My Fashionista Groom

There are so many things you discover about yourself and your significant other when you’re planning a wedding. Like, it turns out Mr. Whale is a bit of a fashionista (fashionisto?).

At some point early on in wedding planning, I showed him a picture that I really liked (I want some gigantic swirly lollipops).

carnival wedding

Image from Green Wedding Shoes Image by Jamie Hammond

Mr. Whale just loved what the groom is wearing. I thought, “Sure, that guy looks pretty dapper. And I love his tie. My groom is going to look great.” Fast forward to now. We recently discussed what he was going to wear. And he told me he wants a white suit.

Yes, you read that right. White”¦.

Apparently, he remembered the groom wearing a white suite in that picture. I tried to tell him it’s more of a very pale tan, but he insists (even after looking at the picture again) that he wants to wear white. While I love my fiance fiercely, all I can picture are those weird guys in high school who show up to prom in white tuxes and think they’re sooooo cool.

Image from Derek Grasman

I know, he’s not going to look like an eleventh grade kid trying to be cool. But my biggest fear is: what if his suit doesn’t match my dress? He doesn’t know anything about my dress, and I don’t want to give anything away! I guess I could try an request a swatch of fabric and then we could match the suit to my dress. But we don’t have that much money to spend on his suit”¦

I’m mostly hoping he’ll decide he’d rather just buy a gray or black suit so that he can wear it again some day”¦But maybe I should be a good fiancee and let him wear what he wants? Any other brides out there with grooms that who white?


Mrs. Blue Whale

College Park, MD
Wedding Date:
May 2013
Sunrise, Sunset

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  1. Guest Icon Guest
    denk, Guest @ 12:25 pm

    yikes! someone on my facebook had a groom who wore a white suit… while she wore a sort of cream/ivory gown. it looked bad! beware!

  2. Member
    futuremrsbrunell 185 posts, Blushing bee @ 12:28 pm

    omg.. please stop him now! this is bad.. so so bad. My husband wanted to wear light gray becuase he loved his prom tux (his prom picture is just as epic as the one you posted). His mother and I got him into a Navy suit looking dapper by telling him it really made his eyes pop and how handsome he was. Flattery.. USE IT LIKE A SWORD.

  3. Member
    mz2handgrip 119 posts, Blushing bee @ 12:33 pm

    Don’t do it Mr. Whale…just say no!!! j/k. I think its a good idea as you mentioned to provide him with a swatch!

  4. Member
    mrsm915 127 posts, Blushing bee @ 12:39 pm

    I have to agree with the others who said no way to the white suit/tux! I have never seen anyone actually look good in one. I would go with him to try on a few suits and have him see for himself what all the different possibilities are color-wise. I bet he will change his mind after trying on a few different options. Good Luck :)

  5. Member
    wubewe 143 posts, Blushing bee @ 12:43 pm

    Have you shown him pictures of white suit weddings? I would collect a bunch to show to him so he knows what he’s really saying he wants. Then as a sneaky back-up, I’d have pictures more along the lines of the one he liked above, which is a light tan with a shirt to match your dress. Once he can really see what his options are, he might see the light.

  6. Member
    Mrs.Zapien 74 posts, Worker bee @ 12:44 pm

    Eeeek! I am in the SAME boat!

    My fiance has his heart set on wearing a white tux. I am frankly terrified …but after all it is his wedding, too.

  7. Member
    scottishmrs 3213 posts, Sugar bee @ 1:06 pm

    My uncle wanted to wear a white suit. His finace convinced him to wear black pants and an ivory jacket that was the same shade as her dress. He looked great. Don’t worry. You should definitely request that swatch of fabric though to match up.

  8. Member
    radishtime 316 posts, Helper bee @ 1:09 pm

    Oh my god! Poor Miss Whale!

    FI and my first date was prom and he wore a white tux (with a black shirt). I didnt know he was going to and when I saw him in it I honestly reconsidered dating him for a moment lol

    I mean, it is his wedding too but maybe suggest he spend some time on google images and try and find pics of white suits he likes?

    he’ll either
    A. realize a white suit is not the best idea
    B. find a suit that looks good, and then you can try and find a decidedly non prom-tux-y white suit

  9. Member
    loveandbasketball 34 posts, Newbee @ 1:14 pm

    I agree, a white suite is a little old fashioned, but if he REALLY wants to wear it, then you might have to compromise. Its both of your day. One option could be a light gray, tan or black tux with an all white t-shirt, vest and tie. I know when we went tux shopping, they asked what color my dress is: white, ivory, etc. You definetly want to make sure he is in the right shade to match your dress so you dont clash. Saying in front of him what shade your dress is will not give away anything about your dress. Guys dont know the different shades of white like we do! :)

  10. Guest Icon Guest
    S, Guest @ 1:22 pm

    I think you have to let him do it. How would you feel if he dictated your dress?

  11. msdragon Member
    Mrs. Dragon 814 posts, Busy bee @ 1:40 pm

    I would explain the swatch thing to him (Mr. D got to see a swatch of my dress to make sure his yellow shirt wouldn’t look dirty or weird next to my dress) but if he really wants it… he really wants it.

  12. Member
    scottishmrs 3213 posts, Sugar bee @ 1:45 pm

    I can’t figure out how to show you these pics of my uncle at his wedding through weddingbee. I really feel that you don’t need to worry and these pics will make you feel better, so I posted them on my blog and this is the link to the post so you can see them:

  13. Member
    BeeEuphoric 113 posts, Blushing bee @ 2:00 pm

    Show him these replies!! My friend just got married and wore the BEAUTIFUL Belle dress from Alfred Angelo. Her groom wore a bright white tux… she looked like a glowing bride while he looked like he was wearing a COSTUME (and he didn’t get a haircut either!). Not to mention that stark white is very harsh in photographs. Spin it to him that way! Gray, beige or black photograph better than white, and tell him only the bride is supposed to wear white anyway. lol Good luck!

