The Manifestation of Irrational Fears

I think I’ve mentioned our photographer in the past, Lisa Rigby. She takes the most gorgeous pictures ever, and was someone I came back to over and over again always when looking for photographers.


Source: Style Me Pretty / Image by Lisa Rigby Photography

When we were looking at photographers, there were very few photographers that I really loved most of their pictures. The hive also spoke very highly of her and I really had a great feeling when I talked to her on the phone. I haven’t actually gotten a chance to meet her in person, but if she’s anything like how she is on the phone, I’m sure we’ll get along fine. The decision to book her was not very difficult at all.


Source: Lisa Rigby Photography

So if this post isn’t to gush about how awesome my photographer is (though I should—she is awesome), what’s the deal?

I have to admit, I am absolutely terrified about the pictures that we are going to get. Terrified.

When I sat down and thought about it. It really wasn’t about the pictures at all. But rather, the fear of failure was manifesting itself as a fear of having picked the wrong photographer. Ultimately, I’m afraid that the whole wedding, with all of the details that I’ve carefully made and put together, is going to fall apart into one big hot mess. I’m scared that it won’t look magical or well put together. I’m afraid that I’m going to be running around like a chicken with no head, rather than enjoying the day, and I’m afraid that it’s going to show in all of the pictures.

And in a way, I guess this makes sense. I love Lisa’s pictures and I think she’s great at what she does. But it’s so easy to look at someone you don’t know’s pictures and see the beauty that’s there. It’s not as easy to see the wonder and beauty in your wedding, when you see the flaws.

That is my logical side, which tells me that this is happening because I have never spent this much money on anything before, and that it’s OK to be scared. My emotional side, on the other hand, is completely freaked out and is curling in a ball in the corner.

I’m scared about how much money we’re paying, I’m scared about the number of pictures we’re getting, I’m scared that I’m going to hate all of my wedding pictures, and I’m scared that we’re going to look awkward and dorky (because, let’s face it, we’re awkward and dorky).

Essentially, I’m scared that I’ve wasted the last two years of my life putting together an event that still sucked and looked awful, everything is going to fall apart, and I’m going to be left a very sad panda.


Because frankly, my posts haven’t had enough pictures of cute pandas. / Source: George Lu on Flickr

Did anyone else freak out over some admittedly irrational fear? Did you realize it was really about something else completely different when you sat down and thought about it? What do you do to make yourself feel better? How do you get over your irrational fears of failure?


Mrs. Panda

Boston, MA
Wedding Date:
June 2013
Uf Wiederluege...Goodbye.
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  1. msfox Member
    msfox 1635 posts, Bumble bee @ 1:25 pm

    Aw, hun! It’ll be ok! I personally think it’s 100% normal to have those kind of fears – up until the day of the wedding, I was afraid things weren’t going to get done, that it wouldn’t all come together, it would look terrible, etc and so forth. The biggest thing is that you have to trust in what YOU are doing, and at the end of the day? It’s your wedding day, and it will be beautiful, no matter what. Plus, for a photog as awesome as yours, it’s her job to make thing look good. I think that’s prob the last thing you’ll need to worry about!! ((hugs))

  2. Member
    fuzzle79 79 posts, Worker bee @ 1:50 pm

    My friend used Lisa Rigby as her wedding photographer and all her pictures came out amazing! You don’t have to worry about anything, her work is great. You’re the only one that will notice the little details that are not right. Everyone else will just see the beauty in your pictures like you see in everyone else’s.

  3. Member
    Miss Care Bear 193 posts, Blushing bee @ 1:53 pm

    This pretty much sums up my biggest wedding fear. I`m terrified that I`ll get the pictures back and think I look like a cow and/or be so disapointed and sad if they`re not what I was picturing :(

  4. mspony Member
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 2:01 pm

    I think this is a completely reasonable and common fear among brides, but the most beautiful pictures are the ones showing how happy and joyful the day was, not the tons of perfect details.

  5. Member
    PrincessConsuelaBananaHammock 369 posts, Helper bee @ 2:18 pm

    I’m pretty sure this is totally normal. I have definitely felt this way about a few aspects of our wedding. Just remember why you are getting married and BREATHE.
    Your wedding is going to be amazing and beautiful and, we will all bee ooh-ing and aah-ing over your fantastic pictures in your recaps.

  6. Member
    keraniluna 14 posts, Newbee @ 7:23 pm

    I definitely have the same fear……and the same exact thought process behind it. Of course other people’s pictures look wonderful – I don’t know them and can’t see all the little flaws like I can with myself! And my fiance and I are super awkward – even during our engagement shoot, I’m pretty sure the only time we look cute is when we’re kissing.

    But I guess when all is said and done, awkward or not, they’ll be pictures of your wedding, and they’ll remind you of all the emotion of the day. That fact alone will make them much more fun for you than all the other pretty pictures your photographer has done!

  7. Member
    jacofblues 1468 posts, Bumble bee @ 10:27 pm

    I am having the same freak out! I had attended to lose about 10 kilograms before the wedding but I failed miserably! I have definitely toned up and lost some weight but no where near as much as I would have liked! So I am also terrified that the photographer won’t know what angles are my best, or how to make me look skinnier rather than rounder in the photos! So I know exactly how you feel.

  8. panda Member
    Mrs. Panda 1359 posts, Bumble bee @ 5:56 am

    Thank you everyone =) You always know how to make me feel better!

  9. Member
    stephk527 987 posts, Busy bee @ 10:29 am

    My BFF feels similarly from time to time! Just recently, she told me that she feels like she’ll search forever for a DJ, fine one that is perfect and with her luck, he/she will experience some horrible accident on the way to her wedding! I think her fears stem from the same place: that this is such a large event, with such large money, and of course the pressure (although not from the ‘WIC’, I don’t believe in that, but from YOURSELF) to have this be The Best And Biggest Day Of All Time EVER plays into it. I totally think these feelings are normal and bound to happen, but I’m a firm believer of putting positive energy out into the world and getting it back tenfold. Allow yourself to have these freakouts and then on the tail end, say, “Alright, that’s enough. I’m over it. My wedding will be. . .” and then pick three adjectives. And envision what will make them those three. Mind over matter! And other encouraging, cheesy phrases. <3

  10. panda Member
    Mrs. Panda 1359 posts, Bumble bee @ 10:33 am

    @StephK527: aww, this is such a sweet comment. I agree and I’m going to try very hard to stick to it! thanks =)

  11. Member
    stephk527 987 posts, Busy bee @ 11:07 am

    @Miss Panda: I’m glad to help/encourage/cause smiley faces. :)

  12. graywolf Member
    graywolf 725 posts, Busy bee @ 7:03 am

    i agree with @StephK527!

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