Saying “No” to a First Look

These days, it seems like everyone is doing a first look. Everybody wants to get a million photos, so they do the first look thing and then have all the photos done before the ceremony. I totally get it. I want to have a million photos, too. And I don’t want to spend hours between the ceremony and reception taking them. BUT, neither my fiance nor I want to do a first look. Why?

For one, we want the moment when I walk down the aisle to be extra special. I know, I know, everyone says it’s still super magical even if you have done a first look. Sorry. I don’t believe you. [Edit: This came out wrong. What I should have said is, “I don’t believe that would be true for me.”  I trust you all when you say that your own moments were quite magical.]

Second, I’m going to go out on a limb here and admit that I just don’t really like the photos that come out of those sessions. The girl taps the guy on the shoulder. He turns around, does the sort-of surprised face. They have an awkward hug (has another actually hugged their significant other like that before? Why do they always look so weird?). And then they kiss and the rest of the photo shoot commences. (I am purposefully not posting any pictures here, because that would just be rude. There will be no dissing of any specific wedding photos.)

Really, reason numbers one and two should probably be enough for anyone to understand why we’re not doing a first look. But in the spirit of full disclosure, I have to tell you about the third reason. I know I’m going to be nervous on my wedding day. I know Mr. Whale will also be nervous. And when I get nervous, I start talking about all kinds of random things, especially the things that I’m worried about.

http://www.weddingbee.com/

Except I’m not all cute like she is. (Image from Never a Dull Moment with Missy)

And when he gets nervous, he doesn’t know how to handle my nervousness. I might end up telling him about how I’m not entirely sure how our food is going to taste, because I once read a review that said it wasn’t good. And then he’ll say, “Why didn’t you tell me that?? Now our reception will be ruined!” Or I might say, “Do you like my dress? I almost bought this other one, but then I really liked this one. But I wonder if you would have like the other one.” And then he’d say, “That other dress sounds amazing. Why didn’t you buy it? You should have bought it!”

Seriously. Those responses are not an over-exaggeration. When he gets nervous, he plummets head-first off the slippery slope into a sea of impending doom if anything seems like it might go wrong.

So that is how I envision our first look going, which really doesn’t sound like the perfect romantic encounter, does it? No, I didn’t think so either.

Somehow, I almost got convinced early on in planning that I might want to do a first look when I thought about how we could take soooo many pictures before the ceremony. But Mr. Whale got me back on track when he said there was no way he was going to see me before the ceremony. That basically settled it.

The strangest part about not doing the first look is feeling like we’re bucking the trend. I thought that not having a first look was supposed to be more traditional, but these days, people think you’re crazy if you don’t do one.

Any other brides breaking this new tradition by staying traditional and not having a first look? Why did you decide one way or the other?

BLOGGER

Mrs. Blue Whale

Location:
College Park, MD
Wedding Date:
May 2013
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comments

  1. Member
    sarahbeth_ 140 posts, Blushing bee @ 2:13 pm

    haha! i love this post. we arent doing a first look either because we think it will be much more exciting when i’m walking down the isle. i love how honest you are — it can’t be as exciting if you see each other first. it just cant be. case closed.

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