Will We or Won’t We?

No, this post is not about wedding night sex!

This post is about the honeymoon!

Now when I first told people I was getting married during nursing school, I got a mixed bag of reactions: Mostly polite congratulations, some crazy looks, and just a little flat-out-rude discouragement. I think I’m getting a slight idea about why.

My particular nursing program is a 15 month “fast-track” program, which means we pretty much go continuously for three month sessions with one week break in between. Guess which week DOESN’T fall on a break! Of course, the week after our wedding! Since it’s a fairly newish program not particularly known for its communication skills, my desperate pleas for information about this summer’s schedule have been met with a whole bunch of “we’re not really sure yet.” The good news is, this program is online with one to two full days of clinicals (school time spent with real patients) a week. They THINK clinicals that semester “might be on Tuesdays, but don’t count on it” and there are rumors that we have a test every week. Joking, (or am I?) I may need some serious Xanax that week.

Deep breath!

Because of this, we’ve decided that IF a honeymoon is gonna go down, it’s going to be a mini-moon!

Here are some worst-case scenarios:

1. In the case that clinicals are ACTUALLY on Tuesdays, either head straight from the hospital to the airport (worst, worst case) or fly out bright and early Wednesday morning (slightly better). Study on the plane there/back for a hopefully non-existant test that next Monday. Damn.

2. Throw caution to the wind and re-schedule/skip clinical. Live in a bubble for the rest of the semester to prevent getting sick ever/having to miss another one.

3. Fake death. Go on mini-moon and never come back.

4. World ends on December 21st, situation becomes null and void.

Best case scenarios (unlikely)

1. No clinical that week. No test either. Best week of my life.

2. The nursing department decides that a mini-moon is a completely acceptable reason to miss three to four days of material and I get off scott-free.

Also, since we’ll have spent pretty much every dime we’ve ever earned on our wedding, we’re largely relying on Mr. Manatee’s Fancy New Job sign-on bonus (which we may not even get in time) and hope that our guests continue to react positively to our Honeyfund.

And yes, we’re doing a Honeyfund.

All these things/stressful roadblocks beg the question…Do we really need to have a honeymoon right away? Besides, we’ve already been—wait for it—cohabitating/living together/LIVING IN SIN (nobody faint!) for over a year now. If honeymoons are traditionally for exploration, that ship has sailed.

The only saving grace to this situation is that the mini-moon in question is firmly in Mr. Manatee’s territory, and once we get the go-ahead on any of the above-mentioned scenarios, he’s going to be planning it.

In summary:

Like many bees before me, I’m left biting my fanga-nails to the quick and trying to convince myself that its totally okay that we may not have a honeymoon/minimoon…yet.

BLOGGER

Miss Manatee

Location:
Fort Worth, TX
Wedding Date:
June 2013
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  1. Member
    debeachgirl 742 posts, Busy bee @ 5:37 am

    FI is a teacher and a summer wedding wasn’t possible for us. My family owns a seasonal resort business where all employees are family. Would would literally have to shut down the store. Add to that that in the summer FI is a bartender for extra money and it gets even harder. Plus getting married in the summer in a resort town, just didn’t sound fun logistically.

    Therefore, we will not be taking a honeymoon right after our wedding. I am okay with this. I don’t even think we are doing a mini-moon (money). So we will take 2 days off (me) 1 day off (him – Monday is a holiday) and just spend them at home. We will then take a honeymoon in early June once school is finished and before the summer season gets into full swing. As long as I get a honeymoon at some point. I am okay.

  2. Guest Icon Guest
    Mrs B., Guest @ 5:38 am

    We waited to take our honeymoon because, like you, we had already been living together for a year. It worked out great! We were able to decompress from the fun of the wedding weekend and schedule a honeymoon when it worked well for us work wise. It was so nice because we did not have to stress on our honeymoon at all. I would say wait until you have a week off of school. If the whole time you are stressed about a test that you might have it’s not going to be a very fun mini-moon. You’re already causing yourself a lot of stress worrying about all the “what if” scenarios. Just enjoy the planning and take the honeymoon at a more convenient time.

  3. Member
    mswallaby 2063 posts, Buzzing bee @ 5:49 am

    Aw I hope you get to go on a honeymoon, even if it’s delayed!!

  4. Member
    SoonToBeMrsDonnieW 202 posts, Helper bee @ 6:00 am

    We are kind of in the same boat! I am in a fairly new fast track graduate program, that runs year long with two week breaks in between. But the real kicker? FI job only allows for one certain week in the summer for vacation-company shut down. And being fairly new, he doesn’t have a weeks worth of vacation days yet. AND his company shut down? Finals week for me. So I totally get where you are coming from.

    MY solution was to beg and plead my case to the head of the department. Who luckily was sympathetic and told me to tell my professor (whenever they decide who it will be…) and explain the situation. He said I should be able to take my finals early. But if not, I guess we are waiting a year to go on our honeymoon :(

    So I guess my advice is talk to your professor/head of department and see if they have any sympathy. If not, suck it up, get yourself your nursing degree, and take a wonderful honeymoon after graduation. That relaxation will mean so much more when you aren’t studying for a test and worrying about missing clinicals!

