How Wonderful Life Is: What Did She Say?

So you read all about our ceremony, and you think that everything was hunky-dory and romantic and sappy and beautiful, right? Well, I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you about how it really was. Gotta keep it real, right?

After we signed the register, as Wizard Aunt was reading our marriage blessing, I noticed something wiggling near Mr. Wiz’s left ear. As I looked closer, I realized”¦oh my %#@$, he had a spider on his head. Literally a spider, crawling all over the side of his head and glasses. Don’t believe me? Look here (apologies in advance to Mr. Wiz for posting this extreme closeup of his face!):

http://www.weddingbee.com/

The angle of that photo makes it look smaller than it was; it wasn’t huge by any means, but it definitely wasn’t insignificant either. In the minute or so that it took Wizard Aunt to read the closing blessing, it had dangled from his glasses, crawled all over the side of his head, and disappeared somewhere behind his ear.

So as Wizard Aunt was closing out our ceremony and pronouncing us husband and wife, I was a bit preoccupied. I showed you this picture in the last post:

http://www.weddingbee.com/

*

Did you think I was gazing lovingly into Mr. Wiz’s eyes? In reality, it was more like this:

http://www.weddingbee.com/

It was all I could think about. I spent the last reading of our ceremony dithering over what to do: Should I just ignore it? But what if it bit him? Should I try to swat it away? But what if it bit me, or what if I freaked out and yelped (as I am wont to do when killing bugs), or what if I missed and slapped him in the face? What a way to end our wedding ceremony that would be!

So I settled for the best thing I could think of. I looked him square in the eye, and very clearly mouthed at him:

“You. Have. A. Spi. Der. On. Your. Head.”

He looked at me like I was nuts and mouthed back, “I have a”¦what?”

I knew then that he wasn’t going to get it, and it wasn’t worth repeating over and over again to try. So I shook my head and shrugged a little, and made a mental note to NOT put my hand on that side of his face when we went in for the kiss.

People complimented us on our very picturesque first kiss, even asking if we’d practiced that pose”¦

http://www.weddingbee.com/

*

But in reality, it was because I was avoiding going anywhere near his head with my right hand. Hey, at least it looked nice!

People asked me after the ceremony what I said to him at the end. Lots of people said I looked mad, like I was reprimanding him for something. Awkward!

I told Mr. Wiz about it after the ceremony and he almost didn’t believe me. The spider was nowhere to be seen after that, so there was no way to prove it to him. When we got our pictures back from our photographer, the very first thing I did was zoom in on all the ceremony pictures that showed that side of his face until I found one with the spider. Mr. Wiz’s reaction? “What. WHAT. No way. Nuh uh. That’s Photoshop’ed.” Nope, sorry dear, I was telling the truth all along: you had a spider on your head.

Miss something? Follow along here!

First, I kick things off with our wedding video.
I go stir-crazy, and almost choke to death, the week before our wedding.
We had a pretty bad venue setup/rehearsal day.
I’m the bride with the weak stomach.
The crew arrives, and the ladies get pretty.
Hairstylist B accidentally shares a little secret!
Bride and groom exchange cards and a surprise gift.
Tying bow ties is a comedy of errors.
Finally, I become a bride!
All the little details.
A special lady gets a special gift.
Here comes the sun, and the bride (AKA our first look).
We took some family photos.
We processed, and got married!

All photos by MichaelWill Photography unless otherwise noted. Images market with an (*) are edited by me, with permission from Michael.

BLOGGER

Mrs. Wizard

Location:
Pittsburgh
Wedding Date:
June 2012
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comments

  1. Member
    mstreasure 1655 posts, Bumble bee @ 12:23 pm

    hahaha That’s hilarious!

  2. Member
    Highness 82 posts, Worker bee @ 12:25 pm

    That’s hillarious and totes scary. I would have been making the same faces as you. So glad you have photographic evidence so he has to believe you.

  3. Member
    Shosha1 2140 posts, Buzzing bee @ 12:30 pm

    Ha ha! That’s too funny!

  4. Member
    futuremrscpt 955 posts, Busy bee @ 12:33 pm

    OMG LMAO I would have freaked out I’m sure. LOL I don’t like spiders…

  5. Member
    mstoadstool 2485 posts, Buzzing bee @ 12:41 pm

    Wahahaha, wait, does it mean the spider is married to you both too? Ok, no, it didn’t sign the license.

