(…or guy friend, but I just had to give Robyn a shout out!)
This might go without saying, but being engaged has been a really romantic time for Wolfman and me. While sometimes we can lose the forest for the logistical planning trees, for the most part we’ve been able to enjoy the time and really start to look ahead to our future.
But, another relationship that has been strengthened is that between my friends and I. Not just in practical ways—helping out with some DIY, letting me borrow materials—but in the “OMG we are becoming real adults together” way.
Pals after the DC Color Run!
I don’t know about you all, but it’s really been during this wedding planning process that I’m realizing that my friendships are maturing into the makings of lifelong relationships. You grow up talking about getting married, having kids, buying homes—it’s been so exciting to actually see these things come to fruition and realize that these friends you’ve made along the way are here for it all.
At BM G’s bridal shower.
I recently re-read this article from Rumpus about the power of female friendships (which is amazing, BTW), and the gist is that the relationships we have with our friends can be just as emotionally powerful as those we share with our spouses. I wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment. I have often thought that my relationship with Wolfman is actually enhanced by the close relationships I have with my friends—and I think the relationship I have with my friends contributes to my closeness with Wolfman. You so often hear horror stories about wedding planning bringing out the worst in people (watch any episode of Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids!), but I’ve really had the complete opposite experience and for that I’m incredibly grateful.
MOH K’s bachelorette party.
I’m curious to see if this is a common feeling. How did planning a wedding change—or not change—your friendships? What role do your friendships play in your relationship with your significant others—or do they not? What do you think of the Rumpus article?
All photos personal.
I totally felt this way too. Thanks for writing about this. And I love the shout-out to Robyn!!!
This is a great post, GW. I’d say wedding planning brought me closer to my sister, who was my maid of honor. We’re 6 years apart and had never been that close growing up, so this was probably the first thing as adults we could bond over. My friends were amazing on the wedding day. They came and got ready with me in the morning and took care of me when I was freaking out.
I’ve always been a girl’s girl, and I really value my friendships with my girlfriends, and I found that planning my wedding really brought me closer to my best friend. It also brought Mr. G closer to her and her girlfriend. They are our best couple friends. And I wasn’t sure that would ever happen. I also got closer to Mr. G’s friends and brothers, because they’ve always been around, but I think that they saw I was here to stay. It’s a big love fest over here in the Genie camp!
First: thank you so much for sharing that article. I am touched and stunned.
Second: “realize how much people diminish and poo-poo the real power and strength of female friendship, especially between women” – THIS. I absolutely agree. So often, the depiction and overall view of female friendship is absolutely poo-pooed and belittled. Oh, it’s catty; oh, it’s vapid; oh, it’s two-faced. So often, REAL, true female friendship is forgotten or generally viewed as nonexistent.
Third: I am not in contact with my immediate family (mother, father, sister) and haven’t been for years and years. As a result, my friends (including my FI, who I really do feel is my best friend, but it’s on a different level) have been my family. Everyone currently in my close circle has been around for an extended period of time; some of them witnessed the ‘fall’ of my family (the ‘before’), some of them came into my life in college when I was able to come into my own and shake the shadow. Regardless, these girls are the best people I know. They are not flawless, and neither am I, but they are amazing and have been there for me countless times in countless ways. I absolutely agree that our wedding is bringing us together in the ‘grown up’ way and serving as a transition between stages of our lives. It’s also bringing out the best, for the most part, in all of us. A giant love fest for sure, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I live in the Netherlands and I saw a picture of the Color run. I think it is fun to run the Color Run.
May be I come to the States next year and then I want to do this run.
In the meantime I’ll try to get some information from participants of this run.
I have just started to run and I don’t want to ruin my almost new shorts.
That’s why I want to know if your shorts are ruined after the run and you have throw them away ? Or is cleaning easily?
I think if not for girl friends, my fiance would lose his mind during this whole process, because I have to have an outlet for all of my girly obsessions!
Other than that, being engaged has really strengthened and elevated our relationship. We were together for over 3 years (and lived together almost as long) prior to getting engaged, so we were already pretty secure in our relationship, but getting engaged made it feel even more secure. It’s just really solidified that we’re in it for the long haul, and takes a lot of stress off of the relationship, knowing that the other person will be there no matter what, forever. It’s really been fabulous, and I can only imagine that being married feels even better than this, so I’m looking forward to it!
@Alex: it was so much fun! everything came off of my clothes pretty easily. the white shirt still has some color in it but my pants and shoes were fine after one wash!
This is such a great article, and I love that wedding planning has brought you and your friends even closer!
Mrs. Gray Wolf, Washington DC Age and Occupation: 26, Business Development Executive Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Research Scientist Engagement Date: November 11, 2011 Wedding Date: February 2013 Venue: Whittemore House About Me: I'm an ultra-organized, pun-loving, list-making, cheese-enthusiast bride-to-be. Although my day job is in cubicle land, I'm happiest in the modern art wing of a museum, having recently earned my Masters in Museum Studies. Shortly after a chance meeting five years ago, I moved in with Wolfman and haven't looked back since. We love music, movies, TV, and all things pop culture; we have an unspoken competition to be the first to share the latest YouTube sensation or indie song. Together, we've filled quite a few pages in our passports, but also love quiet nights in with a Game of Thrones marathon and our French Bulldog, Tonks (Harry Potter, anyone?). I'm planning a small, cozy winter wedding---think mercury glass and candle light---in the heart of DC. Our venue is a historic home with a lot of political charm, but needs a bit of work to be wedding-ready.
Latest Gallery Pics