  14. mstoadstool Member
    mstoadstool 2485 posts, Buzzing bee @ 2:02 pm

    Nothing better than a man who knows what he wants. Maybe once he tries some suits on he would rather go with a beige, light tanned suit.

  15. Guest Icon Guest
    Jesij1212, Guest @ 3:06 pm

    We did a taupe and white seer-sucker that was amazing! Maybe show him different kinds of material and then explain that white is *your* color for the day!

  16. Member
    bebefly 1753 posts, Buzzing bee @ 4:45 pm

    sigh. he doesn’t get to dictate what you wear, why are you doing it to him?

    but still. white suit. gross.

  17. mswallaby Member
    mswallaby 2070 posts, Buzzing bee @ 5:43 pm

    I agree with Dragon – show hima swatch of your dress, and if he STILL wants to wear the white suit, let him… It’s his day too. But make sure you take advantage of the bright colors and def get a photo opp with some oversize lollipops – too cute!

  18. mspony Member
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 5:44 pm

    I am really not a fan of white suits, but one of my friends’ husbands did it and it didn’t look that bad (although he has a dark skin tone, so it looked nice). I don’t think you should dictate what he wears, but maybe you could have him try on a few and show him how much better another color will look.

  19. Member
    BabyBlueEyes 235 posts, Helper bee @ 6:43 pm

    My FH requested ivory tuxes, not just for him but for all the guys. I agree with the people who said that he doesn’t have input on what your dress looks like, so why would you choose his attire? The wedding is for both of you! Yes, white might look a little weird. But if your dress is white, I don’t think it will look THAT weird. If your dress is ivory, like mine is, then why not suggest ivory suits? I do think you might should show him some examples, but don’t say “I like this better” or “This looks terrible.” Just show him. Worst case scenario, your groom looks a little weird, but that reflects his personality and his input on the wedding. And aren’t his weirdnesses and personality quirks what made you fall in love with him?

    Just as a side note, we took our formal bridal pictures already, and the ivory tux looked amazing. In fact, I can’t imagine him in a black tux or any other color for that matter. For us, I think anything but ivory would have looked weird. It fits FH, and it fits our wedding!

  20. Member
    mskoloa 75 posts, Worker bee @ 6:59 pm

    !!! White suits are actually really popular here in Hawaii. All the boys wear them to prom, and a lot of grooms wear them as well. I think one reason is because a lot of our grooms wear maile lei during the wedding and the white suit sets it off nicely. Then again, a lot of people here get married in nice slacks and a Tommy Bahama so maybe we’re just different.

  21. Guest Icon Guest
    Happy Marriage, Guest @ 3:58 am

    I like white suits for my marriage, I always love white suit, this is the best color for ever. I feel better in white.

  22. mink Member
    mink 2178 posts, Buzzing bee @ 5:25 am

    Have you seen tuxes with a white dinner jacket? We called them summer tuxes when we were little. My brothers had to wear them for their high school graduations. They aren’t super formal, but them look nice.

    A groom I know actually wore a traditional tux for the ceremony and switch to a dinner jacket at the reception. :)

  23. Guest Icon Guest
    cy-girl, Guest @ 5:29 am

    If your wedding is after 6:00, a white dinner jacket with black pants might be a good compromise. It’s a classic look.

  24. Guest Icon Guest
    sheon, Guest @ 2:31 pm

    No. There’s no way my husband would have worn a white tux. It was our day and we both needed to be happy with the way we looked. I’ve seen other grooms in white tuxes and it definitely was not for us. Too 1970s/80s for me. Especially having all the guys in white tuxes? When usually it’s just the bride? That’s open-mindedness. Each couple has to decide for themselves what’s acceptable and there was no way possible I was looking back at our wedding pictures seeing my groom looking like he was straight out of the 1970s.

  25. bluewhale Member
    bluewhale 638 posts, Busy bee @ 3:01 pm

    Thanks for all the suggestions! I really do want to let him wear what he wants. But I’m terrified it will clash or just look awful. The funny thing is… he’s the type of guy who wears black or grey basically all the time, so I don’t know what has possessed him to want to wear white all of a sudden.

    I guess I’m just not going to think about it until it’s time to actually shop for suits. I’ll be sure to snap a picture of him in a white one and see what the hive thinks! :)

    @futuremrsbrunell: This comment made me laugh so hard. But so true. I shall remember to pour on the flattery when I see something that looks good :)

  26. Member
    Ja2013 5 posts, Newbee @ 12:52 pm

    I hate white suits on grooms. BUT there is an exception…that’s when the groom wears a white suit with say a solid coloured shirt like black or blue or even fuschia. If the wedding is more on the casual side, think about a white linen suit with a blue (like a denim blue) shirt and no tie. That looks so good on men. Sort of a preppy chic brooks bro’s look

  27. bluewhale Member
    bluewhale 638 posts, Busy bee @ 8:44 am

    @Ja2013: I hadn’t thought about that… I’ll run it by him. I bet he’d like that idea. Thanks!

  28. Guest Icon Guest
    Ms Kit, Guest @ 5:07 am

    I’ve seen plenty of fully white suits for beach weddings in photos, and at Jewish weddings in person. It looks very nice, when done right. I still agree that an ivory or beige would look much better.

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