  5. Guest Icon Guest
    TheDistrictBee, Guest @ 6:24 am

    Oh honey! I’m in the 16 month BSN program at Georgetown University. It’s a particular kind of crazy I’m not sure people can really fully understand! I have a huge amount of respect for you for juggling both!

    1) can you make up your Tuesday clinical by getting permission to attend with a different clinical group another day that week? I know our cohort has 3 different days for med-surg, and sometimes they can let people switch. If you had a Monday that would be ideal! I know that if we go on record with our faculty at the beginning of the semester about major conflicts, they usually can come up with a solution.

    2) Screw the test that will be on Monday. You can’t knock them all out of the park and stay sane in this kind of program, not with 3+ major tests a week sometimes, (on top of care plans, projects, capstone research, reading…). See if you can get a buddy to give you their study outline (swap doing one by yourself for another test) and cram from the outline.

    3) Wrap the honeymoon into an amazing trip when you finish! You’ll be too worried/guilty about skipping schoolwork too enjoy it anyway

    4) call in as many favors as you have with family, friends, etc.

    I know a lot of women get married during the course of our program– maybe as much as 5-10% of any given cohort. We even has a student get pregnant and deliver right before the NCLEX! I’ve found that the school and faculty are really sympathetic to the fact that we are grown ups with serious life commitments, and that sometimes those commitments get in the way. As long as it doesn’t seem to keeping you from being able to do your coursework, they try and help.

    just finished an exam for lab skills, procrastinating some cramming before my lifespan theory exam at 12:30….guess I gotta get back to it :)

  6. Member
    stace0701 42 posts, Newbee @ 7:07 am

    It’s totally ok. Don’t panic. My FI and I are also living in sin…. LOL and because of job situations (one of us don’t have one yet) we’ve decided to wait on the honeymoon. After spending the money on the wedding we decided we don’t want to live our first year of marriage on noodles and frozen burritos. So we’re going to wait. Maybe 6 months or so.

    Hopefully by then his Medical Billing classes will pay off with a nine to five.

    So don’t stress. Get married, finish school and then you can celebrate even more when you do go :)

  7. Member
    mstoadstool 2485 posts, Buzzing bee @ 8:39 am

    Bahahaha Living in Sin, I’m so jealous.
    Mr. Toadstool and I will be moving in together for the first time after the wedding and we’re not having a honeymoon. In my mind everything will be new and exciting no matter where we are. I think if we lived together we’d appreciate a honeymoon more, since it’s be a nice way to relax after the wedding stress and have something different. But that might be my mind trying to compensate we’re not having a honeymoon.

  8. Member
    bracelet 1419 posts, Bumble bee @ 9:05 am

    We didn’t have a real honeymoon, either. And I’m okay with that because it would just be a financially unsound decision at the moment. Sometime in the next few years when we’re both actually earning good money, we’ll take a honeymoon-ish trip hopefully. :)

  9. Member
    anemonie 1578 posts, Bumble bee @ 9:35 am

    As I see it, the point of a honeymoon and the reason I insisted on one is to relax after so many months of crazy wedding planning and sort of bask in your new married status, let it all sink in before you have to return to “normal” life.

    If there’s a good chance you’d be frazzled trying to get work done on the trip or be stressing out about missing something important, I would honestly put it off until you can get an honest-to-God vacation to celebrate being married.

    (But who knows, maybe one of your best case scenarios will come true? Fingers crossed for you!)

  10. Member
    manatee 31 posts, Newbee @ 9:42 am

    @SoonToBeMrsDonnieW: @TheDistrictBee: Wow, so you guys really know what I’m getting into! I’m glad to hear that so many of your fellow students pull it off, that is SO encouraging to hear!

    Thank you for all the encouragement, everyone! Some better news is coming up soon!

  11. Member
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 2:04 pm

    I hope you can still pull off a minimoon without having any issues with school! Obviously, school should be first, but it would be so nice if you could do both :)

  12. Member
    panda 1359 posts, Bumble bee @ 4:01 pm

    I totally understand. school (and life) always seem to be getting in the way of taking exciting breaks. That being said, I vote for faking death. I think it’s the smartest decision ;)

  13. Member
    bluewhale 638 posts, Busy bee @ 4:26 pm

    This post made me smile so much. I’m with Miss Panda. Fake your death!

    Ok not really. I actually think that planning a wedding while doing something else intense is a somewhat good idea. (This is coming from the girl who is writing a dissertation, starting a second bachelor’s degree AND planning a wedding.) It’s easy to get way too obsessed with wedding planning. Having school all the time will keep you from getting too crazy with wedding planning :)

    (Also, I think that even if the worst case scenario happens, you’ll still have an awesome time because you’ll be married!) :)

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