I’m So Honored

Miss Sword’s “Learn from my mistake” Wedding Tip: Do not use the term “personal attendants” when referring to other awesome friends that you want to include in your bridal party. People will think “personal attendant” is a synonym for “do whatever I say bitch” and you will be grossly misunderstood.

Instead call them “Honor Attendants” and all will be well with the world.

(Mom Sword even had a personal attendant in her wedding back in ’79, but I guess times have changed!)

For a refresher, my bridal party consists of MOH Big Eyes (my beloved and also engaged Sister), my BFF L Dawg (who’s so tight with my family that she’s even traveled with all us), Cousin Jo (whom I’ve watched grow up and turn into an amazing young woman), and Mr. Sword’s Wee Sis (aka my future-sister-in-law and therefore stuck with me for life-hehe). My bridal party is filled with those I call family. And it’s four people on purpose. I didn’t want a huge bridal party.

That said, I have some amazing friends and if I could recognize everyone I would, but it’s just not possible!

In the end, I felt strongly that two particular girlfriends (besties for life) needed to be a part of bridal party but not necessarily walk down the aisle, and that’s how I found myself with honor attendants.

Meet honor attendant H Bomb.


Meet honor attendant C Fri.


I met both of these ladies in college and in completely different places, H Bomb in church and C Fri on a bus my first week on campus, and ironically they both live in NYC now. Lucky for me, both of these girls are smartie farties and insanely reliable. So not only do they have to look good in pictures, but they will have a wee bit of responsibility as well.

I came up with fun words like “Regulator” and “Liaison” for them but really I’d just be happy if they handle my cell phone for the day, check in with the boys once in a while, and maybe help us keep the family corralled for some pre-ceremony portraits.

Raise your hand if you think I should get them these?


image via Amazon

Umm, YES PLEASE. If anything, I have to buy them just for the cute photo opps!

The question then becomes what do the honor attendants wear?

To jog your memory, or if you’re just tuning into the Sword saga, the bridesmaids will be in long, chiffon dresses.


Style is called Olivia, image via the Wedding Shoppe, Inc

Only they’ll be wearing the above dresses in the gorgeous purple color known as eggplant. Remember how I had to wait until the kilt arrived to make the final color decision? So picture the above length mixed with the below color (similar style is on the left). Unfortunately the website doesn’t off a “switch color” option for each dress.


Style is called Sydney, image via the Wedding Shoppe, Inc

My initial idea is to ask H Bomb and C Fri to wear chocolate brown because I love neutral tones and it’s conveniently one of our other wedding colors. I’m also thinking they should wear cocktail length dresses, but I’m curious to how that will they look next to the long dresses? Thoughts?

Here is my inspiration for the honor attendants dresses thus far:


image via Alfred Angelo


image via The Dessy Group

As of now I’ve told the girls to buy/order whatever dress they feel comfortable in and would be willing to wear again, but inspiration is hitting me as I write this”¦what if they wore the same Kennedy Blue style dress as the bridesmaids but in the short version and brown color? Sometimes having a bit of direction can make it easier to shop.

(photos personal unless otherwise noted)

Basically I need your help, hive! AGAIN. What are your suggestions? Does it matter that the dresses will be different lengths for the bridal party photos? While there’s tons of inspiration photos showing MISMATCHED bridesmaid dresses, there seems to be barely any inspiration of MIXED STYLE bridal parties. I think having bridesmaids and honor attendants in different dresses will make for some beautiful and unique shots!

What do you think of chocolate brown (often called espresso in the wedding world) and eggplant together? Are you having honor attendants or something similar? Did you make the mistake of calling someone your bitch, I mean personal attendant, like I did?!?!


Mrs. Sword

Wedding Date:
March 2013
That's the Spirit!
Gallery of the Day
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  1. Member
    Dela2012 133 posts, Blushing bee @ 8:37 am

    I’d say let them where what they want.

  2. Member
    scottishmrs 3213 posts, Sugar bee @ 8:37 am

    I really like the idea of them wearing the matching shorter style. I’m not a big fan of chocolate brown and I would personally never wear it again (if you’re going for re-wearability), would your honour attendants wear it? If it was my decision to make I’d go with either the forest green for them or a lighter shade of the purple as both are great complements.

  3. otter Member
    otter 1321 posts, Bumble bee @ 8:38 am

    I love love love mixed style – I think the long and short will look great together!

  4. Guest Icon Guest
    Keri, Guest @ 8:56 am

    I would say let them wear what they want…..if they aren’t standing up at the altar with you, requesting that they buy a specific dress might be a bit much. That said, I don’t know if you have more in mind for them with pictures, etc., and don’t know your relationship with them – if you think they’d be happy to get what you want them to wear, go for it.

  5. Member
    missgracekelly 34 posts, Newbee @ 9:02 am

    IMO, asking them to buy a very specific dress that is different from the BMs nails in the fact that they are not bridesmaids. To me, it seems a little strange, and I would have them wear whatever they want. I might give them color guidance, but given that they aren’t actually standing up in the wedding, I personally would feel strange making them order a specific dress.

