants to look sexy on their wedding day but I was literally spilling out the top of my dress. I really wished I had found a different less bulky bra or had straps added to my dress to help with the weight of the dress. We haven’t received our pics back from the photographer yet but I’m seriously worried that they’ve all been ruined with my extreme cleavage. Learn from me and best of luck with your Evie!

  12. Member
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 4:41 pm

    I’m hoping your next fitting goes better and that you fall in love with Evie all over again!

  13. Member
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 5:28 pm

    @Jashshea: Yea, I think losing my period weight would help a lot! thanks for the words of encouragement!
    @Mrs. Treasure: @Mrs. Treasure: Haha! So yea, the rest of the story is they let me return the bra since they were the ones who told me to buy it and now I will be looking for a better fitting and less thick bra for sure!
    @39bride: SO weird how similar our experiences were! Glad you ended up so happy with your dress!
    @Miss Toadstool: Yea, it’s way too much pressure! I can’t wait to see your dress!
    @Miss Otter: Yea, that part was pretty hilarious.
    @Mrs. Honey: Good point! I’m sure I’ll feel so much different on the big day! Glad I’m not alone!
    @caradcollins: Ohmigosh, what an awful experience! I’m so sorry that happened to you!
    @anemonie: Absolutely! I think a good fit will change everything! Thanks for your insight!
    @RapunzelRapunzel: awww thanks for the love! I’m glad you appreciated it! :) @CoCo: Haha, thanks for the words of warning! I want the twins to stay put all night for sure!
    @Mrs. Pony: thanks girl, you’re very sweet!

  14. Member
    MinnesotanInDC 59 posts, Worker bee @ 5:46 am

    Hey Girl! Let me just say I’m loving your posts because we are going through so many of the same things. I’m living in DC, but am from/wedding is in Minnesota, so I am doing the same travel trips back, and planning from afar! I thought I’d leave you a note about the dress situation because I feel your pain.

    I got my dress from the exact same store, ha, I even have my pictures of picking up my dress in the same room you are in! I was so disappointed in how wrinkled my dress came to me. I really believe they need to start steaming their dresses before they deliver the final product! Sadly I left my dress there and have not been able to go home again to look at it. A crying call to my mom has her convinced to have it professionally pressed when I go home for Christmas. I think the solution is going to find your dress at another store in Chicago, trying it on again in all of its steamed and perfect glory! There is definitely a reason you picked it ; ). At least, that’s what I keep telling myself. Chin up! And good luck with the remainder of the planning.

  15. Member
    shortbread 290 posts, Helper bee @ 7:43 pm

    I’m always happy when a bee is able to share the good, the bad and the ugly. Often we hear stories of how perfect wedding planing is going but never get to hear that things do go wrong. It’s okay to not always have a smile on our face. Thanks for posting a real experience with pictures even. I may die a little inside if my dress is tight at all. If I ever have the urge to not go to the gym or eat poorly I think about the dress and how I refuse to have back fat on my wedding day :) . Not that your issue was your weight just the bra.

  16. Member
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 9:40 am

    @MinnesotanInDC: Yay a fellow bride in an LDR with her wedding in MN! So nice to hear from you! I hope your planning goes very smoothly and I agree, can’t they start steaming these dresses?!?!? Wow the wrinkles.

    @Shortbread: Aww thanks for the kind comment, I appreciate it so much. :) And I’m definitely dealing with back fat as well girl! haha, it’s good motivation!

  17. Guest Icon Guest
    Tailored Engagements, Guest @ 9:41 am

    I was very inspired by your story! I think a lot of brides go through this. I’m glad to read you DIDN’T go on a crash diet like many brides to fit in your dress. Lastly, I like that you admitted you fell out of love with your dress. Many brides do this but don’t want to admit to it.

  18. Member
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 9:46 am

    @Tailored Engagements: Thank you for the comment, there was no appeal in a crash diet, although I’m making wiser decisions, it is frustrating to feel so much pressure (from myself) to lose weight before my next fitting. Yea, I’m sure brides fall out of love with their dresses a lot, but I’m sure they all fall back in love, or at least I hope they do!

  19. Member
    jacofblues 1468 posts, Bumble bee @ 1:20 am

    The same thing happened to me but I have to fork out extra money for alterations! Despite working really hard on my weight apparantly I have put weight on (even though all my clothes are looser and I KNOW I have lost weight) So yeah annoying!

  20. Member
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 11:11 am

    @Jacofblues: Argh, sorry to hear that! How annoying for real!!!

  21. Guest Icon Guest
    Courtney, Guest @ 6:54 am

    I completely understand the job situation. My fiance just found out that he will working out of state for the whole 6 months before the wedding!

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