Today is our one-month anniversary. In some ways, I can’t believe it’s already been a month. In others, I can’t believe it’s only been a month.
One thing I know for sure is that I don’t feel different.
I can honestly say that our relationship isn’t any different now that we’re married. We’re the same people we were before September 29th, just with bands of metal on our left ring fingers and a marriage certificate in our fireproof safe. It’s changed my health insurance and even my name (well, not legally quite yet), but not who I am.
I wish I felt different. Marriage is supposed to be a transformative experience, something that changes everything about you. That just hasn’t been my experience. From day one of our relationship, Mr. T and I have been very committed to one another. I have never once felt that we would break up and neither of us has ever threatened to walk away. Maybe this level of security in our relationship is why marriage hasn’t changed anything. Maybe our marriage is too new for things to feel different just yet. Maybe things never will feel different. As long as we’re as happy as we are today, I’m OK with that.
How long did it take before you felt married?
i could have written the same post. i thought there would be some super blissful change in our relationship, but its really just the same. its good, just like it always has been, but it is almost hard to believe were married since everything is so similar!
an aside, were boarded up in our apartment for 3 days due to the hurricane and broke into our wedding cake this morning 
. im glad we only decided to wait a month for that, haha!
Not married, so I can’t speak to any “change”, but it sounds like you’ve been so secure in your relationship all along that you didn’t expect marriage to solidify it or add any protection– it’s just made what you already felt “official”.
I didn’t experience this huge change in how I felt, however, we left the day after to go on a mini moon and during our get away, we both said we felt closer to one another and that there was a stronger sense of security in our relationship. We were so happy and it was such a joyous event that we were pretty blissfull for a few weeks!
I realized a long time ago that my partner and I have been “married” for a very long time. Way before I walked down the aisle, I knew neither one of us would be walking away. We have been together for five years, lived together for 3 years. We have a house and a mortgage and a life together. The wedding, to us, just made it official. Everyone said, and there are blogs dedicated to the idea, that the wedding was only one day, not necessarily life-changing or transformative. The ceremony only solidifies your bond. A bond it seems you already have. I now get to call him husband and say to the world that he is mine and I chose him. But as to feeling married? I felt that way, in my heart, nine months after we met. I can only hope I get to feel this way forever. I did get the wedding blues, though, and found that doing things with him we had never done helped, as well as using some of the wedding money we received to buy things for the house and focusing on other home improvement projects.
Happy one month!! I definitely felt a change, but moving halfway across the country and only knowing your spouse will do that!
Even though my husband and I have always been committed to each other, it wasn’t until our first major fight where I realized – holy crap, I’m stuck with this person. Not that I would have walked away over a fight earlier in our relationship, but just realizing that I’d better work on whatever we were fighting about because this was the real thing.
Oh thank goodness! I was wondering if anyone else felt the same. I only ever kept hearing about how it’s transformative, and how people change and things feel different in a more solid sense. But no! Things are solid between me and DH and we haven’t changed ourselves or towards ourselves. I actually had a freak out this weekend thinking why hadn’t I felt this ‘change’ and wondered if that was my adjustment to the married life. Which is weird since really, what would I adjust to if everything is sort of the same?
Thanks for the reassurance! And Happy One Month!
Happy one month! (Our good friends share your wedding date.) For me, feeling married was a feeling that settled in gradually.
We spent over a year and a half actively trying to be “just engaged” even though my last name, tax status and work status had changed from getting legally married, so when we finally got married married, it felt like a small but big change. Saying husband and wife… being a Mrs. All that felt very new and right to me.
Happy one month! Ours just went by — I think it really feels nearly the same, for us, but there’s a calm there that wasn’t present before (and that might just be because I don’t have to do wedding stuff anymore!). It feels… easier, I guess? But not really hugely life changing.
happy one month! we’re not married yet, but to be honest, I’m happy that it seems that many people don’t really notice a change. I’m doubting that I will notice a change either since I’m not sure that anything will change. It just feels so anticlimactic.
@Miss Panda: It really is anticlimactic. Thank you for finding the word to articulate how I feel.
we celebrated our one month anniversary yesterday, too. i mostly agree, we were in a long committed relationship before we got married and not much feels different for us either. however, i do feel a sense of relief that life is back to normal and we do feel like even more of a team – a real duo – in a new way, i guess. it’s hard to explain. we’ve always been partners, and we’ve always looked at each other that way, but now it’s 100% true to everyone else, too. also nice to know that if we accidentially got pregnant at this very moment (thanks hurricane Sandy) it would be legitimate hahaha. fingers crossed that is not the case, but still.. good to know.
Happy 1 month! Marriage has been somewhat of a change because we’ve adjusted to living together. Also, getting used to a new last name has been an adjustment. 3 months down, and I’m loving marriage!
Happy one month!! We celebrated ours yesterday! I totally agree with you! No difference over here — other then getting to say “husband” which is SO fun
We’re just over the two month mark and nothing has changed at all. But I am SO glad about that. I don’t understand why anybody would want marriage to be transformative and “change everything about you” – why would I want my husband to be a different man to the one I fell in love with before our marriage and why would he want the same of me? We do really enjoy calling each other husband/wife and Mr/Mrs though – don’t think that’ll ever grow old
Mrs. Treasure, Chicago Age and Occupation: 24, Law Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Equity Analyst Engagement Date: July 30, 2011 Wedding Date: September 2012 Venue: Saint James Chapel at Quigley Prep/Murphy Auditorium About Me: I was born and raised in Indiana, but now live in sweet home Chicago. I'm a third-year law student and aspiring trial lawyer, which means Mr. T never wins an argument. Other than Mr. T, I love singing, exploring the Chicago restaurant scene, and Notre Dame football. We met in a musical (just like my parents!) and after 4 years together, we are excited to be planning our urban "destination" wedding.
Latest Gallery Pics