Now Instead of Later

As I write this post, there are only 160 days until our wedding day. According to my calculator (because I really, really can’t do math), I have a little over five months left until the big day. When you factor in the upcoming holidays and birthdays, that number shrinks even further. In my rational mind, I realize that before I know it, our wedding day will be here.

But in the other part of my mind, the part that even I don’t really understand sometimes, I just want to be freaking married already.

Yes, I want to walk down the aisle at our beautiful venue with my dad, wearing my wedding dress, surrounded by friends and family, and say those vows that promise so much. I want to exchange rings, and be announced as Mr. and Mrs. HisLastName. I want the gorgeous photos and the even-better memories that just can’t be captured on film. But I would also be lying to the hive if I said there hadn’t been a few days I just wanted to toss my hands up and say let’s just go get married, already.

We’ve even discussed it. How could we make that work, both with vendors and with the family members that we have to have there? We’ve talked about different options, about how we could go about pushing the wedding up (or changing our vision for the wedding totally), but ultimately, we realized that most of this urgent desire to be married now, now, now comes down to my own impatience. We chose April for peonies (okay, Mr. O didn’t care about the flowers ;) ). We chose a spring month because I pass out when I get even the slightest bit hot. Essentially—all of our decisions were made for a reason. So why would we change all that just because I get impatient to be Mrs. Otter on occasion?

Well, we wouldn’t. Or, we aren’t, to be more accurate. But even as I’m planning the wedding, I’m researching homes. I’m looking at how to go about buying a home, what our credit needs to look like, and how to choose a school district. Oh, and the b-word. Yep, the Otters talk about babies. So while I’m planning for soon (the wedding), I’m also trying to plan for later. And while I love that we’re organized and have plans, I also want us to enjoy this time. While we’re just engaged and while it’s still just the two of us.

Planning bees (or married bees!), what helped you to slow down and focus more on the now, and less on the later?


Mrs. Otter

Indianapolis, IN
Wedding Date:
April 2013

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  1. Member
    RapunzelRapunzel 812 posts, Busy bee @ 3:12 pm

    Good for you! I can definitely relate to this post: sometimes I think, “Let’s just be married already!” But I know we picked our wedding date for a reason, and that I would never be able to get the planning done in time for an earlier date, and it’s a time that works for all our nearest and dearest too. Plus, just like you said, being engaged is an important time in our relationship–a time to plan, to dream, and to appreciate time that’s just the two of us. And I’m sure it’ll fly by for you and for us! :D

  2. Member
    MissSpark 180 posts, Blushing bee @ 4:54 pm

    I feel your pain, I think we’re date twins! 160 days seems like such a long time…We passed a little walk-in wedding chapel today and I said, “Come on, let’s just do it!” As much as I’m excited for the big white dress and the party with everyone we love, I’m so much more excited to be married to my best friend… It can’t come soon enough!

  3. Member
    Mrs. Otter 1321 posts, Bumble bee @ 5:16 pm

    @MissSpark: What’s your date!? PM me. :) I completely agree, though, it really CAN’T come soon enough!

    @RapunzelRapunzel: Can it fly by a tiny bit faster!? ;) But I’m glad I’m not the only one!

  4. Member
    Mrs. Dragon 2891 posts, Sugar bee @ 5:29 pm

    I have a really hard time with this, too. I have a tendency to wish away the present because I’m too eager for the future! Now that we have a date set for starting a family I am SO looking forward to it getting here that I literally have been coming up with something to look forward to every month from now ’till then so I don’t go crazy… meanwhile, realistically, I know it’s going to fly by fast.

    I will say that our engagement felt like it went so quickly, even though, a year out, I was dreading how long it’d take!

  5. Member
    missbee15 65 posts, Worker bee @ 5:35 pm

    Ahhhh, I’m feeling the same way right now! Again, excited for the dress, the festivities, the friends and family…but so so so much more excited to actually be married to my Mister. In some ways it seems that the past few months have flown by, but can’t June 15th just get here already!

    I’m also trying to focus on our time now before it all changes. It’s a little difficult since we’re 8 hours apart, but we talk and pray together each night.

  6. Member
    lealorali 4393 posts, Honey bee @ 6:08 pm

    Wait, do you really pass out?!!

  7. Member
    lealorali 4393 posts, Honey bee @ 6:10 pm

    And… appreciate this special, exciting time! (Though I do agree… sometimes I feel like I’m building it up waaay too much and I’m going to crash and burn the day after.)

  8. Member
    Mrs. Otter 1321 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:38 pm

    @lealorali: Unfortunately true! Even at home, if I get too hot and don’t realize it quickly enough, I’ll fully pass out. My worst time I managed to crack open my chin and break 3 teeth. :( Fun stuff, haha.

    @newbee615: I feel your pain, lady! I just want to be married to this wonderful man, so can it hurry up already!? Hopefully the holidays (and my birthday!) will take my mind off it.

    @Mrs. Dragon: I’m hoping the holidays will provide a great distraction – otherwise I may lose my mind between now and then! :)

  9. Member
    blonde17jess 1290 posts, Bumble bee @ 5:30 am

    I feel that way too, but we are just under two years out, since I wanted to wait until I finish grad school before we get married. It’s hard some days, but I’m glad we’re taking our time. Ultimately, we get this time to take our time planning and enjoy being together and then we can worry about the other stuff later. :)

  10. Member
    springwed8 259 posts, Helper bee @ 5:31 am

    I totally feel this too!! the way you wrote that post even sounded like me! i have 187 days to go, also thinking about buying a home (before the wedding!) and just constantly planning for the future and not enjoying the present…
    it’s hard, but I think everyone gets this excited and impatient..
    we just have to remember that we wont get this time back. I’m trying to just enjoy being engaged, and then when it’s done, i’ll enjoy being married :)

  11. Member
    steph01924 308 posts, Helper bee @ 10:46 am

    Oh, I totally understand. I have almost exactly a year left, six months gone. Due to some job issues, we’ve barely booked anything for the wedding except for the venue, and planning only made me grumpy after awhile (“You want HOW MUCH for freakin’ pictures??”). Now that’s it’s finally starting to change and I have to start planning again, I just keep thinking about how much we’ll be spending and the waiting and I wish we could just skip to the house/freedom to go fun places/do fun stuff without having to save up. I need to stop staring at the house/organizing blogs (to stop wishing) and conversely stop with the wedding blogs (to stop getting sick of it all) and just DO it.

  12. Member
    Mrs. Toadstool 2485 posts, Buzzing bee @ 12:32 pm

    For us it was an “I’ll do this, you’ll do that” system. He took care of the homebuying process and I’m in charge of wedding planning, yes I got to pick the house and have a say in everything about it, the same way he has when it comes to the wedding, but we’re focusing in our assignments.
    Just wait until the 100 day mark, time will past so fast you won’t even notice ;)

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