I’ve decided there’s no better time to post a picture of myself eating a penis cookie than during Thanksgiving week when most of you are out spending time with your families, cooking, traveling, and overall just enjoying the holiday. Win win.
I am one classy broad
Yep, those chocolate sprinkles definitely represent what you think they represent. MOH Big Eyes left no stone un-turned. She also made rice crispy penis treats too, but they were a bit too hard. That’s what no woman said, ever. (Wow, I’m on fire.)
Hive, please excuse my crass and photo-heavy post. I’m in quite the bad mood and need a break from life.
Mr. Sword just arrived back from his Stag Do in Scotland on Monday night (updates on that to follow next week!), only to find out he has to fly BACK to the UK this coming weekend. He’s needed in England for a few workshops, and I’m stuck here moaning about it. I take that back, I’m actually attempting to be the strong one, but my definition of being the “strong one” is taking a break from whining every ten minutes or so. WOE IS ME!!!
Poor Mr. Sword has to switch back to their six hour ahead time zone and travel all night on a plane before being expected to be awake and alert for a new job on Monday morning. Then after the week of workshops in England, his team starts their real work in Kansas City which means we begin our semi LDR relationship. You’ll remember I’ve already complained about that here.
Before I leave you with all the photos, let me say a few things: I searched EVERYWHERE for the perfect little white dress, and found one at Charlotte Russe for 15 dollars exactly one week before the big day. It was very Mr. Sword approved and very under budget!
The pictures may lead you to believe otherwise, but I only had about three drinks all night. I swear.
Dancing the night away as a hen/bachelorette was pretty amazing! I loved telling everyone, “I’m getting married!” and blowing my penis whistle.
Below are my memories. Enjoy.
Wedding Trivia Pictionary
food and spectators
Stuffing my dress with the best favors EVER
Ready to go out and looking a bit nakey
riding the CTA in style
my stunning sister
H Bomb is the best dancer in the world
busting moves, like I do
We tried to get photos with the guys that congratulated me…most of them thought it was my birthday. Weird
I love this set of sisters!
the bouncer let me hold his bad-ass flashlight
end of the night shenanigans
the party didn’t stop when we got home
welp, this is what I looked like the next morning
Now that I’ve plastered obscene and embarrassing photos of myself online, I’m gonna go punch myself in the face and pray I never need another job interview, EVER. Just kidding, I promised I’d share everything on the blog, and I couldn’t leave this stuff out. Hope you had a few laughs! I know I did.
OH, and Happy Turkey Day Friends!