I’ve decided there’s no better time to post a picture of myself eating a penis cookie than during Thanksgiving week when most of you are out spending time with your families, cooking, traveling, and overall just enjoying the holiday. Win win.
I am one classy broad
Yep, those chocolate sprinkles definitely represent what you think they represent. MOH Big Eyes left no stone un-turned. She also made rice crispy penis treats too, but they were a bit too hard. That’s what no woman said, ever. (Wow, I’m on fire.)
Hive, please excuse my crass and photo-heavy post. I’m in quite the bad mood and need a break from life.
Mr. Sword just arrived back from his Stag Do in Scotland on Monday night (updates on that to follow next week!), only to find out he has to fly BACK to the UK this coming weekend. He’s needed in England for a few workshops, and I’m stuck here moaning about it. I take that back, I’m actually attempting to be the strong one, but my definition of being the “strong one” is taking a break from whining every ten minutes or so. WOE IS ME!!! 
Poor Mr. Sword has to switch back to their six hour ahead time zone and travel all night on a plane before being expected to be awake and alert for a new job on Monday morning. Then after the week of workshops in England, his team starts their real work in Kansas City which means we begin our semi LDR relationship. You’ll remember I’ve already complained about that here.
Before I leave you with all the photos, let me say a few things: I searched EVERYWHERE for the perfect little white dress, and found one at Charlotte Russe for 15 dollars exactly one week before the big day. It was very Mr. Sword approved and very under budget!
The pictures may lead you to believe otherwise, but I only had about three drinks all night. I swear.
Dancing the night away as a hen/bachelorette was pretty amazing! I loved telling everyone, “I’m getting married!” and blowing my penis whistle.
Below are my memories. Enjoy.
Wedding Trivia Pictionary
food and spectators
Stuffing my dress with the best favors EVER
Ready to go out and looking a bit nakey
riding the CTA in style
my stunning sister
umm yea…
H Bomb is the best dancer in the world
busting moves, like I do
We tried to get photos with the guys that congratulated me…most of them thought it was my birthday. Weird
pretty ladies
I love this set of sisters!
the bouncer let me hold his bad-ass flashlight
end of the night shenanigans
the party didn’t stop when we got home
welp, this is what I looked like the next morning
Now that I’ve plastered obscene and embarrassing photos of myself online, I’m gonna go punch myself in the face and pray I never need another job interview, EVER. Just kidding, I promised I’d share everything on the blog, and I couldn’t leave this stuff out. Hope you had a few laughs! I know I did.
OH, and Happy Turkey Day Friends!
LOL this is amazing. It’s like everything I want my bachelorette to be and then some. I also love that you make absurd faces (that in your head probably look way more “sexy” than they do in the picture), which is precisely what I do and then am always disappointed when I see how those “sexy” pictures came out.
Happy Thanksgiving! 
“We tried to get photos with the guys that congratulated me…most of them thought it was my birthday. Weird”
Swear to god, I was told “Happy Birthday!” by a ridiculous amount of people during my bachlorette. Especially from girls… “See this rock? That’s the reason I’m clad in penis attire…”
It looks like you had an amazing time! The whole post I was singing “The Party Don’t Stop Til I walk In”.
I can’t get over that cookie, I won’t be able to look at chocolate sprinkles the same.
Looks like an awesome time!!
Sorry about the hus’ travel – mine had to put up with me flying back and forth to/from the UK every other week earlier this year and it *sucks* for all parties involved.
This is phenomenal. I’m so happy for you and your girls did such a stellar job. Although I will not be able to say ‘I only had three drinks’, I do think that mine will end up being similar – full of hilarious pictures and just a ball of fun memories.
bless you heart for this post. that is all.
@Miss Toadstool best comment ever
This is awesome. Looks like quite the celebration!
Awesome and hilarious post! You and your bridesmaids and friends look like a fun group!
Looks like you had a wonderful time!!
Your dress is amazing!!
I had SO many guys and gals tell me Happy Birthday too and I was wearing a tiara that said “Bride to Be” and an veil attached to it and a sash that said “Bachelorette”
@Blonde17Jess: You must be my twin! I couldn’t even post all the pics because my sexy face is never as sexy as I see it in my head! haha
Seriously, glad I wasn’t the only one that got told “happy birthday,” what is with that?!?!
I was told over and over again “happy birthday,” by guys at ny bachelorette. Although the girls we meet in general seemed to realizd I was getting married.
Mrs. Sword, Chicago Age and Occupation: 28, Nanny/Actress Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Software Engineer Engagement Date: February 19, 2012 Wedding Date: March 2013 Venue: Embassy Suites Bloomington West in Bloomington, MN About Me: I am a true girly-girl originally from the great state of Minnesota and my fiancé hails from the beautiful country of Scotland. We met and fell in love in our favorite city, Chicago, and are having a blast blending our cultures for "A Highland Fairy Tale" wedding! We are truly a case of opposites attract in that he’s a world traveling introvert and I’m a social butterfly who is never too far from home. We both love hanging out with family and friends, fine dining, and laughing at ourselves. He drinks a lot of beer and I talk too much. We wouldn’t have it any other way!
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