  6. Member
    Kings7911 911 posts, Busy bee @ 12:47 pm

    Hahaha this made me laugh. :) I’m happy the pictures turned out so great and the itsy bitsy spider didn’t mess up the ceremony!

  7. Member
    MissSpark 180 posts, Blushing bee @ 12:50 pm

    Bahahahahaha, that is hilarious! And I definitely read the last ceremony post and thought, “Oh…look at all that love, she can’t take her eyes off of him!”

    Love it!

  8. Member
    nightcheese 1827 posts, Buzzing bee @ 12:52 pm

    oh my god what a great story! you handled it well :)

  9. Member
    mnp 1704 posts, Bumble bee @ 12:52 pm

    OMG, I would’ve lost it seeing that spider! lol You are a brave lady!

  10. Member
    hyena 2537 posts, Sugar bee @ 12:54 pm

    LOL, good on you holding it together!

  11. Member
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 1:20 pm

    I totally would have slapped that thing off his face, you handled things much better :)

  12. Member
    faeriegirl05 173 posts, Blushing bee @ 1:47 pm

    so since spiders are one of my power animals i thought i would share this :)

    http://www.totemwisdom.com/spidertotem.html#.UJGOk4amCSo

    it seems very fitting actually ;-)

  13. Member
    krislynn_sd 72 posts, Worker bee @ 1:57 pm

    I wanna know how he didn’t even realize it was crawling all over his face? If it were on me, I probably would have been slapping myself trying to get that “odd-itchy-crawly” feeling from my face.

    I would have flipped out. Good job on keeping you cool!

  14. Member
    totheislnds 7804 posts, Bumble Beekeeper @ 2:00 pm

    OMG I’m laughing so hard! I don’t know what I would have done either. I HATE spiders! that is too funny wiz! what a great wedding story to have!

  15. Member
    kit_kath 1331 posts, Bumble bee @ 2:12 pm

    Oh wow…you handled that very well. I’m terrified of spiders, I would have had to stop the ceremony and make sure that critter was long gone before I could go in for the kiss.

  16. Member
    otter 1321 posts, Bumble bee @ 2:18 pm

    OMG. I would have had tears in my eyes, I’m too afraid to try to kill it, but I would be too panicked to let it just disappear, haha.

  17. Member
    brandybelle 869 posts, Busy bee @ 4:26 pm

    That is hilarious! and it made for a very beautiful first kiss photo! :)

  18. Member
    jesij1212 34 posts, Newbee @ 4:32 pm

    I had the same thing happen, but it was me, and it was two different spiders! One crawled up my dress and went into my pocket, (yep, I had pockets) and my MOH was too afraid to swat it. The other was crawling on my back. I’m super wimpy when it comes to spiders, but I felt a tickle and looked back over my shoulder, saw it and thought ‘huh. Oh we’ll, I’m busy’. Luckily my mother-in-law walked up and swiped it off my shoulder :) My mom told me after that she couldn’t believe I wasn’t hopping around screaming like I normally do :)

  19. Member
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 4:34 pm

    Wow. Good for you for not just slapping it right off of him! It’s so fun to know the little details like this!

  20. Member
    painauchocolat 2298 posts, Buzzing bee @ 5:50 pm

    Bahahaha, your reaction was too funny. Happy you were vindicated when the spider showed up in the zoomed-in photos.

  21. Member
    dmuszall 101 posts, Blushing bee @ 7:56 pm

    Hilarious!! Possibly the funniest blog ever lol!

  22. Member
    ChicagoDreamer 509 posts, Busy bee @ 8:50 pm

    I guess the spider wanted in on the wedding action too. You remained much more calm than I would’ve. I would be freaking out!

  23. Guest Icon Guest
    Jenn, Guest @ 5:00 am

    I would have freaked out! Good on you for staying calm… and having photographic evidence. ;)

    I am also amused that this post showed up in my google reader just above a post entitled “10 Great Spider Scenes in Movies.”

  24. Member
    coyote 1576 posts, Bumble bee @ 6:58 am

    Bahahahah oh my gosh!! Your ceremony posts were so beautiful and had me in tears, but this is too, too much! I probably would have whacked it off his face just out of instinct, this is hilarious!!

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