Although I’ve written a lot of posts lately on DIY projects and small frivolous details, Mr. Wallaby and I also spent a lot of time preparing for our life together. After all, it’s ultimately about the marriage, not the wedding, right?! Whenever we’re with married couples we seek out their advice for maintaining a healthy relationship that lasts. We look up to both of our sets of parents who are happily married after around 30 years. (Even more rare—my grandparents were married almost 60 years before my grandpa passed away! How sweet is that?!) And when we found out that my church offers pre-marriage classes and counseling, we gladly signed up.
I attend a Presbyterian church, and the church offers a “Looking Toward Marriage” class twice a year. The class lasts six weeks, and it is designed to help engaged couples prepare for the hurdles of marriage: family-of-origin differences, finances, intimacy, the spiritual covenant, parenting, etc. Even though Mr. Wallaby and I felt like we had discussed everything (joint finances! three kids someday! retire early! Christmas traditions!) we learned so much from those six classes. Each week a different couple from the church spoke about a particular topic, so we heard from a pretty varied sample of couples with totally different experiences and advice. We even had a binder with “homework assignments,” which kept the discussions flowing at home too. The last week, the couple that coordinated the whole class hosted a dinner party at their house, and we met several married couples who are graduates from the “Looking Toward Marriage” class. I thought it was awesome to hear how the class helped them work out some of their issues and prepare for some of the challenges that would arise in their first few years of marriage.
We also started doing premarital counseling with the pastor who will marry us. We met with him several times to discuss our relationship, as well as the details of the ceremony. He is a great husband and father, and we’ve received so much wisdom from him. He also gave us great confidence that, yes, we were ready to get hitched, and we can and will work out anything that comes our way. Every time we met with him, he asked us to list 10 things we love about one another, and then he asked us what will change when we are married.
Here are a few thoughts that came to mind each time I was asked these questions: Mr. W is one of the most loyal, steadfast people I know. He is committed to anything he takes on, he is always seeking new knowledge and self-improvement, he is a total family man, and he showers me with love. He is filled with passion, and I know that he wouldn’t hurt a fly. He shares the same love for other people and for the environment that I do, and he is my biggest cheerleader (cheer…man?) whenever I set to accomplish something. He will never complain if I burn the spaghetti, and he makes sure I pack earplugs for loud concerts and sports games. (I suffer from terrible tinnitus.) Yet, although we were 100% committed to each other then, once we were married, we would become one and make a spiritual commitment to one another, till death do us part. We were about to move in together—so logistically a lot of things would change!—and we would continue our quest to keep one another happy and fulfilled. And I am sure that it will be worth the ride.
Mr. Wallaby, I love you to the ends of the earth and back, and I counted down the days and hours until I could marry you.
A perfect afternoon / Personal photo
What will change when you get married? Or, married bees, what has changed since you tied the knot?