  6. Member
    jpalm13 2964 posts, Sugar bee @ 9:04 am

    I’m with Dela and Keri. I would be irked to have to buy a $200 dress to do favors all day while the BMs get to enjoy themselves.

  7. Member
    josina 687 posts, Busy bee @ 9:15 am

    I had two girls as ‘personal attendants’ but love the title ‘honor attendants’ much more! My bridesmaids were also in long chiffon gowns, but in champagne, and I told the PA’s to just get short dresses that were close to the same color. They ended up both MAKING their dresses and followed the same pattern although the dresses were slightly different. Pic here: http://gallery.weddingbee.com/photo/bridal-party-photos.

  8. Guest Icon Guest
    Cookie, Guest @ 9:24 am

    I feel that chocolate brown next to the eggplant won’t really stand out. Meaning, in photos, it could be hard to tell the difference between the two and they won’t really accent each other. This could be a positive or negative depending on what you’re going for. I would suggest a color that added but didn’t take away from your bridesladies, like silver, white, black, green, etc. And definitely get the Cinderella walkies! Those are awesome.

  9. Member
    Almost Mrs.P 2056 posts, Buzzing bee @ 10:33 am

    I would have them go long, but in a different color… I’m not crazy about mixed length. I think the chocolate brown is nice but might seem really dark next to the eggplant. Isn’t one of your colors green? Would that work?

  10. Member
    Valdrine 264 posts, Helper bee @ 10:33 am

    I love the idea of honor attendants! I’m doing something similar because we wanted only our siblings as our official wedding party, but wanted to honor the other dear friends in our lives who are also helping out so much with the wedding (bachelor/bachelorette, showers, weekend set-up, etc.).

    However, I felt that since I wasn’t actually giving them the honor of being a formal member of the wedding party, I shouldn’t ask them to purchase special attire. We asked the male attendants just to wear dark slacks and a button-down, and the girls just to wear coordinating colored dresses in a color they can all mis-match together. They are of course welcome to purchase a new dress–who doesn’t love an excuse to go shopping?–but it removes the financial pressure.

    I’m struggling a bit with the logistics for my wedding, so maybe you can help me with some insights into your plan! Are your honor attendants going to process/recess and stand at the front, or sit in places of honor? Are you giving them bouquets/boutonnieres? Are you printing their names in the programs? Thanks, Miss Sword!

  11. Member
    Almost Mrs.P 2056 posts, Buzzing bee @ 10:34 am

    Hmm, just reading through other comments, and PPs have a good point about asking them to buy a dress when they’re not bridesmaids…. maybe they can just wear what they want? Or else just make them bridesmaids?

  12. mstoadstool Member
    mstoadstool 2485 posts, Buzzing bee @ 10:52 am

    I’d go with either same length/different color or same color different length, but I’m OCD so I need things to have a pattern.

  13. mspony Member
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 11:58 am

    I would probably just tell them to pick their own dress in the color you choose. But if they want to match, I’d go with the shorter version of your bm dresses, since they’ll be more likely to wear the shorter dress again.

  14. Guest Icon Guest
    MissLibra, Guest @ 1:42 pm

    I would let them wear what they want, but have them wear some purple accessories- like a purple hair flower, necklaces, pumps, etc. and tell them to pick a dress that compliments the purple colour nicely.

  15. msfox Member
    msfox 1635 posts, Bumble bee @ 1:48 pm

    I like the idea of having them pick a dress of their liking in a certain color – and I think the cocktail length would be fine!

  16. Member
    mzjynxie 783 posts, Busy bee @ 4:16 pm

    Hmmm, I don’t think they’ll go along too badly. And walkie-talkies, awesome.

  17. Member
    Indecisivebride2012 130 posts, Blushing bee @ 5:54 pm

    I’m with everyone else on the dress issue, think it is a little off to make them buy a new dress in your colour scheme. However I do like the idea of having them involved, so how about something like getting them corsages to wear?


  18. Member
    MissMaryPat 40 posts, Newbee @ 9:53 pm

    **raising hand in favor of walkies** Also, have you seen the Wedding Shoppe Inc Pinterest or follow them on FB? They have featured almost every Kennedy Blue dress in a “wear it again” blog. I think they are fabulous dresses, and the espresso and eggplant would be beautiful together!

  19. Member
    jacofblues 1468 posts, Bumble bee @ 10:51 pm

    Oh yes have those walkie talkies! They are too cute! i think eggplant and chocolate brown are a perfect combo! I would say that the differing lenghts will distinguish them as not really part of the wedding party but still apart of the wedding which is a good idea!

  20. sword Member
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 10:55 am

    Thanks everyone, I think this post will call for a follow-up sometime next week!

    @Valdrine: Great q’s! So for my Honor Attendants, they’ll be seated in one of the front rows, and definitely names in the program, no corsages because my flower bouquet wasn’t that big to begin with but I’ll probably gift them some jewelry like the bridesmaids!

    @MissMaryPat: No, I wasn’t aware of that, thanks for the info!

  21. Member
    blonde17jess 1290 posts, Bumble bee @ 11:45 am

    You just gave me a fabulous idea for some special friends to be my bitches, er, honor attendants :)

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