No, this post is not about venue choice. I wish it had been that straightforward at the beginning. This post is about cities. What city would we physically have the wedding in? Our three choices were:
1. Cincinnati, Ohio
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Image via Treasures in My Heart: Cincinnati
Pros:
Cons:
2. Little Rock, Arkansas
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Image via Arkansas.com
Pros:
Cons:
3. Tampa, Florida
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Image by JMany Fine Art Photography
Pros:
Cons:
Ugh. It was hard, because no city was perfect. Regardless of which one we chose, someone was going to lose out or pay more.
So many people said, “Well, aren’t you just having it in Cincinnati?” because that is the traditional thing to do, have it in the bride’s hometown. But we didn’t feel like we automatically had to jump on the tradition boat, and we decided to have the wedding in:
TAMPA!!
We knew in our hearts this was the best choice for us. We both feel great about this decision. I know I would have been bummed delegating tasks to people in another city, and we have found some really neat areas in our wedding-vendor search. Our families have been really supportive, and I have been crafting up a storm.
Did anyone else feel pressure about choosing a city based on family obligations or tradition?
I think you made the right choice. I can not imagine planning a wedding from afar, even if you had more help, you and your fiance are still the most important people in the planning process. It wasn’t difficult for my FI and I because we have the same hometown and most of our family is in the same place. Plus, I am currently back living in my hometown taking care of some stuff until our wedding in March and my FI only lives an hour away so its easy for him to come up spur of the moment if I need help with something.
I’m having a similar decision to make. We live in a small town 2-4 hours from my FI’s family and 8 hours from mine. My mom wants it in my home town for all the reasons you mentioned, but I love my new place and I wouldn’t really want to plan from afar 
I’m letting the venue decide.. whatever place I fall in love with venue wise determines the location, so I’m looking at a combination of towns.
I think you made the right choice! All of our guests are going to have to travel too. And surprisingly, most of them were just okay with that!
(Also, I have no idea how far along you are in the planning process, but it’s so much harder to get vendors booked when you’re not getting married where you live. Being in Tampa will make it so much easier on you.)
we are had a similar issue but luckily we are all a bit closer so we were able to compromise. My family lives in Boston (and I grew up there) however FH and I live in NYC. We met in NYC and have lived here for the past 7 + yrs (he has been here more like 15) so it seemed silly to get married so far away (about 5 + hrs drive)
my parents refused to pay if the wedding was in NYC (and I did understand why), I refused to have to plan my wedding so far away…
In the end we compromised on the Berkshires which are about 2.5hrs from each of us….. almost exactly in the middle and also very convenient to his parents (hartford ct)
It actually came down to finding a compatible venue more than anything though since that was what we cared about more than exact location (as long as it was in the NE of course)
Having the same dilemma. My fiance and I are from two different cities. I currently live in his city. But everyone (particularly my mother) are expecting me to have the wedding in my hometown. I don’t know how I feel about planning a wedding from afar. I’d rather just have it where I’m living now. Plus, none of his family would have to travel. And I know my family would travel no matter where the wedding is.
We had to make a similar decision…well, we NEVER were going to have the wedding in TX where his mother and brother are, but we could have had the wedding near where we live (NYC Metro Area which is also where I grew up, which is also where 100% of my family lives) but ended up having it actually where we met (Baltimore, where we met in college), where NO family lives, so EVERYBODY has to travel! Planning semi-long distance hasn’t been hard, we’ve driven down (3 hours each way) there about 3 times over the past year and have been able to accomplish everything in those 3 weekends, and we figure it may as well be inconvenient for everybody and sentimental for us, rather than just inconvenient for his family, lol.
Mr. C is from Michigan and both my parents live out of state (one in CA and one in IL) so we chose Georgia as a sort of middle ground. Plus, I didn’t want to plan our wedding from out of town. It sounded really stressful to me, because I’m the type of person who likes to sit down and meet people face-to-face to get a feel for the quality and reliability of their services. It means pretty much everyone except our friends, my brother, and one of his sisters will be coming from out of town, but it was the most logical solution to keep any one family (or side of the family as both our parents are divorced) from having the upper hand.
And can I just say how much I love seeing your little squirrel icon pop up on the main page! It is SO CUTE!!
It can be so hard to pick a place knowing people are going to have to travel, but your planning will be so much easier being in Tampa! I know you won’t regret it, plus there’s a beach 
my cincinnati is your tampa 
i had lived in cinci for only six months when we got engaged. having it here was largely a decision of convenience–meeting with all possible vendors, etc. like you said.
…what surprised me during/after the our wedding was that getting married in the city where we were building our life together felt kind of…empowering. our city, as our own family of two semi-adults. it wound up being the right decision for way more reasons than i originally thought. i hope tampa gives you the very same!
I definitely think you made the right choice! It was a difficult choice for Batman and I too: do we choose our current college town, my hometown 2 1/2 hours away, or his 3 hours away (and in a different state than mine)? In the end, my hometown was the most affordable and convenient, though it has been hard to only be able to meet with vendors during school breaks!
