We met with our first potential JOP earlier this week, and we had a great conversation with him. He was very funny and relaxed, and I really liked him. His fees were a little on the high side, but not that unreasonably so. And I really believe that he would do a great job. I’m just not sure I can justify the cost, especially when we haven’t looked at any other JOPs.
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Photo by: Feather and Stone on Wedding Chicks via Lover.ly
But what I realized very early on in the conversation was how I knew very little about how I wanted the ceremony to go. What should be the most important part of the day is the part that I haven’t really thought it through yet.
Things I know I want to include:
1) Emphasis on the community. I knew I wanted to focus not just on our love and us coming together as a family, but I also wanted to put an emphasis on our roles in the community. I believe that it’s really important to say our vows in front of our friends and family because we are cementing our promises not only to each other, but in the eyes of the people who are so important to us.
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Image via Elizabeth Anne Designs / Photo by LunaPhoto
I originally wanted to have the vows in the middle of a circle but unfortunately, due to our venue, the geometry wasn’t in our favor, and it was just not going to happen.
Thus, instead I wanted to focus on rituals such as a ring warming ceremony, which will let everyone be a part of our ceremony.
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Image via Offbeat Bride / Photo by Charla Maarschalk and Jana Photography
2) Personalized vows. PBear and I have a huge number of inside jokes, gags, and silly things that are just us. I really want to tell everyone how much I love him in my own words, even though I will cry like a baby the whole time.
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How freaking adorable is this. / Photo by Taylor Jackson Photography
3) Readings. I’m a total sap, and I really love readings about love and romance. The last couple of weddings we’ve been to haven’t had readings, but I really love to include some additional and very dear people to us. There are people that I would like to be a part of our day but don’t seem to fit the bill of bridesmaid/groomsman, and I think any of them doing a reading would be lovely. Of course, that’s assuming I ever narrow down the readings.
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Image via A Practical Wedding / Image by Kelly Lorenz
I love the idea of using a children’s book. That’s very us, and oh there are so many good choices. Not really sure what to pick, though.
Did anyone realize late in the game that they had not really thought very much about the main event? Did you plan it out or just let your officiant figure it out?
That personalized vows photo is so freaking adorable.
We waited to find our officiant once we had written our ceremony, because I knew we wanted something that represented us and not what our officiant may feel has to be said. Those vows are seriously adorable, please do that!
At the beginning of the wedding planning process, the ceremony was my biggest concern. I really want the ceremony to be meaningful, but neither my fiance nor I are very religious and we come from differing religious backgrounds, so it made going the traditional route difficult. I was relieved when we found our officiant–an interfaith minister. She got to know us first and then sent us a “draft” with many different options (rituals, readings, etc.) to choose from. We are meeting with her several times before the wedding and she is also doing some pre-marital counseling for us. She is letting us having as much input as we want, but we’re letting her take the lead because she has a lot of experience and has been a great guide for us. All in all, she is wonderful and I really feel like the ceremony is tailored to us. I hope you are able to find what you are looking for in your officiant.
I am planning our ceremony at the moment too. Unfortunately I don’t get much choice of things as its a catholic ceremony (my fiance is catholic, I am not) however I am trying my best to include things that we both want.
My pastor is marrying my FI and I and he is extremely excited. We will be his first wedding! We are writing our own vows and we are also doing a reading in honor of our loved ones that passed away. We are doing a very famiy oriented wedding so no sides at the ceremony and no seating chart for the reception.
To include your family and friends, one simple and sweet thing to do is have a response from them. In our wedding, our officiant said:
The marriage of K and G unites their families and creates a new one. They ask for your blessing. Will all of you, by God’s grace, do everything in your power to uphold and care for these two people in their marriage? Please say, “We will.”
And everyone said, “We will.” It was really sweet and we felt very loved 
Miss Panda, Boston, MA Age and Occupation: 26, Graduate Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 23, Graduate Student Engagement Date: June 27, 2011 Wedding Date: June 2013 About Me: I love window shopping, cute animals, crafting, baking, and most forms of procrastination. I tend to be overly meticulous with choices to a point of complete and total indecision. Mr. PBear and I met and live in the amazing city of Boston. We are big nerds who love trying new foods, playing video games, and cuddling with our adorable hamster. After 5 years together, we are planning an intimate, DIY-heavy, vintage garden themed, nonreligious wedding in the city where we fell in love.
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