Yes I had the same problem. I am from a very tiny town in Indiana, fiance is from Miami, and we both currently live in Indianapolis roughly 2 hours from my hometown. We are having the wedding here in Indy and my mom is STILL dropping hints about how much easier/cheaper/traditional it would have been to have it in my hometown. Cheaper and more traditional yes, but easier only for her. I didn’t want to ask my fiance’s family to fly into Indy and then drive 2 MORE hours to our location plus he and I both love our venue choice here in the city.
Mr TTR and I LOVE to travel… and do it a fair bit (be it for Business or Pleasure). I am familiar with all 3 of these cities, and I have to say of them, Tampa is certainly my fave… such a great vibe there.
And besides being easy to plan in your own backyard, there is as you say THE BEACH nearby… but there is also a lot of great things for Friends & Family coming in to see and do.
Make sure that you let everyone know about Yabor City… and maybe point out that a visit there to see the unique architecture, the Cigar Makers at work, or sipping Cuban Coffees (or Mojitos) is a great way to spend an afternoon. And should time allow, a meal at the Original Columbia Restaurant (the US’s oldest Restaurant)… where they can enjoy great eats like the 1904 Salad & Dressing… or take in a Flamenco Show.
Yup, Yabor City is one of the things that make Tampa a fabulous “Destination” City.
Tampa was a great decision! I’m a Tampa native, so I’m a little biased I’m getting married in two weeks in a suburb of Tampa, can’t wait. I’m excited to see all your blog posts, I’m so happy we have a Tampa bee!!!
@love108: Hah, I am impressed! I don’t think I could have handled the venue search the three cities! One city was stressful enough @littlemisshostess: Yikes! Sounds like you found the perfect compromise though! I wish we had the same option…@sarg88: Oh moms….I would suggest having a very candid talk with her and explain your reasons for not wanting to have it in your hometown. Once I did that, my mom was much more open to a different city.
@Miss Camel: I was really worried about one family having the ‘upper hand’ too…got to love neutral territory!
@Mrs. Pony: Hah exactly! Who doesn’t love a beach??
@Mrs. Prairie Dog: Thanks! That’s what I’m hoping too, I can tell it is already starting to happen as we get to know the city beet through the planning process. How do you like Cinci?? I definitely miss my skyline and graeters!!!
@This Time Round: That’s so funny you mention that because we are actually talking with The Columbia right now as a possible rehearsal dinner location! You seem to know a lot about the city….Please send any other suggestions my way
@Bri Bri: Thanks! It seems like West Coast FL is definitely underrepresented! Our local boards get no love either! Congrats on your wedding! I hope everything turns out great!
Oh, I totally understand! We were stuck with either Wisconsin (my home state), Michigan (his home state), or South Carolina (where we met, dated, and lived for five years). Everyone expected us to get married in our hometown, and my mom was not happy about it, so I feel you @sarq88.
We made the same decision you did — to get married in “our” city. Now it turns out we’re going to be moving to Michigan after we get married, but we didn’t know that then! It’s so encouraging to see other brides dealing with the same thing!
I think you definitely made the right choice. We had to decide between our two hometowns and our current city as well. I’m so happy we went with our current city because it was SO MUCH EASIER to plan than it would’ve been to plan from a distance.
I think you made the best choice, I know a lot of brides can pull off planning from afar, but I enjoyed the planning process so much, I can’t imagine not being 100% hands on in it, specially since it seems you are a DIY bride.
I absolutely think you both made the right choice. Tampa is beautiful and doesn’t get a lot of credit – I can’t wait to read more about the specifics!
We had a similar choice. Get married in MA (my home state), CT (his home state) or Maine (a state we had visited together several times and loved mutually). We went with Maine, that way no one got more of an advantage then the others (its unfortunate that grown adults would throw a fit about it being in “their” state instead of “ours” but we knew it would happen) so we just picked a nice middle ground. It is about a 4-5 hour drive any way you cut it for everyone and probably an overnight stay, but we blocked off some rooms and they on’t have to fly so we think it will be fine. In the end, we chose together and it was an important decision in our process– WE love Maine and if everybody else doesn’t they will just have to deal
Mrs. Squirrel, Tampa, FL Age and Occupation: 25, Genetic Counselor Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Graphic Designer/ Engineering Student Engagement Date: March 17, 2012 Wedding Date: May 2013 Venue: Davis Island Garden Club About Me: I am a DIY loving, science dork. I like to eat green peppers every day and I wish all clothes would be made with bows and lace. I moved to the South for grad school and stumbled across Mr. Squirrel, aka Southern Gent extraordinaire. We moved to Tampa, Florida and are starting a new life together. We are so excited to get married! Our ceremony will be in a Catholic church and the guests will then take a boat ride to the outdoor reception. We are channeling a Midsummer Night's Dream and plan to have lots of twinkling lights, moss, and whimsy in the air.
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